The Procedure

by Tabatha Vargo

  I spent Sunday avoiding my phone, which was unlike me since I was a doctor. I wasn’t on call considering my practice, but I always kept my phone close just in case. I knew if she texted me or called, I wouldn’t be able to resist, and I also knew if my phone was in my hand or near me, I was going to text or call her. I had to resist her. There was no other way.

  MONDAY MORNING CAME, and I still hadn’t contacted her or heard from her. Honestly, I was making myself crazy just thinking about her. I couldn’t focus at work or my meeting with Dr. Stein. I’d ruined a perfectly good lab coat with ink, and I’d spilled coffee all over the rug in my office. My day was a mess and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of anything but her.

  In the end, I canceled all my appointments and left the office as soon as possible. Going to Mama Maria’s, I ordered lunch and a chocolate ball, eating them with memories of our lunch together. When I pulled out my wallet to pay, the fortune I’d gotten on my first visit fell from my wallet, reminding me of what I wanted.

  When I killed enough time sipping my water, I left to go see my favorite patients. I spent the ride over to St. Vincent’s replaying Samantha’s sweet noises repeatedly in my mind until I considered pulling over and relieving myself on the side of the road like a randy teenage boy.

  Parking in my usual spot, I sat in my car for a bit. I needed to get my mind right before I went inside and put on a happy face for the kids. I wasn’t my usual talkative self with the nurses when I got the files I needed. They noticed. I could tell by the looks they gave each other. But none of them said anything, thankfully.

  Looking over the notes from the night nurses, I checked on a few patients before going to visit Tori. My shoes tapped against the hospital floor as I made my way toward her room, but I stopped before stepping into her space when I heard Samantha’s voice.

  She was inside, giggling with Tori about something, and her laugh filled me with a sense of happiness. Moving closer to the doorway, but still keeping from being seen, I listened as they talked. Leaning the back of my head against the wall, I smiled to myself as Tori asked awkward questions about things she couldn’t possibly understand.

  “Do you like Dr. Roman?” Tori asked.

  Samantha chuckled. I closed my eyes and envisioned her smile.

  “I do like him very much. He’s a great friend,” she responded.

  “Do you think he’s cute?” Tori asked, totally clueless to my situation.

  Again, Samantha giggled, and I smiled secretly to myself.

  “Well, Tori, I must admit, I think Dr. Roman is a very handsome man. Now, let’s finish this book, shall we?”

  She thought I was handsome. Her words seem to make all my thoughts dissolve. There was only her.

  I sat and listened as Samantha read a book to Tori. Every now and again, Tori would stop her and ask questions like a normal child her age, but something happened in that moment. Seeing her with Tori, hearing her talk to her the way she was and being so nice to the girl, it finalized everything for me.

  I was falling for Samantha. Actually, I was pretty sure I’d already fallen. She was married, but she was perfect in every way possible. And there she was, meeting with my patients, ones close to my heart, when she didn’t have to. She was bringing light to other’s lives without being asked to.

  Stopping a nurse, I pulled her to the side. “The lady in Tori’s room…how long has she been here?” I asked.

  “Mrs. Aldridge?” the nurse asked with lowered brows.

  I was shocked that she knew Samantha’s name. “Yes. Has she been here long?”

  “Today no, but she comes by at least once a day to see the kids. They seem to love her.”

  I nodded. “Thank you,” I said.

  Something warm bloomed in my chest and spread through my body. Samantha Aldridge was perfect. She had no idea how much so.

  It was time I faced facts. It was too late. I wasn’t sure how it happened, and God knew I hadn’t meant for it to, but I was in love with her. She did things to me—changed my way of thinking and feeling. She had pushed past my professional barriers and lavished me with feelings I never thought I’d have.

  I could deny it as much as I wanted to, but I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to keep her tucked away safely from anyone who made her feel like she was less than wonderful. But the truth was a heartless wench who hurt. Samantha would never be mine. It wasn’t something that was ever going to happen, which meant heartbreak was inevitable.

  THREE DAYS WENT by, and I heard nothing from Roman. I hated thinking that something as stupid as drinking too much and kissing was going to end a friendship that meant so much to me. Although, when I thought about it, what happened between us was way more than kissing.

  Remembering how hot he felt between my legs or the way he bucked his hips for more… it was unbearable. I was strung so tightly that I felt as if I would burst at any second if I didn’t get some kind of relief, but there would be none. None from Michael and definitely none from Roman.

  Every time I called his office, he was busy, and every time I called his cell, it went to voice mail. I was being ignored, officially, and though it shouldn’t have, it hurt so badly. Three days… that was all it took me to miss Roman. Michael went out of town for weeks, and I didn’t miss him like that. It was wrong… so wrong.

  I was being ignored by Roman. After being jerked around and bruised by Michael, I was ignoring him. If it wasn’t for Duke, I would have been one lonely girl for the weekend, but still, I stayed away from Michael. The situation was almost funny, if I hadn’t thought that maybe I was losing my mind. I was more worried about Roman never talking to me again than I was about upsetting Michael. That made me the worst kind of wife.

  I continued to go to St. Vincent’s to see the kids every day. Being with them was amazing. Seeing how they took their burns and scars in stride was truly uplifting. Not to mention, the kids themselves were just amazing to be around. I’d gotten my degree in early childhood education when I was younger. Being with the kids made me realize how badly I wanted to teach. I’d given up those dreams the minute I married Michael. Then again, being with the kids also made me realize how badly I wanted a child of my own, too.

  Monday morning, I woke to find Michael downstairs eating breakfast. He was usually out of the door without a trace by the time I woke up, so it was strange to see him there eating eggs and reading the paper.

  “Good morning, Sam,” he said when I stepped into the kitchen.

  I wanted to continue to ignore him, but I was curious what he was up to. “Good morning,” I responded.

  When I stepped up to the table, he shocked me when he stood and pulled out a chair for me. It was as if I’d stepped into some alternate reality.

  “I made coffee and eggs if you’re hungry.” He smiled down at me.

  He looked like the old Michael—the one I’d married so many years ago, but still, something was different. Things were off.

  “Thank you,” I stuttered.

  I sat, and he put a plate of eggs and a coffee cup in front of me. He even remembered how I liked my coffee—two sugars and cream. The coffee was hot when it moved across my tongue, and the eggs were delicious.

  Reaching out, Michael ran his fingertips down my arm and over the purple bruise he’d left. “I’ve never put my hands on you before. It’s not something that will ever happen again,” he said.

  It wasn’t an apology, but I’d take it. His fingers shifted and worked up my arm to my shoulder where he palmed my skin and gave me an apologetic grin. Still, things felt weird. I wasn’t sure if it was him or if it was me, but things had changed in the last few weeks. Change was a scary thing. Especially when you didn’t know what it was that had changed.

  I SPENT THE following morning on the beach, searching for shells for Tori and getting sand in my expensive shoes. Doing it reminded me of Roman. Plus, it was fun to play up the mermaid thing with her. I’d even bought her a few mermaid shirts that she fell absolutely in love with.
Making her happy made me happy.

  With my hands full of goodies for the kids, I made my way through the hall toward Tori’s room. I smiled at the nurses as I passed. They were nice ladies—always doing everything they could for the children. I admired them and all they did.

  I was about to walk into Tori’s room when I heard Roman’s voice. The deep timber of his voice moved over me and lifted something heavy from my chest that I hadn’t known was there. Then I heard a woman’s laughter, and the heaviness settled on me once again. Looking over, I saw a beautiful woman with her hands all over Roman.

  And then the strangest thing happened. I had a sick desire to rip her arms from her body. I wasn’t much for conflict. Obviously, since I’d walked away when I caught my husband having sex with another woman. However, with Roman it was different. They weren’t having sex, but just the thought of her touching him sent fire up my spine.

  My stomach bottomed out, and I suddenly felt as if I were going to be sick. The hallway spun around me as I thought about running somewhere—anywhere—to get away from the scene in front of me, but then he laughed, my heart warmed, and I couldn’t move my feet no matter how badly I wanted to.

  I WAS JUST finishing up my rounds at St. Vincent’s and thinking about maybe calling Samantha when I got in my car. It had been a few days, and I missed her. I would, of course, pretend that seeing her was purely for her and Michael’s benefit. She didn’t need to know that seeing her was all I could think about since I’d dropped her off at home the night we went too far.

  “Dr. Roman, how nice to see you again,” a female said from my side, breaking my concentration and thoughts.

  Turning, I found myself face to face with Daphne Raines, a world-renowned children’s surgeon from Washington that I’d dated a few years back. I’d just moved to the states, I was young, and she was beautiful. Even now, she was still beautiful, but nothing compared to my Samantha.

  “Dr. Raines, what a surprise. What brings you to Miami?” I asked, turning away from Tori’s door and stepping away.

  “There’s a young man on the third floor who needs my expert touch. But enough about work. What about you, Roman?” she said quietly as she leaned into me. “Are you in need of my expert touch still?”

  We’d ended abruptly when I realized that we both wanted different things. As in, she wanted to sleep with other people, and I wanted to be exclusive. I often wondered what the parents of the kids she treated would think of her if they knew she was a closet sex addict.

  But still, years ago, I had fallen right into her seductive trap. I spent night after night with her until I felt as if I couldn’t go anymore, until I no longer wanted to go anymore. She was there, staring back at me with her thick lips that I knew were extremely skilled, but when I closed my eyes, all I could see was sweet Samantha and her big, brown eyes.

  “I think I’ll have to pass,” I said as nicely as possible.

  And then a loud noise from beside me sounded, and I turned to see the woman I’d just been thinking of staring back at me.

  Her brows were pulled in as she leaned down and collected the things she’d just dropped. Things that consisted of seashells and candy, all things that made me smile. Her face was red, and she was mumbling something to herself.

  Leaving Daphne’s side, I knelt down to help her pick up the items.

  “Don’t. I got it,” she snapped.

  I pulled my hand back as if she’d actually snapped at me. And then I went back to work helping.

  “Seriously, Dr. Blake. Just leave it.”

  She sounded angry and not since our first meeting had she called me Dr. Blake. It sounded like an insult coming from her sweet lips.

  “Samantha?” I asked quietly. “What’s wrong?”

  And then she looked up at me. The fire in her eyes burned me where I knelt. She was angry. I was sure it was because I’d kissed her and disappeared, but then she said something else.

  “Just go back to your lady friend,” she lashed out again.

  I could hardly believe it. Samantha Aldridge was jealous. And although it was wrong, I couldn’t help but feel happy about it. A smile tugged at my lips, and it was a struggle to school my face.

  She stood, organizing the stuff in her arms, all things for the kids, and my heart melted. When I reached out to help her, she pulled away again. This time, I didn’t let her. I held her elbow and forced her to look me in the face. Her eyes moved around, determined not to look at me. I’d never wanted her eyes on me so badly. I wanted to convey with my eyes that what she was thinking wasn’t correct.

  “Thank you for coming to see the kids,” I said, trying to change the subject.

  She opened her mouth to respond, but then Daphne showed up beside us. I’d all but forgotten she was there.

  “I can see you’re busy. We’ll catch up later,” she said.

  Her words sounded flirty, and my teeth gritted. Why did she have to make it sound as if we had something going on? But then again, why did I care that she made it sound that way?

  Samantha’s face colored before looking away, as if she weren’t paying attention to the conversation around her.

  I nodded to Daphne and waited until she was gone before I spoke to Samantha again.

  “I should go,” she said, moving to step around me.

  When I stopped her with a hand on her arm, she stared at the space above my shoulder. “Samantha,” I said softly. I wanted to say so many things I had no right to say, but instead, I stopped at her name. And then she turned her dark eyes on me, and I felt as if I could breathe again. “Come on, let’s go visit with Tori.”

  Taking a few of the items from her arms, I took her elbow and directed her inside Tori’s room.

  I did a standard checkup on Tori, and I was happy that things were looking up for her. She was in high spirits, a smile plastered on her face for Samantha as she went through the many seashells she’d brought.

  Blowing warm air on the chest piece of my stethoscope, I placed it over Tori’s heart, holding it by the stem to get a good listen. Moving it to her back to listen to her breathe, I was happy there was no fluid in her lungs. It was a good change considering a week after she was admitted, she got a seriously bad case of pneumonia and a tiny bit of fluid had remained there ever since.

  “Everything’s looking great,” I said, pulling out the ear tips and adjusting my stethoscope around my neck.

  “What about her?” Tori asked, pointing at Samantha. “You should check her heart, too”

  “You’re absolutely right, Tori.” I smiled over at Samantha. “I should definitely give Ms. Aldridge a listen.”

  Chuckling to myself, I adjusted the stethoscope, putting the ear tips back in and blocking out the sounds of the room around me. When I took a step toward Samantha, her back straightened and the smile on her face dissolved. We stared at each other as I placed the chest piece against the soft skin where her button-up shirt parted.

  The sound of her beating heart filled my ears, a steady rhythm. As I moved the chest piece a bit, her heart skipped a beat before speeding up. She swallowed hard, her nerves showing clearly in her gaze.

  Was I making her heart speed up?

  “Are you nervous?” I whispered.

  Her skin flushed, and she swallowed hard. Again, her heart skipped and sped.

  “Am I making you nervous?” I asked again, careful not to let Tori hear.

  She nodded, taking a deep breath.

  I liked her reaction. It matched mine in a way. Using the tip of my finger, I brushed away a stray piece of her hair that had fallen against my equipment. She closed her eyes and exhaled, the sound of her heartbeat intensifying.

  “Is she okay?” Tori asked loudly, bringing me back to the moment.

  Pulling out the ear tips, I pulled the stethoscope from around my neck and put it in the deep pocket of my lab coat.

  “She’s perfect,” I said, devouring Samantha with my eyes.

  Ten minutes later, I was saying goodbye to bo
th girls. The room around me felt as if it were closing in, and I knew I had several appointments left before my day was over. I couldn’t afford to have a scattered brain.

  As soon as I got in my car, I pulled out my phone and sent her a text before I lost my nerve.

  Me: Dinner tonight at 7?

  She would think we were just continuing with the procedure. She didn’t need to know that dinner with her was more for me than it was for her.

  Her response didn’t come in until I was back at my office, looking over files. Pulling my phone from my coat pocket, I smiled.

  Samantha: Name the place and I’ll be there.

  THERE I WAS, sitting in front of her, and ordering dinner. I wasn’t sure what possessed me to ask her on a date, but I was drawn to her and fascinated with her reaction to me and another woman. It made me feel something I couldn’t describe. I didn’t hate it.

  Dinner was dinner. Nothing serious. Who cared if my eyes followed her fork every time she took a bite—that my body responded to the way her lips wrapped around the fork and she chewed like her food was full of pleasure. It was nice to see a woman eat without restraint—to not take three bites and let the rest of the food go bad.

  No. Samantha Aldridge had a hardy appetite and it seemed when it came to her, so did I.

  Taking a sip of her wine, she licked her lips. She didn’t know what she was doing. She was totally clueless that she was seducing me, but it was happening. If only she knew how naturally seductive and beautiful she was. That was what my plan was—to show her what I could see. What I was knew other men saw as well. Once she was able to see it, it would reflect from the inside out, and Michael would come to notice it, too.

  I wanted her, but I truly wanted to help her. If Michael were the person who made her happy, then I’d do everything I could to make sure she got him.

  “So tell me, Roman,” she patted her succulent mouth with her cloth napkin, “what’s the next step in Project Samantha?”

  Smiling, I took a sip of my own wine and set the glass back to the table. I hadn’t realized how close our hands were until I accidently brushed her knuckles with mine.