Senior Prank (9781620957295)

by Bunevich, Tom

  The guest speaker, Senator Randolph Jenner, a Thomas Jefferson graduate, spoke next using a bunch of typical graduation phrases, such as “Your future’s in front of you, you can be anything if you are willing to pay the price, and this isn’t the end, this is your beginning.” After 15 minutes, it was time for the valedictorian and salutatorian to offer their wisdom. When Muhammed Albani took the podium, he looked terrified.

  Just then Lamont hollered “Hungry Dog, Whopper!” G heard him, laughed and rifled off his speech with ease.

  Then came the moment all had waited 13 years of school for. The awarding of the diplomas finally was on the agenda. The honor students were awarded diplomas first. Elvis sat there, thinking it would be the final time he’d see many of these fine young females strut their stuff. He thought about the many pranks and jokes he had played on many of these students throughout the years. “Man,” he thought to himself, “it’s been a blast.” Those pranks livened up many dull school days.

  But the short trip across the stage through the years is where students thought self expression was necessary. Winston tried to limit misbehavior and set up two of his strictest teachers by the steps to the stage to check each student before they made the march. But somehow, those determined to bend the rules found a way to circumvent the situation.

  One student, known as FlipFlop, was told no flip flop shoes across the stage. Elvis didn’t even know his name, since everyone called him FlipFlop for his penchant of wearing these type of shoes everyday. Nobody ever saw him in any other shoe in the four years at TJHS. As FlipFlop approached the teachers, they peered down at his feet. Wow, a pair of saddle shoe loafers. But when his name was called, he paraded across the stage, holding up his gown so that all would see his flip flop shoes. Winston kept going, handing the youngster his diploma as though he didn’t notice the footwear.

  Next came Bling, the nickname for Lavonte Mills, who was never seen without his 25 or so gold chains and fingers full of gold rings. Excessive jewelry was not permitted so when Lavonte was checked by the teachers at the foot of the stage he had two chains on. They told him to tuck them in his robe. By the time he reached Winston, the usual 25 chains and rings appeared.

  Jose Hernandez was among the next group. He dared not do anything that would embarrass his or Missy’s parents so he decided there would be only one expression of joy. He took out final exam from Ms. Blossom’s chemistry class, held it up and kissed it, then walked over to Winston, got his diploma and handshake, and exited the stage.

  The school’s top rapper, James Javoris, was one of the next diploma recipients.

  James, who called himself Dollar Bill because he said he was twice as good as Fifty Cent, was never seen in school without his iPod in his ear, bouncing and rapping around the halls. There was no iPod, but he did rap and pimp across the stage, stopping to get his diploma and his soul type handshake. He continued his act as he exited the stage.

  Elvis McGraw, the class clown, was next. Everybody wondered what he would do. The king of pranks had to have one up his sleeve. Instead, he walked over to the podium and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I have a special announcement. One hour after this ceremony is over the Texas Redneck Rockers will hold a special free concert for this graduating class right here in this stadium. See you there. Now I got to move on.” He went to Winston, received his diploma and left the stage.

  The crowd didn’t know whether he was serious or not. It was the first time such a happening was mentioned. Many thought that Elvis simply saw an opening and took it; others were convinced if Elvis said it, it was true. They’d have to wait and see.

  Finally, it was Lamont’s turn. The teachers let him pass wearing his state championship track medals and track shoes. When his name was announced Lamont got down like he was getting into the starting blocks for one of his races. Winston saw this and decided to play along by putting his hand in the air as if to fire the starting gun. Winston pumped his arm as if to shoot the gun. Lamont jumped out of the blocks, ran over to Winston, gave him a hug, grabbed his diploma and took off.

  Charles Torgon, the ROTC student, pulled out his army helmet and marched across the stage, getting his diploma, saluting the principal and marching off. He was leaving for basic training in two weeks. As he did this, a few of the graduates, chanted loudly in unison, “Patton, Patton, Patton….”

  The final student to receive his diploma was Eric Zutich. Since he was the school text messaging champ, he walked across the stage playing with his phone. Zutich was so good he could text with the phone in his pocket without error. So, he held up his phone, texting in the air above his head as he walked.

  After the last diploma, Winston went back to the stage, gave his thank yous and closing remarks. He confirmed what Elvis had said saying, “Yes, Elvis’s group will play starting at 11 p.m., an hour from now.” Both had cut a deal with Elvis that if Elvis’s group got to play for an hour, he’d let Winston know who was responsible for all the pranks during the governor’s visit. Not solving the crimes had the same impact as falling asleep in the last ten minutes of Law and Order. Things seemed incomplete. Now he could complete the puzzle, even if meant a deal with Elvis.

  Winston had a minister close the ceremony, then dismissed the students. The band struck up Elger’s big hit from 1901 and the students filed out to their place under the bleachers. Once all the graduates disappeared, Winston dismissed the rest of the crowd saying, “Congratulations graduates. You are now alumni of Thomas Jefferson. Good luck. Now everyone else, you are free to go.”

  Once they were dismissed the students took off to greet family. A few ran to the parking lot to see if the pie fight was on. When they got there, they saw a pick up truck full of whipped cream cans and pie plates. Students grabbed plates and a few cans of cream, started filling them and chasing each other, blasting each other with pies to the face. As more students saw what was happening, they, not wanting to miss out on the fun, took off to join in the action. Soon there were more than 250 students slamming each other with pies.

  Frightened parents scampered away, trying to avoid the fray. Some students tried to avoid the action, but were blasted by fellow classmates. Aaron Ryan and Winston ran towards the fight, yelling for the combatants to end the battle. As they stood by, two seniors crept up and from behind reached around and hit them in the face with a pie. Others then rushed the duo, striking them with more pies. They were now into the fight so each grabbed some pie plates and whipped cream cans and joined the action. It had turned into an old fashioned Three Stooges type pie fight. It would be on YouTube within an hour and a new school tradition across the nation from that day forward.

  After about 10 minutes the fight seemed to end. The whipped cream was all gone, now lying all over the football field parking lot. Pie plates also scattered the landscape. Students wiped away the residue from their faces, some even throwing it at others as a last resort. Winston’s wife came up to him. He looked at her and said, “I haven’t had fun like that in a long time.”

  The Texas Redneck Rockers had avoided the action by wheeling their large van onto the football field next to the stage. They were setting up for their concert. Elvis looked over wanting to join the pie fight, but his band mates quickly told him to stay and participate in the set up. In fifty minutes they were ready to play. At 11 p.m. they started playing, starting out with Jason Aldean’s big hit, My Kinda Party. They played until midnight, when Winston, grabbing a microphone on stage, ended the night, telling students to go home. Their final song was Cooper’s School’s Out. Now it could be done without interruption.

  As the group packed up to go home, Winston went over to Elvis. He told Elvis, “Okay, Mr. McGraw, I lived up to my end of the bargain. I let you have the concert. Now you got to tell me about the governor’s visit.” He stood and waited.

  The king of surprises had another one. “I told you I would tell you, but I didn’t say when,” Elvis answered. “I will tell you 10 years from now when you come to our 10th year reunion
.”

  “That wasn’t part of the deal,” Winston answered. “No fair.”

  “I never said when did I?” Elvis answered. “You’ll just have to wait.”

  “You got me again,” Winston said. “By the way, did you have anything to do with the pie fight?”

  “No, I wish I did though. It was a great idea.”

  “By the way Elvis, Monday morning I am submitting my resignation,” Winston said. “After 40 years, I’ve had enough. I’ll finish up June 30. I’m already planning a dream vacation taking an RV through the country for six months. It’s something the wife and I have always dreamed of doing.”

  “This school’s going to miss you, Mr. Winston,” Elvis said. “You’re a fine man, a fair man, and you’ve always had the kids best interest at heart. I know that it hurt when you didn’t get selected as All American school, but in my mind, this is the All American school and you are the All American principal.

  “I’m goin’ miss getting over on ya,” Elvis said, reaching his hand to shake Winston’s hand. “It’s been real.”

  “I want to say this Elvis,” Winston answered. “It’s been a pleasure to have seen so many kids come through here. My life may never be the same after I retire, but neither will this school. For in all my days, nobody, and I mean nobody was as good at pranks and shenanigans as you. Good luck, son. I think you’ll be a big success in life. I think you’ll hit it big with that guitar and music.”

  With that the doors to the equipment van closed, and the musicians headed for their cars. Elvis drove his rickety Jeep off school property for the final time.

  Winston turned off the lights, locked the gates and headed home to catch some sleep. Another senior class had been put to bed, and he intended to sleep well, answers or no answers, even if Elvis had pulled another quick one over on him on the student’s final day at the school.

  Senior Prank/ Chapter Fourteen

  The notices came every possible way announcing the class reunion date of July 27: Twitter, Facebook, email, mail, text message and school website. It would be 10 years since the magic potion was used to create chaos in the school. The invitation indicated there would be a school tour at Noon and a dinner and dance at 6 p.m.

  The committee even hired a part-time event marketing person to assist with the reunion. The marketing person told them to expect between 150 and 200 of the 450 graduates to attend. She indicated that many don’t attend reunions because of a myriad of reasons – bad memories, distance, embarrassment (got fat, divorced, failed in business, etc.) or they just aren’t interested.

  When Elvis got his reunion notice he sent a text message to Jose and Lamont. He wanted to attend, but only if his two best friends from school would be there. Over the years, they have managed to stay in touch, although the frequency of their contacts lessened each year. They may talk on the phone twice a year, but through Facebook and texting they still kept up with each other.

  Elvis also remembered the deal he had make with Winston to tell him all he knew about what happened during the governor’s visit. Being a man of his word he emailed the event marketer reminding them to include the former principal.

  Winston had retired as he said he would. That fall the Winstons took off on that six month tour of the United States in their rented RV. They saw many of the American landmarks the two had always wanted to see. The pair went to sporting events in many cities across the nation. It was the trip of a lifetime. Winston even opened a Facebook page so he could show off his many photos of the trip.

  He came home, and, after being bored with retirement, took a part-time job with the local Home Depot. He finally retired for good five years later when some illness issues caused him to concentrate more on his health. When the marketer sent his invitation he accepted, adding to make sure that Elvis McGraw was coming.

  Elvis was now a world wide phenomenon. One year after graduation, the Texas Redneck Rockers were signed to a record deal with Blastoff Records, a new country label out of Nashville. Six months after signing, their first national CD came out. It sold 5 million copies. This success set up a concert tour and manic marketing machine the following year. Tom Borker guided the group’s efforts and the money poured in. Within two years, Elvis was a multi-millionaire, and unquestionably the group’s star.

  He moved from Houston to Nashville, buying a 150 acre estate 30 miles north of Nashville. His built his mother a small home on the site, and put her to work handling fan mail and his personal website. She had two hound dogs to keep her company.

  The money was great but the stardom meant Elvis had no private life. Borker emailed him with weekly schedules. It was one stop after another. He had to watch his exploits as he was constantly hounded by the press and paparazzi. If he went to a movie, he had to buy all the theater seats so he could watch the movie without interruption.

  If a girl breathed in his direction, she was linked romantically with him. Photos of him with women sold for thousands. He often wore disguises to avoid detection.

  He had met a female though that had captured his fancy. She was a secretary in the record label office. Sue was everything he wanted in a woman, but with all the travel and demands on his time, he didn’t think marriage would be fair to her. She moved onto the estate and kept working.

  Five years after the group signed their record deal, Elvis decided go solo. He had turned into an outstanding songwriter. One of his songs was Betcha Wonder. It was full of clues about who might have done one wrong. He wrote it with Winston in mind and set a copy of the CD and lyrics to Winston.

  Lamont had gone onto to riches, too. He didn’t get into a big name college out of high school so he went to a community college for two years. There he won the national 200 meter run, finished third in the 100, and was a part of the 4 X 100 relay team. He would attend the University of Texas for two years, and after that, became an even bigger track star. He would go onto the next two Olympic Games and win four gold and two bronze medals. He started a foundation to award scholarships to high school track stars.

  Over the years, Lamont had given himself the nickname, HD, standing for Hungry Dog. After he won the medals, Nike developed the LS HD Speed Merchant running shoe. The shoe had artwork on it featuring a bulldog and meatball on it. He also was a world spokesman for the Subway Restaurant chain, thanks in part to his affection for meatball subs. His brother, Marcus, managed his website, selling dolls, photos, shoes, posters and even managing Lamont’s appearances. Lamont had made it big, and too, was a millionaire. He had a girlfriend, but with his constant travel, marriage was out of the question. Lamont lived in Atlanta, a convenient location for his travel.

  Jose had married Missy three years after graduation and now had two children, Jose, Jr., 6, and Carlos, 4. Missy never did get acceptance from one of the state’s big schools and after two years at the local community college, she got her secretarial degree. Her mother pulled strings to get her a job as the principal’s secretary at a nearby elementary school, which she loved.

  Her husband was accepted in the bricklayer apprentice program, thanks to his minority status that allowed tax breaks for employers. He was a full-time bricklayer for a few years until fate smiled kindly on him. He was an excellent father to their children. One day five years after graduation, he phoned Elvis. As they talked, Jose told Elvis he was envious of Elvis for having it all. Jose saw life as a day to day struggle, although Missy’s love was still number one in his life. He told Elvis he missed the fun of school.

  “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Elvis told him about celebrity. “Sometimes I wish it was all simplier. It’s rush, rush, rush, do this, do that. Guess that’s the cost of success. Sometimes, I just like sitting around doing nothing.”

  However, three years later, Jose’s life changed radically. On a Friday evening he stopped at a convenience store to buy a six pack of beer. He set the beer on the counter, then realized he forgot something. As he turned around, a young lady was holding a soda can, ready to pay. He told
the clerk to ring her up, he’d be back. He had forgotten his son’s treat, a caramel-filled ice cream cone. The lady told the clerk to “give me a ticket for the Texas lottery and let the machine select the numbers.”

  As Jose returned with his cone, he told the clerk “that sounds like a good idea. Give me one of those lottery tickets, too, and let the machine select the numbers.” He won the lottery, thanks to forgetting the ice cream cone and losing his place in line. Missy and he won $10 million. They quit work and went into retirement, enjoying their children’s activities, travel and lots of free time.

  As the reunion date approached, Jose, Lamont and Elvis kept in touch. Elvis told them he could make the school tour, but not the dinner. He had a concert in Oklahoma City the night before and Dallas the night of the reunion. He could fly in for the school tour, but had to leave for his concert. Lamont had no meet that weekend so it was a chance to come back to visit family as well. Elvis also told them about his deal with Winston, and he’d have to reveal what he knew about all the mischief during the governor’s visit. He promised not to reveal the others were part of the plan.

  On reunion day, the alumni were instructed to go to the auditorium upon arrival. Jose and Missy arrived at 11:45 and mingled among the crowd of about 150 graduates. Lamont came strolling at 11:50 and was swamped with classmates wanting autographs and photographs. He patiently obliged the crowd and exchanged small talk with many of his former classmates.

  Lindsay Leeham, now married to a doctor, was working in marketing for a hospital. Melody Ryden, married to an attorney, was a school teacher. Hian Nyugen was a cancer researcher at Baylor University. Chris Torgon was a military instructor at Fort Drum, NY, after serving four tours of duty in the Middle East. Aaron Ryan, with a beautiful blonde on his arm, worked for Senator Alex Montoya.