In Between

by Fernández M. A.

  “Ethan bought me a plane ticket so I could come see you.”

  “He did? He didn’t tell me you knew. I didn’t want you to suffer if you found out…I didn’t want you to see me this way.”

  “Nonsense! You’re my daughter and there is no way in this world where I wouldn’t want to see you.”

  “I know. I just didn’t want you to be sad.”

  “As long as you’re alive and getting better I will always be happy to see you.” She leaned down and gave me a hug making sure to avoid my tubes.

  “So how long are you going to be here?”

  “Just a few days. I don’t know if Ethan told you, but I’m trying to open a flower shop. I’ve always wanted to open one, and I’m in the middle of paperwork, so I can’t stay for long.”

  “Oh my God, Mom, that’s great news. I’m so glad you could come and see us.”

  “Just thank Ethan. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.”

  “Mom, you should see how he’s been with me these past weeks. There hasn’t been a moment when he hasn’t been there for me. He’s bathed me, cooked, cleaned, drained the liquid from my tubes, helped me get dressed, even read to me.”

  “He’s a good man; I can’t wait till you two get married.”

  “Mom, there’s something I want to tell you. I don’t want you to think things are better than they actually are. About six months ago I met a man and things escalated quickly. It really affected my relationship with Ethan.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “He passed away about two weeks ago.”

  “I’m so sorry, Rachel. You know I don’t agree with that type of behavior, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to go through so many painful things so close together.” She hugged me and started moving her hand on my back. “You have no idea how sorry I am. How are you, and I mean how are you really? You can talk to me.”

  She had barely finished talking and I had already started crying. Tears ran down my face completely out of control and my mother just sat in front of me soothing me.

  “Shh...Don’t worry. It will get better. You have a great man. Don’t focus on the past, the future is ahead and it’s up for grabs...you just have to be willing to grasp it. You’re a smart girl, Rachel. You know the right thing to do. I know you will get through this.”

  “You know what gets me really upset, Mom? I cared about him and he played me. He fooled me and used me like a tool. He saw a strong, beautiful, smart young woman and in his mind he knew I would be a great conquest. I do love Ethan. I love Ethan so much, but I felt a connection with Tom that I thought was real. He made me feel that the connection was real. I understand you can lie about the things you like and about loyalty, but I don’t think its possible to fake emotions.”

  “Rachel, some men are cunning and they do that. They lie and lie to us and they show emotions that really don’t exist in their hearts.”

  “I understand that...but Mom, you should have seen the way he looked at me. His eyes were filled with so much love, and it wasn’t like our relationship was just physical. It went so much further. He would tell me about his family, take me to places that were important to him, he would lie awake with me for hours and just play with my hand while we talked for hours. In the beginning we would talk so much and every word he would pronounce would be filled with joy. We built a relationship. I know it was wrong since I was with Ethan, but I was thinking of leaving Ethan. But then I found out about all the lies he told me...including that I was the only one for him.”

  “I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I’m also glad. You would have stayed there and he would have destroyed you.”

  “I already feel destroyed...I feel like life is just not worth...like if the cancer should have taken my life.”

  “Don’t you ever say that,” she said with a rise in her voice. “You are a special woman and don’t let what one man did to you tear you down. Your fight is not over. You have a great man waiting for you, helping you at every step.”

  “You know what’s the worst part? I hate that I love him when I want to him hate him. But I can’t even do that because he’s dead and it’s my fault because he died for looking at me while driving...If only I wouldn’t have fought with him inside the car-- he would still be alive.”

  “That is not your fault. You had no control over that, so stop acting like you did. Focus on what you can control. Ethan is right outside waiting for you to love him again. Are you willing to forget your past and live a happy life with a wonderful man? Or are you going to wallow in your past for the rest of your life?”

  Chapter thirty-nine

  Ethan

  Just as Rachel’s mom came to see us she also left...very quickly… but it seemed to do Rachel a lot of good. She started eating more and seemed a lot happier after a few weeks. A few days after Rachel’s mom left we went to the hospital to get Rachel’s tubes removed The doctor said everything looked fine and that the cancer had no signs of returning, which meant she could return to her normal life. The next day we both started working again, which we had both missed greatly after being stuck in a house for a few weeks. About two months passed and I could feel things getting better between us. Rachel was more open and she wasn’t crying as much as before at night, until it finally stopped.

  “ Rachel?” I said one said one day to her in bed.

  “Yes?”

  “Did you notice you haven’t been crying anymore? Does that mean you’re happy again?”

  “That means I know what was right and what was wrong.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I’m aware I made a mistake and I left it in the past. That I love you and only you.”

  I stared at her in disbelief. I had waited for months to hear these words from her and I my mind wasn’t processing.

  “I’m saying I am happy with you and know that our problems weren’t all your fault. You were trying but I was on defense and wouldn’t let you try. However, I now understand I was wrong, but mostly I’m saying I want your forgiveness.”

  “Rachel you’ve had my forgiveness for months. I just wanted to know if you still loved me and you do. Oh my God, Rachel, you do.”

  He pulled me toward him and lifted me up slightly, then put me back down and kissed me like he had never kissed me before. So much love ran through his lips his finger locked under my hair and he pulled me close tighter, faster and harder. He kissed me under my ear and slowly started making his way toward my shoulder, marking every spot with a tender kiss. I laughed and slowly pulled away.

  “Ethan, can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “Do you still want to marry me?”

  “There is nothing in this world I want more.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m so sure that if you want we can still get married on June 21st.”

  “That’s in a little less than 4 months,” I said, shocked.

  “Well, I guess we have a lot of work to do.”

  “You’re crazy. Do you know that?”

  “I’m sure you’re the only person I want to be with and that’s what really matters.

  The next months were extremely stressful but also so much fun! We had so little time to get everything ready, which made it a challenge, but Ethan and I both love a good challenge. We decided to make the wedding colors burgundy and silver since we wanted to have an elegant wedding. We hired a pianist, a violinist and a saxophone player. The cake we chose had four tiers getting smaller from bottom to top with burgundy ribbons at the bottom of each tier. We tried to go as healthy as we could with the food. For appetizers we picked low calories, low fat or fruits. After a discussing who would walk me down the aisle we decided the best choice was my mom, since we wouldn’t have made it so far if it weren’t for her. My brother and his brother would be one of the best men, while my best friend Linda would be the maid of honor. They all complied. Then I started picking dresses with Linda for the other maids.

&n
bsp; When we finally had all the dresses we started looking for mine. I looked in store after store and couldn’t find the one that screamed my name. The wedding was now a month away and I still couldn’t find a wedding dress. One day I was walking by a wedding dress store and I saw a beautiful dress in the window. It was strapless, simple and elegant with a silver strap around the waist. The skirt gradually opened until at the bottom it was wide. The fabric was soft yet rough at the same time. It was just like me. The dress was perfect, and now that I had the dress I was ready to get married.

  The month passed, and the next thing I knew I was standing in a room waiting for the wedding to begin. These months had been extremely stressful, looking for everything last minute, but at last we were able to find everything. Now here I was as nervous as I had ever been just waiting to be told to come out. My mom walked in the room and hugged me.

  “Oh, sweetie, you look beautiful,” she said.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “I’m so glad you made the right choice. I always knew you would.”

  “So you always wanted me to marry Ethan?”

  “Yes, I did. Ethan is a great man who loves you dearly. I’m glad you were able to notice it before it was too late.”

  “So am I. Our relationship was not easy. I made so many mistakes and even now from time to time I can feel some love for Tom, but nothing like the love I have for Ethan. He has become my everything. He loved me in the most difficult moments and gave me all of his time. When I least deserved it he gave me his forgiveness, but most of all he showed me how a true man behaves, without reservations or lies. Ethan made me comprehend that although someone could just be a chapter in your book you have the power to make them your whole book and even keep making sequels.”

  Alex walked in telling us it was time for me to go get my man. He always had such a way with words, it just amazed me.

  “We’ll be out in a moment,” my mother said.

  Alex walked out and my nerves grew a little more each second.

  “I’m so nervous, Mom. I don’t think I can do this. Just walk out in front of so many people and confess my love, with everybody staring at me. You know how much I hate that.”

  “Oh, baby, we’ve all been through that, so don’t worry. Besides, every single person out there wants what’s best for you. And remember, if you ever have doubts you know how good of a man Ethan is and how much he loves you. Just think back to this moment and all those words you said about him. At the end of everything you are the one with the power to write yourself a happy ending.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said, hugging her, tears running down my face.

  “Don’t you go crying now,” she said, wiping my tears. “You don’t want to ruin your makeup.”

  I laughed softly and we walked outside the door where Alex was waiting for us.

  “Everything ok, sis?”

  “Everything’s perfect.”

  “You ready to have your own little game over?”

  I smiled at him and said, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  “Let’s go then.”

  We walked out of the main house and onto the pasture of the field where I was going to get married. At the end of the house we turned left and surely there was Ethan waiting for me, a smile on his face as soon as he saw me. He looked dashing in his suit, but I could tell he was as nervous as I was. The wedding march started playing and I walked slowly, Alex’s arm hooked on mine. We were walking so slowly and all I wanted to do was sprint and get it over with. After what seemed like an eternity I finally reached Ethan.

  But before Alex handed me to Ethan he leaned close to my ear and said, “It’s not too late, you know. You can still run.”

  “Oh shut up,” I said, bumping him with my elbow.

  “I’m just saying,” he said, passing his hand softly over the back of his head. He hugged me and said, “I love you, sis.” He then put my hand in Ethan’s and looked him straight in the eye. “You better not hurt her.”

  “You have my word,” Ethan said.

  He hooked his arm in mine and asked, “What was that about?”

  “Just Alex being Alex,” I said with a smile.

  We stood in front of each other, ready to commit, and then the pastor started to speak.

  Chapter forty

  Ethan

  As soon as she was in my sight, my heart started beating faster. Everything about her screamed beauty. I couldn’t remember a moment when she looked more like an angel than at this moment. To think that I almost lost her because I was always so preoccupied with work. But at a certain moment I noticed work was nothing if she wasn’t there to share everything. She deserved so much more than I was giving her and I would make it my life’s mission to give her everything she truly deserved. I was so anxious to have her in my arms again I just wanted her to reach me. Then she was facing me, and we were finally going to say our vows. The pastor started talking, but I couldn’t focus on anything but her.

  “You look beautiful,” I whispered to her. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” she whispered back.

  “Now for the vows,” the pastor said. “Ethan, would you like to go first?”

  I pulled out a piece of paper and started unfolding it but then put it away.

  “I had written something down, but you have always been the one who is good at expressing your feelings on paper. Since the moment we first started our relationship, I knew I would want to spend the rest of our lives together. I could see your worth, and I could always see how special you are. It may seem foolish but right from the get-go I loved you and I would do anything for you. I made my share of mistakes and maybe even took you for granted, but on this day in front of all of our friends and family I promise you I will be the man you need me to be. I will be there for you every single moment of our lives together. In sickness and in health, during the great times and during the bad times, I promise you I will always be there and I will give you all the love you need. I will be your other half.”

  “Rachel,” the pastor said.

  She looked down at the paper in her hands and started reading.

  “Our relationship has always been one I didn’t know how to describe...so weird and yet so perfect. Filled with so much love yet with moments that tested our patience. Our minds were young when we started this journey. At moments we were naive but now we have developed and so has our love.”

  She looked up at me and said, “I have never loved anyone the way I have loved you, so unconditionally. That’s why on this day I have no other desire but to give myself to you in marriage. For this I promise to you just the way you have promised to me to always be by your side. To love you and only you, to give you my everything and be your everything.”

  “Do you Ethan Callum take Rachel Scott to be your lawfully wedded wife, until death do you part?”

  “I do,” I said.

  “Do you Rachel Scott take Ethan Callum to be your lawfully wedded husband, until death do you part?

  “I do,” she said.

  The End

  Epilogue

  10 years later

  I walked over to where Ethan was sitting on the couch and sat next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. I looked into his eyes and passed my hand softly on his face.

  “I love you each day more than the day I married you.”

  “I love you too, honey. I wouldn’t have wanted to marry anyone else.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me. All the love he always said he had for me I could feel in this one kiss.

  “Eww! Can you guys kiss somewhere else?” said our 9-year-old Alexander.

  To which our 7-year-old Sophia replied, “They’re in love,” and clasped her hands to her face. “Can you see that?”

  “They’ve been married for 10 years. How in love can you be? Ugh!”

  “I think it’s adorable. I want to be just like them when I grow up.”

  “You’re such a girl,” he said, pulling her hair.

/>   “You’re such a boy,” she said, punching him.

  “Ok, you two. Enough! Time for bed.”

  “Ahh, do we have to?” they said in unison.

  “Yes. Now say good night to Daddy and go brush your teeth.”

  They each said goodnight to Ethan and gave him a hug, then headed for the bathroom. After they brushed their teeth I tucked Sophia in and then Alexander. I was leaving Alexander’s room when he called me.

  “Mom?”

  “Yes?” I walked over to him.

  “Do you think I will look at a girl one day the way Daddy looks at you?”

  “One day you’ll be just as loving as Daddy and you’ll find a great girl for you.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so.” I kissed his forehead then started to walk out of his room.

  “Mom?”

  “Yes?”

  “I love you.”

  “ I love you too.”

  I made my way back to Ethan and sat on his lap.

  “Are the kids asleep?”

  “Yes, they are.”

  “Well then,” he said, kissing me intensely, “I believe you deserve that.”

  “For what?”

  “For choosing me so many years ago, for not letting a memory dictate to you, but most of all for being willing to dance this eternal dance with me. I love you, Mrs. Callum.

  “I love you, Mr. Callum.” Our lips locked, ending our night the way most of our nights did.

  About the Author

  Marlin Alicea Fernández was born and raised in Arecibo PR. She began writing poetry at the age of 13 and with the passing of time started working on manuscripts. She completed her first manuscript at the age of 20, which is the book you will be reading shortly. Marlin is a Psychology BA graduate and Business Administration MA graduate. She is currently coursing her first year of a Doctorate program in Clinical Psychology. However Marlin’s passion has always been writing, and she hopes to bring you many more books in the future.