California Sunshine

by Tamara Miller

  He smiled. "God I love your accent. I made an omelet, with a side of fruit and whole wheat toast. I didn't realize you were such a health nut."

  "Not really a health nut, but I feel better when I eat better. With my long days I need as much energy as possible. Besides I eat junk when I want to, just not often."

  Josh moved the tray and propped himself up against the head board. "So tell me, little Miss. Sunshine, what made you really start eating like this?"

  I sat up and took the coffee from the tray. "I was born that way?"

  "Not an acceptable answer. Delve a little deeper."

  "Alright, well I was never much for candy and coke's. I always preferred fruit to sweets. I dunno. It's hard to explain. I know you're thinkin' Lance got me into this stuff, but no, he hated it. I mean he didn't go out and eat all the time, but there were times that I'd want a salad and he'd go get a burger or somethin'. Total opposite of me. It was aggrivatin' sometimes."

  "I digress then, you were born that way. Don't worry though, I won't cheat and go get a burger." Josh replied, winking at me.

  I smiled. "I ain't worried about it. I eat out a lot more than I used to, just cause I ain't got nobody to cook for. That'll change in two weeks though, you ready for that?"

  "I don't know, are you ready to feed me? I eat like a bear."

  I burst out laughing. "Well that's good. Gotta keep up that stamina somehow don't ya?"

  For a second I thought I saw a hint of blush come to Josh's cheeks. "Damn right." He replied popping a strawberry into his mouth.

  After breakfast Josh dragged me out of bed and to the living room for presents. I plopped down and crossed my legs under me. He sat my presents down in front of me and grabbed his.

  "You go first."

  I stuck my tongue out at him. "Course you'd say that. Fine, I ain't gonna argue."

  He smiled, pushing the smallest one into my hand.

  I cocked an eyebrow at him as I began peeling the paper off. Once I opened the box I almost dropped it as my eyes flew up to meet his.

  "Seriously?"

  "Seriously. I noticed you were eyeing them, so I had to."

  I smiled, as the diamonds glinted in the light of the sun outside. I pulled one of the earrings out of the box and held it up. They were intertwining ribbons of black and white diamonds that formed the infinity symbol. I had spotted them at some store we'd gone to when I was in California visiting.

  The next box I opened was another piece of jewelry I had spotted in a thrift store I had begged Josh to take me to. It was a silver cuff with a black onyx stone in the middle. I could have squeeled with joy, which I'm pretty sure I did because I got a look from him that was a mixture of amusement and pride.

  The final package was a two-in-one tablet/laptop. I giggled to myself knowing that I had gotten him the same thing, he just didn't know that yet.

  "I know, you got me the same thing." He whispered as he grabbed his first box.

  I had been wrong, he did know, but I just shrugged. "You don't know that."

  "Baby, it's the same shape."

  "Shut up." I replied as he pulled a black fossil watch out.

  The next present was a black and white beaded protection bracelet. Something I had been wanting to get him since I found out he was an EMT. I watched him slip it on and for once I was proud of myself for choosing the right thing.

  "So open the next one." I said.

  He laughed. "Alright, alright." He grabbed the last one and tore the wrapping paper off. "Oh, thanks! I had no idea!"

  I laughed. "Smart ass."

  "But I'm your smart ass."

  "Fair enough." I replied, gently shoving him.

  "You know I got you one, not thinking we'd be moving in. I know you've got a laptop, but it looked pretty old."

  "Ol' reliable?" I asked, smiling and winking at him.

  "Well that tells me everything I need to know right there."

  "Lance got it for me when we first got together. It's been a good computer."

  "You mean he actually got you something expensive?"

  I sighed. "Please don't. I loved him like you loved Alexis. I don't love him anymore, but he was a huge part of my life. Of my growin' up. I mean didn't Alexis teach you anything?"

  "Yeah she taught me to be more observant. I'm sorry Jo, I shouldn't have said that. I understand he was a part of your life."

  "Thank you for apologizin'. He don't mean nothin' to me, hasn't in a while. Hell yeah, I still wonder what the hell I did to end up gettin' cheated on. In the long run, though, I know I did nothin' wrong. He just wanted the thrill."

  "Does he ever come around?"

  I chewed on my bottom lip.

  "Jo."

  "Sometimes. Leaves flowers and stuff. He's still tryin' to apologize even though our friends, my friends have told him it's inexcusable."

  "Let him come by while I'm here."

  I laughed. "I cain't tell ya not to do nothin' dumb, I almost bashed Alexis' head into the wall."

  He nodded. "Yeah, that was awesome. I normally don't wish harm on ex's or anything, but she was way out of line."

  I nodded in return. "I was really seein' red that day. What did you tell Ashley on the street, though?"

  "To not overstep that line. Be gentle and if you needed your space, let you have it. She told me that that wasn't how it worked. She put me in my place."

  I rolled my eyes. "Actually, that's exactly how it works, but she don't believe that. Thank you for understandin' me though."

  "I got you beautiful," He replied, winking. I couldn't help but laugh.

  I had my head resting on Josh's chest, his arms wrapped around me as we watched 'The Grinch', and just as it was about to get to Cindy Lou Who talking the Grinch into going to the celebration my phone began to ring. I looked at the screen: Caleb. I was a little surprised, but knew I needed to answer it.

  "Hey stranger."

  "Hey Jo. Sorry I ain't called you in a while--"

  "Yeah, ass, three months."

  "I know, I know. I was out of the state, workin'."

  "You still coulda called, but I'll forgive ya."

  "Sis it's a two way street, you coulda called too."

  "Touche. So what's up?"

  "Well, Michelle and I was wonderin' if you ain't got no plans if you'd like to come have dinner with us."

  I smiled, and sat up. "Well, mind if I bring somebody with me?"

  He chuckled. "As long as it ain't Lance."

  "God no, it ain't Lance. Mamaw and Papaw gonna be there?"

  He sighed heavily. "Yeah, I'll understand if you don't wanna come--"

  "I'll be there. Five good?"

  "Perfect. Sis?"

  "Yes Caleb?"

  "I've missed you and I love you."

  "I've missed you too big brother. I love you too. Cain't wait to see ya'll. Want me to bring somethin'?"

  "We've got it covered, just bring yourself and your friend."

  I smiled brightly, not wanting this conversation to end, but knowing I would be seeing him later.

  "Okay. See y'all at five. Bye."

  "Bye."

  Nerves were playing basketball in my stomach as I finished my hair. Josh walked in, putting his hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump.

  "Whoa, you okay?"

  "No not really." I surprised myself with that admission. I never openly admitted when I wasn't doing good.

  "Nervous to see your family?"

  "Very. My Mamaw and Papaw are gonna be there, I ain't seen them since I was eighteen. What if they start givin' me hell?"

  So many different scenarios were running through my mind. The what if's were killing me silently.

  "And if they don't? What if it goes better than you think it is? Maybe they know they were wrong."

  "Yeah and maybe they know that I'm doin' good for myself. What if they just wanna worm their way in? I don't know, I'm scared they've all got a secret agenda, and I'm afraid that this night is gonna go to hell in a hand basket q
uick, fast and in a damn hurry."

  "Breathe baby, I'll be there with you. Think about that, look I'll even come up with a safe word for you so if you want to leave I'll know."

  I nodded vigorously. "Uh...how 'bout...shit I dunno! I cain't even think straight!"

  "Just try to calm down. Safe word's out, how about you just send me a text. That'll work right?"

  I couldn't help but laugh. "That'll work. I'm sorry I'm freakin' out."

  "I understand, more than you think I do. You ready?"

  "No, but might as well be, right?" I asked, kissing him gently on the cheek and heading towards the door.

  He grabbed my hand in his and turned me to face him. "You don't have to put on the brave face. I'm right here. I've got your back."

  "I'm sorry, it's just what I do."

  "Then let me take the lead. Be vulnerable, when we get there go in like a beast, just know that I've got your back. If they start giving you hell we'll leave, fingers in the air. I don't give a damn, first impressions are everything to me, but you mean more."

  "You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you."

  We arrived at Caleb and Michelle's house a little before 5pm. I took a deep, calming breath before ringing the doorbell.

  "Just remember, I got you." Josh whispered in my ear.

  I nodded as I quickly pushed the button.

  "Calm down."

  I then realized how calming his voice was, but how it wasn't really making a difference. Anxiety had its nasty grip on me and it wasn't letting go anytime soon.

  "Joanna!" Michelle exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me.

  I smiled and returned the hug. "Hey Michelle, this is my fiance Josh. Josh this is Michelle."

  She gasped and looked at him. "My goodness, nice to meet ya! How long y'all been engaged?"

  "A day." He replied, smiling as she wrapped him in a hug as well.

  "Well come on in. Everybody else is already here."

  With that last sentence, my heart sank and I grabbed Josh's hand. I squeezed, feeling like I was going to pass out. I was moving through a haze as we followed Michelle into the den. There sat Caleb, Mama, Papaw, my Aunt Phyllis, Uncle Buck, their two kids Rhonda and Tyler, and then Caleb and Michelle's two kids, Hunter, and Blake.

  The room fell silent as we walked in and I felt trapped almost immediately. Caleb stood, eyeing Josh and crossed over to us. He pulled me into one of his bear hugs and I could feel my heart breaking. Breaking for the fact that like every year I wished our parents were here.

  "Hey sis, who's the guy?" He asked, in my ear.

  "Caleb, this is Joshua. Josh this is my big brother Caleb."

  They shook hands, but Caleb was watching him.

  "So who are you?" He asked Josh.

  "Her fiance."

  Caleb slapped him on the shoulder. "Well, welcome to the family."

  Chapter 25

  I was standing there shocked, I couldn't believe Caleb had been so welcoming. I took a few steps forward, Josh right beside me when my grandmother stood.

  "Hey, sweetie how are ya?"

  I smiled slightly. "I'm fine. How are you?"

  "I'm good, better now that we're all together."

  I nodded, feeling the room spinning. This all felt so strange and so foreign to me. I hadn't been around my grandparents or Aunt since I graduated high school and flew the coop. Even then none of them were this nice to me.

  "So y'all live in Nashville?" I asked, worried that I'd have to start visiting them more.

  "Oh Lord no, we're still in Arkansas. This place is too big for me."

  "I love it," I replied, hightailing it to the kitchen to find Caleb.

  "What the hell is goin' on?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

  He pulled me further away from the door. "It's time all of us put our pasts behind us. We ain't gettin' no younger Jo, make amends."

  I scoffed. "Make amends? With them?! Why? They never loved me!"

  "That may be true, I don't know, but you gotta give 'em a chance."

  I glared at him. "I don't know what the hell you're up to, but I don't like it. The first time they say somethin' stupid we're outta here."

  "Fair enough. So tell me somethin', how'd you two meet?"

  "Ashley and Mike. I went to visit 'em back in September, remember? Josh is a friend of theirs, we hung out and things went from there."

  "I take it you're gonna take care of my baby sister right? We may not be as close as we used to be, but I'll still kill ya if you hurt her."

  I rolled my eyes. "Shut up Caleb, you didn't kill Lance."

  He laughed. "I didn't have to, you smashin' the shit outta his car scared him enough."

  I smiled. "Daddy didn't raise a scaredy cat."

  "That he didn't. Y'all want a drink?"

  I nodded. "Please! This is gonna be a long damn night playin' nice. Strongest thing ya got."

  "I've missed my baby sister," He replied winking at me and I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

  As we were sitting down at the table to eat, my Papaw looked at me with his serious expression and deep inside I knew shit was about to get real.

  "Joanna, I want to be the first to apologize for not havin' handled you better when you were livin' with us. It had just been years since we'd had kids in the house, and you were so, so--"

  "Wild." My Mamaw finished for him.

  "How was I wild? I didn't do nothin' on school nights. I came home, did my homework and if I ever had practice I'd go. Never did I stay out past curfew, and y'all only inforced that on school nights. So tell me, what did I do so wrong to make y'all punish me like ya did? Was it the tattoo's? Was it the inability for me to not stay in a town that knew my past and apparently my future, so they thought, better than I did? I wanted more for myself."

  "We understand that now. Yes, it was the tattoos, but it was also the fact you were datin' that boy. We all know you've always had a taste for the stereotypical bad boy."

  "Yeah and I'm fairly certain Lance cured me of that," I replied, feeling ashamed of the decisions in the area of love I had made when I was younger.

  "How's Joshua there any different?" My Papaw asked, looking between the two of us.

  "He ain't the stereotypical bad boy. He's been cheated on as well. However, he's got his life together just like I've got mine. And surprisingly enough he's been there more than any of you ever have been."

  "Now you know that ain't fair young lady. We would've been there for ya too if you'd let us." Aunt Phyllis said.

  "It's completely fair, comin' from the woman who couldn't let siblin's stay together. I understand y'all have two kids, but what was two more? That's right, I was easier to get rid of than Caleb was. I was the loudmouth, take no shit from anyone girl. I was too much to handle. And ya know what, I know it's comin'. One of y'all are gonna tell me that's enough, but it's not. I've held all this in for nine years, now I think it's time y'all get a little taste of how ya made me feel. Mamaw, Papaw I love y'all, but y'all could've supported me a little more. Aunt Phyllis, Uncle Buck, I ain't really got nothin' to say to y'all two. And Caleb, thanks for being my big brother, but we ain't been close in a long time so I don't even know what to say to you. That was no one's fault, just life. Now, I've said my peace, I forgive all y'all, now can we please eat?"

  I looked over at Caleb who was hiding a smirk behind his glass of tea.

  "Let's eat," He replied, giving me a quick wink. And in that moment, I understood why he'd gotten them all here. He knew it was time for me to let them know exactly how I felt for all those years so that I could move on with my life. And I had to wonder, did Ashley have anything to do with this?

  To Be Continued...

 

 

 
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