In Between

by Fernández M. A.

  “Ok, so how may I help you?”

  “Actually, it’s how I might help you. I’ve been trying to communicate with you but I couldn’t find your number until I came up with the idea to call Mr. Reynolds. Miss Scott, there is something you have to know. About a month before I met you, Tom called me and we talked about everything a little. I asked if he had anyone in his life and he said that he had been talking to someone for about a week. He described her to me and by what little he described I now know that the woman he described was not you.”

  My heart sank as soon as a heard what she was trying to imply. I knew Tom had lied to me before, more than once, but I didn’t think he was capable of such a thing. Toying not only with my emotions but with someone else’s, too.

  “What are you trying to say, Mrs. Cooper?”

  “Tom is a good man, but sometimes he makes mistakes, big mistakes, especially after his fiancée left him. You and Tom seem much closer than just two months, which only leads me to think he has someone else. I don’t care if he is my son, Miss Scott. No one deserves this. If I can give you any advice it would be to get away before he hurts you even more.”

  “Thank you for telling me this, Mrs. Cooper. You’re a great person.”

  “It’s the least I could do after what my son has done. Goodbye, Miss Scott.” Tom’s mother hung up and the driver’s door opened.

  “I’m back,” he said and kissed me on my cheek. “Sorry I made you wait so long.”

  “It’s ok. Just take me home.”

  “Are you ok?”

  “I’m fine. Just drive.”

  Tom turned on the car and started driving. After a while I couldn’t take it anymore. The chance that his mother could be right was destroying me, but the chance that she could be wrong was giving me hope.

  “Tom, I have to ask you something. I don’t care what the answer is, but I want the truth. I beg you not to lie to me.”

  “Ok.”

  “Have you been talking with any woman since we started this? Have you slept with anyone else?

  “Rachel, why would you ask me that?”

  “Have you been with anyone else?”

  He stayed silent, completely silent, and my heart broke at that moment, completely shattered. I gave my love to a man who did not deserve it. I risked and possibly ruined a relationship that had great potential for this, for a mistake. He was not a man but a boy. An emotionally unstable boy who went after many women just for the pleasure of it.

  “Thank you for answering my question. Now say it.”

  He said absolutely nothing. He just stared out the front window.

  “Answer me, Tom! I want to know the truth. I need to know the truth!”

  “Rachel, I...”

  “You what?”

  “I...I can’t.”

  “Say it! Say it, you fucking bastard!”

  “I...I slept with someone else.”

  “How many times?”

  “Rachel..”

  “How many times?” I screamed.

  “Just twice.”

  “Just twice! Are you freaking serious? When was the last time?”

  “Please, Rachel.”

  “When was the last time?”

  “The weekend your father died.”

  “You are an asshole. What is wrong with you?”

  “Rachel, I know what I did was wrong.”

  “Spare me your bullshit.”

  “Rachel, I really am sorry. The first time was a mistake. I trusted myself and I fell. The second time I was in pain, alone and vulnerable so I fell again.”

  “Unbelievable. You can’t even hold yourself together for two seconds. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think leaving Ethan for you was even slightly a good a idea!”

  “It is a good idea.”

  “Shut the hell up! You proved today that anything is a better idea than giving myself to you. You say you love me and that I am everything to you. That you won’t hurt me or lie to me again but you do it again and again and again. You love no one but yourself!”

  I was enraged like a mad woman screaming every word. I just wanted to get out of the car and be nowhere near him.

  “That’s not true, Rachel. I do love you. I love you with all my heart.”

  “If you loved me you wouldn’t have done this to me,” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Just drive faster.”

  “I can’t. There are stoplights everywhere.”

  “Then take another route!”

  “Please calm down, Rachel.”

  “Calm down! Are you seriously telling me to calm down? Do you know how much I wish I could beat the living crap out of you. Do not tell me to calm down! I loved you with all my heart. I gave you every single part of me and it was all nothing to you.”

  By this point tears were streaming down my face.

  “For four months you were loyal to me. Is that all I’m worth to you? Four months of your time?”

  “Rachel, you act like you’re not going home to someone else! Like if I don’t have to live with myself knowing that you might be doing with him the same things that you do with me.”

  “You knew that when you started this.”

  “Yes, I did. But it took a toll on me and I took refuge in a place I probably shouldn’t have.”

  “Probably? You’re a worse person than I thought.”

  “Rachel, I’m sorry. Please understand I made a mistake.”

  “This is far more than a mistake!”

  “Please just give me one more chance.”

  “I gave you your chance when my father died, and trust me I would never have done that if I knew you were sleeping with someone else.”

  “Rachel, I love you,” he said with tears streaming down his face. “I made a mistake, a huge mistake.”

  “You should have thought of that before you did what you did. I’m done with you!”

  He looked at me with tears completely covering his face.

  “I’m so sorry, Rachel. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Fuck you, Tom.”

  “Rachel, I...”

  “Tom!” I screamed, but it was too late.

  Chapter twenty-nine

  Everything was blurry around me, and I had throbbing pain in my right ear. I touched my ear and there was blood trickling down. I searched for Tom, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. I unbuckled my seatbelt and that’s when I noticed that the driver’s door was completely smashed in, yet Tom was not next to me. He should have been next to me at least unconscious, but he wasn’t. I managed to get out of Tom’s truck and walk to the other side; the truck was completely destroyed from the driver’s side. It was truly a miracle that I wasn’t injured to a greater extent. I was still a bit disoriented, and my head was spinning. Then I saw Tom lying on the ground a few yards away from me, and a complete picture of the accident formed in my mind. I ran to him and grabbed his hand. He was bleeding badly. I got my phone out of my pocket to call 911, but he pulled up his hand slowly and grabbed my wrist, putting blood on it.

  “Rachel...there’s no point... in calling…them,” he said in a garbled voice that I could barely understand.

  “Shut up, Tom. You’re not dying on me, especially after all the things I said.”

  “It’s ok.... it’s not...your fault.”

  “Tom, I’m calling the cops.”

  A man came running up to me and touched me on the shoulder. “Miss, are you ok?”

  “Yes, I’m fine, but I have to call 911. My friend is bleeding a lot. All I can do is put pressure on the wound, but if they don’t get here soon he’s going to die.”

  “Don’t worry. I called them as soon as I saw the accident. They said they’ll be here in about 7 minutes.”

  “Tom, do you hear that? Help will be here in seven minutes.”

  There was no response from Tom and I started to freak out.

  “Tom!” I yelled. “Tom!”

  I shook him and he opened his eyes.

  “Don’t close your
eyes, Tom. Don’t close your eyes.”

  “Rachel.....I’m dying....just let me go.”

  “The police and ambulance or on their way. Just hold on a bit longer.”

  I was pressing the wound on his stomach so blood would stop flowing, but it was everywhere. Then he started coughing up blood and screaming in agony. I couldn’t bear to see him like this. No one deserved this.

  “Rachel?”

  I could barely understand him by this point and I knew that if the ambulance didn’t get here soon there wouldn’t be anyone to save.

  “Yes?”

  “Rachel...I’m sorry,” he said as more blood came out of his mouth.

  “Tom, don’t talk. It’s just making things worse.”

  “I’m sorry...I...I...didn’t mean to hurt you...I...I truly....did love...you.

  He lifted his bloody hand and pressed it against my cheek.

  “I...I love you...I’m sorry....I couldn’t...be the man...you needed.”

  “I forgive you, Tom. Please stop talking. Please.”

  He stayed quiet for a while, then tried to talk again.

  “No, Tom. Don’t.”

  “Rachel...Ethan.... he’s a good...man. Don’t...don’t...leave him.

  Tears were flowing down my face onto Tom.

  “Don’t cry....Till...death do....us part....that....that was...your promise.”

  “Death won’t part us, not today. The ambulance is almost here. Just hold on.”

  “I...I ...love you.”

  “I love you too. Now hold on for me.”

  A minute passed and no one said anything. Then I could see the ambulance.

  “Tom, it’s here.”

  I looked down at him but he didn’t respond.

  “Tom!” I screamed while shaking him. “Tom!”

  The ambulance was now in front of us; paramedics rushed toward us.

  Chapter thirty

  Two minutes. That’s what the paramedics said. Two minutes too late. Two minutes sooner and he would still be alive. He died in my hands and there was nothing I could do about it. My heart was completely destroyed. He may have done things wrong. He may have lied to me more times than I could possibly know, but it still hurt knowing that the man I had loved so deeply, who I had given every single part of me, was gone forever. It was one thing to think that he would be gone from my life, but it was another thing that he would be gone from this world. The paramedics did all they could for him, but after all available options were exhausted they pronounced his time of death. And with that I felt a part of me also died...a part of me that would now be lost forever. They tried to take his body away but I just wouldn’t let go. The paramedics had to pull me off of him and calm me down. I just couldn’t accept that he was gone.

  Although I seemed fine, or at least I felt fine, the paramedics took me to the hospital. They told me that they had to check my head injury to make sure I didn’t have a concussion, and they had to run another test to make sure I wasn’t bleeding internally. We got to the hospital and it was relatively empty. They took me to the emergency room where I had to wait about an hour. A nurse came out and checked my vital signs. Ten minutes later a doctor came out and told me he wanted to run some tests. He did various tests on me, which all came out negative. I didn’t have a concussion and I wasn’t bleeding internally, but he said they found something peculiar in one of the tests and wanted to check it out. I started to get a little worried but he told me that for now there was nothing to worry about. That I should just wait patiently for the results of the next tests, which would probably also be negative.

  At this point what really worried me was that Ethan would come home from his conference at any minute and I wouldn’t be there. I didn’t know how I would explain that I was in the hospital. He knew I didn’t use our car unless I was going somewhere far away. Since the car was in perfect condition I couldn’t use that as an excuse. I started to get uneasy because I could not come up with anything to tell Ethan. I knew he was bound to find out about Tom, but I hoped he wouldn’t. The thought of Tom brought back all the pain and grief, and I started to cry. I just could not hold back the tears anymore. The pain was so strong it felt as if someone had devoured my heart. I curled up in the chair and wept.

  Chapter thirty-one

  Ethan

  I was finishing the last meeting at the conference when I received a call. The person on the other line didn’t tell me much—just that there had been an accident and that one of the two people involved in the accident had passed away. She proceeded to apologize because she couldn’t give me more details over the phone. She told me that I would have to go to the hospital to get more information.

  As soon as I hung up I started to panic. I didn’t know what to do. Was Rachel okay? Was she the one who had passed away? Who was she with? Where was she going or coming from? All these thoughts were passing through my mind and I couldn’t keep them straight. I called the airport so I could take the first flight home. In about two hours I was on my way. I felt like the pilot knew I was in a rush because the flight took three hours and 20 minutes instead of the usual three hours and 42 minutes. As soon as I landed I retrieved my luggage and took a taxi to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital I told the taxi driver to stay there a minute while I went and checked what was going on. I would return for my luggage as soon as I had information. I ran into the hospital and up to the main desk.

  “Excuse me, miss. I was called a few hours ago and told there was an accident that my fiancée was involved in. I would like to know if she’s ok.”

  “What’s her name?” asked the woman.

  “Rachel Scott.”

  She started to type on the computer.

  “She’s in room 102, 10th floor.”

  “Thank God. Thank you very much.”

  I went back, paid the cab driver and got my luggage. I ran to the elevator, got to the 10th floor and ran down the hall, the doors until I found 102. I opened the door and Rachel was sitting on the bed. I could see the relief on her face as soon as she saw me. I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

  “Rachel. Thank God you’re ok. What happened?”

  “I was in an accident.”

  “I got a call from the hospital, and that’s all they would say. But what exactly happened? Who died?”

  As soon as I said those words she started to cry. I could tell she wanted to control herself but she couldn’t. I could tell from her face that she was filled with pain.

  “Rachel, who died?”

  “Tom,” she said with tears streaming down her face.

  “What were you doing with Tom?”

  “ We...we…”

  She stayed silent while I just stared at her, then I abruptly started talking.

  “You what?” I said coldly.

  “We were coming back from Connecticut.”

  I instantly understood what she was trying to tell me, but I still kept asking questions. “Why were you coming back from Connecticut?”

  She stayed quiet. She didn’t have the guts to answer me, so I started talking again. “How long has this been going on?”

  “Ethan...”

  “Did you sleep with him?”

  “Ethan…”

  “Please don’t lie to me. I can handle the truth.”

  “Ok...” She stayed quiet for a few seconds then continued. “I did. “

  “So for the past 6 months every time you told me that you were going out with friends or coworkers you were with Tom?”

  “Most times.”

  “Why would you do that, Rachel?”

  “ I...I don’t know.”

  “How could you not know?”

  “Well, I have an idea but it’s probably one you don’t agree on.”

  “I don’t care, Rachel, just tell me.”

  “It started when you were immersed deeply in work. I felt extremely alone, unloved, ugly, sad and vulnerable. That’s when I met Tom. I didn’t mean for anything to happen and I truly tried to pre
vent it, but when you went to that conference 6 months ago he kissed me and things just got out of hand after that.”

  “Spare me the details, please. Were you planning on ending it before he died? Or were you just going to keep screwing me over?” I screamed.

  She looked down and said, “I was. I was doing to do it today. Ethan, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I truly am sorry.” Tears started streaming down her face but the more she tried to stop them the more she cried.

  “Did you love him?”

  “I don’t know if I loved him, but I did feel some type of way for him.”

  “Do you still love me?”

  “Yes, I do. I will always love you…I’m so sorry that I did this to you. You didn’t deserve it. This wasn’t about my feelings toward you.”

  “You’re right. I didn’t deserve it. But I’m not fool either. I know I didn’t give you the time or the quality needed, so I accept my fault in the matter but I don’t ignore yours either. Which is pretty fucking big. God, I just don’t fucking understand. What the hell got into you? You’re not like this.” Now I was the one who was crying.

  “I understand what you’re saying, and if you want to leave me I’ll also understand.”

  “That’s the problem, Rachel. I don’t want to leave. I never have, but I also thought you respected me more than this.”

  “I do respect you, Ethan, but I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I’m aware of that now.” Every single word came out drowned in tears.

  “I can tell you truly regret what you did. I’m willing to see how this plays out, but I swear to God, Rachel, that I’m not going to let you hurt me again. I may seem cold sometimes, but I have feelings too. I’m not made of wood.”

  “I know you do, Ethan…So, are you willing to try again?”

  “I’m willing to see how it goes. I know our relationship can be good, great really, but this is a lot for me to swallow. Knowing another man touched you, kissed you. I don’t know if it gets me mad, sad or just plain disappointed. You were mine, Rachel…mine. I don’t share what’s mine.”

  At that moment the doctor walked in and I stopped talking.