Turned Out by His Hood Mentality 1

by Diamond D Johnson

  “Here’s another big contraction, Mom. Just push through it… come on… come on… you got it… you got it,” Dr. Stevenson coached as we counted to ten through my sister’s pushing.

  “That was perfect. Do it just like that again, and I promise you that the baby is coming this time,” he said.

  I was standing right behind the doctor, wanting to see everything. My sister had another contraction, and I could see it in her face that she was giving it everything she had with this push. Suddenly, I saw the head of my nephew, and my hands immediately went over my mouth. I felt tears well in my eyes because I was witnessing a new life coming into the world.

  “Keep pushing… keep pushing,” Dr. Stevenson coached.

  Literally, seconds later, a beautiful, slimy-looking baby was ripped out of her. I was crying like I was the one who had just given birth. My mom was crying, my sister, and Liam. I looked over at my father for a second and watched as he removed his glasses and wiped a few tears from his eyes as well. There was nothing more beautiful than the doctor picking my nephew up and placing him on his mother. Seeing the way my sister looked at her son with nothing but adoration in her eyes caused my heart to overflow.

  Although I was an emotional wreck, I still managed to pull out my phone and snap a couple pictures of this beautiful moment. Beautiful cries from my nephew filled the room, which I made sure I caught on video.

  “My first grandbaby,” my mother said through her sobs.

  I walked over to my mom and wrapped my arms around her as she had her moment. This went on for about thirty minutes or so. Everyone calmed down once the nurses took the baby so they could get his weight and everything.

  “While they do that, let me have a word with you outside, Normani,” my father came over and said.

  I knew this was coming, so I couldn’t even say that I was shocked. Looking at my mother, I questioned her with my eyes about what this could possibly be about. She had the nerve to shrug like she didn’t have a clue, but I knew she did. I stepped out of the hospital room with my father, and he led the way to the lobby area.

  I took a seat while he paced in front of me. For about two minutes, he didn’t say anything. Eventually, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and threw it in my lap. It was a video, and I pressed play. I watched two seconds of it. Once I saw what it was, I locked his phone back and tried to hand it back to him, but he tried to shove the phone back in my hands.

  It was a video of Billionaire and me from last month when he popped up on me at my job, and we went to lunch. Someone had recorded us when we were kissing in the booth. How much free time did a person have on their hands for them to even record something like that?

  “No, don’t hand me the phone back! I want you to go back, look at that video, and see what an embarrassment that are to me and your mother!” he spat.

  My father has always had a way with his words, but even this was a little bit different for him.

  “An embarrassment to you and my mother? Wow,” I said, unable to even believe he said that.

  “Yeah, wow! Those were exactly my thoughts when this video was sent to me. Normani, I mean this in all seriousness. I really want to know if you are on drugs?” this man had the nerve to ask me.

  “Are you for real right now? What would even make you think that I’m on drugs?” I asked.

  “This! This thug that you are in that video kissing! What is wrong with you? I did not raise you to go after a common, low life thug off the street! You are a beautiful, young, wealthy woman. Can’t you see when a man is using you for the things you have? My daughter, you cannot be that naïve! You have to know that this isn’t right. I won’t tell you who, because I don’t want you to confront them, but while you were out having lunch with this low life, one of the members from the church saw you. They took that video and showed it to me after service last weekend.

  “I’ve known about this for almost a week, but I took my time confronting you about it because you are still my daughter, and I wanted to be mindful of the things I said to you. I saw the video, and the first two times I watched it, I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t you in the video, but after the third time, I had to just go ahead and be real with myself.

  “Out of all the men in the world, this is what you go for? I did my digging on him, and you chose to kiss a felon in public! Someone who hasn’t even been home for a full five months yet! Do you know the types of diseases this man could have? On top of that, I was told that he has two different baby mothers. What is your problem, Normani? You obviously are lacking common sense in some area because this is not you!” he spat.

  Before I ever disrespect my father, I would just get up and walk away. I couldn’t leave without saying something to him, though.

  “You get up in the pulpit at church every Sunday, and you preach about how anybody is welcome to your church. Doesn’t matter their age, their race, socio-economic status, nothing. I guess that only pertains to when it’s time for offering, right? You are the same man who pastors in one of the worst parts of Miami, yet you turn your nose up at who I’m deciding to spend my time with.

  “Yes, I know that he’s a felon. Yes, I know that he was just released from prison almost three months ago, and yes, I know about the two baby mothers he has. I also know that he’s a hard worker, and just like me, he has a passion right now for something he loves, and that happens to be real estate. With the route that he’s going, he has no reason to use me because pretty soon, he’ll be making triple what I make.

  “The man who you’re turning your nose up at, I’ve heard him tell me on plenty of occasions how he needed to get his life in order. The God that you preach about is the same God who he tells me has given him a second chance at life. He loves his kids. I see it in the way his eyes light up when he talks about them. He may be so much different from us, but I learned that I wouldn’t even want someone who is just like me,” I told him, using what Billionaire told me yesterday when he questioned me on whether I would want someone just like me, and I really didn’t.

  I said what I said, and I was about to exit, but it was what he said next that paused my steps.

  “If you continue a relationship with that thug, you might as well have your last name changed. You will be no daughter of mine. I mean that,” my father told me.

  Of course, his words hurt, but I wasn’t going to show that to him.

  “If you can so easily cut me off because I chose happiness, then you were never meant to be my father in the first place,” I let him know, and then I left the room.

  It took everything in me to keep myself from crying. I had just gone from feeling like the happiest person in the world as I witnessed my nephew come into the world, to feeling like crap as my father spat nothing but hatred toward me. Never in a million years did I think our relationship would have come to this. I was a daddy’s girl; I absolutely adored my father. To know that he would talk to me like this, just because the guy I liked was far off from what he wanted me to be with was just crazy to me.

  I made it back to my sister’s room, and they had given her back the baby. She was learning how to breastfeed. I took a seat in one of the chairs near the bed, and the second my mother came over to console me, I broke down crying.

  “Ssshhh. It’s okay,” she said, trying to get me to calm down.

  “What’s wrong with her, Ma?” Naomi asked.

  I could hear the concern all in her voice.

  “I have her. Just tend to baby L.J.,” my mom told my sister.

  “I’m not sure what he said to you, but if you’re crying, then I’m sure it was bad. I knew it would be because he has been upset since Sunday. I saw the video. Don’t tell your father I said this, but my daughter, you have tasteeeee because that man is too handsome,” my mom said, making me laugh through my cries.

  Leave it to her to say something like that. I used my sleeves to wipe my tears, and then I stared up at her like she was the one with all the right answers.

  “He ma
kes me happy. He’s far from the person I thought I would end up with, but I view it as a good thing. Plenty of men have tried to get with me over the years, but nothing about them stood out to me. He has some things that were deal breakers for me, yet all of those are reasons why I actually like him. I love how he talks about his kids. I love how I always feel so protected when I’m around him. I believe that people can grow. I hear it in his voice how on track he is. He knows what I do, he knows the things that I’m not going to accept, and I really do see him being the perfect guy. The first time in my life that I feel like I may have a small chance at love. Why do I have to be given an ultimatum?” I asked, with a big tear falling from my eyes as I continued to look up at her.

  “There’s no ultimatum, Normani. Go with what your heart is telling you. I will talk with your father, okay?” she offered.

  I just nodded.

  The look in my father’s eyes told me that his decision was final, and not even my mother, who was his soft spot, would be enough to make him change his mind. I loved my father to pieces; I promise I did, but my love for my father wasn’t going to wrap me in his arms and fall to sleep with me at night. He had love, my sister had love, and now I felt like it was my turn.

  “Look at mine, Auntie. My nails so pretty,” Dream cooed as she showed me her cotton candy colored nails.

  I’d allowed her to get a manicure along with a pedicure. She was all done, and I was just sitting down to let my toes dry, and then we would be out.

  It was Saturday, the day after Valentine’s Day, and Dream was with me. Chase had texted me two days ago and let me know that he wouldn’t be able to get Dream this weekend because he was going out of town. Now, I wanted to mind my own business and stay my ass out of other people’s business, but I felt like he was taking a bitch out of town for Valentine’s Day. Had my sister in that prison, holding his ass down. If I find out that he was entertaining a bitch out here, while he was supposed to be holding Loyal down like he claimed, I swear I was going to beat his ass up on her behalf.

  I could use somebody’s face to take out all of this pent-up energy that I had built up in me. A month had passed since the miscarriage, and it just still felt so fresh to me. I really felt that if I didn’t know anything about the baby that Monterius could possibly have on the way, I would have been able to deal with this a little better. Knowing that I lost a baby, yet there was a bitch out there who could be giving him another one just angered me.

  I didn’t want to believe that we serve a petty God. I didn’t want to believe that the abortion I snuck and got two years ago was the cause of my miscarriage. I really just wanted to believe that it was an unfortunate case of an ectopic pregnancy like the doctor told me. Leave it to me to think so much deeper into this whole thing. It was so fucked up how it happened because I’d literally just made my first prenatal appointment the day before the miscarriage happened. I’d literally just begun to accept the fact that I was going to go through with having my baby, and then boom, I was robbed of that chance.

  Since the miscarriage, I couldn’t stand to be back in that house. Although Monterius had the cleaners come out and do a deep clean, I swore that I could still smell all the blood that I had lost in the living room. I was back at my mama’s house, and pretty soon, I was going to look for a spot of my own for Dream and me. When I say that I was done with this fuck nigga, I meant it. Yeah, he reaches out to me every chance he gets, but the nigga was only doing it because he felt fuckin’ guilty about his new baby that would be here in a couple of months. I loved Monterius so much that my heart beats for him, but I was done with the nigga.

  “They look so pretty. Let me see your toes too,” I said to Dream.

  She kicked her leg out and showed me her pretty feet. We had been out since ten this morning; our day started in the hair salon. While she got her hair braided by one of the stylists, I got my hair washed and blown out. These days, I embraced my natural hair. This was my first time out of the house in weeks.

  When I woke up this morning, I felt the need to get out of the house and pamper myself. For the past few weeks, I had been looking rough. In the middle of me admiring my niece’s feet, my phone started buzzing on my lap. It was a Facetime call from Billionaire. I laughed because this nigga just didn’t how to call somebody regular. It’s like he had to see your face when he talked to you.

  I answered and immediately picked up on how loud his background was.

  “Boy, where you at?” I asked, squinting to get a good look, but I really couldn’t tell.

  “My kids got me out at Extreme Action Park. Where you at? Slide through with Dream. We just got here,” Billion told me.

  I smiled because no matter what, he was just a good father.

  “We’ll be leaving the nail salon soon, and then we’re gonna come,” I told him.

  Dream was jumping up and down because she had been all up in my damn mouth the entire time. She loved going to Extreme Action Park, getting on the trampolines, skating, and playing around in the little arcade. We did what I wanted to do this morning, so I wouldn’t mind taking her to have fun with her other cousins.

  “Aight, cool. I’ll see you when you get here,” he told me, and then he ended the phone call.

  In exactly ten more minutes, we were leaving the nail salon. Luckily, where we were going wasn’t really far, so it would only take fifteen minutes or so. In the middle of the ride, my phone started ringing through the Bluetooth in the car. I smiled when I saw that it was the prison calling, so I knew it was Loyal about to do her afternoon check-in. I went through the steps of answering the phone for her.

  “Hi, Mommmmyyyyy,” Dream cooed from the backseat.

  Sadly, she knew the drill, so she knew it was her mother calling.

  “Hi, beautiful girl. I miss you so much. I’m going to see you next weekend. I love you,” Loyal said to her daughter.

  I picked up on the sadness in her voice, and I was sure she was going to vent to me and tell me what was up.

  “I love you too, Mommy. I miss you more,” Dream told her, melting my heart.

  “Take me off speaker, Twink. I need to talk to you, and I don’t want Dream to hear me,” Loyal said as I jumped on the turnpike.

  I took the phone off speaker and prepared myself for whatever she was getting ready to drop on me.

  “Where is Chase? I been calling the nigga since I was allowed to do my first call this morning. I called his ass four times, and he didn’t answer the phone. I called him twice just now before I called you. It’s the weekend, and he doesn’t have Dream. I know he’s with a bitch. This what I get for being so fuckin’ naïve and thinking that a nigga was going to wait for me while I did this time. I swear, I’m beginning to hate his ass,” she voiced, and then her voice cracked.

  I knew my sister well enough to know that she wasn’t going to cry with me over the phone, though, because that’s just how she was. I said it before that she wasn’t going to show her vulnerable side to anyone. I let her get her venting out of the way while I just listened because I knew that’s what she wanted me to do anyway. When Loyal vented, she didn’t want you siding with her, nor did she want you disagreeing; she just wanted you to listen.

  “Anyway, enough about me. You still haven’t been talking to Monterius?” she asked.

  “No. Fuck him!” I whispered, not wanting Dream to hear me cursing.

  Loyal laughed at what I said like it was funny.

  “The question is, is that what you did yesterday. Fuck him? You know it was Valentine’s Day, and bitches were giving up pussy all around the world,” she said, and I cracked up laughing at her.

  “No. He sent a bunch of stuff over to the house yesterday for me that’s still in the living room. I won’t even rip a corner of the wrapping paper to see what the nigga got me, that’s how through I am. Your nosey ass mama been trying to get me to open at least one of the gifts, so I can see what’s inside, but I’m not,” I told her.

  She let out a grunt at the mention
of our mother.

  “You know she loves you, Loyal,” I told her.

  The minute I said it, the operator came on, letting us know that we had one-minute remaining.

  “Let me tell my daughter bye before the call ends,” she said, not even bothering to respond to what I had just said. She always did that whenever I brought up our mother.

  I sighed and handed Dream the phone. They used up the remaining minute to talk for a little bit, and afterward, Dream kept my phone to play games. More than likely, her tablet had died, and now she was going to use up all of my battery with those games that she had downloaded on my phone, taking up a lot of my space.

  We pulled up to our destination, and I wasn’t even surprised that there were so many damn cars in the parking lot, making it hard for me to find a spot, but I eventually found one. Dream had fallen asleep on the ride over, but the second we pulled up, I swear her eyes popped open. It’s like she had radar and could smell fun from a mile away.

  In no time, the two of us were getting out of the car, and I’d already texted Billion to let him know that we were here. As we were walking up the stairs to get inside, I saw him coming out of the double doors, and Dream took off running in his direction. Dream was really just getting to know Billion because when he went in to serve his sentence, she had just been born. She loved her big cousin, though, and she jumped in his arms.

  “You like my nails?” was the first thing I heard her ask him.

  I laughed because this little girl was going to show everybody her nails all day long. Usually, I would play around and paint her fingernails for her, but today was her first time actually having a professional do it.

  “They pretty. Now watch, Khari gonna see your nails, and she’s going to ask if she can get hers done. Girls, man. I swear they’ll break a nigga’s pockets,” Billion told me as he lowered Dream to the ground and gave me a hug.