California Sunshine

by Tamara Miller

  "What are you apologizing for? Josh recorded it."

  I looked quickly between the two of them. "What?" I couldn't hide the uneasiness in my voice.

  "I'll delete it," Josh replied, looking at me, an apology in his eyes.

  "No. It's okay." I said, taking my coffee cup and heading to the spare bedroom we, or I had slept in. Just then Ashley came walking out of their bedroom looking like she'd seen better days. She rubbed her eyes, not noticing me as she continued walking towards the kitchen. I went into the spare room and began looking for my shirt from the night before. With each minute that ticked by I got more frustrated.

  "Hey. You mad at me?" Josh asked.

  I quickly turned around to see him shutting the bedroom door. "Not at you. No. You can keep the video by the way. Just for you. I'm embarrassed with myself and pissed that I cain't find my damn shirt!" I exclaimed throwing a pillow against the wall.

  Just then I saw a shirt hanging in front of my face, Josh's hand on my lower back. "Here."

  I turned to look at him. He was smiling. "Thanks," I mumbled.

  "No problem."

  "How'd you know where it was? Did I sleep alone last night?" I asked.

  There was a fire in his eyes when he answered. "You stripped for me last night, and no you didn't sleep alone. Hell, we barely slept at all."

  I groaned. "Oh my God," I whispered.

  "No, no. We didn't do anything. You actually got pretty pissed at me for turning you down. Started a fight, it took a while to calm you down and get you to go to sleep."

  My face flushed red. "I'm so, so sorry."

  "Don't be. I told you I'm here for good unless you change your mind. But you know what?"

  "What?" I asked, peeling Ashley's shirt off and pulling mine on.

  "We better go. I've got dinner with my family tonight."

  My stomach dropped. "Oh yeah," I said, feeling all the air leaving my lungs.

  "Hey. If you want to stay here, I understand."

  I plastered on a smile. "Nope. We're together. Now or never right?" I asked.

  "I know you're nervous. It'll be okay, though, I promise. I mean you've already met my parents and I know they love you. Sarah and Joel will love you too." He said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

  "Alright. Come on." I said, grabbing my purse.

  "Tell me why you're nervous. Please."

  I stopped dead in my tracks. "'Cause it's hard to be around anybody's family when I ain't got my own. I've been doin' this life thing by myself for a long time. I don't remember what it's like to have parents. Seventeen years, I don't even really remember 'em."

  "I'll understand, they'll understand if you don't want to go."

  I sighed heavily, not sure what else there was to do. "I'm goin'. Just, please try to understand if I seem upset. I'll try my best to be okay."

  I had gotten a shower and a fresh change of clothes, something more appropriate for this event. We pulled into a driveway where there were four other cars parked. I hadn't said much on the drive over. I was too nervous to speak, the ball of nerves in my stomach making me feel like I was going to puke.

  "You okay?" Josh asked.

  I shook my head. "No. I'll be fine, though, I promise."

  "Just remember, they'll love you."

  I nodded. "Okay," I replied, looking at the house and then finally at him.

  Josh got out and came around and opened my door. "You'll be fine."

  "I know." I said, smiling and smoothing invisible wrinkles out of my blouse.

  We walked inside, and when we did, we were greeted with laughter and conversation coming from the kitchen. I took Josh's hand without thinking about it as we made our way closer. When we stepped into the kitchen his mom spotted us first.

  She stood, rounded the table and pulled Josh into a hug and then me. "Joanna I am so glad you could make it!"

  I smiled. "I am too. Thank you."

  "Joel, Sarah, this is Joanna--"

  "My girlfriend," Josh said before his mom could introduce me as just a friend.

  "Girlfriend?!" She asked.

  I smiled. "Yes ma'am," I replied, just before she almost crushed me into another hug.

  Sarah stood and gave me a hug once Robin let go. "Well, it's awesome to meet you! Josh didn't tell me that he had a girlfriend." she said, shooting Josh a sideways glance.

  "That's because I just asked her two days ago," He replied.

  "Well, it's about time!"

  "Sarah, shut up," Joel said as he stepped closer.

  "Fine! So where are you from? I noticed you have a Southern accent." she said, leading me over to the table.

  I laughed. "Yeah, it's hard to hide. I'm from Arkansas, but I live in Nashville."

  "Oh my, long distance?" she asked, looking between Josh and me.

  "Yeah, Sarah. Long distance. Just because it didn't work out for you--"

  "I wasn't talking about that! I was just asking." She interrupted, which at this point I was beginning to notice that at least she and Robin had already interrupted him. I wasn't sure if it was just the women of the family who had the habit or if the men did too.

  "So how did you two meet?" Joel asked.

  "I was actually out here visitin' some friends. Ashley and Mike. They thought they'd take it upon themselves to try and get us together, so we all went out one night and Josh and I just clicked."

  Sarah was smiling. "That is so cute. By the way Josh, how is Mike and Ashley?"

  "They're good. They're engaged."

  "No way! I'm going to have to call her and give her hell."

  Josh laughed, "Go for it."

  "You two gonna watch the game with me?" Abel asked Joel and Josh.

  "Gee I don't know dad. Are you gonna even speak to Jo?"

  Abel laughed, "My apologies Joanna. I'm happy you're here, happy that you and my son are together, but I have a game to watch."

  I laughed. "Apology accepted. Mind if I ask who's playin'?"

  "Eagles and Lions first."

  "My money's on the Eagles," I replied.

  "Mines on the Lions. Want to put money on it?" he asked.

  "Dad, really? Betting with my girlfriend?" Josh asked.

  I laughed. "Three games today right? How much per game? Who else is playin'?"

  "Panthers against the Cowboys, and Bears against the Packers. Fifty per game, that work?" Abel asked.

  I smiled. "You're on! Lions, Panthers, and the Bears for me."

  "Oh, you're so gonna lose! Eagles, Cowboys and Packers."

  I laughed again. "I think you'll be wishin' you woulda picked my teams later."

  He smiled. "I really like you. Anybody else in?"

  Josh took his wallet out. "Lions, Panthers and Bears."

  "Don't take her side son," Abel said.

  Joel pulled his wallet out. "Your teams dad."

  "Y'all are so gonna lose. Mind if I watch?"

  Abel and Joel's jaws dropped. "You crazy? We need a female in this family that will actually watch sports. Joshua, if you don't keep her I'm gonna kill you." Abel said which made me laugh as he led me to the living room.

  "So tell me. What other sports do you watch?" Joel asked.

  "Basketball, Baseball, and Hockey."

  "Teams?" Abel asked.

  "Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Angels, and Nashville Predators. Saint's are my football team, though."

  "Pretty good teams. Josh, you gotta keeper bro." Joel said, which made me smile.

  "Oh come on! What are you doin?! Throw the ball!" I was shouting at the TV

  "Ooooh!" All three of the guys said in unison.

  "Ugh!"

  "Sore loser baby?" Josh asked.

  I smiled. "Yes," I replied, my head snapping back towards the TV.

  I, of course, lost the bet. I handed Joel and Abel a fifty dollar bill. "I'm stealing you for a little bit. Show you around." Josh said, grabbing my hand. He led me outside. "You doing okay?" He asked as soon as we were a few feet from the house.

  "I'
m actually really good. You're family's really nice."

  He smiled. "I'm not sure who I have to worry about taking to much of your time. My brother, my mom, or my sister. Joel won't mess with you. He keeps to himself."

  I smiled. "I guess I'll have to figure out a way to divide my time evenly then huh? Don't worry, though, I'm still all yours when we're alone."

  He bit his bottom lip, "Yeah, like tonight."

  I nodded. "Exactly. I'll sleep on the flight."

  "Stay the weekend."

  "I'll think about it," I replied quickly.

  "Really?"

  "Yes really. Why not? I can make my own schedule." I said, leaning up and kissing him.

  "Well, you ready for a long night? My family loves to sit around and play games. You okay with that?"

  I smiled. "Sounds like a ton of fun. Can I ask you somethin', though?"

  "Of course."

  "Don't Joel and Sarah have significant others?"

  He laughed. "Sarah did. She's a wild one, get's bored easily. Joel is married but going through a separation. Nothing happened, they just grew apart. So, no, they don't have significant other's. We're all the same in that area, once something ends we take time for ourselves. Sarah takes less time, though."

  I giggled. "I love your family. And ya know I don't use that word lightly."

  "I know you don't. Come on, let's go back inside. I'm sure the next game is about to come on."

  I smiled. "I know, and I cain't miss this one."

  Chapter 15

  Of course, my predictions were right. The Panthers and the Bears won. It was a close one with Green Bay and Bears, the Bears winning by only three points. I didn't care about how much they won by, just that they won and I wasn't wrong.

  I held out my hand. "Pay up guys. See Mr. Young I told you y'all would be wishin' you'd have picked my teams."

  He laughed. "Call me Abel, and you definitely proved me wrong. How did you get so into sports? Your dad?"

  I felt Josh grip my hand just slightly tighter. "Uh, well no. Kind of I guess, but my grandpa always watched sports. When I was in high school I had more guy friends than girlfriends so obviously, there was a lot of sports involved."

  "You ever play any sports?" Joel asked.

  "Softball, one season. I didn't agree on how the coaches treated the sports kids like God's. I was bullied a lot, by those same kids with God complexes."

  "I'm sorry," Joel said, looking a little nervous.

  "Oh no, it's okay." I smiled brightly. "I actually volunteer quite a bit. Most of my weekends are full."

  Josh looked at me quickly. "What?"

  "I don't talk about it because I don't want to feel as though I'm bragging. I'm sorry." I instantly felt bad for not telling him.

  "Don't be sorry baby, just kind of blows me away."

  "What kind of volunteer work do you do?" Abel asked as we all made our way to the kitchen.

  "Big Brother Big Sister. That's a ton of fun, I have a little sister named Amelia. Reminds me a little bit of myself at her age. I normally take her out for breakfast on Saturday mornings. And then we hang out for a while."

  "That's sweet," Sarah said.

  I smiled. "Yeah well, she's moving. I'm not happy about it, I kind of got attached. We both cried when she told me. Her parent's are both military so there's nothing they can do about it. Really sweet people."

  "What else do you do?" She asked.

  "Well, when I get back and school resumes I'm doing a career mentoring program. I'll be going to the high school for thirty minutes to an hour to talk to a few freshman kids. It's ten weeks, with a little bit of job shadowing. I love kids, I love volunteering so I'm pretty excited."

  "How do you find time for all this?" Robin asked.

  I laughed. "I love to be busy. Plus I have a flexible schedule so I can pretty much do what I want. Even bein' all the way out here I could still work if I wanted. I'm not, but I could."

  "And what is it that you do?" Sarah asked.

  "I listen to demo's, go check out live bands. Since I'm the manager of A&R I get to sign them too with executive knowledge. So that's the perks of bein' me. I come and go as I please. Actually, right before I got here, I signed a guy." I turned to Josh. "That's why I was dressed the way I was that day. That meetin' I told you about? Yeah, his name's David Copper. Guy's fantastic! His wife actually went into labor the day he brought me his demo. I canceled our meetin' that day so he could be there with her. Listened to his demo and I was sold. That was a week before I came out here. I wanted to give him enough time with his wife and new baby. I thought he was gonna die when I called him, though." I said, smiling, thinking about that phone call.

  "Wow Josh, you did good for yourself man." Joel said, obviously teasing Josh.

  "What can I say? I definitely upgraded."

  "It's about time too. God, I hated her. Such a moocher, and so damn rude!" Sarah replied, a fire in her eyes.

  I giggled. "I got the displeasure of meetin' her. Real gem that one."

  "Tell me about it! She was so controlling! I remember one time Josh had gone out of town, and I texted him to see if he made it back safely and she thought I was another girl. I should've beat her ass."

  "Who's ready to eat?" Robin asked, stopping the conversation before it turned ugly.

  "Us!" Joel and Abel replied in unison.

  "So when are you going to Nashville Josh?" Sarah asked, a bright smile on her face.

  Josh looked at me, a look of what I was pretty sure was love, in his eyes. "As soon as I can. I think it's only fair."

  I smiled, taking a sip of my water. "Well, maybe we could all go visit. I for one would love to visit Nashville." Sarah replied.

  "That would be fun. I'm kind of a buzzkill, though. I go out so much that sometimes I just sit at home and do nothin'."

  "I'm down to do absolutely nothing. Order pizza, just have a girls night in."

  I nodded. "Right?! Nothin' better than that."

  "Whoa, hold on. Sarah, she's my girlfriend. The four of you can wait until after I go visit first. I've got to lose my Southern virginity alone." Josh said, and as he did the flush of embarrassment crossed my face. I had nowhere to hide, though, so I just sat there as though it didn't faze me.

  "Kind of like when you lost your real virginity in the back of your car. Like that little brother?" Joel asked.

  "Exactly like that, of course, you know how that goes right? You lost yours in mom and dad's pool. At least I paid for my car."

  "Touche."

  Sarah and I were looking at each other in shock until Joel turned to her. "Oh come on Sarah, you've been there too. Yours was on the--"

  Robin stopped him. "Enough, the three of you! Joanna, I apologize."

  I stared blankly at her and then shook my head. "No ma'am it's fine."

  "I'm sorry." Joel apologized.

  I smiled. "It's fine. I need to apologize. That just kind of took me by surprise. I've never witnessed anything like that before."

  "Awe. I'm sorry. Are you the only child?" Sarah asked, and in that moment I witnessed three separate people let panic set in.

  "No. I have an older brother. My parent's died when I was ten. I went to my grandparents and he went to our aunt. We're not close anymore." As I spoke I could feel the tightness in my chest.

  "Oh my God. I'm so, so sorry."

  I sadly smiled. "It's fine. So anyways, back to that Nashville trip. Y'all are more than welcome to come out anytime! Just give me, at least, a days notice. I have plenty of room at my house."

  "Can I ask you something without sounding like an asshole?" Joel asked, looking at me.

  "How'd they die?" I asked.

  His mouth fell open. "How'd you know?"

  "I've dealt with it every time somebody finds out."

  Josh took my hand. "Baby you don't have to talk about it."

  I looked at him, fighting the tears. "You don't even know."

  "Because I knew you'd tell me when you were ready."

&
nbsp; "Well, I'm ready," I replied.

  "No, you're not. I can see it in your eyes, Jo. Don't make yourself do this." He tried coaxing me.

  "I've got to. They died one rainy night in November. They'd gone out for an early anniversary supper. Of course they'd had wine, and it gets pretty cold in Arkansas. I guess my dad hit a slick spot and they rolled. Six times. They both died on impact 'cause neither of 'em was wearin' seat belts." I could feel the room tilt. "I guess a passerby spotted them. The cops showed up at our house and the babysitter, who was only seventeen, called my Aunt and Uncle. They were there in no time. Being the next of kin they took us, but they had two kids of their own. So they decided that they couldn't take both of us, so I was sent to my grandparents." A few tears spilled out of my eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered, standing and quickly walking away from the table.

  Josh had caught me before I could get lost in his parents house and led me to the closest bathroom. He shut and locked the door.

  "Slow breaths,"He whispered, gently rubbing my back.

  I nodded. "I know." I mumbled, trying to follow his instructions, but my anxiety was doing everything to not let me.

  "You didn't have to do that."

  "Yes, I did. Nobody knows except for Ashley and Mike. Nobody else. None of my friends in Nashville. It's like a weight has been lifted. I mean, yeah, sure; my anxiety is killing me right now. It's more because I'm worried about what they're sayin' about me."

  "Oh baby, they aren't saying anything. Sarah and Joel are more than likely just in shock right now. I promised you I'd tell my parents and I did. I told them what I knew. They may, possibly, be in shock as well. They're worried about you. I know they are. Expect a knock in about five to ten minutes."

  The knock came sooner than expected. Josh looked at me and I nodded. He opened the door slowly, Robin walking in.

  "Sweetheart, are you okay?" She asked, leaning in and hugging me.

  I smiled. "I'm actually okay. I kinda freaked thinkin' ya'll were gonna tell me to get out or somethin'."

  She smiled in return, obviously privy to the fact that I had anxiety. Which I'm sure Josh had warned them about when he told them about my parents.

  "We're not going to turn you away just because something like that happened. Josh loves you, we love you. You're a sweetheart, dealing with a lot. I'm sorry that you had such a rough life. Anytime you need someone to talk to, you can call me. Anytime."