The Daughters of Julian Dane

by Lucile McCluskey

  “That’s just it!” she blurted out. “My daddy is not my daddy!” She saw the surprised look on Donnie’s face. “What would you do if you just found out that your daddy was not your daddy, that he married your mother knowing that she was already pregnant by another man?” There was a catch in her throat. She put her hand over her mouth to hold back the sobs.

  For a moment Donnie didn’t say anything, then he laughed a small, cynical laugh. “Boy! That’s a switch from my old man. You just found out, huh? How?”

  Addie swallowed hard, then looking out at the swirling rain, said, “They were arguing last night in the kitchen when they thought I was asleep. My room is next to the kitchen. I’ve never heard them argue like that before.” She paused. “I found out then.”

  They sat in silence a few moments, then Donnie said quietly, “All my folks ever did was argue. But it wouldn’t bother me to learn that Gerald isn’t my father. He’s never been much of one to me anyhow. My gramps, his dad, has been the closest thing to a dad that I’ve ever known. I used to wonder if gramps was just trying to make it up to me for his son, but I know that gramps loves me, and ....” he paused. He reached over and took Addie’s hand, and she looked up at him. “Addie, that’s all that matters – whether or not somebody loves you.” he said slowly, almost to himself, almost as if he wondered if he was loved anymore, by anyone, Addie thought to herself.

  “Ben loves you, Addie,” he said softly. “Anybody can see that. And when you come right down to it, which is more important – the guy who put the sperm inside your mom, or the one who loved her enough to marry her and take care of the two of you before you came into this world. Ben probably walked the floor waiting for you to be born just as though he was your dad. And he’s worked to provide for you all these years, took care of you when you were sick, probably changed your diapers, and fed you in the middle of the night, and walked the floor with you when you didn’t sleep nights. No, Addie,” he continued slowly, “regardless of how you feel about it right now, when you’ve had time to think it through, you’ll know that Ben is your real dad.”

  Addie was hanging onto Donnie’s every word – words that were helping to heal the hurt. Somehow, she knew that what he was saying was exactly what she would have reasoned out for herself in time – probably a very long, painful period of time. Yes. She was sure of it, and she was grateful to him. Still, it hurt. It hurt like nothing had ever hurt before in her whole life, and it would take some time adjusting to it.

  “You asked me what I’d do,” Donnie continued as he placed her hand back in her lap. “Well, if I were you, and Ben didn’t know that I knew – I’d never let him know it. I’m sure neither of your parents wants you to know it. I think you’re mighty lucky to have Ben for a father. And I think your mom was probably very grateful to Ben for marrying her knowing that she was carrying another man’s child. I’d say not many men would have. Ben must love your mother an awful lot.”

  “I know you’re right, Donnie,” Addie said meekly, looking out at the rain. “I just hadn’t had time to think it through. Thank you for doing it for me, and thanks for letting me talk. I needed it,” She said, forcing a weak smile.

  She looked at him. He was smiling at her. It was the first time she had seen him smile. Although his skin was fair, not tan like her daddy’s, his white, even teeth were a beautiful contrast, and it was such a nice smile. It seemed to light up her whole life like a small ray of sunshine peeping through the darkness that had threatened to engulf her. She was so grateful to him. She wanted to do something to express her gratitude, but she couldn’t think of anything. “I feel lots better now,” she said with a smile.

  “I guess we all need someone to share our problems with sometimes. Ben let me talk to him last night when we should have been working. It helped me. I think my head is on a lot straighter today because of it.”

  “I’m glad. My daddy really is a wonderful person. He’s the best dad anybody could have.”

  Donnie winked his approval at her, and she smiled.

  “What did you mean when you said that’s a switch from my old man?” she asked him.

  “Oh, nothing. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “I confided in you,” she reminded him.

  He shook his head. “It’s just that my dad is on his third time around marrying women he’s gotten pregnant. His first marriage took place the night he graduated from high school. That one had two kids by him before she divorced him. Then he had to marry my mom. She lost the one she was carrying when they got married, but then I was born the next year.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Then one Saturday morning three years ago, he came in after being out all night, and told my mom the woman he was seeing was pregnant and she wanted five thousand dollars. My mom told him that a divorce and a marriage license was cheaper, and she packed his clothes.”

  “Oh, that’s terrible that he would do your mom that way. And you don’t sound like it bothered you very much.”

  “It didn’t. He was just somebody who came in a few times a week to sleep, eat, and change clothes. I think even gramps had given up on him. He couldn’t stand the way he treated us. My dad should have been more like his father.

  “Gramps is the one who took care of me through all my childhood illnesses while mom worked the night shift at the hospital. She’s an LPN,” he added. “Gramps taught me how to skate and ride a bike – he even taught me about the birds and the bees, and I pretended I didn’t know,” he chuckled. “He even coached me on how to treat a girl on a date.” He paused and was examining the rain coming down in a slow sprinkle now. The traffic was resuming its normal speed. He started the truck’s motor. “I shouldn’t be telling you all this, but you’re easy to talk to like your dad,” he said as he drove the truck from the overhang and waited to move into the line of traffic.

  “Where were you going?” he asked.

  “To the Log House Restaurant.”

  “What?” That’s another three miles or more from here!” he exclaimed as he moved the truck into an open space.

  “I know, but I have to go,” she said quietly.

  He glanced at her and waited. “Something tells me you’re not going to tell me why.” When she didn’t say anything, he gave a light shrug of his shoulders, and said, “I’m delivering a couple of mirrors to Stonegate. I can take you there afterwards. In fact, I had thought of going to the Log House for breakfast. I saw an ad that says they have an all you can eat breakfast bar for $3.89 this week. As hungry as I am, I don’t believe they’ve got as much food as I could eat right now. Uncle Nate gave me five bucks, and I thought I’d blow it eating. I don’t think I’ve had enough to eat since I’ve been in this town. Have you had breakfast?”

  “Just a banana and milk. I’m hungry too. I didn’t eat supper last night.” She thought of the twenty in her billfold.

  “Well, I could get us sausage and biscuits, and milk,” he said.

  “Oh, no. I have some money,” she hastily added. “I still have the twenty that was in my Christmas stocking. I want to buy your breakfast to show my appreciation for ...”

  “No way,” he said. “I buy my own. I just wish I could buy yours too. I’ve got the money Ben paid me, but I have to spend that for jeans and a shirt. If I can find a sale.”

  He said it with such finality that it seemed best not to press the matter, besides, a very concerned look had come over his face that caused Addie to wonder.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment, giving his attention to his driving and the traffic. Then, “I have this one little problem,” he said and paused.

  Addie waited for him to continue. It was as though he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue what he had started to say.

  He let out a big sigh, “My Aunt Mel didn’t exactly welcome me with open arms, and she laid down some very strict ground rules.” He paused again. “One is no dating, and no being alone with a girl anywhere, anytime.”

  “You’re kidding!”

  “N
o. And she thinks she has good reason for such rules.” He looked at Addie. “But don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe with me.”

  “I didn’t think I wasn’t, but I do think that’s awfully unfair of your aunt.”

  “And you wonder why?”

  “Well, yeah, I guess I do.”

  “My mom got married again right after Christmas, and I went to stay with my dad for a while - just until mom and Joe got settled in Florida where he had a new job. Again, I wasn’t welcomed with open arms by Sharon, my dad’s wife.

  “She has a fourteen year old hot as ... pants, who was always trying to come onto me. One day her mother caught her in the act, and she claimed I was trying to seduce her. Sharon didn’t believe her, but she pretended to. She told my dad I couldn’t be trusted in the house with her innocent, little girl any longer.”

  Addie watched his face as he talked, looking straight at the road. Now he turned and looked at her with a question in his eyes. “I believe you,” she said.

  “I’m glad somebody does, especially you. Aunt Mel doesn’t.”

  Addie felt that now familiar tingle again and smiled at him.

  “Aunt Mel is my dad’s sister,” he continued, “and the only place left for me to go. There was an automobile accident, and mom is in a hospital in Florida. Joe took off when he was told how serious mom’s injuries are. So, you see, I have to toe the line.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. Is your mom going to be all right?”

  “Gramps and I hope so. She has to get back the use of her legs. She’s in therapy now. We hope she’ll be walking again soon.”

  “Oh, I hope so too, Addie said seriously. “And, Donnie, I wouldn’t do anything to cause you trouble. If you’ll stop and get my bike out, I’ll get to the Log House by myself. It’s stopped raining, and it’s not much farther from here.”

  “No,” he said flatly. “We’ll be there by eight, and when we get there, I’ll get your bike out and park it beside the building, or on the porch. You can go in first. When I come in, we’ll act like we just happened to be there at the same time.”

  “Oh, Donnie, are you sure?”

  “It’ll be okay,” he assured her. “It’s too early for anybody we know to be out. I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I wanted you to know why I may act a little strange sometimes.”

  “Maybe your Aunt Mel will change her mind.”

  “Not likely, but gramps is coming in tonight. I might get him to put in a good word for me.”

  “You love your grandfather very much, don’t you?”

  “Yeah. And I miss him. I haven’t seen him since mom’s wedding. I wanted to stay with him when they left. Then I could have commuted to my school for the rest of the year, but the manager of the apartments where gramps lives said the rules wouldn’t allow it. It’s one of those government places for senior citizens.

  “I’m picking him up at six at the bus station. He’s on his way to see my mom. If he can talk Aunt Mel into letting her stay while she takes her physical therapy, then he’ll bring her back here. We have to do something soon because of her insurance.”

  “Do you think the Johnsons will let her come?”

  “Oh, Uncle Nate wouldn’t mind. He’s a pretty regular guy, but Aunt Mel?” He paused and shook his head, “That’s anybody’s guess. She’s the boss in that house, and what she says goes – money and everything else. That’s my only hope – money. I’ve told gramps to tell her that I’ll work for Uncle Nate until we’ve paid her back whatever she thinks it’s worth.”

  Addie looked at Donnie with admiration. “Surely, she’ll let her come.”

  “I hope so, Addie, because we have no place else to go. So you can see why I have to do exactly as Aunt Mel says for mom’s sake. Gramps and I have to take care of her now, and hope the day will soon come when she can again take care of herself.”

  Addie thought how mature he seemed for his seventeen years, and that’s all he could be since he was a junior in high school. They were driving up to the big iron gates with the emblem ‘S’ for Stonegate on each one.

  “Wow!” Donnie exclaimed. “Would you look at those gates?” They were as tall as the truck, made of black wrought iron, and each one rounded on top. He looked around. “Uncle Nate said I’d be expected and to just stop and wait.”

  Slowly, the huge iron gates began to swing back on curved, metal tracks in the concrete driveway. Then a small, stooped, gray haired little man appeared in the doorway of the gray stone cottage to the left, just inside the gates. He waved his arm.

  “I guess that means for us to go in,” Donnie said as he slowly moved the truck through the gates and on up the rise of the circular drive to the big, square, gray stone mansion that was Stonegate.

  Addie looked around with a strange sensation beginning to mount in her. “I feel like I’ve been here before,” she said.

  “Well, that puts you among the fortunate few, according to Aunt Mel.”

  “Not this way though,” she murmured.

  “Huh? “ Donnie said. “Are you talking to yourself?”

  Addie didn’t answer. She was busy searching – for what, she didn’t know. When Donnie stopped the truck in front of the high, marble steps to the porch, Addie studied the tall, dark wood door with its brass knocker, but it wasn’t familiar. So why did she feel like she’d been here before? She wondered, and shivered.

  “You okay, Addie? Are you cold?”

  “Yes. I’m okay. It’s just that I have a funny feeling ... There’s a big bedroom upstairs,” she muttered slowly. “The headboard of the bed is very high, rounded on the top with a lot of carving. There’s a woman in the bed, and she’s sick. And there are two glass doors that open onto a small balcony ...”

  “Addie!” Donnie called loudly.

  She looked at him as though she had forgotten that he was there.

  “You looked so strange. You’re not going to start screaming again, are you?”

  “No! No. Nothing here frightens me.”

  “I’m sorry, but the way you looked – I wouldn’t know what to do if you became hysterical again. Look, this won’t take but a few minutes. I gotta put these mirrors just inside the door, as per my instructions. Then we can go eat. I’m starving.”

  “Me too,” she answered slowly, apologetically.

  Still, she stared at the entrance of Stonegate trying to justify her feelings that she was very familiar with the inside of the mansion. She knew that she, Adelaide Martin, had never been inside Stonegate. Was it the little girl, who shared her mind and memory, who knew what the Stonegate mansion was like on the inside? It had to be, but what connection could the little girl have had with the Stone family? She wondered.

  As Donnie tended to the mirrors, she took out the picture and looked at it. Who are you, or who were you? She asked silently. What would a person, who lived on South Street, be doing at Stonegate – in a bedroom at Stonegate? Who was the sick lady that she had just seen? Don’t I have any control over my own life anymore? She asked silently, as she wearily closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the seat. Then she saw it! There was another gate, a small iron gate facing the back of a small, stone house like the one at the entrance. Then she was inside the small house, standing there, holding someone’s hand – a big hand. She felt a little bit afraid – afraid someone would find them there. The door opened. A woman came slowly, feebly, through the door, and she ran to meet her.

  Addie, was startled by the truck door being yanked open.

  “That’s it! Now we eat!” Donnie exclaimed.

  She looked at him. For a moment, he looked like a perfect stranger to her.

  “Addie, are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Oh, ... yes,” she answered hesitantly. “I think I almost drifted off to sleep. I didn’t do much sleeping last night.”

  “I can understand that, but some good hot food will wake you up.” He put the truck in motion and they headed back down the circular drive toward the gates.

&
nbsp; “Donnie!” Addie exclaimed. “Is that the roof of a house? Look over there!” She was pointing left to the treetops that showed above a point where the land dropped off sharply.

  “Looks like it. Probably a gardener’s cottage, or something like the gate keeper’s cottage.

  “Yeah,” Addie agreed, deep in thought. And as they passed through the gates, she asked, “Can we turn left here?”

  “But the road doesn’t go anyplace. You can see where it stops there at the corner of the fence.”

  “I know. Those woods over there are where the kids come to park. Please,” she begged. “I need to see something.”

  He was looking at her. “Have you been there to park?”

  “No!” she exclaimed, but was happy that he had asked.

  “Well, okay, but we can’t take long.” He turned the truck left and drove about a thousand feet to where the road ended and the tall, iron fence that circled Stonegate turned.

  As soon as the truck stopped, Addie jumped out and ran down an overgrown, graveled driveway that had at one time been a black top. It ran parallel to the fence.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Donnie called after her, as he jumped out of the truck to follow.

  Addie didn’t wait. She felt like she knew exactly where she was going, as though she had been there before. Soon she would see the small stone cottage through the trees and brush that had grown up between the gravel drive and the fence. She was sure of it.

  Donnie caught up with her just as she spotted the cottage. “There it is!” she exclaimed breathlessly and began to wind her way between the wet foliage to get to the fence. “There’s a gate here somewhere,” she explained. “I’ve got to find it.”

  “Why?” Donnie asked.

  “I don’t know. Just to know it’s here, I guess. There! See!” And there it was, just as she had seen it. It was not tall, and it had not been painted anytime recently. It was rusted in places. She tried to open it. It was locked with a big, black, metal lock made into the gate. She closed her eyes. There was something she had to see. A Key. A key was hidden just for them.