Rachel's Folly

by Bruno, Monica

  When she got back to her house she was still wet with sweat. She walked into the kitchen, slipped off her shoes and began peeling off her clothes. As she took off her shirt, she realized she had been wearing it inside out. The inner seams and tags had been sticking out the whole time. Get it together, Rachel.

  She stood at the sink in only her sports bra and underwear and gulped down a glass of water. It was while she was drinking the water that she glanced down at the counter and saw Elena’s key chain lying by the breadbox. Elena had given Rachel extra keys to her condominium and mailbox, and asked if Rachel could water her house plants and check the mail while she and Jack were away. “Not today,” Rachel said out loud and then went to take a shower.

  * * *

  After lunch, she decided to stop by her office to check her messages and schedule for the coming week. Rachel’s family therapy practice was located in a rented office just west of downtown Austin. It was on a small street with mature trees and charming homes, many of which had been converted into businesses. Her tiny office was in an old home painted pale blue with white trim. It had been renovated into four separate offices with a common reception area, which used to be the living room of the house. As she drove into the parking lot, she was surprised to see Sara Dishner’s washed-out-maroon Honda Civic recklessly parked in one of the front spaces.

  Sara was a teenager whose parents had recently gone through a nasty divorce. Rachel started seeing her because she had dropped out of school and was staying out late. Her father suspected that she was drinking and experimenting with drugs. Rachel’s initial assessment was that Sara suffered from abandonment brought on by her mother leaving for long stretches of time when Sara was very young. Her mother was an alcoholic and suffered from severe depression. According to Sara’s father, she would leave without warning. During her mother’s absence, her father would have to take care of Sara and neither of them knew when or if her mother would return. Her father was the only one Sara could count on and although he was there physically, he wasn’t the most loving parent. Rachel figured Sara’s behavior was a result of her father’s decision to leave her mother for another woman.

  When Rachel walked into the reception area, she saw Sara sitting on the small couch playing with her smart phone. She had long, sun-streaked brown hair. Her eyes looked especially sad, covered in their usual thick, black mascara. She wore worn jeans with a hole over her right knee, a gray shirt with a vest jacket, and sneakers. She was a pretty girl who, like most teenagers, was trying to grow up way too fast.

  “Hey, did we have an appointment today?” Rachel asked, closing the door behind her. “I thought it was on Thursday.”

  “No, I was just hoping I’d catch you. Are you busy? Should I come back some other time?” She put her phone into the pocket of her white puffer vest.

  “No, no, it’s fine.” Rachel said, pausing. “But I don’t have a lot of time. I was just going to check my messages and then head to the grocery store. How long have you been waiting?”

  Sara shrugged. “An hour or so, I guess.”

  Rachel thought for a moment, looking around the overly organized office. “Would you like to go to the store with me? You can follow me in your car and leave when you need to. We can talk while I shop, like two friends. I won’t charge you a dime.”

  Sara smiled and nodded her head.

  Rachel rarely made offers to meet clients off-site, much less at no charge, but Sara was an exception. Most of Rachel’s clients were depressed adults. Sara was the only adolescent she was currently seeing and Rachel genuinely enjoyed their time together. She had felt an immediate connection with Sara when they first met a few weeks ago. Rachel knew it was a critical time for Sara and worried that if she didn’t get back on track soon, she could make mistakes that would be hard to undo.

  * * *

  Once they arrived at the grocery store, Rachel grabbed a shopping cart and threw her reusable shopping bags and purse in the child’s seat. She noticed Sara drive hastily into the parking lot with her car windows halfway down and her rock music blaring. Once inside, Sara joined Rachel in the produce aisle. Rachel stopped in front of the organic apples. “So, what’s on your mind?”

  “Well, I guess I didn’t know where else to go. I haven’t seen James in over a week. He won’t return my calls. I feel like shit.” Sara paused. “Uh, I mean, I’m really confused. My dad doesn’t have time for me anymore and I can’t talk to my mom.”

  “Did y’all get in a fight?”

  “No, that’s the thing. Everything was great. That’s why I’m not sure how to feel. He goes out of town a lot for work, but he usually calls me back.” Sara twirled a long lock of her hair as she walked alongside Rachel’s shopping cart, not bothering to acknowledge the flirtatious grin from the young guy restocking the canned tomatoes.

  Rachel stopped pushing the cart and looked at her. “Sara, I know you really like this boy. Right now, I’m sure he probably means the world to you, and with your father leaving, I can understand why you’re so attached to him. But trust me when I say this, ten years from now, you’ll hardly remember his name. But not finishing high school, not going on to college, these are decisions that will make a huge difference in your future. Think about what you want to do with your life. Where do you want to be in ten years?”

  “It’s not like that. I have real feelings for him,” Sara said defensively.

  “I have no doubt that you do, but answer my question. Where do you want to be ten years from now? What do you like to do?”

  “I don’t know.” Sara shrugged. “I like animals. I work with animals now.” She grabbed a handful of cheese cubes from a free sample tray next to a cheese display. They walked down another aisle as Rachel searched for Edward’s favorite gluten-free cereal.

  “As a part-time veterinarian’s office assistant? You really enjoy cleaning animal cages and taking inventory of medical supplies?”

  “I like taking care of the animals,” she said, popping the cheese cubes in her mouth one by one. Sara ignored the disapproving look from a woman in a black tailored pant suit who walked past them, carrying a designer purse in one hand and a shopping basket in the other.

  “Yes, Sara, that’s great, but why not strive to be a veterinarian? You are completely capable. You just need to get back into school and focus.”

  Sara grimaced in disgust. “I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”

  “You only have two years left. It will go by before you know it. Or maybe we can see if you can transfer to a new school. You could get a fresh start. Would you like that?”

  “I’d like to be with James. I only wish he would call me back. I need to know if everything’s alright.” Sara pulled her phone from her pocket and inspected it.

  Rachel was willing to bet good money Sara would probably fall in and out of love with at least two other boys before the year was over. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

  “When are you going to tell your parents about your new boyfriend?” Rachel grabbed the box of cereal she was looking for and placed it in the cart. Sara twisted her face in disgust when she saw it.

  “Flax seeds? That can’t taste good.”

  “It’s good for you,” Rachel said. “So, when are you going to tell them?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know why I need to. I already know they’ll hate him, and I don’t really care what they think, so what’s the point?” She stuck her phone back in her pocket and continued to walk beside Rachel.

  “Why do you think they would hate him?”

  “He’s older than me, already out of high school. He’s way smarter than they are. He loves me, that’s all I care about, ya know?” She started twirling her hair again.

  Rachel stopped pushing the shopping cart and looked directly at her. “You honestly think your parents don’t love you? Why do you think they want you to see me?”

  Sara smirked. “Dude, my dad just feels guilty, and I embarrass him. If he gets me a shrink, his friends won’t
think he doesn’t care about his poor, messed-up little girl. It’s all about appearances with him.” She abruptly moved to the side to avoid bumping into a man inspecting a peanut butter jar. “It’s nothing but smoke and—what’s that phrase?”

  “Mirrors.”

  “Right. Nothing but smoke and mirrors. James says that a lot.”

  “Well,” Rachel said, softening. “I know for a fact they worry about you. You had everything going for you. You were making good grades, on the honor roll. You’re such a bright girl, Sara. But, then you suddenly drop out of school, run away, don’t tell them where you’re going or what you’re doing. Can you imagine how that feels? Don’t you think it’s the exact same torment that you feel when James doesn’t respond to your calls?”

  “I didn’t drop out of school,” Sara interrupted. “I was kicked out for pouring jalapeño juice, Icy Hot and peppermint oil down a guy’s dumb Abercrombie pants.”

  Rachel looked up from the jar of mustard she was holding. “Why would you do that?”

  Sara’s face hardened. “Why do you think? The prick was harassing me, pulling me by my hair and forcing my head down to his crotch to make it look like I was giving him a blowjob. It was a show he liked to put on for his stupid friends.”

  “Is that why you got mixed up with the police?” Rachel asked.

  “No, that was after. I was pissed that I got in trouble and Will—the prick—walked away without a single damn worry. They couldn’t have cared less about what he did to me. They only cared about their precious little all-star football player.” She put her index finger into her mouth, gagging for emphasis.

  “What did you do?”

  Sara smiled. “I took a hammer to the shiny truck his daddy bought him.”

  “I don’t understand why you didn’t just go tell a teacher. You could have avoided all of that,” Rachel said.

  “Uh, really? That probably would have only made things worse. Besides, have you ever felt humiliated? I mean really humiliated? Have you ever felt … like, pure rage?”

  “Yes, of course I have, but I also have self-control. That’s the difference between humans and animals.” She realized the irony of her comment, and quickly put back the over-priced Kombucha tea, clinking it clumsily against the other glass bottles.

  “Whoa, easy there, Tiger,” Sara laughed.

  Rachel brushed it off. “I’m sure he would have been reprimanded.”

  “I didn’t want him to be reprimanded. I wanted him to suffer.”

  “I don’t know. You’re the one that got kicked out of school. He’s probably going to graduate and go on to college next year. Sounds to me, you’re the one who got the short end of the stick.”

  “Whatever,” Sara murmured as she nibbled on one of her chipped, navy blue fingernails.

  “I’m serious. I think you’re so mad at your father for leaving, you’re acting out. Your little stunt in school that got you suspended and your infatuation for this older boy who you know your parents would never approve of, these are obvious attempts to get your father’s attention.”

  “Well, if that’s true, it’s not working. I guess I should just go ahead and get my tongue pierced and see if that does the trick.”

  Rachel gave Sara a hard look to see if she was being serious. Sara looked back through the long strands of hair over her eyes and gave Rachel a sly smile.

  “Jo-king,” she sang. “James talked me out of that one.”

  “Well, it’s good to know he has a little common sense,” Rachel said.

  “By the way, I might be going to live with my grandma for a while and I’m not sure how long I can keep coming to see you.” She pulled her phone back out of her pocket.

  Rachel was instantly concerned. “Your father told me you’d be seeing me for at least a year. It’s only been a few weeks. What happened?”

  “Mom can’t take me anymore. She says I just come home to eat and sleep. She thinks I spend the whole day at a crack house or something. She wants me to stay with my grandma to see if a change in environment will help. I think she just doesn’t want to deal with me anymore.”

  “Will you still work?”

  “Uh, yeah. That’s the only way I can afford to keep my car. Anyway, she said my dad will only pay for our sessions until the end of the summer.”

  “Well, I guess I have until August to get you back on track then.”

  Just then, Sara looked down at her phone. “Oh my God! Oh my God!” Then her thumbs quickly got to work texting a message. Her body bounced lightly as she read the screen.

  “What is it? Is it him?” Rachel asked.

  “Yes! He says his phone’s been out of service. He’s in Dallas. He’s been super busy but everything is good. He misses me.” She held her phone to her chest, closed her eyes and smiled widely.

  “So, that’s it? Now you’re fine?”

  “Yep.”

  “Gee whiz, kid, you’re more whipped than I thought. Don’t you know you’re supposed to play a little hard to get with boys?”

  “Oh God, that’s so old school,” she said, walking away from Rachel backwards to keep eye contact. “I gotta go. I was supposed to be at work twenty minutes ago.” Then she turned around and hurried towards the exit.

  “What? Get moving then. I’ll see you Thursday and don’t forget what I said about school!” Rachel called out. Sara was already down the aisle, headed towards the sliding doors when she shouted back, “Yeah, okay, bye!”

  Rachel sighed heavily. She realized now that Sara was more unstable than she had initially thought. She could easily see this girl making some really bad choices. Rachel shook her head and thought of the famous quote from George Bernard Shaw: “Youth is wasted on the young.”

  * * *

  By Thursday Rachel had already run over twenty-five miles, more than she usually ran in an entire week. Her legs were so achy, she winced when she climbed stairs, but she needed the long runs like a junkie needed a fix. She knew she was probably pushing herself too hard, but it was the only thing that helped her feel better.

  On her way to work, while waiting at a traffic light, she decided to stop procrastinating and go straight to Elena’s condo. She figured it was better to just get it over with. After maneuvering through the downtown morning traffic, she reached Cesar Chavez Street and drove past the condo entrance and into the adjacent short-term parking lot. The condominium was built in the sixties. It was one of the first high-rise residences located in the heart of Austin. One side of the structure faced the State Capitol and downtown skyline. The other side was about three hundred feet from Lady Bird Lake, which ran through the middle of the city. She had run right past the building on Monday while she was on the running trail, but she had been so lost in thought, she hadn’t even noticed. Rachel figured the building had been renovated several times since it was first built. The lobby was decorated in classical style with giant crystal chandeliers, natural wood-paneled walls and hardwood floors. It smelled of rich mahogany. There were big oil paintings in ornate, gold-leaf frames hanging on the walls. Most of the artwork consisted of images of longhorns in bluebonnet fields set in the Texas Hill Country. The mailboxes were located off to the right-hand side of the lobby in a small mailroom with marble floors. Rachel went in, searched for the right mailbox and opened it. It was stuffed with letters and junk mail. There were also notes from the management indicating that Elena had packages in the store room. Rachel grabbed the mail and went to the front area to look for the store room. She looked around for someone to ask, but there was nobody in sight. She waited for a few minutes and when no one appeared, decided to forget it and just go upstairs.

  She walked into an open elevator, pressed twelve, and for the first time, realized that Elena’s condo was just one floor under the penthouse. The elevator was excruciatingly slow. She stood there impatiently, watching the lights above the doors illuminate as the elevator passed each floor at a snail’s pace. She thought about how empty the building felt, like the hotel from The Shi
ning.

  Dr. Wilkinson had bought the condo with a colleague in the early eighties as an investment property. His partner sold him his half five years later and Dr. Wilkinson decided to keep it as a second residence, although he never used it. He let Elena move there when she started working at the community clinic a few years ago. But now the condo belonged to Elena and Jack, a wedding present from her father.

  When Rachel finally reached the twelfth floor, she walked down the vacant hall and used the key to unlock the door.

  It was an updated two-bedroom, two-bath unit with high ceilings and nine-foot, glass wraparound windows. The windows that faced north had a long balcony and a spectacular view of the city skyline. The kitchen had been recently remodeled with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. There was a ceiling-mounted pot rack full of expensive pans hanging over the kitchen island. The condo had wall-to-wall carpet in a light cream color. The only rooms that weren’t carpeted were the kitchen, bathrooms and utility room which had antique, white porcelain tile. The entire wall in the living area was lined with white, built-in bookshelves, packed full with all types of books: biology, medicine, travel, gardening, Mexican poetry.