If the Shoes Fit

by Pauline Lawless

  Drunk as she was, Val was shocked to hear Niamh curse. Niamh never cursed.

  “Uh, oh, naughty, naughty,” Val needled her. “Miss Perfect isn’t so perfect after all!”

  “For your information, I’m Mrs, not Miss,” Niamh shot back at her.

  “Sure,” Val hiccupped. “Pity your husband can’t remember that,” she added, smirking.

  Niamh froze. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her voice quivering.

  “What do you think delayed me this evening?” Val slurred. “I was paying your husband a little visit. Some lover boy you have there. Boy, is he ever good in bed!” She laughed, enjoying the look on Niamh’s shocked face.

  Niamh was frozen to the spot. Standing close to Val, about to strike her, it hit her like a ton of bricks. That perfume . . . of course . . . it was Val’s favourite, Allure. She could smell it now. It made her feel sick. And that lipstick . . . she was staring at it now. Val wasn’t lying. Gavin had been screwing her own sister. Niamh thought she was going to throw up. She felt as if all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She ran from the room and out the door, her tears blinding her.

  That was why she never saw the car coming. She was tossed like a rag doll high in the air. The screech of brakes was the last thing she remembered.

  Val was finishing her drink when someone came running into the bar.

  “Is there a doctor here?” he yelled. “There’s been a terrible accident outside.”

  “I’m a doctor,” said one man, running out.

  Everyone followed him and Val joined them, weaving from side to side. Niamh should have the taxi by now, she thought, looking around, realising that she was very drunk. The sight that met her eyes sobered her up pretty quickly. Niamh was lying motionless on the ground, a pool of blood around her head and her body twisted in a strange way. There was bedlam everywhere.

  “Keep back, keep back!” someone was yelling.

  “I can feel a pulse, she’s still alive!” called the doctor who was ministering to her. “Give her some air, for God’s sake!”

  “She ran straight out in front of me, honestly,” cried the driver of the car. “I just didn’t see her, she ran straight out without looking. I swerved to avoid her. Will she be okay?” He was shaking and in shock.

  “Here’s her handbag,” someone else called out.

  Val was rooted to the spot. She thought she was going to faint. Oh my God! It’s all my fault. I’ve killed her. She let out a scream.

  Running forward, kneeling down by the inert body, she cried out, “Niamh! Niamh! Open your eyes! Please talk to me! I’m sorry, none of it’s true! Niamh, please forgive me!” she sobbed.

  “You know this girl?” the doctor asked.

  “She’s my sister,” Val replied, her face streaked with tears and mascara.

  The ambulance arrived just then, blue light flashing and siren wailing, followed by two police cars, sirens and lights also going.

  Tessa and Amber, getting ready for bed on the fourth floor of the hotel, heard the din. Tessa peeked out the window, checking that it wasn’t a fire engine.

  “No, it’s an ambulance. Must be an accident,” she told Amber.

  “Poor soul,” Amber replied. “I hope they’re okay. Lousy timing – Christmas week.”

  “Probably someone drunk,” Tessa replied, turning out the light.

  “Goodnight.”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  Eileen was watching Tubridy on the telly when she got the phone call. At first she couldn’t make out who it was or what they were saying. Then all her worst nightmares came to life.

  “Mam, Mam, it’s Niamh!” Val was sobbing. “She’s had an accident.”

  Eileen felt her heart stop. “What kind of accident? Is she badly injured?”

  “I don’t know. She’s not moving,” Val gulped. “A car knocked her down.”

  “Oh, dear sweet Jesus,” Eileen cried. “Where is she now?” She had grabbed her coat and was already on her way out the door.

  “I’m in the ambulance with her, on our way to St James’s Hospital. Hold on . . . oh . . . the doctor says that she’s breathing okay.”

  Eileen heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God she’s alive.” She was running now towards Niamh’s house.

  “It’s all my fault, Mam,” she heard Val say. “I’m so sorry.”

  How could it be her fault? Eileen wondered, hammering on Niamh’s door.

  Gavin opened it, wondering what the rumpus was.

  “Niamh’s been knocked down by a car but she’s alive,” Eileen managed to get out, her breath coming fast. “She’s on her way to St James’s. I’ll get Johnny from next door to drive us and Sissy will stay with the children. Come on, hurry!” She ran next door.

  Gavin was in shock. What had Eileen said? This couldn’t be happening. Not to his Niamh. His heart was hammering as he checked on the kids and thanked Sissy for taking over.

  Gav remembered nothing of the drive to the hospital. He sat, head bowed, clutching Eileen’s hand.

  “What will I do if anything happens to her?” he said, anguish in his eyes. “I couldn’t live without her.”

  “Shush,” she reassured him. “She’s still alive and you know what a fighter she is. She’ll pull through.” She prayed that this would be the case. She was praying like she’d never prayed before.

  “Oh, Niamh, Niamh, my poor baby!” Gavin cried over and over again.

  They dashed into the A & E department of the hospital, barely noticing the bedlam that reigned there. They saw Val coming towards them, her face streaked with mascara and eye-shadow.

  She burst out crying when she saw them.

  “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!” she bawled.

  “Where is she?” he asked, shaking Val to stop her gabbling. “Is she okay?” His eyes were wild.

  “They’re examining her now,” Val told him, in between her sobs.

  “I have to see her,” he said. He ran to the reception desk. “My wife, where is she? She’s been in an accident. I have to see her.”

  “Her name?” the nurse asked kindly.

  “Niamh. Niamh Byrne,” he replied, wringing his hands.

  Eileen put her arms around him as the nurse made a phone call. “They’ve finished examining her and she’s going into theatre shortly but you can have a moment with her. Come this way.” She felt sorry for the handsome young man who was obviously distraught. His wife had not been a pretty sight when she’d been admitted. The nurse hoped he would be up to the shock.

  Eileen followed her too. She had to see her baby and comfort her. The nurse led them to a waiting room and a doctor came out to greet them.

  “Mr Byrne?”

  Gavin nodded numbly.

  “Your wife has had a very lucky escape. She took quite a knock and she’s unconscious but she’s alive and holding her own. We’ll do a CT scan to be sure there’s no brain injury. Our main concern is to ensure that she is not bleeding internally.”

  Gavin nodded numbly, trying to grasp all of this.

  “But don’t worry,” the doctor assured them. “She’s in good hands and she seems like a fighter.”

  “Oh she is, doctor,” Eileen said, tears in her eyes.

  “I take it you’re her mother,” the doctor smiled. “I can see the resemblance.”

  He brought them into a room where a nurse gave them gowns and masks and plastic shoes and made them wash their hands with antiseptic. She then brought them into a very bright room with green-clad figures milling around. There were machines and instruments everywhere but Gavin had eyes only for the tiny still figure lying on the stretcher. She had an oxygen mask over her face and numerous tubes going into her body. She looked so pale and fragile that Gavin started to sob.

  “Niamh, babe, it’s going to be okay. I’m here now,” he said, taking her tiny lifeless hand. He could hear the bleep-bleep of the heart monitor. Only for that, he would have thought she was dead. Her hair was all matted with blood but he thought sh
e still looked beautiful. Like a physical blow it hit him just how much he loved her.

  Eileen took her daughter’s hand and whispered “St Jude will take care of you, sweetheart. I love you.”

  “Time now, I’m afraid,” the doctor said.

  Gavin touched her hair. “I’ll love you forever, my darling,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.

  Then they wheeled Niamh away from him.

  “Come back to me, babe, please!” he cried.

  Both Eileen and he were crying as they left the room, their arms around each other.

  Val was sitting white-faced, waiting for them. Eileen told her what the doctor said. She started wailing again.

  “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault!” she cried.

  “How is it your fault?” Gavin asked.

  Val was gabbling incoherently. They caught the words “running away” and “I didn’t mean it” before she started bawling again.

  “Oh, shut up, Val!” her mother snapped. She turned to Johnny, who had waited for them.

  “Johnny, would you mind dropping Val home? She’s not doing anyone any good here. Gavin and I are staying.”

  “Of course, Eileen,” Johnny said. “Let us know if there’s any news, won’t you? And don’t worry, Gavin,” he nodded at him, “Sissy will stay with the kids as long as you want. You stay here with Niamh.”

  “Thanks, Johnny,” Gavin replied.

  Eileen smiled at him gratefully.

  “Come on, Val,” Johnny said, taking Val by the arm. She went with him meekly, still snivelling.

  It was over three hours later when the doctor came for them. He looked weary as he took his cap and mask off but he was smiling.

  “Please, St Jude,” Eileen whispered, one last time.

  “Well, good news,” he told them and Gavin practically collapsed with relief. “She has no brain damage. We’ve stitched up the head wound but it will be pretty sore for a couple of days. Luckily, we were able to stop the internal bleeding.” He smiled at them. “She has a broken wrist and some broken ribs but quite honestly it’s amazing her injuries were not more severe. She’s pretty stable now but we’re keeping her under observation. Don’t worry, she’s in good hands.”

  Eileen made the sign of the cross and said a prayer of thanks.

  Gavin found himself crying with the relief. “Can I see her now?” he asked.

  “Yes,” the doctor replied. “She’s in intensive care so I’m afraid it’s only one visitor at a time.”

  “Is she still unconscious?” Eileen asked nervously.

  “She came round, just before surgery, but of course she’s sedated now, so I don’t expect she’ll even know you’re there.”

  He directed them to Intensive Care. They rang the bell and a nurse came and let Gavin in. Again, all the hygiene precautions, but he would have agreed to anything just to be by Niamh’s side. She looked peaceful and had a little more colour in her cheeks but she still looked like a porcelain doll. His heart contracted with love for her. Rubbing her forehead, he whispered to her as he held her hand in his other one. He thought he felt her pressing his hand as he told her how much he loved her but she never opened her eyes. Kissing her gently, he left.

  “She won’t come around for a long time yet,” a nurse told them after Eileen had visited too. “Sleep is the best thing for her now and we’re keeping her heavily sedated. Why don’t you go home and get some rest and come back after midday, when she should be waking up? If there’s any change, we’ll ring you of course.”

  They returned home, speaking little. Eileen had never had much time for Gavin but she had to admit that he’d gone up in her estimation during the past couple of hours. Whatever she thought of him, she was sure of one thing: he loved Niamh deeply.

  Gavin grabbed a couple of hours’ sleep and then got the children up for school. It was their last day before the Christmas holidays and they were all excited about it. Santa Claus was coming to visit the school so Gavin decided not to tell them about Niamh’s accident just yet.

  “Where’s Mammy?” Lily wanted to know.

  “Yes, I want Mammy to dwess me!” Rose stamped her little foot.

  “Mammy stayed in the hotel last night, after the party,” Gavin lied, bouncing Rose on the bed and then tickling her, “so Daddy is going to dwess you today!”

  “Me too, me too,” Lily squealed, jumping on top of him.

  He tickled her too and then hugged them both tightly. God, he was so lucky.

  He arrived back from school to find Val waiting on his doorstep.

  “What do you want, Val?” he asked her wearily. He sighed, brushing her aside. “You’re not coming in.”

  “Please, Gav, I have to talk to you,” she muttered, looking at the ground. “It’s important. I have something to tell you.”

  He didn’t know whether to believe her or not. Last night – God, it seemed so long ago now – while Niamh had been at the party – Val had arrived, all dolled up and obviously intending to hit on him again. He had turned her away unceremoniously. “Get lost, Val,” he’d told her.

  Now here she was again. “You’re not coming in,” he told her. “Say what you have to say right here.”

  Slowly, haltingly, she told him what she’d said to Niamh the night before – told him what had caused her to rush out into the oncoming car.

  He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He grabbed her by the shoulders. “You told her what?” he shouted at her, shaking her as hard as he could.

  “I’m sorry,” she whimpered.

  He let go of her. “Jesus Christ!” he shouted, even louder, his fists clenching and unclenching by his side. “Get out of my sight! You’re despicable! You make me want to vomit!” It took all of his self-control not to put his hands around her neck and choke the life out of her. “You’d better be at the hospital when your sister wakes up, to tell her what a liar you are and that none of it is true or, so help me God, I’ll come and drag you in by the hair of your head!” He turned on his heel, slamming the door in her face.

  He was shaking. How could she? Had Niamh believed her? Oh, God! He sank to the couch, his head in his hands. He’d meant what he said. He’d drag her in – physically, if necessary – to make sure Niamh learnt the truth. Val had been right about one thing. It was her fault that Niamh had met with the accident.

  Eileen organised for her older daughter, Brenda, to come and stay with the kids while she and Gavin went to the hospital. Niamh was still sleeping but the staff nurse assured them that she was doing fine.

  “I’ll call you in when she wakes,” she told them as they took their seats in the waiting room.

  Eileen was surprised to see Val waiting there for them.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked her.

  Val looked at Gavin who glared back.

  “Tell your mother,” he said grimly.

  “I can’t,” she wailed.

  “Tell me what?” Eileen asked, mystified, looking from one to the other.

  “Tell her,” Gavin repeated, menacingly.

  Val had no choice. She told her mother the horrible thing she’d done.

  Eileen was shocked to the core.

  “I knew you were bad, Val, but I never thought you’d stoop to this. You’re to blame for Niamh lying here, injured. She could have been killed, for God’s sake,” she said, her voice shaking. “She could still die.”

  At that moment, the nurse appeared. “Niamh is waking up,” she announced. “Would you like to come in, Mr Byrne?”

  They donned gowns and Gavin went in first. When he entered the room, he saw that Niamh’s colour had returned and her eyes were flickering.

  “Darling,” Gavin whispered, “how are you feeling?” Her eyes opened and he saw the pain in them. Not just the pain of her injuries but something else.

  “Darling, I love you. There’s never been anyone else. Only you,” he whispered as he stroked her face. She turned away from him and he saw a tear roll down her cheek. “Please beli
eve me, sweetheart. Val is here to tell you that she lied to you. I’ve never been with her. I’ve never been unfaithful to you.” He desperately wanted her to believe in him. He saw a flicker of hope in her eyes before she closed them again.

  “Okay, Mr Byrne,” the nurse said, “time to go.”

  Niamh motioned to the nurse, who pulled the oxygen mask aside. “Val,” she whispered, making a come-hither sign with her hand.

  “I think she wants to see her sister,” Gavin said, praying that this would make everything all right.

  Gavin left and Val went in, her feet dragging on the floor. She was terribly shocked at how frail Niamh looked and started crying softly.

  “I’m so sorry, Niamh. I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “I lied to you.”

  Niamh’s eyes flickered open and focused on Val who was shocked at the pain she saw there.

  “None of it was true. None of it! I’ve never been with Gavin. I wanted to but he would have nothing to do with me.” She continued to cry softly. “I even put lipstick and perfume on his shirt in the linen basket so that you’d think we were having an affair. Please forgive me.”

  Niamh listened, shocked at what Val had tried to do to her. Then she closed her eyes but not before Val had seen the relief that flooded them.

  The nurse came in then and asked Val to leave. She shuffled out, still crying.

  Unable to look her mother or Gavin in the face she whispered, “I told her that I lied and that I’m dreadfully sorry. I am, really I am.”

  “Get out of here,” her mother said, spitting the words out. “And don’t come near Niamh or me, ever again.” And she turned her back on her spiteful daughter.

  “Mam, I’m truly sorry!” Val cried, grabbing her mother’s arm but Eileen pulled away out of her grasp and went in to see her injured daughter.

  Gavin looked at Val in disgust and turned his back on her too.

  The next time Gavin was allowed in, Niamh was much more alert. She reached for his hand.

  Pulling the mask to one side, she whispered. “I’m sorry for doubting you, Gav.”

  “It’s okay, babe. Don’t try to talk. You’re going to be okay now,” he told her gently rubbing her cheek. “You’re the only woman in the world for me, surely you know that.” She smiled and nodded her head, wincing at the pain.