by Zoe Matthews
Chase was very handsome and Hannah was completely surprised. She had been prepared for anything and knew that none of it would probably be good. She had learned to expect the worst in her life since that was the way most things worked out. Why would a good-looking man like Chase have to settle for a mail-order bride? Was there something wrong with him that she couldn’t see?
He smelled pleasantly of hay, soap, and horse, all man. His eyes twinkled as he looked at her and she saw green specks in his blue eyes. "We'd better get your trunks before the train leaves.”
Hannah looked down and smoothed a hand over her patched dress and wool coat. “I don’t have any trunks. Just that bag.”
“That’s fine,” Chase’s face continued to look down at her, but now it was with compassion on his face. Did he feel sorry for her that she had so few belongings? On the other hand, maybe he was trying to hide disappointment of her poverty and looks.
You are worth nothing, Hannah, a voice whispered from her past. She always tried to ignore her late husband’s voice. She lifted her chin and looked straight in Chase’s eyes. “I was honest in my letters. I have nothing to bring to this marriage.”
“You are bringing yourself.”
Hannah felt the burning of tears in her eyes at his kind words and looked away to hide them. Did he really mean what he said? She heard a whistle and watched as the train slowly left the station. There were very few people on the platform now as the families that were reunited had gone home. She saw one woman wipe a tear away as she watched the train leave, obviously with someone she loved inside. The snow started to come down harder, the wind blowing it around on the ground.
“A storm is coming. We had better head over to the church before it gets worse.” Chase settled his cowboy hat firmly on his head and then held out his hand. Hannah knew that if she took his offered hand, she was letting him know she was agreeing to marry him. Part of her wanted to turn away. What if this turned out to be a mistake, just like she had made when she agreed to marry Jack? But if she didn’t marry Chase, where would she go? No one would be willing to hire a pregnant woman. She would not be able to provide for the baby once it was born.
She knew that she really didn’t have a choice. She carefully placed her hand into his and he gently squeezed it in reassurance. She was amazed how much larger his hand was compared to her own. His fingers engulfed her hand, but she felt the gentleness in his squeeze.
“The reverend is waiting. We should head over there.” He led her down the street. He towered over her as he protected her from the ice wind.
Chase stopped next to a covered buggy. Hannah heard the black colored horse blow out his breath. Chase helped her into the buggy and then untied the horse from the hitching post. He grasped the reins and climbed in beside her. “I just want to make sure you haven’t changed your mind.”
“No, I haven’t,” Hannah responded with a small smile. “I guess I should ask you the same question.”
Twilight was approaching and he looked like a shadow to her in the coming darkness with white flakes of snow on his coat.
“Nope.” It was a single word, but there was a smile in his voice that calmed her nerves.
Chase made a clicking noise and the horse started walking down the street. She knew when they arrived at the church, he would be able to get a good look at her, and she hoped he wouldn’t change his mind.
“Tell me about your town,” Hannah invited after a few moments of silence.
“Pine Valley is a small town but the people who live here are about the friendliest people I have ever met.” Chase held the reins lightly in his large hands. “I hope you aren’t too disappointed in its size.”
“No, I’m not. I like small towns. It’s actually larger than the one I came from.”
“What was this other town like?” he asked with interest.
“I lived on a small farm with my husband which was located just outside of Cedarbrooke, Ohio. There was a general store, a tavern and train stop, along with a few homes. There wasn’t even a church.”
Talking about Jack brought her past unhappiness to the surface and she tried to push those bad memories away. She knew she needed to find the strength to endure marriage again. She would do her best to be positive. “Is your house far from town?”
“It's just on the edge. I only own about ten acres. I never wanted to farm or ranch, but I like the solitude. I built the cabin myself.”
“I am excited to see it.” She sighed and tried to look in the distance, but all she saw was the coming darkness and snow flurries. “I enjoyed the views of the mountains from the train. This is beautiful country.”
“Montana is heaven on earth, in my opinion.” Chase pulled the reins to stop the horse. “Here is the church.”
Hannah saw the steeple faintly in the snow. The door to the church flew open and a man in a dark coat waved his hand.
“Come out of the storm and warm yourselves, Chase,” the man yelled out.
“Sure thing, Reverend,” Chase called back as he jumped onto the ground. “Let me cover my horse real quick.”
Hannah felt her stomach quiver. She knew part of the reason was because she was hungry. Her last meal had been that morning and it was only a hard piece of bread and a shriveled apple. She had been dealing with nausea every morning because of the pregnancy and sometimes she had it in the evenings. She wished she had something to eat to make the nausea go away. To keep her mind off her stomach, she started to jump from the buggy.
“What are you doing?” Chase left the horse’s side. Hannah’s heart had jumped at his words, afraid she had angered him in some way, but it calmed at his smile. “You should wait for me to help you down.”
“Oh.” Hannah couldn’t think of a thing to say. He wanted to help her? She couldn’t remember a time when someone had ever helped her from a wagon or buggy. Even Dr. Wilson had expected her to get down on her own. Chase took her hand as she stepped onto the running board and landed on the ground. She ended up standing very close to him and he towered over her. She stepped back quickly and tried to thank Chase, but the words stuck in her throat.
“Be careful, it’s icy.” He kept her hand in his own and led her down a snow-covered path and into the small church. As they stepped into the well-lit building, she tried not to gasp when she looked at him. He was even more handsome than she had been able to see at the train station. His wide smile and broad shoulders made her heart jump and she did her best to ignore it.
Why would Chase need a mail-order bride? The unspoken question cut into the confidence in herself. Now he could see her clearly. What if he regretted his decision? Was he trying to hide his disappointment?
“I’ll be right back,” Chase promised her after he led her to a nearby bench. “I need to take care of the horse.”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him and watched him leave. It impressed her that he cared for his horse so well. Jack could have cared less about the animals that he owned and had barely taken care of them.
The reverend approached her after Chase left. “Chase tells me you’re a widow, but you aren’t wearing black. Does this mean the mourning period is over?” The reverend’s words appeared to be genuine and not accusing as he was smiling at her with sympathy.
“My husband died two months ago.” Hannah looked down at the floor as she felt his intense scrutiny. She would not allow him to make her feel guilty for wanting, for needing to move on with her life. She wouldn’t admit she didn’t own a black dress and she couldn’t afford to purchase fabric to make one. However, she admitted to herself deep inside, she hadn’t wanted to wear black. She was not sad that Jack’s life ended so quickly and didn’t miss him.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
Hannah heard the compassion in the reverend’s voice and glanced up. She was amazed that where others might have judged her, he showed understanding. Then she saw the reverend glance at her waistline.
She flushed and tightened her arms around herself as if prot
ecting what she was carrying. She didn’t feel like she could speak of her pregnancy to someone she didn’t know, even if he was a reverend, although she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide her condition forever.
The door swung open and Chase came in along with a heavyset woman and a young woman who looked to be close to her age. Chase quickly slammed the door shut to keep out the icy wind.
“This is the reverend’s wife, Mrs. Doris Brown, and their daughter, Helen.” Chase introduced the new arrivals. “They are going to witness our marriage. “
Helen smiled at Hannah. “Welcome to Pine Valley. I hope you will be happy here.”
Mrs. Brown was a large woman who smiled widely at Hannah and threw an arm around her shoulders. “That storm is getting worse. We'd better speed things up so you can be on your way.” She walked as quickly as her body allowed to the front of the chapel and scooted onto an organ bench. She immediately started to play vigorously “Amazing Grace," a hymn that normally was meant to be played quite a bit slower. Helen took her place close to her father with a smile.
Chase came up, stood beside her, and took her hands in his own. “Are you ready to get married?”
Hannah nodded her head in agreement. They both faced the reverend.
Mrs. Brown kept playing as if she wasn’t aware the short ceremony was ready to start. Finally, the reverend cleared his throat, and the organ music stopped abruptly. Hannah heard a slight giggle. She turned towards the sound and saw that Helen was trying not to laugh. She smiled at Hannah with a twinkle in her eyes. Hannah smiled back.
Chapter 2
“You may now kiss the bride,” Reverend Brown announced in a booming voice. A gust of wind from outside shook the windows and Chase could almost feel the cold air on his face. The reverend had not started a fire in the wood stove and the chapel was quite chilly.
Chase hadn’t pictured the marriage ceremony to be like this, but the train had been late, and he had promised Hannah in his last letter to her that he would marry her as soon as she arrived. He had hoped to allow her to clean up and give her a meal when she arrived, but because of the late hour and the coming storm, the marriage needed to happen quickly.
He still held Hannah’s hands in his own and he could feel that she was shaking. He wasn’t sure if she was trembling because of the cold chapel or because she was nervous. He concluded that it probably was a combination of both. He looked down at her, noticing her cinnamon-colored hair that curled about her face. She had high cheekbones and a dainty nose. He had not expected a woman who was so beautiful, or, he had to admit, one so young. She couldn’t have been any older than twenty. For some reason, age wasn’t something he had asked about in his letters to her.
At the reverend’s ending words of the wedding ceremony, he wondered if she would allow a kiss. He bent down and quickly placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He heard her sigh as if in relief and he frowned slightly as he recognized the look in her eyes. He had seen that look many times as he worked with horses and other animals that had been subject to man’s whims and thoughtlessness as he did his work as a blacksmith.
He wanted to say something to her, to help her relax around him, but he couldn’t think of the right words. He hoped he would be able to show her that she had no need to fear him through his actions. Maybe in time she would understand that some men keep their promises.
Chase kept her hand in his as he turned towards Reverend Brown. “Thank you for performing our ceremony.” He reached out and shook the reverend’s hand. He nodded at Mrs. Brown and Helen in a show of respect. “We should all head home before the worst of that snow storm hits us.”
Goodbyes were said as the reverend quickly put out the lamps and the small group stepped into the wind. The reverend and his family headed in the direction of their house and Chase led Hannah to their buggy and quickly helped her inside. He uncovered his horse and soon they were heading towards his home.
“We should be home in about ten minutes and then you can get warm,” Chase had to shout above the wind to be heard. “I can give you my coat if you need it.”
Hannah shook her head. “No thank you. I’m used to the cold.”
“Here. At least put these on.” He tossed her a pair of mittens. She held them as if she wasn’t sure what she should do, but then slid them over her hands. Chase inwardly sighed with relief. He knew that she was colder than she admitted.
****
Hannah felt uncomfortable when she had just sat in the buggy while Chase uncovered his horse and folded the blanket. She was used to helping when a man worked, helping her husband work. When Chase had sat down next to her and asked about her comfort, she had tried to keep the panic from rising through her chest.
When she put the mittens he had given her on, she felt the smooth gold band he had slid onto her finger. It felt cold against her skin. Jack had not provided a ring when she married him. His excuse had been that he didn’t have the money, but he always seemed to have enough coins to keep himself supplied in whiskey.
The marriage to Jack and this new marriage to Chase started out remarkably similar. She remembered how Jack had been on his best behavior until they had arrived at his farm. She wondered if the same thing would happen when she was alone with Chase in his home that he had built.
The two years she had been married to Jack had gone by slowly and she had been very unhappy. The only time she had felt contentment was when he would take off with his buddies. Sometimes he would be gone for days at a time. Hannah had learned to enjoy the time by herself even though she had to do all the farm chores.
She glanced at her new husband and promised herself she would handle this marriage differently. At least she knew that fairytales weren’t real. She no longer believed in the fiction part of romantic love.
Chase seemed kind and pleasant. So far, he treated her well, and he definitely treated his horse with care. She shook her head slightly. She had to be realistic. She had to prepare herself for silent evenings with her husband’s anger and displeasure, along with long days of hard physical work.
Night had fallen, making the nearby trees that lined the dirt road look almost frightening in the strong wind and snow. She heard a wolf howl in the distance, reminding her she was now in mountain country. Every mile they passed reminded her how quickly her life had changed. The wind was starting to blow even harder, making conversation impossible.
They finally arrived on Chase’s land and he guided the horse right up to the barn. Chase jumped down and reached for Hannah. “I will help you into the house and then I need to take care of Apache and the chores.”
Hannah shook her head. “Let me help.”
Chase seemed to hesitate and then nodded his head in agreement. He opened the barn door and gestured that she should go inside. He turned to quickly unhitch the horse.
“Apache seems glad to be home for the night,” Chase commented as he led the horse into his stall. “I’ve spoiled him.”
“Really? How can you spoil a horse?” Hannah asked with curiosity.
“Apache isn’t used to standing in the snow,” Chase explained with a grin. “He’s also always in the barn before dark. This is the latest he has ever been out since last summer.”
Hannah heard humor in his voice but tried not to smile. “Have you owned him for a long time?”
“I don’t own him. He has been in my life since the day he was born. I raised him from a colt. He is like a brother to me.”
“What do you mean, a brother?”
“Well, a horse brother.” Chase chuckled and the sound tried to reach her heart, but she again ignored it.
“When you meet someone, sometimes you just know.” Chase continued the conversation as he handed her a horse brush and then started to scoop feed into Apache's trough. “Has that ever happened to you?”
Hannah started to brush Apache, hoping she would be able to show him she knew how to care for a horse. She thought of her years with Dr. Wilson. The doctor had been kind to her and had treated h
er well, but she had not been close to him. “No. I really haven’t been close to anyone or to any animal.”
“What about your family?”
Hannah really didn’t want to have this conversation, but she might as well tell him her history.
“I don’t have a family. I was abandoned by my mother as a baby and was raised in an orphanage. When I was nine, I traveled to Texas on an orphan train and was taken in by a doctor and his unmarried daughter.”
Hannah paused as she kept brushing Apache. Would he really care about her past? Did he really want to hear about it? Jack had never asked.
“Are they still in Texas then?” Chase asked as he spread some hay on the ground of the stall.
“Dr. Wilson died two years ago. Nancy and her family are still there, but I have not had any contact with them since the doctor died.”
“I’m sorry.” Chase seemed not to know what to say.
“I lost my mother a few years ago,” Chase commented as he leaned on the pitchfork and looked at her.
“Dr. Wilson was not like a father,” she stated the fact in a flat voice. She had no idea what it would be like to lose someone close to her, but she knew it wouldn’t be like what she felt when Dr. Wilson had died and definitely not the relief she felt when Jack passed on. She didn’t know how to explain about her life with Dr. Wilson. Her physical needs were provided for, but she never received caring or love.
Hannah laid a hand on her stomach. She promised herself that she would never allow her child to feel unwanted like she had felt her entire life.
She handed the brush to Chase. “I can milk the cow.” He nodded his agreement and she quickly performed the chore. After the chores were done, Chase carried the bucket of milk and grasped Hannah’s elbow as he led her to his cabin a short distance away. He opened the door and soon they were both inside the small home. He stomped his feet to remove the snow from his boots and Hannah did the same.
Hannah looked around and was pleasantly surprised. They were in a large kitchen. She saw a strong wood table with four chairs surrounding it. There was a wood stove and Chase immediately started to feed cut logs into it. She could see a well-stocked pantry and a sink with a water pump nearby. The wood floor had been sanded smooth and there were a few braided rugs on the floor, one in front of the sink, and one near the wood stove. There was a door that opened up to a room that Hannah guessed was a living room since she could see a sofa through the doorway.