Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 05 - Tight as a Tick

by Toni L. P. Kelner

  “Don’t do it, not yet, anyway. You’ll come up with something else.”

  “Like what? All I’m good for is being homesick and smoking this shit.” He pulled a joint out of his pocket, looked at it in disgust, then flipped it out into the darkness. “The mill is as good a place for me as any.”

  “Augustus Crawford, you listen to me!” I said, shaking my finger at him. “If you want to work at Walters Mill, that’s fine, but don’t you dare go down there unless you’re going to give it your best shot, because it wouldn’t be fair to the mill and it wouldn’t be fair to you. There’s lots of other work you can do.” He started to object, but I wouldn’t stop talking. “I don’t know what, but I do know that we’re going to figure it out.”

  “Do you really think so, Laurie Anne?”

  “I really do.”

  He leaned back against the tree. “I hope you’re right, because, despite everything, part of me is just so damned glad to be back home that I want to cry.” His voice broke.

  I hugged him as hard as I could. “You know, you are so much like Paw. He was just as attached to Byerly as you are. He once told me that he thought he’d up and die if he ever had to leave. Sometimes I was jealous, because I’d never been that way about a place, not Byerly and not even Boston. I never really understood how he felt, but talking to you, I almost do. He’d be awfully glad you came back.”

  Augustus started sobbing, and we stayed like that for a long time.

  Chapter 33

  After Augustus quieted down, we decided go back inside before anybody came looking for us. Besides, the mosquitoes were starting to bite.

  Everybody was in the living room, and both Aunt Nora and Richard looked up when we came in. I nodded to let them know that it had gone all right, and both relaxed. Augustus’s problems weren’t over, but he was better off than he had been before.

  We all settled down to watch TV for a while, but I wasn’t paying much attention to the show. I wasn’t thinking about Carney Alexander, either. Instead I was trying to come up with something Augustus could do with himself. I had one idea, but I wasn’t sure if he’d be interested.

  Aunt Maggie eventually announced that she was ready to head home. That meant that we had half an hour of Uncle Buddy asking Aunt Maggie about the leak in her attic, and Thaddeous remembering that Michelle had given him Richard’s and my new plane reservations. I’d been cowardly enough to leave her a voice-mail message rather than call directly, but she must have forgiven me because the new plane tickets weren’t costing us any extra.

  Aunt Nora pulled me aside and said, “Laurie Anne, I was thinking. I know you’re pretty sure that the killer wasn’t after Aunt Maggie, but what if you’re wrong? Is it possible that she’s in danger?”

  What she was saying was that none of us would forgive ourselves if anything happened to Aunt Maggie because of our guessing wrong. “You think we should keep an eye on her, don’t you?”

  She nodded.

  “Then Richard and I will be all over her like white on rice.” Considering the way she’d talked Richard and me into accompanying her so far, I didn’t think it would be a problem.

  “If it gets too much for y’all, you be sure to ask for help. Thaddeous can help at night, and Willis can help during the day. I don’t know about Augustus.”

  “I’m sure Augustus will help, too,” I said.

  “I won’t ask you what y’all said, but do you think he’s okay?”

  “He’s got some things to work out,” I warned, “but I think he’s going to be fine.”

  “Thank you, Laurie Anne.”

  “Don’t cry!” I said quickly. I’d already had one person crying on my shoulder—I didn’t need another.

  Aunt Nora sniffed a couple of times, but managed to stem the flow by changing the subject. “We’ll have to be careful that Aunt Maggie doesn’t figure out that we’re watching her. You know how she is. She’d be right put out at us for thinking that she can’t take care of herself.”

  After that, Aunt Maggie, Richard, and I headed back to the house, and we all went straight up to bed. As soon as I was alone with Richard, I told him what Aunt Nora had suggested, and he agreed that we shouldn’t leave Aunt Maggie alone. Then I described my conversation with Augustus. “Now all we have to do is find him a job.”

  “Wouldn’t he rather do that himself?”

  “I don’t think he’d mind a little help.”

  “Laura, your idea of a little help is to write his resumé, get him a job interview, and hide behind him during the interview to feed him answers.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “I’m just trying to do what Aunt Nora asked.”

  “I thought she asked you to talk to him.”

  “If she knew what we’d talked about, she’d ask me to help him find a job, too.”

  “My wife reads minds.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him again.

  “So, what career have you chosen?”

  “I’m not going to tell you,” I said with as much dignity as I could scrape up. Which wasn’t much, since I couldn’t resist sticking out my tongue one more time. When he tickled me in response, we lost track of what we’d been talking about anyway. We only quit when Aunt Maggie banged on the wall and told us to hush up and go to sleep.

  I could tell something was wrong when I woke up the next morning, but it took me a while to figure out what it was. Then it hit me. I actually felt rested for the first time in days. When I looked at the clock, I saw that we’d slept for ten hours.

  Without waking Richard, I went downstairs to make sure everything was okay. Not that I really thought that somebody had come in and attacked Aunt Maggie in her sleep, but Aunt Nora’s worrying was contagious.

  I could have stayed in bed. Aunt Maggie was in the basement sticking price tags on plates.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  “Just barely,” she said. “I thought you two were going to sleep all day.”

  “We had some catching up to do. You’ve been keeping us pretty busy.” I’d had no idea how much work Aunt Maggie’s business entailed. She worked much longer hours than I did.

  “I was just kidding, Laurie Anne. If I hadn’t wanted y’all to sleep, I’d have made enough noise to wake y’all up.”

  “What’s the plan for today? Didn’t you have a sale in your date book?”

  “Nope, it’s next week.”

  “Are we going to hit the thrift stores?”

  “No reason to. They won’t restock until Wednesday night. You and Richard have the day off, unless there’s something dealing with Carney you want to take care of.”

  “Nothing that I can think of,” I admitted. “That reminds me, have you heard anything about Mary Maude?”

  “I called the hospital, and they said she’s going to have to stay there a day or two; but they don’t think she suffered any permanent damage. I guess it would take more than cast iron to bust through her thick skull.”

  “Did she identify her attacker?”

  “I didn’t ask. I was talking to a nurse, and I didn’t think she’d know anything about it.”

  “Then I’ll give Trey Norton a call.” A few minutes later, I reported back. “She doesn’t remember a thing.”

  “Is he sure she’s not faking so she won’t have to explain what she was doing in my booth?”

  “Knowing Mary Maude, I wouldn’t put it past her, but Trey says it’s normal for her not to remember. Apparently people who are hit hard enough to lose consciousness usually forget the events just beforehand. The last thing Mary Maude remembers is driving to the flea market.”

  “What about Mavis? Did she not see anything?”

  “Just you and Richard. Trey didn’t say so outright, but I think she wanted to pin it on us. Fortunately, since you were with her, and I was with Bender, we all have alibis.”

  “If I wanted to try to knock some sense into Mary Maude Foy’s head, I’d have done it long before now.” Then she said, “Looky here!”


  “What?” I said. Since we’d been talking about the attack on Mary Maude, I thought she’d found something to do with that, but she was holding a ratty red felt pennant with the words “Byerly Bobbins” in white letters.

  “Who are the Byerly Bobbins?” The Byerly high school team is the Bobcats, not the Bobbins.

  “The Bobbins were the Walters Mill baseball team, back when there was a textile league,” she said.

  “Don’t they still play ball?”

  “They’ve got a Softball team, but it’s not the same. Back then, we had real baseball players playing for the mill. Some of them were players hoping to get good enough for the major leagues, and some knew they’d never make it to the majors, but they all played a sight better than the boys around here. Big Bill would give them cushy jobs at the mill, but they were really only hired to play ball. There was a catcher named Pudd’nhead Wilson …” Her voice faded away, and and she stared into the distance.

  “Pudd’nhead Wilson?” I said. “Like in the Mark Twain book?”

  “His name wasn’t really Pudd’nhead,” Aunt Maggie said, still with that faraway look. “It was a nickname. Ballplayers had to have nicknames. I can see him now, prancing out onto the field at the beginning of the game like he was something special. He told me he always felt that way when he stepped onto a ball field. I always wanted to see him play in one of the big ball parks up North, but I never got the chance.”

  “Aunt Maggie, were you sweet on Pudd’nhead?”

  “Maybe I was and maybe I wasn’t,” she said with a grin.

  She clearly had stories I’d never heard. I was tempted to ask her for more, but I remembered another story she hadn’t told me, one that was more important right then. Like why she was so set on our finding Carney’s murderer. I’d been waiting for her to volunteer the information, but it didn’t look like she ever would. So I started, “Aunt Maggie-”

  Then she said the one thing that was guaranteed to distract me. “By the way, Vasti called a while ago. She’s working on Augustus’s party and wanted to know what you and Richard are up to.”

  “What did you tell her?” I wanted Augustus to have a nice party, but not if I had to spend the day running errands for Vasti.

  “That you two were still asleep and I didn’t know what y’all had planned. She said she was going to be out anyway and she might stop by.”

  “How long ago did she call?”

  “About half an hour ago.”

  “Good.” Vasti lived about ten minutes away, and it normally took her nearly an hour to get ready to go anywhere, which meant that Richard and I had just enough time to get away. “Aunt Maggie, can we borrow your car?”

  “I was going to go to the grocery store, but I guess it can wait.”

  “Thank you!” I said as I ran up the stairs.

  Forty minutes later, Richard and I got the car keys from Aunt Maggie on our way out the door.

  “Do you want me to tell Vasti where you’re going to be?” she asked.

  “You are kidding, aren’t you?” I said.

  She just grinned.

  It turned out to be as busy a day as it would have been if Vasti had caught us, but a lot more pleasant. Our first stop was Aunt Nora’s house. I knew she’d be happy to feed us the breakfast we’d been in too much of a hurry to eat at Aunt Maggie’s. Next we went to see Aunt Nellie and Uncle Ruben and heard about the failed video store. Then came Aunt Edna, who raved about her trip to Charlotte and about how wonderful Caleb was. We met Aunt Daphine for lunch, and she told us what she knew of Vasti’s schedule to make sure we didn’t run into her accidentally.

  After lunch, we went to Linwood and Sue’s house. Linwood was at work, but we spent some time with Sue and the kids: Tiffany, Jason, Crystal, and Amber. It was hot by then, so we adults took turns sticking our feet into the kids’ swimming pool while the kids splashed around.

  Sue told us that Aunt Ruby Lee and Uncle Roger were back, so our next stop was their place. Clifford, Earl, and Ilene were in the middle of rehearsing, and I couldn’t believe how good they sounded. I told Uncle Roger that those three were going to be giving his Ramblers a run for their money.

  We hightailed it out of there when we found out that Vasti was on her way to tell the kids what she wanted them to play at Augustus’s party. By then it was nearly five, and we figured we’d be safe at Aunt Maggie’s house. As far as I could tell, Aunt Maggie hadn’t left the basement, though I supposed she must have gone to the bathroom. She said she didn’t have any plans that night, so we could keep the car if we wanted to.

  Richard and I got bottles of Coke and went to the living room to relax. At least I wanted to relax, but my mind kept wandering back to Carney’s murder. As usual, Richard could tell.

  “Are you brooding?” Richard asked.

  I nodded. “What happened to Mary Maude yesterday has got me rattled. How many more people are going to get hurt while we putter around?”

  “You call this puttering? We’ve hardly had a minute to ourselves since we’ve been in town. Even the police are entitled to time off.” He leaned over to nuzzle my neck. “I know some wonderful ways to spend time off.”

  I tried to nuzzle back, but my heart wasn’t in it. “I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I’m too distracted.”

  “Okay,” he said with a heavy sigh. “What do you want to do?”

  Unfortunately, I was fresh out of ideas. “Let’s look at our suspects again. We’ve got Tattoo Bob, Obed, China, J.B., Tammy, Mary Maude, Mavis, Bender, and Evan. At least, those are the ones we know about.”

  “Let’s not add to the list if we don’t have to.”

  “We can eliminate Mary Maude because there’s no way she could have faked that attack. Mavis was outside with you and Aunt Maggie, so she’s in the clear, too.”

  “Bender was with you, so that eliminates him.”

  “Right. After what J.B. said Sunday night, I don’t think it was him or Tammy.”

  “If our suspects knew that threatening you was a way to establish their innocence, we’d be in serious trouble.”

  I ignored him. “That leaves Tattoo Bob, Obed, China, and Evan.”

  “Did Evan have a motive?”

  “Not that we know of,” I said, “but he had access to the flea market, and he’d have known that Rusty was going to be at the vet’s the morning Carney was killed.”

  “What about Rusty? He had access, and Bender will vouch for him being smart enough.”

  “Richard!”

  “First he snuck out of the vet’s. Opening a door would be hard without opposable thumbs, but I’m sure he could have managed it. Then he held the knife in his mouth to stab Carney. It would have been easier to bite him, but he was trying to throw off our suspicions.”

  “How did he move the car?”

  “He drove it, of course. He’s got a license—I’ve seen it on his collar.”

  “That’s a dog license.”

  “You’re right. Add unlawful use of a vehicle to his list of crimes.”

  “You’re overlooking something. Actually, you’re overlooking lots of things, but you knew that.”

  “Mere details to a mastermind like Rusty.”

  “Except that he was with me and Bender when Mary Maude was attacked.”

  “You’re right! You know what that means?”

  “I’m afraid to ask.”

  “Somebody is trying to frame Rusty!”

  The only logical answer to that was a tickle fight, with no holds barred. This time, Aunt Maggie didn’t interrupt, so it went on until we were both exhausted and claiming victory.

  I know Richard had intended to get my mind off of Carney, but it didn’t work for long. After I got my breath back, I said, “What did Sherlock Holmes say about a dog not barking?” I knew he’d remember the quote.

  Richard said, “ ‘ “Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?” “To the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime.” “The dog did nothing in the nighttime.” �
�That was the curious incident,” remarked Sherlock Holmes.’ ”

  “Change that to the curious incident of the dog in the daytime. Carney told me that I didn’t have to let him know we were at the flea market because Rusty doesn’t fuss if it’s somebody he knows. So the person who hit Mary Maude must have been somebody Rusty knows.”

  “Of course Rusty knows him. We already knew it was somebody at the flea market.”

  “No, we didn’t. We were just making assumptions, most of which are based on things Aunt Maggie told us. This is our first outside confirmation that Carney was killed by an insider.”

  Richard nodded, but I could tell he didn’t think it was that big a deal.

  “Okay, maybe it doesn’t make a lot of difference. It’s just that so much of what we’ve got is based on Aunt Maggie’s insisting that it was an insider, but she won’t tell us why she’s so sure. Besides which, she admits that she doesn’t know that much about these people. Aunt Nora would have known a lot more.”

  “Probably more than we needed to know,” Richard said.

  “I still wish we had more information. None of my family other than Aunt Maggie hangs around Tight as a Tick, and I don’t think any of my old friends go out there either.” That reminded me of something. “Didn’t you say you saw your friend Vivian at China’s booth Sunday? Do you think she spends a lot of time out there?”

  “I heard her call China by her first name, and she said something about seeing her in a couple of weeks.”

  “Perfect! If she knows China, she might know some of the other dealers. You don’t know her phone number, do you?”

  “I don’t even know her last name.”

  “Rats!” But then I remembered where he’d met her. “What about the V.F.W.? Doesn’t she hang out there? Do you suppose it’s open tonight?”

  “Probably,” Richard said, with a certain lack of enthusiasm.

  “Great! Since Aunt Maggie doesn’t have anything for us to do tonight, you can go over there after dinner and see what you can find out from her.”

  “I can?”

  That sounded odd, so I said, “Would you rather I come with you? I thought that since you know Vivian, it would be better for you to talk to her alone.”