Senior Prank (9781620957295)

by Bunevich, Tom

  Jose dumped the formula down the sink, and thoroughly washed the sink and container. He didn’t use the fan. He wanted no evidence left behind. He left the restroom, walking quickly in the opposite direction of Ms. Heron’s class so he wouldn’t be spotted.

  Hian wandered back into class and took his chair. It was 11:05. The class was seated in a circle engaged in a lively class discussion with their special guests standing in the back of the room. “Tell me what you think of Heather in The Scarlett Letter?” offered Ms. Heron. “Do you think she got what she deserved? Do you think the author is criticizing religion in this story? Was wearing the letter A on her chest just punishment for adultery?”

  “No, she was mistreated,” said Lindsay Leeham. “She showed dignity, and although she could have gotten others into trouble, she simply accepted her punishment. I think Nathaniel Hawthorne in some ways was attacking religion and its hypocrisy.”

  Then Hian, apparently under the potion, usually the quietest kid in the class, blasted out, “That bitch got what she deserved,” he said. “That white ho should have had to wear a B for booty call. You know what I’m saying. Yo, dog, the home boys would have called her a gang….”

  Before he could finish, Ms. Heron yelled, “Hian, I’m ashamed of you,” we don’t talk like that in this class,” a sign of her hypocrisy where foul language and edgy talk is the usual. “Please stop that type of language.”

  “She had it comin’! Ya feeling me dog?” Hian continued, and with that Ms. Heron asked him to leave the room. Every member of the tour group stood in stunned silence. Ms. Heron took Hian to the door, asked him to wait outside, and went back to class. “Let’s continue,” she said. “Who wants to be next?”

  As Hian left the room, he got a final word, exclaiming, “That Heather was a hoochie-momma!” The class was in hysterics by now, laughing out loud, and wondering what just happened to the quietest kid in the class. Playing him for the prank was easy. He made a lasting impression.

  Just then a loud fart sound blasted from her bookcase. Someone had planted a fart machine in Ms. Heron’s bookcase, running it by timer. She blew it off, figuring enough damage was done, and continued class, offering some of her thoughts on the story in order to avoid many more such disruptions. Then the fart machine went off, again.

  Winston interrupted with a short speech. “I’m afraid you students need a refresher in how to behave,” he said. “More is expected from you. Now, settle down and let’s show what constitutes a good, productive, intelligent class discussion. Now excuse me, I have some other business to take care of.” With that he went into the hall. About 10 minutes had elapsed since Hian had reentered the room.

  “Young man, I am appalled by your behavior,” said Winston to Hian. “You will be disciplined for this.”

  “Excuse me, sir, for what?” Hian said sheepishly. “I’m sorry; what did I do?”

  “You know darn well what you did. Now get back to class.” Hian entered the room and went to his chair, bowing his head in disgrace, still not knowing what he had done. Class continued and things returned to normal. With about five minutes left in the period, Winston said to the governor and his group, “It’s time to go. The football office is next. We have a great team this year. Some of our kids might even go to Texas this year.” As a Texas A. & M. graduate this was hard for Winston to accept.

  As the group progressed toward their next destination, they heard a large high-pitched scream from the nearby men’s restroom. “AH, shit, I can’t believe this,” came the yell loud enough for all to hear.

  Running into the restroom, Winston noticed a toilet had done a major flooding and was still running onto the floor. The water ran out into the hall where the rest of the group was waiting. The school was turning into heartbreak hotel as far as Winston was concerned.

  Winston thought to himself this is right in line with the rest of his day. His saw his dreams of All American School probably were going down, or was it out, with the toilet. He came out of the room, radioed the office for a janitor ASAP, and told the group “let’s go.”

  Everyone was silent with the realization nothing need be said. This wasn’t the usual way these visits went. Unfortunately, there was still more to come, not all of it a positive representation for an All American school.

  Senior Prank/ Chapter Seven

  As the group headed towards the football locker room, Winston was hoping nobody would look up at the flagpole. Flying under the flags of the United States and state of Texas was a pair of women’s panties, a bra and men’s underwear. In fact, Winston thought quickly and tried to get their attention away from the flagpole.

  “Wow, it’s a beautiful day,” he said, pointing to the sky to his right. “Looks like the sun is telling us we aren’t ready for winter yet.”

  However, the two judges had noticed the lingerie show. “Look,” one said to the other, pointing towards the flags. “I wonder what country those are from?”

  Just before the locker room, the governor noticed the ROTC room was on his left.

  “I need to stop here and thank these students for thinking about a military career. They deserve some credit,” he said. With that he opened the door. His attention went to the back of the room where five young men were playing poker. A huge stack of chips sat in the middle of the table. One of them looked up, saw the governor, followed by Winston, and figured he better act quick.

  The student took his right arm and dragged it across the table to the other side, pushing the chips into the air, as though to hide the evidence. At the same time, he said, “Ditch the cards now!”

  “Where’s Major Charles?” asked Winston to nobody in particular.

  “He went to the supply shack,” one of the students said. “A bunch of the students went with him. He said he’d be right back.”

  Winston figured he had better start taking a stand against what he was seeing.

  “You know the policy against playing cards in school. Let’s get them away and forget about playing with them in the future.”

  “Fellows, I just want to find out if any of you are considering a career in the military?” asked the governor. “As a representative of the state of Texas I thank you for your service.”

  “I am,” answered one the poker players, “and I leave two weeks after graduation. I’m joining the Army. My brother is at war now. My dad was in the Army. We got to win that war on terror.”

  “Well thank you son, good luck and God bless,” answered the governor. With that Winston said, “Governor, we have to go.” The rest of the group was waiting outside the door and joined in the walk. With the flag display and poker game, Winston was hoping the visit would soon be over.

  As they turned the corner to head down the corridor to the football office, they looked up and in the second floor rafters were three or four large campaign posters, reading ‘Busch for Governor, He Really Represents Us.’ These were left from the last campaign and referred to the governor’s opponent, Mark Busch.

  As the governor looked up, he quipped, “I guess not everybody’s a supporter of the real governor. Well you can’t please them all.”

  “Sorry, governor,” Winston added, “hope you don’t take offense. Hey, I voted for you.”

  “No offense, thanks for your vote. Now where’s the football office?” The group arrived at the football office at 11:43 a.m. As they entered, head coach Bill Welsh got up to meet them. A few of his coaches, and about 15 of his star players were on hand. Coach McCarthy, after the library incident, wasn’t there. He figured he had to lay low and out of Winston’s way.

  Coach Welsh greeted the governor, his wife and members of his group with a handshake and said, “Welcome to the home of the Thomas Jefferson Patriots, five time state football champions. Thanks for coming. Now I’ll let you meet some of my coaches and players. If you don’t mind some of us would like to get a photo with you.

  I have two special players I want you to meet.”

  Football was the king sport at TJ
HS. Every year the team produced records between 12-2 and 15-0, depending on how far the team advanced in the state playoffs. The school had a number of players every year earn college scholarships. The locker room was on par with a top college program. The field was Astroturf. The trophy case bulged with trophies and awards. Word had it that teachers were even intimidated to provide grades that would keep top players eligible.

  After a round of photos, Coach Welsh introduced the first of his two special players, Nick Edwards. Nick was a top offensive lineman who was paralyzed from the waist down in a car surfing accident three months ago. His goal was to graduate on time, and despite his hardship he made it to school every day. He had signed a scholarship to Texas Tech University last February before his accident. He still hoped to go to Tech, although the school was now rescinding the offer after his accident.

  “Son, sorry about your accident,” said the governor. “Hope you get a complete recovery. I admire you for continuing to make school your goal. Good luck.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it,” answered Nick. “It’s just a new challenge in life.”

  Then came the handshake with Kevin Williams. Williams is the team’s top wide receiver. He has been arrested twice and kicked out of one school. The father of one of the team’s other players, an attorney, pulled enough strings to keep him eligible to play.

  Williams got special instruction and lessons from many of his teachers, a result of his parole. He spent most of the days doing those lessons in the locker room, assisted by a host of other players. He was rated one of the top recruits in the state.

  “It’s my pleasure to meet you,” said the governor. “I understand you’re having a good season. You know we’d love to have you at the University of Texas. Keep up the good work and stay healthy.”

  “Thank you, sir,” answered Williams. “I’ve been in contact with UT, but I ain’t sure where I’m going yet. I just want to help us win another state championship.”

  Then the governor asked about the presence of Teddy “Big Bear” Hamilton. “I want to meet him,” said the governor, “and remind him UT is thinking of him, too.”

  “He told me he’d be a little late,” said the coach. “He had some business to take care of.” This is where Elvis came in.

  Elvis knew he could not get the potion to Big Bear in the locker room, so he arranged a meeting with a ‘sports agent’ to discuss some payments to play for certain colleges. Elvis told Big Bear the agent would meet him under the football bleachers at 11:45 a.m. The agent was actually a member of Elvis’ band posing for fun as the agent for the prank.

  Elvis met the pair under the bleachers about Noon. Elvis was wearing a Frankenstein mask so he couldn’t be identified. He walked up from behind and told Bear to get back to the football office but say nothing of the meeting or he could get declared ineligible for the rest of the year, or even in college. “You can’t say anything,” Frankenstein told him. “Coach, your parents, anybody. Got it?”

  “Yes, sure do. This meeting never happened.” With that Frankenstein sprayed Bear in the face with the formula, telling him it would cool him off. Frankenstein then left, taking the route that would allow minimal exposure. He hid the mask in his pants after he was out of sight of the pair.

  Frankenstein’s monster, Big Bear, walked into the locker room, and the coach immediately called him over and together both started walking towards the governor.

  “Governor, this is Big Bear Hamilton.” he offered. “One of our best of all time.”

  “My pleasure. Can I call you Big Bear?” asked the governor. “Coach tells me you are the main man on defense.”

  “Thanks, but we’re a team,” answered Big Bear. “Mr. Governor you look hot in that suit. You are a real hottie. You are pretty buff. I’d love to see you in the showers. You interested in taking a walk on the….

  “Er, excuse Big Bear,” Coach Welsh blurted in. “Quit joking around.”

  “No, I’m not joking,” countered Bear, sliding his body so it could rub into the governor’s side. “Why do you think I like those big pile ups on the football field? It gives me a chance to show my other side,” winking at the governor and pinching the policitian’s butt.

  “Sorry, governor,” the coach said. “He’s not really…”

  The governor stunned by the action and conversation pulled away from the group and said, “Excuse me, I want to look at some of your trophies and talk to some of the other players. Big Bear keep UT in mind.”

  The coach grabbed Big Bear and said, “BB I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but man you can’t act like that. You got to behave. Now go in the back and don’t let me see you anymore during this visit.”

  Winston didn’t see the interchanges between the governor and Big Bear and the coach and Big Bear as the principal was circulating among the players. However, Coach Welsh came over to Winston and let him know what had happened.

  “Let’s just hope the governor thinks he was goofing off,” he told the principal. “For now I told him to go in the back and stay out of here. I told two players not to let him out from there.”

  Just then another player came frantically running into the locker room hollering, “Coach, we got a problem. The football field’s on fire.”

  Coach Welsh ran towards the fire extinguisher shouting to two of his coaches, “One of you call 9-1-1 and one of you follow me. Grab an extinguisher on the way there. Excuse me Mr. Governor, we have to take care of this.”

  The trio headed to the football field and saw a flaming spear buried into the ground near one endzone and a mess of fresh cow mature spread throughout the endzone. The coach sprayed the spear, extinguishing it. In the distance he heard the sirens of the fire trucks. “You stay and meet them and tell them false alarm,” Welsh told one of the assistants. Better yet call them back and tell them no need to come.”

  As Coach Welsh re-entered the locker room, he said to all, “No big deal. Looks like the Westside Warriors gave us a visit to remind us of our game Friday night. It’s under control. Just more fuel on the fire.”

  With that Winston said, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s time to have lunch. We all can use a break today.” Before heading out, they got another surprise. One of the players ran from the back of locker room carrying a full bucket of water.

  “I’m goin’ put that fire out,” he said, just as he tripped hurling the water into the air. It landed mostly on the governor’s wife, drenching her from head to toe.

  “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry,” Winston said. “Son, how could you be so careless? Get her some towels.” As she stood there, the player said, “Maam, I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

  Winston suggested that she be given a football robe and wait while her dress was dried in the football room’s dryer. “You go on,” she insisted. “I should be over there in a few minutes.” She waited with the coaches in the football office while her dress spun in the dryer. The governor’s wife in a robe in the football locker room wasn’t on the agenda for this day. However, one student captured the incident on his phone. It was sure to become a YouTube sensation, and in few hours, it was.

  At 12:25, right on schedule, the group, minus the governor’s wife, arrived for lunch. The room was able to accommodate only 25 people, so it was limited to two school board members, the five others in the governor’s party, Winston, Diaz, eight members of the county school administration, five teachers and two special guests – the presidents of the PTA and Booster Clubs.

  Upon entering, tables with nameplates greeted each guest. Before seating Sonny Pulston, Missy’s mother and president of the PTA, went up to the governor and said,

  “Hi, Governor Montoya, my name is Sonny Pulston, and I am president of the school PTA. My family is a big fan. Perhaps you met my daughter Missy earlier in the day. She’s in the National Honor Society. She had on blue suede shoes. She hopes to intern in the governor’s office one day. By the way, where’s the first lady?”

 
“She’d tied up at the moment,” answered the Governor, diplomatically avoiding an attention to the unfortunate earlier incident. “She’ll be here shortly. I think I remember Missy. She left quite an impression. Thank you.”

  With that Winston said “Would everyone please be seated? The staff will serve you once all are seated.” As they sat a television set tuned to a local station played on, most unaware of what was being said. Suddenly, one of the teachers near the television said, “Look they are talking about our school!” She jumped up and upped the volume.

  With that the anchor went to a field reporter, who was stationed in front of the school. The room became silent, all listening to the news report.

  “This is Tom Roberts, reporting from Houston’s Thomas Jefferson High School,” the reporter started. “Today is the big day for Thomas Jefferson. The governor and judges from the All American School panel are touring the school. The school’s one of the few in the state nominated for this honor. However, word has it that the visit so far hasn’t gone well.”

  As everyone silently listened in disbelief, the reporter continued. “There have been reports of a number of incidents and pranks that took place during the visit. We weren’t allowed to join the group for the visit, so we are getting accounts from students. We’ll have to wait until the principal holds a news conference this afternoon.”

  “What have you heard that seemed didn’t go right? the anchor asked the reporter.

  “Students acting funny, a student locked in a janitor’s closet, mice running around the auditorium, a fart machine in class, inappropriate language and computer usage….those are just some of the things students are telling us.”

  “Turn that off!” Winston said, “That’s the way the media usually is – looking for the negative. Tell them Governor, it’s been real.” A teacher jumped up and pushed the off button, ending the reminders of Winston’s nightmares.