Turned Out by His Hood Mentality 1

by Diamond D Johnson

  I heard him mumble the last part.

  I didn’t even respond. There was no desire to respond to his ass. I didn’t take anything he said as a compliment. He came off as a fuckin’ entitled ass NBA player. This nigga was probably so used to bitches flocking to him and praising him, treating him like he was a king. He felt that he could do no wrong. This was the same nigga who fuckin’ left me and just disappeared. He ain’t try to send me a letter or nothing when he went off to college.

  I had no respect for him because the second he came behind me, he should have opened his mouth with an apology. On top of that, this nigga had years to try to apologize for the shit that he had pulled years ago. I felt like he was only addressing the shit now because he saw me, and he kind of felt like he had to.

  “Damn. I knew you would be pissed off with me before I even brought my ass over here,” Truth said, and then I heard him release a sigh.

  Within a matter of seconds, I felt him stepping closer to me, and then his strong arms wrapped around my body from behind. I tried to push his arms off me, but he wouldn’t move. I couldn’t even front; he smelled so good, and his arms were so big and strong. From the way he was holding onto me, I instantly noticed how much muscle he’d retained in his arms. Granted, back in high school, he had always had a nice, athletic build, but right now, there was no doubt in my mind that he could lift me up with just one hand.

  Looking down at his arms, I saw the many tattoos that he now had, which he never had before. I got lost in his arms for about thirty seconds before I found all the strength that I needed. This time, I pushed his ass off me. I whipped myself around and stared up at him. Beautiful. If I had to describe him in one word, I would say that this nigga was beautiful. Tall as hell. I’m not even kidding, I really thought his ass could be at least seven feet. A nice, strong body with beautiful honey chestnut skin that was pretty much perfect. There wasn’t a zit, a pimple, or bump in sight on his face. I would pay him for his skin routine, although I had phenomenal skin myself.

  One of the things that all the girls and I loved about Truth was the hazel eyes that he was blessed with. Back in school, he had a lot of curly, jet black hair. Now, his hair still had that curly look, but it was faded on the sides, and he rocked a nice, curly taper. I mentioned before that he played for the Lakers, so right now, he was in a custom Lakers jersey with his name and number on it. All the ink that covered his arms was visible. He wore gray joggers that he sagged in just a little bit. When my eyes dropped to that curve in his dick, I had to stop looking immediately because flashbacks of prom night resurfaced in my head.

  I looked down at his feet, which were in a pair of white Forces, and just like I remembered, his feet were huge! As attractive as he was, and as famous as he was, I didn’t care. The physical shit that I saw would never take away the pain that I endured because of his ass.

  “Niggas really shock me more and more every day with the bold shit that y’all pull. Your face is nowhere near good with me. You were better off pretending that you never even saw me. I would have respected you more if you had done that,” I spat at him and then looked out into the road, trying to see if my car had pulled up yet, but it hadn’t. These damn valet drivers were taking forever.

  “You got every right to be mad at me, Twinkle. Personally, I don’t even think this the right time or place for me to even bring up the past, but I owe you that much. I would rather apologize for my fucked-up actions to you in private, but judging by the look in your eyes, I’m not sure if I’ll get another chance to even see you. Just know that shit was hard on me too. I cried for months when I had to leave Miami. Most importantly, when I had to leave you. Believe it or not, I loved you back then. Shit, I still love your ass. Back in high school, I ain’t fuck with no girls at the school on some exclusive shit because my trust was fucked up. I didn’t know who was going to be for me, like on some loyal shit versus who was just trying to fuck with me because they knew that my future was going to be promising. I never questioned your motives. I knew that when it came down to it, you could give a fuck about what I had.

  “Two days before it was time for me to leave, I started talking to my dad. You know my dad was the one who raised me. I was deeply in love with your ass, so I told my dad that I wanted to stay here and go to the University of Miami and play ball. Back then, they wanted me too. I got my ass cursed out because he knew that I was switching up my decision just to be with you. I’ll admit, I let him get in my head and tell me how I didn’t need no girlfriend at that time and how a girl was only going to slow me down. Breaking up with you was the hardest shit that I ever had to do, but I felt like it was going to be the only thing that would keep me focused up there and—”

  “Truth, you don’t owe me an apology. The things that you are telling me right now sounds like a bunch of bullshit. It’s cool, though. That was in the past. I don’t even think about you anymore. From the looks of things, you’re doing good with your life, and I’m in a good place in my life as well. I wish you nothing but the best, but I gotta go. There goes my car,” I said and attempted to walk off, but he reached out and gently grabbed my arm. I could see the sadness in his eyes.

  “Ima be in Miami for the next few days. You think we could meet up? I want to finish talking to you,” he said.

  As nasty as I wanted to be and chill with him as a way to get some get back on Monterius, I wasn’t even that type of person. Besides, I was pregnant with another man’s baby, so I would never do no foul shit like that.

  “No. Take care,” I softly told him, and then I pulled my arm back.

  I could tell that it was so much more that he wanted to say and do, but he let me go. I didn’t even give Normani any time to ask about who Truth was. Instead, I just started laying it all out there when she and I got in the car. I explained to her how we met and started dating, and then he asked me to be his date to prom, and how I lost my virginity to him on prom night. I ended it by telling her how he broke up with me the day before he left to go and play ball.

  “He was so handsome. I can tell by the way that he was looking at you that he definitely still cares about you. What do you think is going to happen? If you’re done with Monterius for good, do you see yourself getting back with Truth?” Normani asked me from the passenger seat.

  I didn’t have an answer for that, so I really just shrugged because, at that moment, I didn’t know. What I did know was that Monterius’ ass was fuckin’ crazy and would, without a doubt, kill any nigga that I even thought about entertaining. I cannot express enough how many times this man has told me that he would kill me and whatever dude I messed with. No, Monterius wasn’t abusive toward me. He’d never even raised his hand and acted like he was going to hit me. Does he jack my ass up from time to time? Yeah, but I had no stories of any physical abuse happening because it never happened.

  Normani and I spent the rest of the day together. After having a late brunch, I ended up driving her to the location in Pembroke Pines that I was more than positive would be where I opened my boutique. From there, we ended up hitting up the nail salon, and it felt like we had been in there forever because, on a Saturday afternoon, the place was overly crowded. After that, it was only right that we hit up the mall, which is where the majority of our day was spent.

  I chilled out at Normani’s house for at least an hour and decided that I would just drive my car back to my mama’s house. The sun had gone down, and I was turning into my mother’s community when I called her from the car’s Bluetooth.

  “Yeah, girl? I’m in the middle of a good ass movie on Lifetime,” was the first thing my mama said when she answered the phone.

  I sucked my teeth while rolling my eyes because she always had some shit with her. Loyal and my mother weren’t close at all, and their relationship was pretty much nonexistent. Loyal was still holding onto the past and didn’t want to forgive our mother for the shit that we had to endure when we were younger, but I was actually close with our mother. Even closer now that her ass
was no longer on drugs.

  At the most, my mama will have a glass of wine, but that’s as far as it went. The last time that she’d gone to prison, which was the biggest charge of credit fraud, she came home and willingly checked herself into rehab. That was years ago, and I can definitely say that I’ve seen a big change in her.

  Loyal could act like she hated our mother all she wanted, but I knew she missed her. While she was doing that prison bid, I knew she needed our mother to be there for her. Although my mama was trying, Loyal was pushing all of her help away. She even took our mother off her visitation list. When my mama sent letters to her at the prison, she never responded.

  “Girl! I’ll be pulling up in a few seconds. Come outside, just in case Monterius is lurking in the shadows. I’m driving my car. I didn’t get dropped off,” I told her.

  “No! He needs to be lurking in the shadows and snatch your ass up for running off. You got me in the middle of your shit, and him watching my fuckin’ house is fuckin’ with my head. I feel like the feds are outside, watching me like they used to when you and Loyal were little girls. Go home to your man, Twinkle, with your pregnant ass!” she snapped.

  I opened my mouth in shock, surprised that she said something about my pregnancy. My mama snapping on me wasn’t even surprising because her mouth had always been crazy. She was the reason why Loyal and I didn’t have a filter on our mouths.

  “You gonna come and open the door or not? What if this nigga is outside and he hits me? Come on, ma. You act like you can’t pause the damn movie!” I snapped, annoyed that she wouldn’t come outside.

  “Because I know the nigga isn’t silly enough to put his hands on you. Bye, Twinkle, with all your damn drama,” she said and then hung up the phone.

  I sucked my teeth and threw the phone in the passenger seat. After circling my mama’s block twice, I didn’t see any signs of Monterius’ car parked anywhere, so I felt like I was good. I pulled my car into my mama’s driveway, parked behind her Lexus truck, and stepped out. I checked my surroundings, and once I saw that everything was straight, I popped the trunk with my keys in hand and grabbed the bags that I’d picked up from the mall.

  The second the trunk closed, he was right there. He was posted up with his back against the car and smoking from a blunt like everything was fine. I screamed, dropped the bags, and tried to run, but all he had to do was reach out and roughly pull me into him. I had never been around Monterius and feared him, but for whatever reason, I was shaking. I’d never pulled no shit like this where I disappeared for a week, so I really didn’t know what to expect. I looked into his light brown eyes, and they were red. I didn’t know if that came from the weed he was smoking or from him being tired. Any other time when he saw me, I could see in his eyes that he was happy to be in my presence, but right now, all I saw in his eyes was that I had him fucked up.

  Monterius was in a black Gucci hoodie with the hood over his head, and he wore Gucci sweats that he was sagging real low in, showing his boxers, and Gucci slides were on his feet. I knew the nigga was crazy when five minutes had gone by, and he hadn’t even said anything to me. He blew the smoke in my face repeatedly, as if he was just waiting on the right moment to curse my ass out. Without a doubt, I already knew that a tongue lashing was coming.

  “That nigga who touched you, you better hope I don’t catch him in the streets. I got a bullet for his ass,” was the first thing he said to me.

  “What nigga?” I asked.

  I mean, there was a chance that he could be talking about Truth, but really, I doubted it because how the hell would he know that? Knowing Monterius, he was fuckin’ with my head and just trying to see if I was going to tell on myself and admit to someone touching me, so I wasn’t going to say shit.

  He took a long pull from his blunt and pulled on his beard. After that, he put his hands back on my lower back, where they had initially been and aggressively pulled me to him.

  “I look stupid to you? What nigga touched you today? You know exactly what pussy ass nigga I’m talking about. If you want me to be a little bit more specific, I’m talking about the nigga whose dick you bled on! Don’t fuckin’ insult me, Twinkle, and I suggest you find your damn common sense before I find the shit for you! What’s your reasoning behind doing this shit again, because I obviously missed something? I looked you in your fuckin’ eyes and told you that I wasn’t out fuckin’ no bitch, yet you insist that I was.

  “If we going to be honest and lay it all on the line, I still wouldn’t have fucked you even after I showered if I was out the previous night fuckin’ on a bitch. Any time in the past that I did get some outside pussy, I would go days before I stuck my dick in you again because I would always feel guilty about the shit. That’s why you left home? So, you could entertain that NBA ass nigga? Motha fucka, answer me, Twinkle, because I’m looking at you funny right now, shorty!” he had the nerve to say.

  A tear dropped from my eyes, and I pushed his ass.

  “Just like a narcissistic ass nigga to try to flip this shit and put it all on me! When you made up this stupid ass scenario in your head, you had to have known that it didn’t even sound right. I’m going to just one day leave home and run off with the next nigga, just because? You sound stupid! What the fuck does you looking me in my eyes and telling me that you didn’t fuck another bitch validate? Nigga, you know how many times in the past you’ve looked me in my eyes and lied to me? Oh, and by the way, if I did fuck around with someone else, I would have every fuckin’ right to do that. Considering all the shit that I’ve put up with over the years from your ass, I could use some revenge dick. Now, move! I’m going in the house!” I pushed his ass one more time, and this time, he let me go.

  “Ima leave because you feeling yourself. I had every intention of dragging your ass back home, but I honestly couldn’t give a fuck now. I’m liable to punch you in your mouth tonight, so to keep myself from getting a domestic charge, Ima bounce,” he voiced then himself off the car and prepared to walk away.

  Call me crazy, but the fact that he wasn’t even fighting for me and was so quick to walk away, that shit angered me. So here’s the part where I talk my shit.

  “Go! Go and fuck them bitches like you always do. You just looking for me to give you a reason to stick your dick in another bitch. I hate you!” I spat.

  He let out a sarcastic laugh and shrugged.

  “Ima do that. Ima fuck a bitch that ain’t as fuckin’ bipolar as your ass. Go in the house before I break your fuckin’ neck!” he barked to me.

  Hearing him say that he was going to fuck another bitch tonight crushed me, so because he took it there, I was going to be the one to put the icing on the cake.

  “And while you’re fuckin’ that bitch, I’m going to be in the house, on the computer, making an appointment to kill this baby, just like I did the last one. Fuck you!” I screamed.

  Before I even had time to pick up my foot and walk away, he was on my ass and slamming me on the hood of my car. If I wasn’t scared before, I was definitely scared now. I looked at him and saw so much anger. I saw hatred in his eyes. As mad as I could tell that he was, I also saw a bit of hurt too. While he had me pinned against the car, I heard the front door open, and my mama came out. I could see her from where I was, and she was in her pajamas with her scarf on her head.

  “Alright, that’s enough! Monterius, get off her!” I heard my mama say as she made her way down the three porch steps.

  “Yo, you killed my child, Twinkle?” he asked.

  The way he asked me, I swear it broke my heart. I couldn’t even answer him, so I looked away. When I did that, his hands went around my neck, and he squeezed the shit out of it to the point that I couldn’t even breathe. Tears fell from my eyes, and I used my long nails to pry his hands from around my neck. My mama was behind him too, trying to pull him off me, but this nigga had the strength of a beast.

  Just when I felt like I was going to lose all my air supply, he let me go, and my body dropped. I fell on my
ass, and he stood in front of me, pulling me by the front of my shirt.

  “You had an abortion before, Twinkle, from a baby that you carried for me?” he asked again.

  While crying, I nodded my head.

  “We weren’t ready, and—”

  “Did you fuckin’ discuss that shit with me? Don’t you sit yo’ spiteful ass here and try to validate the fuck shit that you pulled. Wasn’t ready, how? We got money, ain’t it? We got a place for a baby to stay, ain’t it? You foul as fuck, with your vindictive ass. You sit here and do all of this fuckin’ crying, talking about a nigga steady hurting you, but you go and kill my fuckin’ baby. This break that you so desperately want, you got it. Only thing is, this ain’t no break! This shit is permanent.

  “On my mama, I’m done, ma. If you pregnant right now like say you are, and you kill this one, I’m telling you right here in front of yo’ mama that I will fuckin’ murder your ass. Oh, and by the way, the night that you accused me of being out fuckin’ a bitch, I was out trappin’. When I was on my way home, a bitch hit me up, telling me that she carrying my son. I went over there to confront her, and I was going to tell you that shit, but you never even gave a nigga a chance to. If that’s my son, then I guess I got two babies on the way. What was that you just told me a few minutes ago? You hate me, right? Well, looks like I hate yo’ ass too!” he spat and then walked off.

  Pulling my knees up to my chest, I burst into tears because I knew for a fact that I’d lost him this time. We were definitely done. I cried for that, and I cried because he told me that he possibly had another baby on the way.

  “Why that nigga got to come to the door? Why he can’t just wait outside in the fuckin’ car, and you take Khari out there to him?” my first baby daddy, Reggie, spat to me, with his annoying, insecure ass.