by K. L. Myers
“Why, Cayson? Just tell me why. I want the honest truth, or this call ends now, and I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“Kayla, this needs to be a conversation we can have face-to—”
“No,” I interrupt him. “It needs to be had now.” And then it hits me. He called me Kayla. He always calls me princess.
“Suit yourself. I just hate that I can’t be there holding you when I say what I have to say. I want, no, I need you to understand, to feel what I’m feeling, so you know what I’m saying is the truth.” There is a pause for a brief minute before I hear him inhale and slowly exhale a long breath. “I was scared. Scared that you’d get sick again. Scared that the next time, you could die. Fuck, I wasn’t just scared, I was terrified, and I was selfish. I only thought about how it would affect me and what I’d lose if anything happened to you. All I was worried about was how it would rip my heart into pieces. How it would devastate me because I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. I’m all fucked up in the head over you, Kayla. I’m so sorry. I never stopped to think about how I was making you feel.”
I didn’t expect to hear Cayson pour his heart out. In the back of my mind, I imagined that it all had to do with how marred my skin was now. I assumed he would see what I see: half a woman with ugly breasts. A defective version of my older self. One who is fighting for her life. In my mind, I had come to the conclusion that Cayson needs a whole woman, a healthy one. He doesn’t need the worries that will loom over our future, and so I’m the one who wrote us off in my head, not him.
“I just assumed you didn’t want me anymore, Cayson. You know, because I’m not whole,” I say
“Stop it, princess. This is all on me; you are not to blame for any of this. I should have talked to you. Instead, I ignored you and made it worse while I tried to figure it out all on my own. I promise I’ll never do that again.”
Chapter 22
Cayson
I’m still uneasy from our call last week. Kayla said she forgave me, but something still feels off with my princess. I want to hold her and know that what we have is going to survive this. I need to get home, to Kayla, and make sure everything is going to be okay. This is where being a mega superstar has its advantages. Everything I could ever want is at my disposal with just a few calls from the right people.
Two days later, I’m hopping on a private jet after a sold-out concert. I’ll get into Phoenix spend a day and a half with my princess and then meet up with the guys as they arrive in Texas. I thank the Lord every day for the blessings I’ve been given in my career.
It’s just after one in the morning when I touch down. The first call I make is to Mom. When you want to surprise your girl, it helps that your mother has a key to her home. Quietly, I let myself into Kayla’s house. The house is dark except for the light coming from the kitchen, which illuminates a small area just off the living room. My eyes take a moment to adjust to the darkness as I head down the hallway. Kayla is asleep in her bed, with her laptop open beside her. Silently, I pull the laptop off the bed and close the lid, placing it on the dresser. I strip down to my boxer briefs and discreetly slide in beside her. I’m probably overstepping my bounds right now, but frankly, I don’t give two shits. This is what I need. Carefully, I rest my arm across her stomach as I nuzzle my nose into the side of her neck. “Princess, I’m here,” I whisper. A tidal wave of tranquility overcomes me, allowing me to relax for the first time in months.
“Cayson.” A whisper in the night draws me from my sleep. When I open my eyes, Kayla’s beautiful face is looking back at me. “Why are you here?”
I have to kiss her, taste her before I can answer any of her questions. It’s been way too long since I’ve felt her lips on mine. When I sit up, her eyes immediately lower to my bare chest. There’s a hitch in her breathing that tells me she likes what she sees. I can’t wait any longer. My hands clasp the sides of her face moments before my lips take control and devour hers. There is no tenderness to my kiss; no, I need her to know the extent of my desire for her. Kayla’s lips part slightly, and it’s all I need to slide my tongue between them and find hers. Our tongues dance and twist together in a duel of dominance until one of us succumbs first and pulls away.
I’m the first to give in, but only because I have to get what I’m feeling off my chest. “I needed to see you, princess. I wanted to taste you. I had to know everything between us is alright. I fucked us up.” I point a finger back and forth between us as I say the words. “I need to make it right again, and I don’t feel like I’ve done that just yet.”
The bed dips as Kayla lifts herself off and walks to the bathroom. A sense of emptiness fills the room the minute the door closes and I can no longer see her. I drop my head in defeat, wondering how I’m ever going to convince her that I’m sorry.
My jeans are lying on the floor next to the dresser. I pick them up and slide one leg in and then the other. I’m about to lift the zipper when the bathroom door opens and Kayla stands in it wearing a robe. I stare at her face, trying to read the emotions that are flickering across it, but I’m coming up empty.
“This is me, Cayson,” Kayla says as she unties the knot and drops her robe to the floor, leaving her standing before me completely naked. “Take a good look at me, Cayson. Is this what you want? These tits will never know what it feels like to have your mouth suck on my non-existent nipples again. Do you see, Cayson? There is nothing left for your teeth to bite on. It’s ugly and disgusting to look at. I’m scarred forever, Cayson. These will never be the same again,” she says as her hands cup the underside of her new breasts.
Without hesitation, I walk toward her, my eyes never leaving hers until I’m standing before her. Gently, I reach up and place my hand over heart. Her breathing picks up, and I can feel her heart beating quickly. “I’m touching the only thing that matters to me, princess. Your heart. It’s not your tits that make me want you. It’s your heart.” I watch as she shakes her head back and forth and the pools of water build in her eyes. I can tell she has something she wants to say, so I quickly place my finger over her lips. “Shhh,” I whisper then take her hand in mine and lower it, placing it against my rock-hard erection. “Do you feel that, princess? That is what being with you does to me. It’s not your tits; it’s you, all of you that excites me and makes me hard.”
Kayla’s hand slides under my jeans and strokes my cock through my boxer briefs. “Those scars you refer to, princess, aren’t something to be ashamed of. They’re battle wounds that just support how strong and courageous you are.” I immediately drop to my knees in front of her and run my tongue over her clit, and then tease the tiny nub with my teeth. “My teeth are perfectly happy right here, princess.” I give her my devious smile when I look up at her, then flick her bundle of nerves again with my tongue, causing her to moan in excitement. “Scars will heal, princess, but my heart won’t, so please tell me you want us as much as I do.”
“I do, Cayson, I want us as much as you do.” Kayla’s words are music to my ears. Without hesitation, I sweep her into my arms and carry her back to her bed, where I lay us both down so we are facing one another. I don’t want to risk causing her any undue pain. My lips on are hers, kissing her feverishly as my hand runs the length of her body and then finally rests on her hip. My cock wants to feel the inside of her so bad that I’m already leaking pre-cum.
“I want you, princess. I want to be inside you, but I don’t know if that’s okay. You’re going to have to tell me what’s okay and what’s not.”
Kayla lowers her mouth to my ear. “I want you, Cayson. I want that rock-hard cock of yours filling me. I want to hear you call my name as you empty yourself inside me. Is that what you want to hear me say?”
Holy shit! I almost explode when Kayla whispers her words into my ear. She wants exactly what I want. When I stand before her to remove my jeans and underwear, her eyes lower and follow my hands. As my cock springs free, her eyes grow wide with excitement. I watch as her own hand caresses the
insides of her thigh and up to her abdomen then back down to land on her core. Her fingers dip inside briefly before she removes them, teasing me with how wet she is. When she holds them up to show me, my lips quickly close around them, sucking off her essence. “Delicious.” That’s the only word I can use to describe just how tasty she is. So tasty that I can’t take it any longer and have to bury my face between her legs. I work her clit with my tongue and teeth until she’s screaming my name as she comes for me.
I’m not done with her yet. I ache to be inside her. My hand wraps around the base of my shaft, as I watch Kayla spread her legs wider for me, granting me access to what I most desire. Slowly, I feed my cock into her warmth little by little. When I’m finally completely buried within her, I roll my hips, gently pressing into her and retreating. This has to be slow and gentle no matter how badly I just want to pound into her. My arms rest on each side of her body to keep my weight from crashing down on her still healing chest. My eyes are locked on hers, never leaving. I want to see into her soul when we both come. I want to make love to her slowly and watch as she falls apart.
Chapter 23
Kayla
Thirty-six hours is all I get with Cayson before he has to leave. If we aren’t naked in bed with each other, making up for lost time, he’s waiting on me hand and foot, making sure everything I possibly need or want is there for me. I’m a little jealous of the relationship he has with Ellie. Who am I kidding? I’m a lot jealous and don’t like feeling this way. Even though Cayson assured me he feels like she’s his little sister, it still doesn’t ease my insecurity. Then it hits me; the solution to my problems is only one best friend away.
“Cayson, do you really feel Rocky might be slipping again?” I don’t know why I ask the question; he already told me the answer yesterday. I think I just need to hear one more time that Ellie is there for Rocky and not for him.
“Yeah, princess, I do. I thought having Ellie around would keep him on the straight and narrow, but I still think he’s cheating. She can’t be with him all the time, like in the bathroom and shit. He needs a full-time male security guard slash babysitter.” I watch Cayson roll his eyes when he says the word “babysitter.”
Cayson listens as I pitch my idea to him. Rusty is still a bouncer at the Sweet Spot but has been thinking about going to work for Gauge Ellington. Why not just go work for Rocky? I also know that Rusty will be the right person for the job because several years back, Rusty lost his girlfriend to a drug overdose. To understand addiction, Rusty started volunteering at several crisis centers and spent a lot of his time helping family members become aware of the signs of drug addiction so they can get their loved ones help before it’s too late. This makes him the ideal candidate as Rocky’s babysitter.
“Three weeks, right?” I confirm. “Then you guys get a month break before you head to Asia, right?” When Cayson acknowledges that I’m correct, I carry on. “I’ll plan a BBQ here at my house. I’ll invite Kathy and Rusty, and we can introduce Rusty to Rocky and see if they hit it off. If they do, then it won’t be so awkward when you suggest that he become Rocky’s BGBS.” Cayson looks at me quizzically. “You know BGBS. Bodyguard slash babysitter I just thought it would be better than saying babysitter out load.” Cayson nods in acknowledgment.
“I’m on board, princess, but instead of having the BBQ here, have it at my house. I’ve got more room, and the guys would be more comfortable there. Have Mom help you with anything you need. I don’t want you overdoing it.” Cayson’s hands squeezes my shoulders a little tighter. “Now, come on, let me take you to an early dinner, and then you can drop me off at the commuter terminal.”
Chapter 24
Cayson
When I envisioned a quiet dinner with Kayla, I didn’t envision that we wouldn’t be speaking throughout it. Kayla is lost in herself, only answering my questions with one-word answers. Every time I ask her what is wrong, I get the same response. “I’m fine, just tired.” It’s a bullshit lie, but I’ll give her until the end of dinner and then she’s gonna have to come clean when we’re alone in the car.
I pay the bill and escort Kayla out the door. My hand rests on the small of her back as we walk to the car. When Kayla reaches the passenger side door, she stops and waits for me to open it. When I don’t release the lock, she turns to looks at me with questioning eyes.
“You going to unlock the door?” she raises one eyebrow as she questions me.
My lips find hers for a simple but tender kiss as I press the button to release the lock. Once our lips part, I reach down and open the door, allowing her to get settled inside before closing it and striding around to the driver's side and climbing in.
“Look at me.” The words leave my mouth as I turn to face her. “You’ve been quiet all through dinner. I can only guess what is going through your head right now, and none of it I’m sure are happy thoughts. Tell me what’s bothering you, princess.”
Kayla faces forward, staring out the windshield. “I don’t want you to leave.” Her eyes close when the words leave her mouth. I can tell she’s fighting back tears.
Reaching over the console, I pull her onto my lap. My hands brush the hair away from her face. “Awe, princess, it’s only for three weeks. We’ve been apart for far longer, and we’ve made it work. Just hold on another three weeks.”
As her tears begin to slowly run down her face, Kayla hesitantly voices her thoughts. “Then what? What changes?”
“Everything,” I exclaim. “Everything changes. I’ll be home for a month, and when I leave again, you’re coming with me. I’m not spending another minute more than I have to away from you, Kayla. I can't do it, and I won’t. Give me three weeks to get everything in place, and you’re coming to Asia with me, with the band.” My lips take hers once more, showing her how much I want her. “Now, climb back over to your seat, so I’m not late to catch my plane.”
As we pull up to the commuter terminal in Scottsdale, I see the jet waiting for me. I place the car in park and then turn to face Kayla. “I’m going to miss you, princess, but it’s only three weeks. We’ll get through it together. I promise.”
Kayla’s head nods up and down, but she’s silent. “Hey, look me in the eyes, please.” Her eyes rise to meet mine. “I love you.”
Kayla’s eyes grow the size of quarters. “You what?”
“I love you, Kayla Marshall. Unconditionally. And don’t you ever forget it.” My lips take hers one more time before I push open the door and climb out.
Kayla is making her way around to the driver's side when she calls out, “Cayson, I love you, too, Rock God.” Her smile stretches from ear to ear.
My reply is a simple wink as the doors to the terminal close behind me.
Chapter 25
Kayla
The short drive from Scottsdale’s commuter airport to my home feels like a cross-country venture. I hit every red light there is, but it also gives me an opportunity to reach out to Kathy and get her opinion. I pitch her the same idea I gave to Cayson. “What do you think, Kathy?”
“Wow, Kayla, that’s a fantastic idea. I think Rusty would be perfect for the job. Do you think it could really happen?”
The light turns green, and I speed down the road without a care in the world. “Yeah, I do. I think that Rocky and Rusty would get along great, and if they do, Cayson said he’d push the idea on Rocky. I just hope it is something that Rusty would want to do.”
“Oh, Kayla, trust me, it is so something that Rusty would want to do. The chance to go on tour with one of his favorite bands and get paid to do it. Honestly, I can’t believe you would think he’d say no.”
I’m overflowing with delight. “Just don’t say anything right now, please,” I swear my best friend to secrecy and end the call. Over the next two weeks, Brenda and I plan the menu for my BBQ. Kathy makes sure Rusty is available to attend. Everything is in motion. I’m feeling almost like my old self again.
My phone rings around eight in the evening. and the words “R
OCK GOD” illuminate the screen. “Hi, Randy, I can’t talk very long. The love of my life is supposed to be calling me real soon,” I say with a laugh.
“Oh, you are too funny, princess. I’m going to make you pay for that when I get home next week. How are you doing? Everything coming together just fine?”
Every night, like clockwork, between eight and nine, Cayson makes sure to call me. Usually, if it’s a concert night, I’ll get the call just before he steps on stage. I’ll get two minutes of his time, but I know I’ll be getting a call afterward just so he can fill me in on how it went.
“Everything is perfect. Your mom and I have all the arrangements made. I can’t wait for you to get home next week.”
“Me neither, princess. I just had to hear your voice before I go on stage. I’ll be picturing you in the front row. Oh, and princess, I love you.”
“Love you, too, Rock God. Talk to you later tonight.”
“Princess!” I hear him call my name the minute he walks through the front door. “I’m in the bedroom, Cayson.” The sound of his boots quickly moving across the tiled floor have my heart pounding. I’m finishing applying the last bits of my makeup when his body fills the frame of the bathroom entrance. Cayson stands leaning against the archway, staring at me with hunger in his blue eyes that makes my stomach do flip-flops.
“Come here, princess, and give me a kiss,” he says with a devilish grin on his face. I place the cap on the lipstick and smack my lips together before I turn to walk toward him.
“You want some of this, big boy?” The words ooze out my mouth as I slide my hands up and down my side before letting them stop just below my breasts.