I squeezed my wrist. “I hate how you handled things,” I told him. “You screwed that up, but the rest?” I took a deep breath. “It wasn’t all your fault. You didn’t know me, because I didn’t show you. I only gave you a taste. The past couple of months have been eye-opening,” I confessed.
“I noticed.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Come on, don’t pretend. You obviously noticed that I noticed. It’s why we’re in here now.” He gave me a smile. It was one that used to give me goose bumps. “You’re more out there. You got this … I don’t know what it is … confidence or something. Being Brooksy, and those weird dances, you seem more open. More free. It’s hard to look away.”
“I guess I’m doing things for me, not for you.” Or for Spence, or for any guy. I was doing what made me happy.
“I wanted you to do things for you. I didn’t know you weren’t. I like this you. I liked the old one, too, but this one—I’d like to get to know her better.”
My mouth dropped open. Was he saying he wanted me back? He didn’t come right out with it, but it sure sounded like he was alluding to it.
I put my hands up. “Marc…”
His mouth twisted up into a smile again, and he latched onto my eyes. His gaze was so intense.
This was what I’d been hoping to hear after he dumped me. I had dreamed about it.
But now?
Sure, having Marc look at me like I was the World Cup trophy tugged at my memories—and my heart—but I didn’t want him anymore. He’d hurt me, but I’d gotten over it—over him. I’d moved on.
The realization made me smile.
“You should get going,” I told him. “Lissi’s probably waiting.”
Then I got up and left the room without turning back.
I deserved way better than Marc.
I knew that now.
Chapter 39
“Get closer,” I instructed Terri and Grace as I held my phone out for a selfie in front of Mamoun’s, an amazing little falafel restaurant we stopped by near NYU. “I need to remember this place. It’s amazing.”
“You know there’s a Mamoun’s in Connecticut, too, right?” Terri asked.
“Just smile,” I instructed her, and snapped the picture. “And yes, I know, but it’s not the same. Here I’d be able to roll right out of bed, and voilà, I’d be here.”
“You want to eat falafel right when you wake up?” Grace asked.
“Maybe,” I said, not ready to rule anything out. “But if not, I could just stroll a few more feet and go to the fruit stand. Five bananas for a dollar. That’s a great deal.”
“I’m pretty sure your dining hall will have bananas,” she assured me.
“Fine, yes, maybe, but that’s not the point.” I spun around. “There’s just so many options. Look at everything around here.”
We started walking, and I kept pointing stuff out. “There’s Starbucks, but see, there’s also tons of cute cafés, too. And shopping.” I pointed to a guy in front of a table of sunglasses. “They’re even selling stuff on the street.” I picked up a pair of red heart-shaped glasses. “Jemma will love these. I have to get them.”
“You’re not going with the ones that say ‘I love New York’?” Terri joked.
“No.” I stood up straighter. “That would be touristy, and I’m not going to be a tourist; I’m going to be an NYU student.” I crossed my fingers and held them up.
“Yeah?” Grace asked. “No more Miss Columbia.”
I shook my head and paid the guy for the sunglasses. “Not anymore.”
It turned out Columbia was Marc’s dream school. NYU was mine.
We continued walking, passing through the park. “This is where I want to be,” I said. We’d looked at Columbia earlier today, and it was nice, but it felt like a regular campus. Sure, there were things surrounding it, but Morningside Heights, the section of Manhattan the school was in, didn’t have the buzz, the vibe, of the Village. “Can’t you just feel the energy around here? It’s like magic running through the air.”
Grace laughed. “Magic, huh?”
“Yes, and there’s so much going on. They even have pop-up performances like that poetry jam by the sculpture.”
“You mean the Alamo—or, as it’s more commonly called, the Astor Place Cube?” Terri corrected me.
I smiled. Of course she would know the name of the artwork. “Yes, I’m not even that into poetry, but I like that you can get it just by walking outside. I want to go here so badly.”
“Hmm,” Terri said, rubbing her chin. “Who might have said that to you ages ago?”
I swatted her arm. “Yes, go ahead, tell me you told me so. You said I’d love NYU, and I do. I just hope I get in.”
“You will,” Grace said. “You have straight As, killed the SATs, and you upped your extracurriculars with yearbook and Brooksy.”
“Don’t forget organizing an art show,” Terri said.
I nodded. There was also Ms. Jackson’s letter of recommendation. She let me take a look, and after reading it, I was kind of fangirling myself. And I felt really good about my essay. It was about how being a badger had helped me find myself, but it was a lot more nuanced than that. “I’m going to send my application in as soon as we get home. Maybe even back at the hotel tonight.”
“First,” Terri said, “we still have a lot of things to see.”
“Right,” I said. “Should we check out SVA next?” Our gallery had worked: Terri’s parents said she could apply to some art schools (including the School of Visual Arts), and if she got accepted (which I was sure she would), they’d let her go.
She shook her head. “Tomorrow. We did enough campus browsing for today.”
“We have the theater tonight,” Grace said, “but we still have a bunch of time before that and dinner.”
I clapped my hands. “Bookstores. There are so many in Manhattan. I want to see them all.”
“Of course you do,” Terri said. “Maybe we’ll find something good for Luke.” This was an all-girls trip, so he wasn’t invited, but we wanted to make sure he knew we were thinking about him, so we’d planned to get him some souvenirs. I’d already picked him up an NYU T-shirt (and one for me).
“I can find something for Derrick there, too,” Grace said.
“Great,” I said, “but first a slice of pizza.”
Terri looked at me like I’d developed a third nostril. “Pizza! We just had giant falafel sandwiches, and we’re going to dinner in a couple of hours.”
“It wasn’t that big, and I’ll still be able to eat. Come on, this is New York City pizza. I have to try it. I’ll be super quick.”
She nodded.
“Pizza it is, then,” Grace said, and I let out a cheer as we headed to get my slice.
“I can’t believe you finished that,” Terri said as I dropped my napkin onto my paper plate. The slice had been gigantic, way bigger than Connecticut slices.
“It was exactly what I needed, and now I’m energized to go book shopping.”
We got up, and I headed to the trash to throw out my stuff.
“Hey, two o’clock,” Terri said, whispering behind me. “Cute guy totally checking you out.”
I turned around to look, and my eyes opened in surprise. “Ty?”
“Cam! I thought that was you.”
I turned to my friends. “Guys, this is Avery’s cousin Ty.” I turned back to Ty. “Ty, this is Terri and Grace.”
They exchanged hellos, and he smiled at me, showing off that little dimple of his. Ty gave a very slight nod. After everything I’d told him about my friend issues the night of the Halloween party, he looked happy that we were all standing there together.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Checking out schools. What about you?” I asked.
“I go to NYU.”
Of course he did. Terri jabbed me in the side, but I refused to look at her; I knew she’d make wiggly eyebrows or something at me.
“It’s my first choice,” I said.
“Well, if you have any questions, just hit me up.”
“Thanks, I may take you up on that. It was really nice seeing you, Ty,” I said, and gestured to my friends, “but we better get going.”
“Have a great rest of your trip,” he said.
“Whoa.” Terri fanned herself when we got outside and out of Ty’s earshot. “Why didn’t you tell me how much hotter Avery’s cousin is in person?”
“Yeah,” Grace said to me, “do I smell a romance brewing?”
“Right now I think you just smell the sewers.”
“Come on, you know what I’m talking about,” she pressed.
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
I was open to possibilities, and if Ty was any indication of the type of people I’d meet over the next four years, I could tell it was going to be quite the ride. But right now, I wasn’t thinking about guys.
“I can’t believe I may actually get to live in this city. It’s everything I want,” I said. “Well, except for one thing.”
“What?” Grace asked. “What could it possibly be missing?”
I squeezed my wrist. “You two. I can’t believe we won’t be going to school together. I’m going to miss you guys so much.”
“Hey, don’t get weepy on me now,” Grace said, putting her arm around me. “We’re having too much fun. Do you want me to start crying, too? It’s only November. We have the whole rest of the year and the summer.”
“I know.”
“Besides,” Terri said, attaching herself to my other side, “you can’t get rid of us. If you ignore my texts and FaceTimes I’ll just track you down.”
I was pretty sure she wasn’t joking.
“And how can you forget?” Grace asked, bumping her hip into mine. “True love always finds its way. Isn’t that what you’ve been jamming down our throats with all those movies since the third grade?”
I nodded.
“Well,” she continued, “isn’t what we have real?”
“It is.”
“Then that’s that,” Terri said. “You’re going to be stuck with us for life.”
I liked the sound of that.
I squeezed them closer to me. As it turned out, not all rom-coms needed to end with getting the guy, or the girl, or that fairy-tale magical kiss. They just needed to end with love, and I had that—in excess.
Acknowledgments
With each book I become more and more in awe of all the talented people at Swoon Reads and Macmillan. From the editorial team, the production editors and copy editors, the designers, the assistants, and the interns to the subrights, sales, marketing, publicity, digital, and advertising teams—you are all amazing. Thank you for all your help.
Jonathan Yaged and Jean Feiwel, thank you for helping make one of my dreams come true. I’m truly grateful for the opportunity you’ve given me.
Holly West—you believed in this book from the beginning, and it’s so much better because of you. I’m so glad that I get to work with you. You are a dream editor.
Erin Siu, your notes and feedback were incredible and very much appreciated.
Lauren Scobell, you’ve been there with me through this whole journey, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you do.
Liz Dresner and Karina Grande, I’m swooning over your cover! Thank you Morgan Rath for being a fantastic publicist; Kat Brzozowksi, Teresa Ferraiolo, and Emily Settle for all your social media posts; copy editor Karen Sherman and production editor Lindsay Wagner for making sure everything is up to par (and catching my mistakes!); Holly Ingraham for your feedback; Kristin Dulaney, Allison Verost, Melissa Zar, and everyone who’s helped me along the way—thank you, thank you, thank you!
To my agent, Laura Dail, I’m still in awe that I get to be represented by you. I feel so fortunate to have you in my corner. Thank you—and your team—for everything. And a special shout-out to Samantha Fabien and Clare Curry for your amazing notes on this book!
To my fellow Swoon authors—the Swoon Squad—getting to know each of you has been so much fun!
To the booksellers, librarians, bloggers, and readers, your support does not go unnoticed. I’m so thankful for you.
To everyone at Fox 5, I feel like I’ve grown up at the station, and you’ve all become like a second family to me.
To my actual family (immediate and extended)—there are no words to express how much you mean to me. Please know I love you all.
Mom, Jordan, Andrea, Liam, and Alice—my wish is that you see yourselves how I see you—truly stunning inside and out and extremely loved.
To my dad, I miss you so much, but I know how proud you’d be of me and our whole family and how much you loved us. The feeling is mutual.
This book is about friendship, and I’ve truly been blessed with a wonderful bunch of friends. Thank you for being there for me through the good and the bad—and helping me smile through it all. (You may have even inspired moments in this book, like dramatic readings at poetry slams, truth-or-dare in a diner, supporting harebrained ideas that seemed really clever at the time, and showing what it means to be a friend.)
Some shout-outs: Cecilia, Christina, Michelle, Lauren, Adi, Jessica, Sandy, Susannie, Cara, Karen, Barry, Robyn, Lisa, Nadine, Keren, Phil, Holly, Erika, the family who are also friends, the new friends, the old friends, and the ones I may have accidentally left out (but will forgive me because that’s what friends do ).
And to Ben Levkov, it took me a really, really long time to find you, but you were so worth the wait. There’s no finding Mr. Better-Than-You, because you are my Mr. Better-Than-All-of-Them, my Mr. Right. You are truly incredible, and every day I think how lucky I am to have you as my partner. I love you.
About the Author
Shani Petroff is a writer living in New York City. She is the author of Romeo & What’s Her Name; My New Crush Gave to Me; and Airports, Exes, and Other Things I’m Over; as well as the Bedeviled series, which includes Daddy’s Little Angel; The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Dress; Careful What You Wish For; and Love Struck. She is the coauthor of Ash and also writes for television news programs and several other venues. When she’s not locked in her apartment typing away, she spends a whole lot of time on books, boys, TV, daydreaming, and shopping online. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2020 by Shani Petroff
An imprint of Feiwel and Friends and Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271
swoonreads.com
All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Petroff, Shani, author.
Title: Finding Mr. Better-Than-You / Shani Petroff.
Description: First edition. | New York: Swoon Reads, 2020. | Summary: After being dumped by her boyfriend, Cam’s best friends help her seek the perfect senior year boyfriend, but she discovers that some things are more important than boys.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019018602 | ISBN 978-1-250-29432-6 (hardcover)
Subjects: | CYAC: Best friends—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. | High schools—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.P44713 Fin 2020 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019018602
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by email at [email protected].
First hardcover edition, 2020
eBook edition, January 2020
eISBN 9781250294333
Finding Mr. Better-Than-You Page 20