High Country Christmas

by Joanna Sims

“It sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

  “Of course. It’s my body. My responsibility.”

  “And you’ve got it all figured out—”

  “I didn’t say that—”

  Tyler stared at her hard. “—for the both of us.”

  London didn’t answer. She could see by the tension in his jawline and the fire in his eyes that he wasn’t done.

  “We could have a life here together. I can’t be imagining what I feel when we’re together. I know you feel it, too, London. I see it in your eyes. But you won’t marry me...?”

  The question hung in the air between them. When she remained silent, he asked her bluntly. Pointedly. “What’s in Virginia, London? If it’s not a man...then what is it?”

  “My son.” London replied. “My son lives in Virginia.”

  Tyler’s finger, which had been making that same circle again and again, stopped. He looked up at the ceiling in thought, shook his head and then brought his eyes back to hers.

  “You have a son.”

  “Yes.” Her chin lifted. “I do.”

  Her twelve-year old son was living with her mom and stepdad while she earned her degree. Her scholarship had taken her so far away from him; she needed to get back to her son.

  “You’re not with the father.” Tyler stated, but there was a question mark hanging on his words.

  “No...”

  “But...there is a custody agreement.” Tyler started to fill in the blanks.

  “That’s right.” London said. “Now you understand why Virginia is a nonnegotiable.”

  “I was raised to believe that everything is negotiable,” he replied thoughtfully.

  Tyler had wanted the truth and he had gotten it. He just didn’t know what to do with it. He was certain that he would find out why she had chosen to keep her son a secret in due time. For now, he needed to concentrate on what was directly in front of him: London and his unborn child. So he stood up and held his hand out to London.

  “What?” she asked him. Her arms were still crossed and she still had a defiant, frustrated look on her face.

  “Come here.” He extended his hand farther.

  It took her a couple of minutes, but she did take his hand. She stood up, stiff and defensive. Tyler hugged her. It was the only thing that he could think to do at the moment. He had two younger sisters and a sister-in-law whom he adored, and all he could think of was protecting London. Yes, she was a strong, determined woman. But even the strongest woman needed an ally when the going got tough. Tyler rested his chin on top of London’s head. He kept on hugging her until he felt her relax in his arms.

  “Let’s just take this one day at a time,” he suggested. Eventually, the right path would reveal itself in time. He believed that.

  At the door, Tyler paused. He turned around to look at her. “What’s your son’s name?”

  Surprised, London smiled a small smile. “J.T....”

  “J.T....” Tyler said as if he were trying it on for size as he opened the door. “Good night, London.”

  “Good night.”

  She was still staring at the closed door, a bit dazed, when the video chat feature on her phone started to ring. As if he had sensed that she was talking about him, her son, J.T., was calling for their daily talk.

  She quickly put a smile on her face before she answered.

  “Mom! Look...” J.T. grinned at her.

  “You got your braces!” London’s stomach tightened. Another milestone missed.

  “How do they feel?” she asked as she soaked in the welcome sight of her son’s cute face.

  “They hurt.”

  “I remember...” She had had a horrible overbite growing up and her family hadn’t had the money for braces until she was a senior in high school.

  Before they could continue about the braces, she heard her mom in the background. “What’s Gram yelling about now?”

  “The kitchen...” J.T. glanced over his shoulder. “I was supposed to do the dishes...”

  “You’d better go, then. But call me later so we can talk more.”

  “She’s always mad.” J.T. frowned with a glance over his shoulder at the stairs leading from the basement up to the rest of the ranch-style house.

  “That’s just Gram. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. Call me later,” she reminded him again. “I love you... I miss you every day.”

  “I miss you, too.” The expression in J.T.’s brown eyes was somber. “We’re still gonna get our own place as soon as you get back, right?”

  How many promises had she already broken in his young life? Enough that she could see the skepticism in his face when she replied, “I promise.”

  * * *

  They had agreed to keep the pregnancy a secret until the end of the first trimester. It made sense, to both of them, that there was zero payoff for getting everyone stirred up if the pregnancy ended naturally during the least stable trimester. But they had also agreed that once London reached the second trimester, the secret needed to be revealed to both of their families.

  “Will your parents be happy?” Tyler asked her.

  He was driving her in to Helena for her first doctor’s appointment. London had been pensive and quiet for most of the trip. All of his attempts to get a conversation started had failed.

  “My mom is a glass-half-empty kind of person, so doubtful. But my stepdad will be, I think. Maybe.”

  “And J.T.? What will he think?”

  London lifted one shoulder. “I’m not sure, really. He’s been my only child for twelve years. My ex has two boys with his wife, so J.T. already has two younger half brothers.”

  She looked out the window, past the pastures in the foreground, to the mountains. “My dad? I know exactly how he’ll feel...”

  Angry. Disappointed. Exactly how he felt the last time I got pregnant.

  She had been in her freshman year, on a full basketball scholarship, when she had gotten pregnant. Her father had insisted that she get an abortion, keep her scholarship and get that degree. When she didn’t do as he wished, when she lost her scholarship and had to drop out of college to raise her son, her relationship with her father had never been the same.

  Did she regret having to drop out of school? Yes. Did she regret having her son? No. Not for one second of one day. But the irony of her situation didn’t escape her. Once again, she was going to be a big fat disappointment to the one man whose approval had always mattered the most. After years of fighting her way back into school—after working so hard to earn another scholarship, get back on track and repair her relationship with her father—she had managed to get herself right back into the same mess. She was pregnant again.

  “What about your parents?” she asked to take her mind off her own family.

  “They love grandkids,” he said. “But they’re old-fashioned.”

  His mother was going to expect an engagement and his father was going to be livid. Impregnating an intern? Hank Brand was going to hit the roof.

  Tyler glanced over at London. He reached for her hand. “It doesn’t matter to me how anyone feels. I’m happy about it.”

  The smile she gave him was halfhearted. He let go of her hand and she immediately pulled it back. If he needed reassurance from her, he wasn’t going to get it. In that moment, he was acutely aware of the fact that he could lose London and the child she was carrying. He had lost his grandparents and his brother Daniel. That was enough. He had to figure out a way to make a life in Montana, at Bent Tree Ranch, work for London. And the only way to do that was to make Montana work for her son.

  “Here we are.” Tyler pulled into the parking lot.

  It was a risk for him to come with her. They could be spotted and their secret blown. But he wanted to be a part of the p
regnancy. It wasn’t how he’d planned to feel. He just did.

  * * *

  London filled out the thick stack of new patient paperwork while Tyler paid the insurance copay.

  “Whatever insurance doesn’t cover, I’ll pay.” Tyler sat down in the chair next to her.

  London couldn’t believe how much relief and comfort his simple statement had brought her. J.T.’s father, her high school sweetheart, had been a basketball player on a full scholarship as well. He had a shot at eventually playing pro ball, and neither of them had wanted him to miss his chance. Jon had been involved with the pregnancy from a distance and they had stayed together until J.T. was three years old.

  “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

  When the nurse called her back, London asked, “Do you want to come?”

  “Is it okay?” Tyler leaned forward to get up. “Are you sure?”

  Tyler shifted in his seat, crossed and uncrossed his legs, and fidgeted with his hat. He’d never been in an examination room with a woman before. He’d never actually seen this kind of stirrup until today, and he felt as if he could have gone his whole life without being exposed to them.

  When the nurse came in to take London’s history, the questions were so intimate that Tyler ducked out of the room. He waited for the nurse to leave and then he stepped back into the examination room to wait for the doctor with London.

  “You didn’t have to leave.” London was sitting on the examination table in a gown.

  “I wanted to give you a little privacy.”

  “Trust me. All sense of privacy goes out the window during an ob-gyn visit. The worst is yet to come.” London raised her eyebrows questioningly. “Are you sure you can stomach it?”

  “I’m a rancher.” Tyler took his place next to the examination table.

  A quick knock on the door ended their conversation. The first part of the doctor’s exam was easy enough to handle, but when the stirrups came out, Tyler found himself looking everywhere in the room other than where the doctor was conducting the internal exam. On the opposite wall, directly in his line of sight, was a poster featuring a giant vagina with anatomical labels. He started to read all of the labels to give his eyes something to do, but then he realized that he probably shouldn’t be staring at the giant vagina.

  He shifted his eyes away from the informative poster and ended up staring directly into London’s eyes. She had been watching him and had caught him staring at the poster. The smile on her face and the laughter that he saw in her pretty aquamarine eyes made him smile in return. That brief moment they shared relaxed him a little. But he didn’t completely relax until the doctor guided London’s feet out of the stirrups and told her that she could get dressed.

  When they walked out of the office together and headed to the imaging building next door, Tyler felt as if he was walking next to a woman he had known for years instead of just months. If felt as though they were a genuine couple. And it made him feel proud.

  “The look on your face during the exam...priceless,” London said while they waited their turn. “You seemed to be pretty fascinated with the artwork.”

  Tyler knew that the artwork she was referring to was the giant vagina he had been studying. There was a humorous gleam in London’s eyes, so he knew she was teasing him. He leaned closer to her and lowered his voice so only she could hear him.

  “If you want me to label yours later, I can.”

  Instead of being offended, London laughed and smacked him playfully on the leg. “Shh.”

  During her first pregnancy, she had attended her appointments alone. It was strange to have Tyler with her, wanting to be involved in every aspect of this pregnancy. She had let him join her in the room, even though it would be potentially uncomfortable and embarrassing, because she believed that he did have a right as the father of the child. And surprisingly, she hadn’t minded him being in the room. In fact, watching him had made her smile. His discomfort had been a little bit of comic relief.

  “Ready for round two?” London asked him when her name was called.

  “I’m with you.” Tyler stood up.

  They were led back to another examination room with another examination table. This time, a technician arrived to perform the ultrasound. London was undressed from the waist down again, with a sheet made out of paper over her lap.

  London lay back, her feet in the stirrups, her knees apart beneath the crinkly paper sheet. When the technician began to position the wand for the intravaginal ultrasound, London closed her eyes.

  “Just relax...” the technician said encouragingly.

  Tyler reached for London’s hand, and he was surprised when she didn’t reject the comfort.

  After a second or two, the technician began to explain what was appearing on the screen. London opened her eyes to stare hard at the monitor.

  “Is there a heartbeat?” London asked nervously. “I don’t see a heartbeat.”

  The technician moved the ultrasound wand around and then stopped.

  “Right there...there’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

  There on the monitor a black steady blip appeared in the grainy gray picture. His baby. He didn’t want to take his eyes off it. And he couldn’t have known how he would feel once he saw the heartbeat of his first child. Something shifted inside him and he knew that he was forever changed.

  “Do you want to keep these as a souvenir?” London handed him the pictures as they left the imaging center.

  Tyler took the pictures and examined them closely. His child might look like nothing more than a tiny black dot. But he or she was real.

  “What’s that expression for?” London asked him with a curious little laugh.

  “I want our child, London.”

  She nodded her head. “I know you do.”

  “No...” he told her. “I don’t think you do. I really want this child, London.”

  Chapter Six

  The morning after his sister Jordan’s wedding, while the rest of his family was occupied with the nuptial aftermath, the main issue on Tyler’s mind was discussing the next step with London. According to the calendar, this was the day they officially entered the second trimester of the pregnancy.

  He had thought they had experienced a breakthrough of sorts when she allowed him to accompany her into the examination room during her first doctor’s appointment. But, if anything, their relationship had regressed. London had put that wall back up to keep him at arm’s length. He understood that she was determined to go about her business and stick to her plan of returning to Virginia after graduating in the fall as if she wasn’t pregnant with his child. Now that they had finally reached the second trimester, however, ignoring the pregnancy was no longer an option for them.

  Tyler pulled on a plain white undershirt and opened his bedroom door. At the same time, his younger sister Josephine, Jordan’s twin, was coming through his front door. They met in the kitchen and Tyler poured a cup of coffee for himself. Josephine and Logan, the best man, had started a summer romance at the ranch, and everyone in the family approved of the match. So he wasn’t surprised when Josephine looked down the hall in the direction of his guest room, where Logan had been bunking.

  “If you’re looking for Logan, he’s up at the chapel.” He took a sip of the hot black coffee.

  Josephine had grown into a beautiful, statuesque woman with long blondish-brown hair and a pretty golden hue to her skin. But today she looked pale and tired and worried.

  “His bags are packed,” Josephine said, looking at the bags stacked in the hall.

  “He said he was taking off later today,” Tyler told her. “Coffee?”

  Josephine shook her head. “Did he tell you where he was going?”

  “He didn’t tell you he was leaving?” That surprised him. He had assumed that Josephin
e was the first person Logan told.

  His little sister sat down on the saddle bench at his kitchen counter. Now he was beginning to understand why she looked so worried.

  “I really screwed up with him, Tyler,” she admitted.

  “I doubt it’s anything fatal. I think he’s a really good guy. I’d go talk to him if I were you.” He gave his sister the same advice he knew he needed to apply to London—he needed to really sit down and talk with her.

  “Yeah...” Josephine slid off the bench. “I guess I will.”

  Josephine gave him a quick hug and then headed toward the door. She surprised him by making a U-turn and returning to the kitchen.

  “I’ve been so caught up with my own drama that I almost forgot to ask you...” his sister said pointedly, “what exactly did you do to her?”

  Tyler put his coffee cup down on the counter. “Whom are you talking about?”

  “London. She looked like she was crying the other day...”

  “She was?” Tyler was caught off guard by her comment. “Did she tell you why?”

  “No...but I do know you’re involved with her, Tyler. Don’t ask me how I know—I just do, okay? So, what did you do?”

  Tyler looked away from her, shook his head in thought before he turned his face back toward his sister.

  “She’s pregnant.”

  “Oh...” Josephine stared at him, shocked. “Tyler...that’s not good.”

  Tyler’s face took on a stony appearance. “London would agree with you on that point.”

  “And you don’t?” she asked him.

  “No. Actually, I don’t.” Tyler dumped the rest of his coffee into the sink. “I’m in love with her, Jo. I want to marry her and raise our child here on the ranch. But until we’ve figured this out, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep it to yourself.”

  Josephine hugged him again and promised to keep the secret.

  “I’m having a hard enough time trying to fix my own life,” she said. “Trust me...I don’t think I’m in a good position to give relationship advice.”

  Tyler quickly pulled on his boots, shrugged into a button-down shirt and grabbed his hat. He went out the front door and walked purposefully toward the foaling barn. He was surprised to discover that London wasn’t there. She was always there at this time of the morning. She was a punctual person who always stuck to her schedule. Concerned, he went to look for her in the main barn. He knocked on the door of her apartment. When she didn’t answer his second knock, he had a sick feeling in his gut. He opened the door and entered.