by Zoe Matthews
“It’s not much,” Chase sounded apologetic as he brushed his hands together after he shut the door to the stove. “I have an account at the general store and Mrs. Clements knows you have my permission to purchase anything you need, for the house and for yourself. I remember how my ma and my sister were always stitching something to decorate their homes.”
Hannah looked at him with interest. “You have a sister?”
“Yep, a sister and two brothers, along with four nephews."
“Do they live nearby?”
Chase stood and watched as his new bride looked carefully around the kitchen. He was glad that she was curious enough about his family to ask questions. “Yep.”
“Are they older than you?”
“All of them are younger than me. I am the oldest.” He wondered if she had expected a younger man than himself and for the first time since she had arrived, he started to question his decision. He had hoped she would instantly like him the moment he met her, that there would be some spark or recognition between them, that there would be a sign he had made the right decision.
He had made the decision to marry her impulsively and he didn’t want either of them to regret it. He looked around his plain cabin and wished that he had taken his sister up on her offer to sew a few curtains and other frills for him. He wished he had been able to build a bigger home for Hannah.
He decided to voice his thoughts. “I know you will want to decorate the place to your liking. My sister offered to help with that, but I figured you have your own way of doing things. I want you to make this your home, too.”
“I think I’d like that,” Hannah admitted as she walked to the doorway that divided the kitchen and living room. He watched her as she gazed at the comfortable flowered sofa he had ordered from a nearby city. He hoped she would enjoy sitting on it while she sewed. The rest of the furniture in both the kitchen and living area were things he and his pa had made years ago; the sturdy kitchen table and chairs, the rocking chair in the corner that his Ma had used with each of her children, and the window seat in the living room that opened up and held quite a few books. Chase was an avid reader and liked to collect good books that he would read over and over again during the long cold winters.
“There are two other rooms which are the bedrooms,” Chase gestured towards his left. “We have enough room to grow and we can add on if needed.”
Hannah blushed and looked down at her worn coat. Noticing her embarrassment, he remembered the advice his sister had given him and those words moved him to approach her. He needed to treat her well so she wouldn't regret marrying him. “Why don’t you sit by the stove and warm up.” He held his hand out to her but waited for her to come to him. “You have had a long journey and you need to rest.”
“Rest? I can’t rest. I need to make dinner.” Hannah started to walk towards the pantry to see what food there was available as she took off her coat.
“You should warm up first.” Chase took the coat from her to hang it on a peg near the front door. He noticed many patches on her dress that had been sewn on carefully. She had not exaggerated that she was in great need of a husband and home.
“I’m not the best cook,” Hannah felt the need to confess. “Although we won’t starve.”
“I am sure whatever you can cook will be fine. It will be nice to not have to eat my own cooking for a change.” He bent down to add one more piece of wood to the stove. “But you won’t need to worry about dinner tonight. My sister brought over a meal. It just needs to be warmed up.”
“That was nice of her,” Hannah commented. Chase again encouraged her to sit at the table. “You have a nice home.”
Chase grinned at her. “It’s yours now, too. Why don’t you see what the rest of the house looks like? You might as well start planning on any changes you might want to make.”
Hannah didn’t say anything. Chase walked towards the door. “I have a few more things to get done. I will be back soon. Make yourself at home.”
Chapter 3
Hannah watched Chase open the door and quickly leave the house, doing his best to keep the snow outside. Chase’s house was much nicer than she had expected. She walked towards the sofa and ran her hand along the fine upholstery. It was a nice navy blue color with colorful yellow flowers. She wouldn’t have any trouble finding shades to match. She would be able to make pillows and curtains. Chase had said he added her name to his account at the general store. Jack had refused to let her shop on her own. She was only able to purchase things they absolutely needed and even then he sometimes would refuse to pay for certain items.
Hannah was tempted to pinch herself to see if this was all a dream, a dream that could not be real. She could feel the heat radiating from the stove and hear the cheerful crackle of the wood. She saw a pair of Chase’s boots near the door, a reminder that this wasn’t a dream. Since it was real, how long would it last? What would happen after the dinner dishes were done and the fire in the stove banked? Her mouth went dry. She still had the wedding night to endure. Her heart started to beat like a trapped bird in her chest. She decided to not focus on what was to come and think of positive things.
Maybe tomorrow she could make a trip to the general store and select some fabric for curtains. She would find something cheerful and bright, something that would give her hope for the future.
****
The dinner Chase’s sister had prepared was very good. She had prepared fried chicken and mashed potatoes and green beans. However, the food seemed to sink in her stomach like rocks.
“It is good to have you here,” Chase commented as he shoveled the food into his mouth.
Hannah looked at him and only saw sincerity in his eyes. “I thought of what it would be like many times on the train ride here.” She spooned some potatoes into her mouth.
“I’m sure it is hard to wonder what you might be getting into. To be honest, I was also nervous about meeting you.”
“You were nervous?” Hannah questioned as she looked him in the eyes for the first time since she arrived.
“Yes. I had no idea what to expect.”
Relief showed on Hannah’s face as she started to relax in his presence. “Why did you answer my ad?"
“I liked what you wrote in your ad.” Chase took a bite of chicken. “There aren’t very many marriageable women around here. Pine Valley is rugged and remote, even though the railroad has come to our town. Every woman I know either married someone else or left the town to live in a bigger city.
“I have a hard time believing that no one wanted to marry you,” Hannah confessed and then found herself blushing as she realized she had voiced her thoughts out loud.
“I’m not the dashing type, in case you haven’t noticed.” Chase shrugged as he pushed away his empty plate. “I own the blacksmith shop and it is successful. I work hard and I’ll be able to provide for you.”
“I can tell you are doing well in your business.”
“One of my good friends, Alex Bridger, married his own mail-order bride. He and his brothers own a large cattle ranch a few hours away from Pine Valley. They all married mail-order brides. I thought since they were so successful, then I should give it a shot. And here you are.”
Hannah nodded. “I actually know Anna, Serena and Katrina, their wives. They lived in the same orphanage I did and we all traveled on a train to Texas where we all were placed in different homes.”
Chase looked surprised at her words. “I guess it’s a small world, right? Are you close to them? I will have to take you out there sometime to visit.”
Hannah shook her head. “They were all a few years older than me and very close to each other, like sisters. I wasn’t close to them. But I was aware of their success in finding good husbands. I was really glad when I found out from your first letter that you were from Pine Valley.”
Chase sat back in his chair in contentment. His days of being a bachelor were gone. He now had a wife who looked more beautiful every time he looked at her.
>
“Did you write other men?”
“You were the only one who answered," she admitted. "I suppose admitting I was a widow and pregnant hurt my chances, but I felt I needed to be honest.”
Chase tried not to feel disappointed at her words. He had hoped there was a spark, a connection, something special that had helped her make the decision to come here from his letter. She was admitting she was here by necessity only. He did his best to hold back his emotions and focused on her.
“You must have been disappointed when I was the only one who answered.”
“Not disappointed. Grateful. The bank had taken Jack’s farm. I had no place to live. No one would hire me.”
“It’s been two months since Jack died. How did you get by until you came here?” He jumped up and carried his empty plate to the sink. He tried not to feel anger, but it wasn’t right that she had had no one to turn to. No one to protect her. He started to fill the basin with hot water from the stove’s reservoir.
“I was able to stay at the farm for a few weeks after Jack’s funeral. Then the bank took the farm. The banker told me I had 30 days to find another home. After the 30 days went by, I pretended that I left, but I lived in the barn. The bank locked up the house, but they didn’t do anything to the barn but take the animals. I lived there until the morning I boarded the train to come here.”
Hannah hung her head as heat spread over her face, then she jumped up rapidly, scraping the chair on the floor. “I want to thank you for helping me. I am very grateful to you.”
Chase smiled slightly at her as he lifted the heavy basin onto the counter. He didn’t know how to tell her he didn’t want her gratitude. He glanced out the window that was over the sink. It was now pitch dark. He pictured her huddling in a corner of a rundown barn, with only her patched up coat for warmth. He clutched his hands into fists at the image.
Hannah saw Chase’s action and moved quickly away from the counter. She looked at him with fear in her eyes but she also tilted her chin up, almost in defiance. Hannah’s action confirmed what he had suspected about her late husband and he felt sick inside as he quickly relaxed his hands and then started to shave soap into the hot steaming water.
When Hannah saw that he had relaxed, she moved closer to him in an attempt to push him aside. “I should be washing the dishes. That is my job.” She hoped if she let him know she knew what her jobs were, he wouldn’t be angry with her. She didn’t want him to regret rescuing her.
“I can take care of the dishes tonight. Why don’t you sit down? I am sure you are exhausted.”
“I am fine. I want you to know I am not lazy.”
“That thought hasn’t even crossed my mind. I am more concerned about your condition.”
Hannah looked confused for a moment and then her faced cleared. “Oh, you mean the baby. I’m fine. I’m a good worker, just like I said in my letters.”
Chase stepped back and handed her the dishcloth. He decided to let her do this job. As she reached to take the cloth, her fingers touched his, and he felt a shock go through him that flew throughout his entire body. He could see her dark hair frame her face and again thought about how beautiful she was. He felt too big and too awkward standing next to her. But the last ten years of loneliness would be erased. Tonight he would not have to sleep alone.
“I will leave you to it, then.” He settled himself down on his fancy sofa in the living room and watched Hannah through the doorway. She made little splashing sounds as she washed the dishes. As he watched the swish of her skirts, his emotions for her felt tangled up in knots.
Tonight he would not have to sleep alone. She would lie beside him, his bride to have and to hold. He now had a chance to belong, to matter, to a woman. He hoped he would find the enduring love with her that his parents had shared.
****
When Hannah had finished washing the last dish, Chase was immediately at her side. He picked up the basin and opened the door, throwing out the dirty water into the snow.
“I will have to thank your sister for dinner,” Hannah commented as she wiped the last dish dry and set it in the cupboard
“I have already done so,” Chase put the basin back in its place. “But you will meet her soon and you can tell her if you wish.”
The room was now toasty warm from the stove. It had chased away the cold in her bones, but not the fear in her heart. She would not have remarried if it hadn’t been for her pregnancy. She never wanted to be manipulated by a man again. Nevertheless, she had committed to this new marriage, and she would do her best to be a good wife and make the best of it.
“Could you show me to my room?” she tried to ask the question nonchalantly.
“Don’t you mean our room?” Chase questioned with a raised eyebrow. “It’s the first one on the left. It’s the largest. I thought the smaller one would be good for the baby.”
She felt self-conscious as she went to open the door of the room that would be the baby’s.
“My sister gave us a crib.”
Hannah’s throat closed at the sight of the wooden crib standing against a wall. She could see the carved panels and polished oak.
“This crib is actually the one Ma used with us. Pa built it. I think you will like Pa. I took over the blacksmith shop when he retired. He is looking forward to meeting you.”
“I assume your entire family is aware of the baby.” Hannah hadn’t even considered that many people would know why she married Chase.
“Only my sister. I swore her to keep it a secret until we are ready to tell everyone else. She found out yesterday when she came over to help me clean up the house. She saw the ad you had placed by my bed.”
Hannah smiled as she stepped closer to the crib and ran her hand over the smooth worn wood. “She is very thoughtful.”
“It’s her way to let you know that she cares about you already,” Chase chuckled. “I hope meeting my family won’t be overwhelming to you since you aren’t used to a large family.”
“No, I am actually looking forward to meeting them.” She smiled, although she felt awkward with the subject of her pregnancy. “I think we need to make sure everyone knows the truth about the baby. I don’t want to hurt your reputation with gossip. I know how small towns can be. People will easily jump to conclusions that aren’t true.”
“You were a widow. There is no shame in your situation,” Chase told her firmly. “I meant what I wrote in my letters. I will treat your child as my own, just like the others that we will have.”
“Others.” Of course he will want to have more children. It was something she didn’t want to think about at the moment.
“But let’s focus on getting this baby safely here first.”
Hannah nodded her agreement. Chase placed his hand on her shoulder. She allowed him to lead her into the next room, the room she would be sharing with him. There was a large poster bed against one wall with a patchwork quilt in bright spring colors draped over it. There were two plump pillows. It was a beautiful room. There was another window seat and a matching bureau with a real mirror that hung above it.
“I am sure you will want to change all this,” Chase was saying. “My sister told me the curtains need to be replaced. My mother made the quilt, but you might want something else, and that is fine with me.”
“I like the quilt,” Hannah assured him. She saw that her bag had been set on the bureau as if waiting to be emptied.
Chase followed her gaze. “I will give you some privacy.”
Hannah watched as Chase left the room, shutting the door behind him. She started to feel dizzy until she realized she was holding her breath, and she quickly released it. She sank onto the bed and started to shake so hard, she felt sick. She could hear Chase’s boots as he walked away from the room. She heard the door of the wood stove open and then close as he banked the fire for the night. She knew she wouldn’t have much time to change out of her patched dress, and so she quickly removed the gray dress and put on her nightgown, which had just as
many patches. She washed her face at the basin on the bureau and then let her dark hair down from the pins and started to brush it. She could see her face in the mirror and noticed that she looked thin and pale. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.
“Come in,” she called, hoping she was able to keep the tremor out of her voice. She quickly pulled the quilt back on the bed and jumped in, making sure she was covered up to her chin. She tried not to think of what was about to come.
Chase opened the door, came into the bedroom, he turned down the lamp that sat on a small table near the bed. Hannah could hear him pull off a boot. He dropped it on the floor and then the other one followed. Soon she felt the bed dip and he joined her under the covers. She thought of the cold nights when she had been so hungry, she couldn’t sleep. At least she was warm and had eaten a good meal.
“Morning comes early,” Chase said softly in the darkness. “I need to leave at six.”
“I will make sure breakfast is ready before you leave,” Hannah hurried to assure him.
“Hannah, you are shaking the entire bed,” Chase said with a gentle voice. “I don’t think it is good for the baby or for you to be this upset.”
She felt him gently brush a lock of her hair from her face. “I am going to make a lucky guess that your first husband wasn’t gentle with you.”
“No.” It was all Hannah could say. She turned her face to look at him and could see the line of his jaw faintly in the darkness.
“Can you tell me what the first night of marriage to him was like?”
“He was a stranger, too.” Suddenly, she wanted to tell him about her first marriage. Maybe he would understand why she was so nervous. “I answered an ad from him.”