She took a deep breath. “Beginning of summer. I had gone into the school to talk about getting on the volleyball team and a few other things. I bumped into him when I left; he had finished soccer practice.”
Part of me didn’t want to hear the rest of this, but part of me had to know. “When did you two start dating? Did you know about me?”
Lissi sucked her bottom lip before continuing. “It wasn’t right away. We just talked at first. I didn’t know anyone else here, and he was someone to hang out with, but it grew into more. I didn’t know about you. Not initially, but…” She looked away. “He kissed me, or started to, before he pulled away. He said he had a girlfriend, but that it was over, and that he was planning to end it, but wanted to do it in person. He said you were at camp, and that it wasn’t fair to do it over the phone. He said he was going to do it when you got back.”
Marc couldn’t do it on the phone, but he could in the middle of a crowded diner? I had a pit in my stomach, and it was growing. “He didn’t, though. We hung out when I got back, and the whole first week of school, he never said anything. Not one word about you or breaking up. He pretended everything was the way it always had been.”
Lissi nodded. “I know. He was trying to find the right time. We fought about it. I told him it wasn’t fair, to you or me, and that he had to tell you or I was done.”
I didn’t know what to say. How long would he have strung me … us … along?
“I’m really sorry,” she said.
“You should be!” Jemma shouted.
I got up and opened my door. “Go!” I shouted back, and slammed the door shut again.
I shook my head. “I swear.”
“It’s nice,” Lissi said. “She’s trying to protect you.”
At least Jemma had managed to break the tension—momentarily, anyway. I still had questions that needed answers.
I sat back down and looked Lissi straight in the eyes. “There were pictures of me and Marc all over the place. You never friended him on GroupIt or followed any of his pages?” I asked. “You would have seen us. Why would you want someone who cheated on his girlfriend?”
She swallowed. “I saw pictures of you, but I thought they were from the past or that you were just one of his BFFs. I guess I didn’t really think about it … or didn’t want to. When he said something, it was kind of too late. I liked him. A lot. And I didn’t know you. It wasn’t like we were friends. Plus, he told me that even if I hadn’t been in the picture, he wanted to end things with you, and I believed him.”
That one hurt. He would have ended things anyway? Was that true or was it just something he had told her? Either way, it sucked.
This isn’t Lissi’s fault, I reminded myself.
Still … I let out a long breath.
“I wish it didn’t happen this way,” she said.
That made two of us.
“And you know,” she said, giving me a hopeful smile, “my aunt married my mom’s ex-boyfriend and they all get along great, so it can happen. Maybe we can, too.” She held up crossed fingers.
She was trying, I’d give her that.
“I guess you never know,” I said. I wasn’t on board with the idea, but I wasn’t going to write it off, either. I wasn’t sure what else to say, so Lissi and I got back to focusing on the yearbook.
It was still weird, but it felt more relaxed.
We worked steadily for two hours. We kept the conversation to the task at hand, and then Lissi’s phone rang.
“Sorry,” she said, fumbling to turn it off.
I recognized the ringtone. “Is that ‘Alfie’s Song (Not So Typical Love Song)’?”
She shrugged. “Yeah, I may be a little obsessed with Love, Simon.”
“Oh my God. I love that movie. I’m the biggest rom-com fan you’ll ever meet.”
“Yeah?” She smiled. “Me too. I can’t get enough. Movies, TV shows, books, you name it. I even got the romance package on Audible, and I try to squeeze it in whenever I can, including when I walk from one class to the next.”
“That is such a good idea.” I’d been wasting so much time not doing that.
For the next hour we wound up talking about our favorite books and movies.
When she left, I pulled up Lissi’s GroupIt page. The anger and the resentment I’d felt for the past couple of months had evaporated.
My finger hovered over the friend-request icon.
I pushed it.
A couple of minutes later, a new notification popped up.
It said: You and Lissi Crandall are now friends.
I smiled. Sometimes life had ways of surprising you.
Chapter 37
On Tuesday, I made it through another school day without hanging out with Terri and Grace. We texted a little, but it was just making sure everything was good to go for the get-Terri’s-parents-to-support-art-school plan. Grace said she’d dropped all the artwork at the restaurant last night (she raided the Marins’ basement while Terri was on a date), and Terri confirmed (again) that she and her parents would be attending—even though they still had no idea exactly what they had RSVP’d to (Grace had remained pretty tight-lipped when Mr. Marin questioned why she needed the art—only giving away that it was part of the surprise). Other than that, we didn’t communicate at all.
Despite everything, I was still excited for the show. Terri and the rest of the Marins weren’t getting to the restaurant until six that night. Grace and Luke were getting there at five to help set up, but I got there at four. I figured I could get everything done before they arrived and avoid any awkwardness.
After I’d hung one last painting on the wall, I stood in the center of the room and admired the display.
I covered my mouth with my hand. The place looked amazing. Terri was sooo talented. Her parents had to let her pursue her passion. She was too good to give up her dreams.
I checked the time. It was almost five. I ducked out of the restaurant and didn’t come back until just before six.
“Cam!” Grace said when I walked back in.
“Hi.”
She bit her lip. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah. After.” I pointed outside. “I want to wait for the Marins. Escort them in.”
Grace didn’t object, but it looked like she wanted to. It killed me to keep being so short with her, but I had to be. I didn’t want to break down; I needed to pull it together for Terri. Today was about her and her art, not me and my drama.
Terri and her family showed up right on time. I donned my biggest smile and brought them inside.
Luke and Grace were waiting by the entrance to the back room.
“What’s this all about?” Mr. Marin asked.
“Welcome to Terri’s first art show,” I said.
Luke gestured for them to go in. We all followed.
Terri spun around, looking at all of us—and at all her pieces placed around the room. The expression on her face didn’t disappoint. It was better than I’d imagined. It was astonishment, pride, confusion, and happiness, all rolled together. Her mouth opened as if she was going to say something, but no words came out. For once in her life, Terri didn’t have anything to say. She was speechless.
I handed her and her parents a little booklet. The cover had one of her paintings, an intricate piece composed of thousands of dots that she’d made in art class. Underneath it was the date, location, and name of the event: Terri Marin Art Show: An Exhibition of New Work.
“You guys should walk around, take a look at everything,” I told them.
We had picked a variety of pieces: watercolors, portraits, abstracts, and sculptures. Her family had seen most of them before, but not presented like this. This was striking.
“Cam,” Terri said, stepping closer, but I didn’t let her finish. “Go,” I whispered. “Give your parents a tour. Really show them how important this is to you. And make them read the signs and look at the booklet.”
She looked stunned, but then took them to the first piece. It
was a realistic-looking sculpture of a woman’s head. Next to each piece was a sign with careers you could end up with when you had skills like Terri’s. For that particular sculpture’s sign I’d written about the movie Ant-Man. Dating Spence had proved valuable in the end. After we’d watched Ant-Man, he’d shown me how they often used models to make the main character look big or small.
Terri said her parents’ main argument for not wanting her to go to an art school was that they were afraid she wouldn’t get a good job. They wanted her to have something to fall back on. So I’d decided to highlight work you could get because of the arts.
I’d included a lot of possibilities: website designer, graphic designer, cartoonist, animator, artistic director at an ad agency or publishing company, video-game designer. Making logos for brands, covers for books, and on and on.
In the booklet I also wrote about how Terri would learn new skills like 3-D rendering and 3-D printing and be ready to jump into new markets.
I included a story told by Jim Carrey, where he talked about how his father didn’t follow his own dream of being a comedian. He went with the “safe job” and became an accountant. He got fired. I thought the quote from Carrey was pretty powerful. He said, “I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which is that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
Then, on the very last page, I reminded them that if the liberal arts were that important to them, they should let her apply to RISD—that students there could cross-register for classes at Brown.
I hoped it would help Terri’s case.
Her parents spent a good half hour walking around and taking everything in. We all watched them in silence, hoping they’d let their daughter follow her calling.
Mrs. Marin tapped the program. “We’ll look at this in more detail when we get home. You certainly gave us a lot to consider.”
“The evening’s not over,” Luke said. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to your table for dinner, courtesy of the restaurant.”
“Luke!” Terri said. “You don’t have to do that.”
“You’re one of my best friends and this is your first gallery show. Yes, I do.” He winked at her. “Consider it your birthday, Christmas, and graduation present.”
“It’s too much,” she said. “We can’t accept it.”
“You better,” Luke said, laughing. “I agreed to work New Year’s Eve to make this happen—don’t make it be for nothing. Paisley will destroy us both.”
“Thank you,” she said, and kissed him on his cheek. Then she turned to her parents. “Mom, Dad, can you go with Luke? I’ll be there in a minute.”
They followed him out.
Grace, Terri, and I were left in the gallery.
“You guys,” Terri said, tears flowing down her face. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m taking it those are happy tears?” Grace asked.
“Yes.” Terri’s voice was quiet. “Why—how—when did you do this?” she stammered.
“Why?” I answered. “Because we love you, and we said we would help convince your parents.”
She wiped her eyes. “I should have expected the queen of rom-com to pull off a grand gesture like this.” Terri fanned herself with the booklet to quell her tears. It didn’t work.
“My parents said they’re amazed by how much you all care about me, but I’m not. I knew. I’ve always known.”
Grace sniffled, tears rolling down her face, too. “Same here.” She turned to me. “Cam, I never thought you were a bad friend. Please don’t think that. I was just stupid. I thought I was making things easier for you.”
Now I was crying, too. “But first Marc was keeping things from me, then you. I don’t know … it made me feel like I wasn’t enough and that you thought going after some guy meant more to me than you did.”
She shook her head. “Never.” She gave me a hug, and Terri wrapped her arms around us both. “I mean it.”
“Me too,” Terri said. “This not-talking has been killing me. I need my Cam updates.”
“And I need you guys,” I said. We were still standing there, arms wrapped around one another, crying. It was a good thing we were in a private room; we probably would have freaked out the rest of the restaurant.
I looked at Grace. “You know I want you to be happy, right? I’m excited for you and Derrick. I want to hear the details and all of that.”
“I know, and you will. I’m sorry. Are we okay?” Grace asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Just promise no more secrets.”
“I promise,” Grace said, letting go and wiping her eyes.
“Well…,” Terri said, stepping back. “If we’re doing no more secrets, I guess we should let you in on one more thing.”
My stomach rolled. “What?”
Terri jumped up and down.
My queasiness gave way to curiosity. The way she was acting, it definitely didn’t seem like it would be a bad revelation.
“We have a surprise. We’ve been working with your parents to let us go on a girls’ weekend to New York City over Thanksgiving weekend,” she squealed. “We’ll get to look at colleges for you, hang out, see the city.”
I covered my face with my hands; the tears were coming faster now. “You didn’t.”
“We did,” Grace said, squeezing my shoulder. “Guess you’re not the only one who knows how to do a grand gesture.”
Chapter 38
Marc walked out of the art room right as I passed by at the end of the day on Friday. I could feel his eyes on me.
“What?” I stopped and turned to him.
“Nothing.”
Ever since the bonfire, I’d caught him looking at me all the time. At lunch, in the halls, even in the parking lot. “I’ve seen you more the past couple of weeks than I have the last two months. What gives? Why do you keep watching me?”
“I’m not.” He rubbed his neck. Something was up. I peeked inside the art room. Ms. Winters and the rest of the class had already cleared out, so I pulled Marc inside.
“You are. What is it?” It felt strange being in a room with Marc, just him and me. It used to feel so natural; now it felt off.
“Look, Cam, I’m sorry.”
Now he was apologizing? I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything.
He sat down on one of the stools. “I shouldn’t have handled things like I did.”
I thought I was finally over the breakup, over him, but the tears that stung at my eyes were telling another story.
“You cheated on me.”
“No, it wasn’t like that. I just wanted to break it off in person. I owed you that.”
I sank onto the stool next to him and snorted. “Yeah, and that’s why you didn’t say anything when I got back from camp or the first days of school?”
He bit the inside of his cheek. “You were in such a good mood when you got back, and it was … I don’t know. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Good job there.”
Marc looked up at me. “I shouldn’t have done it at the diner. I was scared; I thought it would be easier.”
I worked to keep my voice even. “You were a coward.”
He nodded. “I never meant for any of it to happen. I just met Lissi and she was so…” He stopped himself.
“So … what?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me,” I pressed. “I want to know.”
“Fine.” He massaged his neck. “She was different. Passionate about everything. Getting on the volleyball team, going to college back in New Hampshire, all the things she used to do at her old school.”
“And you didn’t think I was passionate? Did you not see me at your games? Or working my butt off to get into Columbia. Or how much I love my friends?”
Marc adjusted his back in the seat. “It wasn’t the same.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean, yeah, you were into
all of that, but were you really? If I wasn’t on the soccer team, would you have been interested in the games?” he asked.
“Who cares?” I countered. “I was supporting my boyfriend. That’s a quality people like. I would have liked to have been supported.”
“In what?”
“In anything.”
“I supported you, but your interests were my interests. It felt like you didn’t have anything of your own.”
I felt adrenaline rush through my veins. “Maybe you didn’t know me the way you thought you did. Maybe I didn’t run across a field kicking a ball, but I read at least two books a week and watched more movies than I could count. Did you ask me about them? No. But it wasn’t your thing, so I didn’t bring it up all the time the way you did with soccer. And sorry if hanging out with my friends wasn’t exciting enough for you, but to me, they’re everything. Passionate? I go after what I want. I’m the one who brought up New York. I was the one who wanted to go there, and I’m the one who’s making sure she does everything in her power to get there now.”
“Okay, sorry,” he said.
We both got quiet again. I was so angry, but I wasn’t even sure it was at Marc. I hated that he was right, and that I was to blame, too. I had been a follower, little Miss Eager-to-Please. Things Marc wanted to do, I wanted to do. I let him choose everything, what parties we went to, where we ate, who we hung out with—and the list went on. I’d even become head “unofficial” cheerleader for his games. Sure, I still had Grace, Terri, and Luke, but only them. I had hung out with a million people in middle school, but once high school started, it was like Marc’s friends were my go-to group.
“You felt this way the whole time we were together?” I asked, once I calmed down a bit.
He shook his head. “No. Definitely not in the beginning. And then I guess I didn’t really think about it until I met Lissi. She called me out on stuff, made me try different things. I guess it was…” He let his words trail off, before he could say different again.
I had a feeling that wasn’t the word he had intended, but I figured I probably didn’t need to hear how exciting he’d found her.
Finding Mr. Better-Than-You Page 19