Revelation: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series)

by Lynn, Rebecca

  She let out a satisfied sigh. “Yeah?” She was trying to remember when she’d said that to him.

  “Yeah,” he said then looked at her. “In fact she was very demanding.”

  “Women can be that way when they discover something they like.”

  “Mm. She also demanded other things. Would you like to know what they were?”

  “Were they said in a drunken stupor? Because I don’t know if you can trust everything that’s said when someone is in that condition,” she murmured. She might as well try to glean some information from him since her memory was so foggy.

  “Oh, I think a drunken stupor is the best condition to be in if you want to get honest information.” He leaned down and kissed her below her ear, then whispered, “She also demanded I fuck her and make her come.”

  “She did?” Emily felt nervous and turned on at the same time. “That was pretty forward of her.”

  “I love it when she tells me what she wants, what she likes.” His teeth bit lightly down into her skin.

  She got goose bumps at the sensation his teeth created. “Yes,” she sighed, pulling on his hair and closing her eyes.

  “I like when you pull my hair. It tells me you’re on the edge.”

  “I’m always on the edge with you,” she breathed.

  “How much do you remember about Saturday night?” His lips were now moving to the other side of her neck, while his hand cupped a breast.

  Her eyes opened and she tried to control her voice and her breathing, but her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest.

  “Let’s not talk about Saturday night.” She’d changed her mind. She didn’t want any information after all. She wasn’t sure she could handle knowing what she’d said.

  “Why? Saturday night was a great night. Very enlightening.” He leaned back and looked down at her, stroking his thumb over her distended nipple through her top.

  “I’m sure it was. I remember bumping into a certain person whom I’d hoped never to see again,” she muttered.

  Their eyes collided and he nodded.

  “Ah, yes. The dickless wonder,” Mike said. “He’s an asshole.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “I’m embarrassed to say that I spent about 17 months too long with him.”

  “Did he ever make you feel like this?” His fingers continued to play with her nipple. He wouldn’t let her turn away and probed her with his eyes.

  She shook her head no, hating that he was asking and that she had to answer.

  “Did he make you come like I make you come?” he whispered against her lips then nibbled.

  Shit, shit, shit...tonight is gonna be harder than you thought, Em.

  “Mike,” she began, sounding exasperated at his questions.

  “Did he?” he asked while he kissed her. “Did he touch you like this?” he asked as his hand gently and expertly teased her nipple. “I’m the only one who can do this, Em. I’m the only one who will ever make you feel this good. Say it for me.”

  Her head was already shaking in the negative while on the bed.

  He bit his teeth softly into her bottom lip.

  “Only me. Say it,” he demanded.

  She kept shaking her head. She didn’t want to say it. “Mike,” she said wanting to push him off of her, and wanting to hold him to her and cling at the same time. He held her head still with his hands, his voice taking on a cajoling tone while he whispered in her ear.

  “Only me, Em. Tell me.”

  “Mike,” she growled, pulling his hair.

  “I need to hear it, Em. I need it.” He nuzzled her cheek and he looked down at her so tenderly, stroking the bottom lip that was swollen from her kisses.

  That broke her.

  “It’s you,” she looked away. “It’s only you.” She had to dig deep not to start crying. Waves of emotion crashed over her again and again until she felt like she’d been left on the shore to recover.

  He stared at her waiting for her to make eye contact with him. When she did, he gave her a sweet knowing look then kissed her nose.

  Even though they were fully clothed on her bed, she felt stripped naked. More vulnerable than she’d felt in a very, very long time.

  “I hate you,” she breathed.

  He looked completely nonplussed by her declaration.

  “I have a few demands of my own.”

  She closed her eyes and began to squirm to get away from him.

  “Look at me, Em,” he said pressing his hips into her to stop her from moving.

  She opened her eyes and blinked away the burning she felt behind her eyelids.

  “I want honesty from you. And I don’t just want it when you’re drunk.”

  Shit. What did you say to him on Saturday night, Em?

  “Do you understand me?”

  She didn’t respond. She tried to roll her hips to get him to move off of her. She didn’t want to talk, but he wasn’t going for that. He just lay there, waiting.

  “Do you?” he asked again.

  “Yes,” she finally said, clenching her jaw.

  He held her face with his hands so she was forced to look at him.

  “Was Scott your first?”

  She glared at him then whispered through her gritted teeth, “Yes.”

  He kissed her softly.

  “Your only?”

  She hated him for doing this to her. “Don’t ask me this, Mike.” She looked away. It was too much. The inferences he would make when he discovered he was only her second lover were just too much for her to think about.

  He made her look at him. His eyes were soft, compassionate…and determined.

  “Answer me. Was he the only one before me?”

  “Yes, okay?” she said angrily. “What does it matter? It means nothing.”

  His eyes showed a world of emotion: understanding, disbelief, possessiveness, relief, lust. She wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but she certainly wasn’t expecting the response she got.

  “Thank you for your honesty.” He kissed her, resting his lips on hers. “I don’t want you to hate me,” he murmured.

  Her eyes burned and she swallowed down a sob.

  “Don’t hate me, baby,” he whispered in her ear. “I don’t want there to be walls between us. I want your honesty, your words, your heart. Give ’em to me, Em,” he half-groaned in her ear. “I want ’em. I want you to wanna give ’em to me.”

  She had to keep blinking back the emotion that had already reached the surface. She wanted to give him all of those things, too. But how did she know he would protect them?

  He leaned back to look down at her again, running his fingers through her hair.

  “So fuckin’ beautiful, Em. So perfect.”

  It had never been clearer than it was at that moment. She was in love with him.

  And she had to step back so she could breathe, think. Figure out what to do. She needed to end it before she fell any more.

  And hope that her heart would remain intact after she did. She owed him honesty, he was right. Hadn’t she just told Ayanna a few weeks back that she shouldn’t lie to Jonathan in their relationship? But she couldn’t share everything. She couldn’t.

  She stroked his hair, not wanting the connection to be broken, but knowing she needed to speak. It was too obvious from their previously spoken words that she needed to say something.

  “We should talk,” she said quietly.

  “Yes, we should.” He leaned up on his elbows settling in for the conversation.

  She couldn’t have this conversation while he was on her like this. It was too intimate.

  “Let me up first –”

  He was already shaking his head. “Let’s talk right here. I’m no dummy,” he murmured dryly.

  She sighed and he stroked her hair away from her face.

  “Whattaya wanna talk about?”

  She was so nervous. “It’s only been a week and –”

  “It’s been a lot longer than a week. It’s been nin
e weeks of you putting me off, even longer if you count the weeks before that when I first met you and wanted you. It’s only been one week of absolute awesomeness. Not nearly long enough.”

  God, she wanted to scream, I’m so in love with you. Please don’t be nice to me right now.

  Instead, she said, “Well, okay. I’m just saying I think maybe we need to cool it a little, you know?” She looked at him for his reaction then looked away. “It was supposed to be just sex and, I think we shouldn’t be doing sleepovers or feel like we need to talk about previous relationships. In fact, I think we should take some time to just step back for a while –”

  She looked at him for some help, but he just stared at her, his face expressionless except for the clenching of his jaw. Finally, he spoke.

  “You wanna end this.”

  She swallowed and nodded.

  He nodded back in understanding then said, “No.”

  “No?”

  “No,” he repeated. His look said, That’s settled.

  She was getting pissed.

  “What the hell?” she stuttered. “You don’t get to dictate everything, Mike. You need two people for this to happen and I want out,” she said with a pout. If she could cross her arms with a ‘hmph’, she would.

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? I just told you why,” she growled. “This is…moving too fast for me.” Her body was flushed and she was beginning to get flustered.

  And he was still on top her, resting between her legs, dammit.

  “You’re scared. I am too.” His eyes softened, but they were determined.

  “I’m not scared. What the hell, Mike? You’re so friggin’ conceited. Don’t assume just because I wanna end this that it’s for any other reason than what I’ve said.”

  He nodded then moved his hips. She gasped unexpectedly.

  “So you wanna end this?” He slowly ground into her, planting soft kisses all over her face.

  “Yes,” her voice said, her breath coming out on a moan.

  “You don’t like me anymore?” She was sure she was imagining the hurt she heard in his voice.

  “I do like you. I’m just not comfortable with this arrangement anymore.”

  “What do you want to change?” he said in between kisses.

  “I just think it’s time to take a break,” she said, her eyes closing.

  “Why? Do you wanna see someone else?” He lifted his head from her neck, stopping his movements.

  “Not necessarily.” She turned her head away.

  “Not necessarily? What does that mean?” She could feel his eyes on her. “Look at me.” She did and his eyes never left her face while he waited for her reply.

  “I don’t wanna see someone else. I just,” she said quietly, “I just need some time to think.” She began gently pushing at him to get off of her.

  He ignored her. “About what?”

  “About this. I just think,” she sighed, “we should be friends.”

  “You’re afraid if we keep this up, we won’t be friends anymore? So we can either just be friends, or just have sex. We can’t have both?”

  He was confusing her, twisting her words around. She couldn’t think with him between her legs. She was beginning to fall under again and she needed him to stop if they were to finish this conversation.

  She couldn’t just have sex with him. She needed more and she knew from watching him, hearing about his reputation and recalling conversations with the girls about Mike saying he wasn’t the marrying type, this would never work with him.

  She couldn’t do it.

  “No. I don’t want the sex anymore either.” She bit her lip. “I think it should just go back to the way it was.”

  He looked her in the eye. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Well,” she growled in frustration and confusion, “tough shit!” She heard her voice waver. Why was he making this so difficult? She was doing him a favor. Maybe he liked the sex, but he would find someone better.

  When the thought of him doing this with another woman blindsided her, she couldn’t stop the sob that escaped. She wouldn’t want to know if he found another woman after her. It might kill her and then she’d seriously want to kill the woman. Then him.

  Then she’d want to crawl into a hole and die.

  She was so confused. She needed him out of the apartment. She could feel herself beginning to panic.

  He was staring at her face and she wondered how many of her thoughts he could read on her it.

  “I need you to go,” she whispered, her eyes looking anywhere but at his face.

  “Shh,” he soothed, trying to calm her. “I’m not leaving.”

  “I need you to go,” she said more forcefully, trying to calm her breathing.

  “Just like that? You’re done? You’re not even gonna try this out?” He stared at her for what seemed like forever. She could feel herself tamping down the panic and the tears, and as if sensing she was going to lose it, he rolled off the bed. She immediately scrambled up the bed so she could sit up, her work clothes in disarray.

  Breathe, Em. Breathe. She bit down on her lower lip to stop from begging him to stay.

  He turned his eyes on her, looking more tired than he’d looked at the beginning of the night. The thought that her words could’ve exhausted him more than the murder scene he’d witnessed cruelly smacked her in the face.

  I’m so scared, Mike. Please understand.

  “I’m giving you time. And during that time, I want you to think. About you and me. About what’s real. Not what you perceive to be real, not what you’re afraid isn’t real, but what is real, Em. The ball is in your court now,” he said. “I’m not gonna call you,” he said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself just as much as her. “You want time to think then you take it, but –”

  He didn’t finish his statement, just stared at her one last time, then turned and left. When she heard the front door close, she buried her face into her hands and for the first time in ages, she cried.

  PART TWO

  Thirteen Years Earlier

  Emily was on her back, reclining on her double bed with her right leg crossed over her left. She looked up at the ceiling and zeroed in on the poster that was taped there of John Rzeznik, the lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls. She crooned along with the song playing by them on her stereo, falling into a deep reflective state.

  And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am…

  Emily lay there humming to the music and staring at the ceiling. When she’d seen the movie City of Angels the summer before, she’d cried like a baby. She was such a sucker for romances, whether they were good or bad. The song she was listening to was the main soundtrack for the movie and whenever she listened to it, she always thought of the same question: Would there ever be a man to love her with such intensity, like Nicolas Cage did Meg Ryan?

  She sighed.

  She was lonely.

  Ever since ‘the incident’ she’d been in some kind of limbo.

  The incident about which she was thinking was regarding her best friend, Taylor. It had been six months since her friend had been date raped by Richie Sutton, one of the popular football players at their high school in the suburb of Boston where they lived. Taylor had called Emily the night it happened after she’d gotten home from the date with him, and thankfully Emily had been able to convince her to go to the police.

  She knew from being the niece of a prominent lawyer in the city that Taylor shouldn’t take a shower or anything. Taylor needed to get to the cops as quickly as possible, but Taylor was so scared no one would believe her. That’s when Emily called Uncle Ethan. He took care of things and eventually Richie was brought up on charges and sent to a juvenile facility.

  It didn’t happen without fallout, though. In addition to the initial psychological damage Taylor had unde
rgone, things were made worse when many friends turned on Taylor due to Richie being so well-liked. Even though she had done nothing wrong, kids still taunted her.

  Emily did everything in her power to protect her. She’d convinced her parents to sign her up for self-defense classes so she could always be ready in case she or Taylor was ever in a dangerous situation. She wanted to feel stronger, more empowered. She needed that confidence because unfortunately she had been cursed with her maternal grandmother’s DNA, which basically meant at fourteen she barely cleared five feet in height. She could only hope she still had a few good inches left in her.

  Since that awful night, all of the friends she’d had since kindergarten seemed to fall away.

  The defense classes helped. The instructors were hot and she always felt good after learning moves from them, but she missed her friends.

  She missed Taylor and the friendship they’d had. Things weren’t the same, understandably. They still remained close, but Emily could feel herself pulling away from her closest friend subconsciously, not wanting to add to Taylor’s troubles by sharing her own issues.

  A knock at her bedroom door pulled her from her musings.

  “Come in,” she said over the music.

  Her mom popped her head in. “Hey. Don’t forget Uncle Ethan and Aunt April will be here for dinner with the boys. We have about a half an hour before they’re here. Can you help with setting the table?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “I’ll be right down.”

  Her mom smiled and closed the door. Emily had forgotten they were all coming over. That immediately cheered her up. Being an only child and hating it, she loved it when her cousins came over. They were practically her brothers and seeing them along with her aunt and uncle always made her feel better.

  She got off the bed to change.

  Maybe she would talk to Aunt April about how she’d been feeling. Emily loved her mom to death, but for whatever reason, she and Aunt April just clicked on a deeper level. Or she could talk to Jonathan or Mark if she needed to.

  Again, she wondered if there would ever be a day when she would find a guy who would get her like her cousins did. When she was with them, she always felt safe and secure.