Restraint

by Alyssa Clark

  I made it out to my car before I considered the last time I ate. Should I bring food with me? I didn’t even know what she would like. I barely knew her. Not that I cared, if this was her meeting me halfway I had the opportunity to find out all that I wanted about her. I could learn what she liked to eat, see what she was beneath the flawless makeup she kept on her face. Find out what else there was behind the commanding voice and that sexy smile.

  It made me all the more eager to see her.

  I programmed the address into my phone and followed the directions carefully. It brought me to a little brownstone in midtown that looked as if it would be a large house if it weren’t split up into apartments. I parked about a block from it, taking the time to walk up the stoop to try to gather what the neighborhood was like.

  It was quiet, off a major street. There was a button for the apartment I assumed was hers, two A. I hit it and waited for something to happen. There was a loud buzz and then the distinct sound of a lock shifting. I went into to see a neatly kept lobby; there was a row of mailboxes and a staircase.

  I found her door on the second floor. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I had to wait before knocking. I didn’t know how this would go. I didn’t know if this would be just another bout of casual sex that I’d hate myself for agreeing to or if she wanted more. I didn’t know what I meant by more, what it included or involved. Just that I wanted it.

  I knocked lightly, and my roaring nerves seemed to calm at the sound. The hallway between apartments was quiet, the silence was becoming deafening to the point I reached forward to knock on her door again. Just to create noise.

  Did I get the address wrong?

  I took a moment to thumb up the message thread to compare it to my map app. I had gotten it right. Should I knock again? Why would she send me here if she wasn’t here?

  I heard the metallic click of locks shifting, and I looked up. The door opened a crack so that I could see who was behind it. My breath caught in my throat, any chance of looking cool or nonchalant was gone.

  Angela stood at the door damp, a purple towel was wrapped around her exposing the expanse of her shoulders and upper chest. Her face was bare of any product, and her hair was wet, hanging limply around her shoulders.

  I thought she was gorgeous before. Now I was so struck by her I couldn’t speak.

  “I didn’t expect you to come right over,” she looked sheepish. She took a step back and motioned me in, “Give me a minute to at least get dressed.” There wasn’t a sign of the dominant woman I’ve dealt with, and I was mesmerized by what I saw. She didn't give me any time to appreciate her, she left me in the doorway.

  I came into her apartment without a word, noting just how small it was. There was a small kitchenette off to the left when I walked in the door and living room just off of it. There was a door that was ajar that I assumed was a bedroom. She had her apartment decorated sparsely, there was a loveseat that took up the majority of the living room as well as a bookshelf that was dedicated to… to shoes?

  “That’s quite the collection,” I said in an attempt to ‘break the ice.’ I wasn’t sure how else to talk to her, I didn’t know this side of her. I didn’t know her at all. It felt awkward seeing intimate little details after I had already seen her naked, after I’d already fucked her.

  This was what I wanted, I just didn’t expect there to be a vast difference.

  “The shoes explain the tiny apartment,” she stepped into the living room, wearing a shirt and leggings. It didn’t do anything to hide the shape of her form. She didn’t bother with applying makeup, and her hair was still wet. Still beautiful. She looked obviously uncomfortable as she stood there, “It’s a fetish or an addiction depending on who you ask.”

  “You are into quite a few different things, I see,” I went to the loveseat and sat. “So,” I eyed her as I tried to figure out where to go with this. “You wanted to see me?”

  She flushed and looked down at the tan carpeting, I could see she felt just as uncomfortable as I did. The makeup must hide so much, not that I didn’t appreciate it. I could see her collecting her thoughts, and there was nothing covering the flush that was across her cheeks. “I want you,” she said evenly. “The first time wasn’t enough, even the second time.” She bit her lip, drawing my attention down to them. “You want more.”

  She paused to take a breath, clearly stalling. I had to interrupt, “You’re like a magnet. I feel this pull to you. I thought it was just because you were telling me I couldn’t have something I wanted. When you said you wouldn’t fuck me, I think that was part of the reason I came back to you. But that first night wasn’t enough,” I agreed with her. “It didn’t take away the pull, even when I was so pissed that you had walked out while I was sleeping.”

  “I’m sorry,” it sounded meek, something I wouldn’t have associated with her. It didn’t change my opinion on her at all, I appreciated it. “I see how you felt,” she rubbed her arm as she spoke. “I don’t remember how to do normal. I’ve spent the last year putting all my focus on my clients that I hadn’t considered myself until you came along.”

  “Why?” not that I was selfish, but I couldn’t understand putting others over oneself for so long.

  “Because I was enjoying what I was doing, I still enjoy what I do,” she met my gaze. “If you’re wanting a relationship with me, you have to understand that is how I make my living. I will not stop doing it just to appease you. I won’t change that part of myself,” there was an authority in her voice.

  I stood and closed the distance between us, “You don’t have the same kind of attraction with your other clients as you did with me. Right?” I had lowered my voice because, like the pull I felt towards her, I felt the need to evoke the feelings she created in me in her.

  She laughed a little, “I have been so protective of my rule of no sex with the client I feel like I’ve betrayed myself by giving in to you.” Her expression sobered. “I don’t know how to give you what you want.”

  “Why did you text me then?” I wasn’t hurt by her words, I said mine lowly because of the proximity to her.

  “Because,” her breath hitched a little, “you reminded me that I need to think about me, too.”

  “Are you willing to try to figure this out together?” It was a legitimate question, while I wanted nothing more than explore what I could with her it only mattered if she was willing to meet me halfway.

  She took a step forward, “If I promise to not walk away, not leave you while you’re sleeping… will you promise not to, too?”

  I hummed my agreement and met her the rest of the way. This kiss didn’t compare to the others we had shared. It was slow, hesitant, like we hadn’t had sex before. It was gentle, and there was no struggle for control, it was tentative tasting. A light give and take that deepened as that magnetic pull she had drawn me closer.

  She reached forward to touch me, her hands parting my suit jacket to rest on my hips. I prepared myself for her to stop the momentum because even with the way our kisses had started out they were going in the direction that would fuel hunger.

  It had been weeks since we last been together and my body was all too aware of it. I was hard like an afterthought, and I pressed in close to her just so she could feel what she did to me. It accelerated from there. Her hands left my hips to wrap around my waist, and I felt affection through the lust.

  “We can make this work,” I murmured against her mouth. “Want something hard enough, and it will work.”

  “What do you want?” She pulled away far enough for me to get caught up in her big blue eyes.

  “To keep you,” I said without hesitation.

  Her eyes widened a fraction, and I felt her relax in increments. Her lips curled up a fraction as she seemed to mull over that idea, “Are you willing to experiment? Do something other than be Vanilla?”

  It sounded like a challenge. “I don’t mind experimenting,” I said without thinking, but I was quick to reconsider. It took me a
split second to stop thinking with my heart and my dick. “But you’re not putting anything in my ass.”

  That bottom lip came out in a pout, and she tugged me into her bedroom, “Had to ruin the moment with that, didn’t you?”

  I let her lead me to her bed, considering that lip and how it’d feel to bite it. “Where you are concerned it feels like it needs to be mentioned,” she kissed me, and I was sure it was a means to silence me, though I was treated to a snort of laughter.

  It wasn’t long before we got lost in one another, she tugged the button down up out of my slacks, and I felt her fingers skim over my skin. “Is this what you really contacted me for?” I asked when I pulled back for a breath.

  “I texted you,” she pushed my jacket off my shoulders and had my tie overhead, “because I wanted to see you. Because if I keep up the way I’m going without giving into the things that I want then the loneliness will probably swallow me whole.”

  It was understandable, so I decided to slow down. I let her undress me at her pace, but I didn’t press her to undress. It seemed natural. Letting her decide the pace, as long as we were together after and we figured out a dynamic that we both could agree on I would be happy.

  She worked my shirt open steadily without any doubt. The brush of her fingers on my skin seemed to excite me more. She had my shirt off me when she tugged away from my mouth, she went down, following the line of my neck to my collar bone. Her teeth scraped against my skin and my breath caught in my throat, the feelings she seemed to masterfully invoke were heady. I tilted my head back so I wouldn’t be a hindrance with how she seemed to explore and taste my skin.

  She went from my collar down the line between my pecs, the muscles twitched uncontrollably, and I held my breath as she continued down. She knelt in front of me as her skilled tongue swirled down the length of my stomach. The last time she had sucked me off I had came so hard that I hadn’t been able to get it up again for a day. I stopped her when she got to work on my belt, “Don’t.” I could see the need flare to life in her eyes, there wasn’t question in her eyes. There was a look that told me I better have a good reason for telling her no. “We came this far,” I started. “You’re not going to make this so that we’re not going to both enjoy ourselves.”

  Her lips twisted up and she continued with her mission to get into my pants, “You want to fuck me?”

  More than anything, but, “I’ve already fucked you twice.” I shrugged my shoulders a little at the surprised look on her face, “At this point, I don’t want to just fuck you. I thought we were clear on that.” I leaned down and pulled her to her feet, “I want more.”

  Realization flickered across her face, and I watched it soften, she caught my lips in a kiss. I was overwhelmed with her sweetness, and I didn’t resist as she pulled me onto her bed. We got comfortable laying against one another, kissing and exploring each other. I took pleasure in just touching her without a rush, cupping a breast and finding that she didn’t have a bra on. I hooked her thigh over my hip and rolled my hips against hers.

  She went back to work on my pants with no sense of urgency when she touched my cock she wasn’t striving to get me off. It felt like she was testing what would pull noises from me. It didn’t take much stroking before I was groaning against her mouth. It was enough to make me want to return the favor.

  I slid my hands into the back of her leggings, cupping the curve of her ass. I reached until I could feel her wetness. She was soaked and it thrilled me. I played with her as far as I could reach from behind. I could only get the first few digits into her, and there was no way of reaching her clit. But she moved against my hand encouragingly, so I figured I was at least entertaining her. I kept at it until she made a mewl against my lips and pulled away.

  She wasn’t making any attempt stop me, but she shifted away enough so she could pull her shirt off. I unapologetically became distracted with her bare breasts. They were two things I wasn’t going to be able to ignore now that I could see them as I touched them. I cupped one with my free hand, palming up the nipple until I felt it tighten. I wanted more, this petting wasn’t enough.

  So I went south, I kissed my way down from her mouth. It took some shifting, but I managed to maneuver my way down far enough to where I could drag my tongue and teeth against her skin until I found her other nipple. I tugged it into my mouth, and I felt her shudder, while at the hotel and her office she made noise without restraint. Now it seemed like all I was getting was sighs and soft noises. Her fingers cut through my hair, and there was a slight amount of pressure that prompted me to her other breasts. I went where she directed without protest, licking a path along the way.

  I had to adjust my hands, taking liberties by tugging her pants down just far enough so I could have better access to her. That done I was able to find and toy with her clit, wanting to draw more noise from her. Her back arched and she parted her thighs, breathing out a noise that made me all the more hungry for her. Even with the clothing we’d both taken off it seemed like there was still too much clothing in the way.

  I tugged her pants the rest of the way down and out of the way, she didn’t protest if anything she felt just as eager as I was. My slacks were shoved down, and we pressed together, our mouths connecting once again. I managed all of this while we were still on our sides, it seemed like it would keep us on an even playing field and there’d be no struggles.

  I pulled her leg over my hip, and I was close to right where I wanted to be. Until she spoke up, “Condom!” It came out as a gasp that brought me to a screeching halt. I felt the damp heat of her cunt against my cock, and I was about to thrust into her blindly without thinking. “Please God,” she hadn’t pulled away. “Tell me you have one.”

  She sounded just as desperate as I felt. I fought hard to think. I didn’t have any in my wallet, I hadn’t been seeing anyone before her and I hadn’t thought to go that far ahead now. I fell backward with a groan, “No.”

  “Fuck,” she growled as she kicked her pants the rest of the way off. I watched as she irritatedly crawled off the bed and began to search her bedroom. “I don’t bring men home,” she explained as she went into a closed door that proved to be a bathroom. “So I don’t readily keep them around.” My gut twisted, I could see where this was going. I sat up so I could get dressed, there didn’t seem to be a reason to tempt fate.

  “It’s okay,” I had my boxers up and I was working on getting my pants up the rest of the way. “Another time, maybe?” Maybe an actual date could be involved, I could get a better handle on her personality and see just how we could fit together.

  I glanced up at her to see indecision on her face, I paused in getting dressed and waited as she glared at me. “Your pull out game,” she said in the tone of voice she used during our previous moments. “Better be good.”

  “What?”

  “Take your pants off,” she said in a firm voice.

  “You like to tempt fate?” I didn’t bother to do as she demanded, “I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to pull out. In the heat of the moment, I’ll be caught up in you.”

  Her features softened, and she seemed to reconsider. She stepped to me slowly so I had an eye full of her fine curves. My mouth went dry, and I knew for a fact that if I got to slide into her there would be no pulling me from between those thighs. “I tempt fate every time I’m with you,” her voice was a low purr that just made things worse. “I’m tired of tempting fate, it's time to steer it and take what I want,” her words made my heart race, and I didn’t do anything to stop her as she climbed onto my lap and caught my lips in a hungry kiss.

  There were no thoughts of consequences. No further question of being careful. I felt her find my fly and shoved my slacks and boxers down far enough for her to get a handle on my cock. She got a pump in before I groaned, we had played a little too much, and it was another telling factor that I wouldn’t have the wherewithal to pull out. I stayed still as I felt the damp heat around the head of my cock, I should talk her out
of this. There was too much that could go wrong, but arguments died when she started to lower herself down onto me.

  Going in raw wasn’t something I had tested often, the consequences were too much to toy with, and I had too much at stake that I wasn’t willing to allow that kind of mistake to happen. But here I was, willingly giving into her impatience and groaning as she sank down onto me. I couldn’t keep from wrapping my arms around her, there was nothing holding me back. I could touch her and hold onto her, that was something I wanted more than anything.

  It became apparent the need was mutual when she was fully seated on me. Her hands went into my hair, and she moved slowly like she was savoring the feel of me just as much as I was. There didn’t appear to be any rush like the connection was just as important as the happy ending. It was a slow shift and curl of hips that I added to while I enjoyed the taste of her mouth.