Midwest Magic Chronicles Boxed Set

by Flint Maxwell

  “And that you’re weird as hell,” Tabby added.

  Everyone laughed. Even Sherlock, who made that odd chortling sound inside of Maria’s head.

  “Couldn’t have done it without you,” Maria said. She looked at her best friends. “I’m sorry for the way I acted back at your place, Claire. I was just—”

  Claire raised a hand. “Don’t sweat it. If you hadn’t acted like it, I wouldn’t have gotten to turn that asshole into roadkill. Remind me to thank Andy Franz for posting that blurry pic on Instagram.” Maria cocked her head and arched an eyebrow (even that slight movement caused her pain).

  “Long story,” Claire went on. “Anyway, my car’s a little messed up, but hey, that’s what insurance is for, right?” She shrugged. “Better than a dead friend.”

  “You think insurance covers giant spider accidents?” Tabby asked.

  “I’ll just say it was a deer,” Claire said.

  “Good idea.”

  Gramps walked closer to the table Maria was on. He stared at his granddaughter for a moment, taking in how much she looked like her mother, the Queen Witch, and smiled. Then the two hugged for a long moment.

  “It’s over for now,” Gramps whispered into Maria’s ear.

  When they parted, Maria said, “Not yet. We still have a village to save.”

  Gramps nodded. “That we do. But we can’t do it on an empty stomach now, can we?”

  Sherlock barked. Inside of Maria’s head, he said, Hell no!

  They all laughed.

  “I don’t know if I’m really in the mood for ice cream,” Maria said. She rubbed at her temple. Honestly, she was really in the mood for sleep.

  “What?” Claire said, her mouth in a perfect O-shape. “Maria Apple isn’t in the mood for buckeye ice cream? That’s blasphemous!”

  “You don’t even know what blasphemy is,” Tabby said and nudged Claire with her elbow.

  “What about pancakes?” Salem asked.

  “Yes!” the Muffler twins said simultaneously as always.

  “Pancakes don’t sound bad,” Maria said. “But where the hell are we gonna get pancakes at this ungodly hour?” It was well past midnight. The town was asleep.

  “A new Denny’s just opened up not too far from the mall,” Agnes said. “Haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard good things. Open 24/7, too.”

  Gramps smiled. “There you have it, Maria.”

  They helped her off the table.

  “We can take my car,” Claire said, pulling her keys out of her pocket and disarming the alarm with a beep.

  They went outside. Claire’s car looked like it had been cleaved down the middle of the hood. There was a string of black goop and web-like hair caught in the grille. Maria, limping, wiped it away, hoping no one noticed. She didn’t want their festive mood dampened.

  They all piled into Claire’s car, nine bodies in a five seater. Maria and Tabby in the front, the rest in the back except for Sherlock, who sat on the floor of the front seat, tangled up between the girls’ legs.

  It was uncomfortable, and a bit smelly, but in a weird way, it was home. Because the people in this car—the witches and wizards and humans and dog—were all part of Maria’s family, her tribe.

  The waitress pushed together two tables in the middle of the dining room. There was no one inside the Denny’s this late, and the waitress, an older woman with bleached-blonde hair, just seemed happy to have some business. Bigger parties meant bigger tips, so she didn’t protest when Sherlock sauntered into the room, wagging his tail, with strings of drool dripping from his drooping cheeks.

  These people look like they’ve been through World War III. Oh my, the girl is wearing a sword on her hip, the waitress thought with an odd smile on her face. Even the dog looks frazzled. What I would give to find out what the heck these people have been up to tonight. She read them the special and took their drink orders.

  “I’ll be back in a moment to take your food orders,” she said, still smiling—gotta work for those tips. Though this group, as haggard and beaten as they seemed, was happy. Really happy.

  The waitress, whose name was Ilene, thought back to her own youthful days, and of her family that was mostly gone or scattered across the United States, and, in Frank’s case, Canada. She missed them. She promised to herself that after her shift was over, she was going to give her eldest daughter, Savanna, a call. She lived in California, three hours behind. It would only be midnight when Ilene got off; Savanna would be up. Maybe she’d even fly out to visit her. God, how long has it been? Three years? Five?

  She came back with the drinks: Coca-Colas, lemonades, hot teas with lemon, and a milkshake for the dog. “Now, what can I get you nice folks to eat?”

  Maria spoke up.

  She didn’t realize it, but she had become the leader of the group. Had she realized it, she might’ve refused the job—but it had come as naturally as a summer thunderstorm in the dead of night. There was no denying destiny.

  “Well, Ilene, I think we are going to order a bunch of pancakes,” Maria said. She had discovered a hunger in her she did not know was possible. Such was common after the heat of a battle. Ignatius Apple could attest to that.

  She looked down the length of the table both ways. She sat in the middle, Tabby and Claire on each side of her, Ignatius and Sherlock across.

  The rest of the group nodded.

  “I definitely want a stack of blueberry,” Maria said.

  “Yeah, blueberry,” Claire said.

  “I’ll do chocolate chip,” Tabby said.

  “Same,” the Muffler twins answered.

  “Do you have banana?” Ignatius asked.

  “Yes, we do. We have banana nut, banana, and chocolate banana,” Ilene answered. She didn’t have her pad out to take the order. Never needed it.

  “Ooh, chocolate banana,” Salem said. “Sign me up!”

  “We’ll share,” Agnes said, motioning to her and Salem.

  “I’ll do banana nut,” Ignatius said. “Thank you very much.”

  Maria leaned forward. “Oh, and we’ll probably want seconds. Tell your cook to keep the griddle warm.”

  Ilene grinned. “Oh, it always is, young lady. I’ll have those right out to you.”

  “What a good idea,” Maria said. “Pancakes. Nothing is better when you’re starving. You know, I could probably even go for some ice cream when we’re done, after all.”

  Salem nodded.

  “Not with your cholesterol,” Agnes said, hitting him in the chest. Salem rolled his eyes.

  “No fun,” he said.

  The pancakes came not too long after they ordered them. Buckets of syrup and trays of butter were passed around the table. Another waitress had to come assist Ilene in serving the food, there was that much. They ate and they ate. Belts were loosened, buttons undone, but the hunger was hardly satisfied.

  As they waited for their second helping of pancakes, Maria excused herself to go to the restroom. She’d had to piss like a racehorse ever since she’d speared Malakai with her grandfather’s sword. She still had a hard time believing that had happened. It was all a blur, a nightmarish blur, and as the clock ticked, it got further and further away, dissolving like nightmares often tend to upon awakening.

  “Want us to come?” Tabby asked.

  Oh, right, Maria remembered. Girls and their pack mentality when going to the bathroom. It was an aspect of womanhood she never fully understood, nor did she think she ever would.

  “No, thanks. I can handle this one myself,” Maria said, smiling.

  The bathroom was empty. It smelled fresh, as if it had recently been cleaned…thank God. Maria did her business and began to wash her hands.

  She noted the black blood underneath her fingernails, and tried to scrub it clean. It would take a few manicures to clean them, she supposed. That or just ripping the whole fingernail off and letting it grow back in fresh. Yeah, that would probably be what she had to do, as gruesome as it sounded. No amount of Purell or hand soap
could disinfect—

  Something moved in the mirror. Instantly, as seamless as breathing, Maria went for the sword on her belt. An odd thought crossed her mind: What if someone walked in the restroom right now and saw you? How crazy you would look, Maria?

  But she was past the point of crazy and way past the point of truly caring. Getting attacked by a giant spider tends to do that to you.

  Maria spun around, the sword in hand.

  Nothing.

  “I need to sleep,” she said to herself. She sheathed the sword. “Seeing things and stuff. Not good.” Then she went back to washing her hands. She finished and turned to pump the paper towels free from the dispenser when she saw it again.

  “Shit on a stick!” she cursed. “You’re going to give me a fucking heart attack.”

  “I’m sorry,” the dead boy Duke said.

  Maria noticed two things about him almost instantly: he was smiling, and the blood, the gashes, and the anguish on his face had begun to clear up. He no longer looked like a boy in soldier’s clothes. Now, he just looked like a regular kid.

  “Can’t you give me a heads up or something? Don’t ghosts do that? You know, like, rattle chains or start whispering really creepy stuff. That way I’ll at least know it’s you.”

  “No chains in the world in between,” Duke said. “Sorry.”

  Maria shrugged. “Well, we need something.”

  Duke shook his head. “No, not any longer.”

  “What do you mean?” She tossed the wet paper towel into the trashcan and said, “Three points!” under her breath.

  “Nice shot. I mean I will no longer have to contact you from this dreadful place. My time has come.”

  Maria hadn’t thought her life could get any weirder than it had in the past couple days, but she was continuously being proven wrong. Pretty soon, she was just going to accept everything, no matter what. Couldn’t go wrong there.

  “I mean, I’m moving on.”

  “Like, from the Denny’s bathroom? I don’t blame you. It smells clean and it looks clean, but I’d bet you a million bucks, if we ran a black light over everything, we’d both vomit up our pancakes.”

  “Pancakes?” Duke asked, cocking his head.

  “Never mind. So you obviously didn’t mean you’re moving on from the Denny’s bathroom. This is the ladies’, by the way. I think it could be a crime for a boy to enter it. But hey, I just stabbed a giant spider to death, what the fuck do I know?”

  Duke laughed. “Yes, that you did. And thank you so much, Maria.”

  “Thank me? No, thank you. Wow, I never thought I’d be thanking a ghost kid. My life is seriously messed up.”

  “No, your life is just beginning.”

  “Eh, I’ve been here for nineteen years. These past couple days definitely take the cake, but I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked in the weirdness/excitement/fun department.”

  “You’re on to Oriceran, Maria. The weirdness, excitement, and fun are all just starting.”

  “I don’t know if I should be happy about that, or… You know what? Never mind. Gotta embrace the weird. I got a friend in Austin, Texas who always says that. Maybe it’s time I make it my own catchphrase. Although ‘Oh, what the fuck is that?’ is a very close second.”

  Duke laughed again. It was a nice laugh, one without pain and fear. Maria was glad she was able to hear it, despite him being dead and all. “Yes, weird is not entirely a bad thing. You’ve grown up with Ignatius Mangood, so I’m assuming English is your second language.”

  “What would be the first?” Maria asked.

  “Weird,” Duke answered matter-of-factly.

  “You got that right.” She smiled. She wished Duke was here, and not just a ghost between worlds. If he were, she would’ve hugged him. He was part of her tribe, too. “Now, where are you going?”

  “I’m moving on.” Duke continued smiling. He seemed to glow now with a great light, almost angelic.

  “Moving on, yeah, you said that. What the heck does it mean?”

  “I’m free of the chains that bind me to the world in between because of you, Maria.”

  “Me? How?”

  “Because you were in need of guidance and I guided you. Not only did you exceed expectations, you blew them to smithereens.”

  “So you get to go where?”

  “A place called Heaven. Do you know of it on Earth?”

  Maria nodded. Tears had begun to well up in the corners of her eyes. Were they tears of happiness? Sadness? Fear?

  A combination of all those emotions.

  “We do know of Heaven. It’s nice to know it exists. So what would have happened if I failed? Would you have never gotten out of the world in between?”

  Duke shrugged. “You didn’t fail, so we will never know. I’m content with that answer. I hope you are, too. I just wanted to come and say goodbye. You are a special girl, Maria. It is too bad our paths did not cross in the mortal realm.”

  Now the tears left her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She was crying and not ashamed of it.

  “I wish you luck on the rest of your journey. The village of Dominion awaits you, Maria.”

  Fear struck her heart. She stepped forward on wobbly, muscle-tight legs. “I can’t do it without you, Duke. I need your guidance.”

  Duke pointed to the wall, where beyond the burnt-orange paint and plaster was a table full of people Maria cared about and who cared about her.

  “You have them, Maria. Your tribe. They will follow you anywhere, to the Gates of Hell, the Laughing Trees of the Dark Forest, anywhere. And you will lead them. But you cannot do it without them and they cannot do it without you.”

  Maria reached out. Her hand passed through Duke. He looked down and smiled. Then he reached his own hand toward Maria and their fingers lay atop of one another. Maria felt nothing besides a slight tingling in her palm, as if her hand had fallen asleep.

  “I must go now, Maria. Eternity awaits.” The light surrounding Duke glowed brighter than the sun. Maria didn’t shield or close her eyes. She watched it all in sheer fascination and disbelief.

  “Thank you,” Duke said.

  Then he was gone, the light washing out the Denny’s bathroom with him. Maria was alone. She sat on the trashcan after a moment, worried her legs were going to give out on her.

  Not long after, Claire and Tabby opened the door.

  “Maria?” Claire said. They turned and saw her slumped over on the trashcan.

  “Maria!” Tabby said. “Jesus!”

  The two girls helped her up.

  “I know the pancakes weren’t great, but they weren’t that bad,” Claire said.

  Tabby glared at her, a look that said now was not the time for silly jokes.

  “I’m all right,” Maria said. “I’m okay. Just a little lightheaded.” She was able to stand on her own now. And, if she was being totally honest, she felt better. Much better.

  “Come on,” Tabby said. “There’s more steaming blueberry pancakes on the table with your name on it.”

  “Unless the Muffler twins ate them all,” Claire said. She held the door open, and they helped Maria back to the table. All eyes were on her, even the waitress’s and the cook’s.

  Too young to be drinking, the cook, Reggie, thought. Oh, what do I care? I hardly remember my early twenties. He grinned and went back to flipping pancakes.

  “Are you all right, Maria?” Ignatius asked. He leaned forward and placed a cool hand on her forehead.

  “It was Duke,” she said.

  The witches and wizards at the table nodded in mutual understanding.

  “Good for him,” Agnes said.

  “He passed on,” Maria continued.

  “Because of you. You have given him an eternal life, Maria. There’s almost nothing more valiant that that,” Ignatius said.

  “This is just too weird,” Tabby said, shaking her head. Claire elbowed her.

  “Embrace the weirdness,” she mumbled, unaware this was decided as Maria’s new catch
phrase just minutes before.

  “I’m going to miss him,” Maria said. She started cutting up her pancakes.

  Are you gonna eat those? Sherlock asked.

  Maria grinned at the Bloodhound and threw him a piece. He caught it with an odd sort of finesse.

  “You may see him again,” Ignatius said. “After all, our journey is only beginning.”

  Surprisingly, the group finished the pancakes, drained the buckets of syrup, and still had room for desert. But they did not order desert. They sat in Denny’s until the sun was close to coming up, talking, laughing, and just being happy.

  Though Ignatius and Maria were the only ones bound by blood, they and the rest of the group had formed a bond that night; one exclusive to the closest of families.

  Because this group of weirdos was, after all, a family.

  “You’re sure you have to do this?” Claire asked Maria as they got out of the Kia. The damage to her car looked much worse in the rising sun. The sky was a purple-orange. Beautiful.

  “Yeah, Maria, don’t go, please,” Tabby said. There were tears in her eyes. Something Maria had never seen before.

  Maria took both of them by the hand and looked them in the eyes. “I have to go.”

  Close by, Ignatius heard this exchange. “We won’t be long,” he said.

  “It’s dangerous,” Claire said, lowering her voice.

  Maria tapped the hilt of her sword. “I can handle it. After tonight, I think I can handle any and everything. Gotta burn off those pancakes and all, you know?”

  Neither of them smiled.

  “Nothing. Okay, jokes are not my strong suit, I’ll admit that, but that…that was comedic gold.”

  Still, neither smiled.

  “Listen, I have to do this—”

  “Let us come with you,” Claire interrupted.

  “What?” Maria said. She was taken aback. “Claire, are you serious?”

  “Classes are starting soon,” Tabby said. “I can’t—”

  “This is bigger than that,” Claire said. “C’mon, Tab. Road trip! We’ve always talked about going on a road trip, right?”