For Love of a Dog

by Janice Carter

  “Maybe,” she said. “Thanks for having Thomas. He’s been looking forward to it.”

  “No problem. We’ll bring him back just before supper. Okay with you?”

  “Fine. Bye then.” She watched the car until it rounded the bend, delaying her return to the house as long as she could. Luca was cleaning up after the morning’s work and likely packing for his trip. Although he hadn’t spelled out his intentions—did he ever?—she’d wondered in the middle of her sleepless night if he was planning to leave for good. Everything was finished, even the shelter, basically. There was no reason for him to stay. They’d skirted around that likelihood with Thomas, but Kai had seen the turmoil in Luca’s eyes.

  Okay, Westfield, get this over with. She headed down the drive, reaching the house as Luca was stowing a duffel in his SUV, Amigo sitting by the open door as if waiting to be invited inside. Luca looked her way, his face drawn and pale.

  “All set?” she asked.

  “Think so.” He juggled his key fob in his right hand before leaning over to rub Amigo’s head.

  “Luca,” she blurted, “I’m sorry for the way I acted last night, after you told me you were leaving. I should have realized that attending the ceremony might be painful for you. I was just thinking about my own problems.”

  He frowned but didn’t say anything.

  “Making assumptions is a bad habit of mine,” she went on. “I’d thought you and Thomas would be there together. But of course, I didn’t run that by you.” She shrugged, embarrassed.

  His frown deepened. “Sorry, I didn’t think about Thomas. You’ll need someone to be with him while you’re working.”

  “Yeah, but I can ask the Pattersons. And my mother has a good friend in town, too. I have options.”

  “True, but...well...let’s talk about this. Got any coffee left?”

  She smiled. “I can always make more.”

  He closed the car door and, signaling Amigo to come, followed her into the kitchen. Kai bustled around making the coffee, nervous about a serious conversation but also relieved that he wanted to have it.

  The coffee was on the table before he was ready to talk. He added milk and sugar, toyed with the spoon for a bit and took a long sip. Kai tried to act as though she wasn’t in a hurry, taking her own time with her coffee while mentally urging him on.

  “When you first told me about your Memorial Day job,” he started, “I admit to being taken aback. I hadn’t quite realized it was coming up—the holiday, I mean. The end of May every year, right? More or less.” He set the spoon down and raised his head. “It’s just that I haven’t been around for very many Memorial Day weekends these past several years.”

  The image of what Luca had likely been doing during all those missed holiday weekends struck Kai. She was beginning to wish she could replay yesterday, take it all back and never mention Memorial Day at all. “As I said, I was only thinking of myself. You don’t have to—”

  “Talk about it? Yes, actually, I do. It’s time that I did, instead of another—”

  “Petty misunderstanding?”

  He managed a half smile. “Yeah. Good one. The thing is, I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling about the day or why. I know that part of me wants to act like it’s just a regular day, but deep inside, I also want to get out there and salute my comrades—all of them. The living and the fallen. The ones back home and those still fighting.” He shook his head, lost in thought for a long moment. “I think what I’m really feeling—and I hate to admit this—is shame. And guilt. I don’t feel I deserve to stand up at the monument in front of all those names on hundreds of granite bricks. I let my men down—Lopez, all of them. Turned my head. One quick, deadly second.” His eyes flicked away from hers.

  Silence filled the room as she struggled to find the right words to let him know she understood but also that he was so very wrong about not having the right to be at the ceremony. “Luca, everyone who serves our country sacrifices something, and whether that sacrifice is small or big doesn’t matter. I believe that.” She reached across the table, setting her hand on top of his.

  He looked up, his eyes damp and face flushed.

  “You did nothing wrong or shameful. A second’s turning of a head doesn’t negate all your years of leading and serving.” She stopped to wait for the lump in her throat to disappear. “And it’s a good time to see the Lopez family. They’ll be thinking of him.”

  He glanced away, nodding slowly. After a few minutes he said, “Still, it’s not right for me to just take off without a proper goodbye to Thomas. I’d like to keep him company while you’re covering the ceremony.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to.”

  She took a deep breath. “Okay, then. So I guess this means I’m excused from finishing the paint job on the shelter.”

  His laugh was shaky but welcome to her ears. He turned over his palm to clasp her whole hand in his, squeezing gently. “Thanks for this,” he whispered. “It feels good to have said all that.”

  “And it feels good to listen to you,” Kai said, her voice breaking. “Why haven’t we talked like this before? We could have saved ourselves so much—”

  “Grief?”

  She gave a shaky laugh, pressing her hand against his. “I was going to say time. We could have used these past few days better if we’d...you know...been more open with each other about how we felt.”

  “I think maybe we weren’t trusting ourselves enough. Or trusting our feelings. Talking about myself has never been easy for me. Not as a child and especially not as an adult. And it’s taken me this long to figure out exactly what I am feeling. I guess I couldn’t believe all this was possible so quickly. I mean, we’ve only known each other a short time. Weeks!”

  “Maybe that’s all it takes,” Kai murmured. “I think I’ve been running away from any kind of personal, intimate relationship for a long time.” She breathed deep, stifling the flood of emotion. “It was always so much easier for me to avoid certain situations than to deal with them. But I don’t want to be like that with you.”

  He ran his fingers across her palm. “And I want to take this chance, Kai, to have something special—and permanent—with you. Can we continue this talk when I come back from New Jersey?”

  “Yes, oh yes. Please,” was all she managed to get out.

  His hand was big and warm around hers. Kai could have sat there all day, looking into his eyes, lifted by the swell of hope in her heart. But finally she said, “I should get to work. I’d planned one last visit to the monument while Thomas was with Robyn.” She slowly pulled her hand out of his grasp. “Thomas will be happy to see you’re still here when he comes home.”

  “It’s better this way. I can leave later in the day.”

  They both stood, and as Kai turned to take her coffee mug to the sink, he placed his hand on her upper arm. “It’s not just the talking I’m grateful for, it’s also what you said. It means a lot to me.” He paused. “It means everything.”

  His eyes held hers and he leaned forward as if to kiss her, but stopped halfway, pulling his hand away from her arm.

  She was disappointed. A kiss would have been the perfect cap to the last few minutes.

  “Guess I should get back to the painting before I get totally distracted.” There was a hint of regret in his grin that made up for Kai’s letdown. “I want to surprise Thomas when he returns.”

  Okay, Kai thought. Back to business. But she didn’t really mind. The day would unfold as planned, only now she had something wonderful to think about while she worked.

  “When you’re finished, help yourself to a cold beer. And would you mind staying with Thomas if he gets back before I do? They said late afternoon.”

  “My pleasure.” He grinned again and headed out the screen door.

 
Kai brought her hand up to where his had rested on her arm, feeling its lingering warmth. Something had happened in that split second when he was about to kiss her. His intense expression and the flash of longing in his eyes sealed the promise they’d just made.

  As she watched him walking up the road, Amigo at his heels, she considered where the conversation about life after the farm might lead them. That exhilarating thought rolled over and over in her mind as she ran upstairs to collect what she needed for her trip into town.

  * * *

  LUCA HELD ON TO Amigo’s collar as Kai braked at the junction of highway and drive. “Thanks again, Luca,” she said through her open window. “It should only take me a couple of hours, maybe less. I thought I’d bring back some takeout for supper if you’d like to join us.”

  “I would, thank you, and don’t worry about Thomas. Want me to text you when he’s back?”

  “If you can. He’s having lunch there but may want a snack to tide him over till supper, if I’m a bit late.”

  “I’m sure Amigo and I will take good care of him.”

  “I never thought about these things before I came home to look after him.” She sighed.

  “A new life experience for you?”

  She stared at him before breaking into a grin. “No kidding.” She waved goodbye and turned onto the road into Lima.

  Luca released Amigo, who bounded into the ditch behind the shelter. He wondered how she felt about getting back to her old life and picking up her career again. That was one of many topics they’d have to discuss when he came back from New Jersey.

  In a way, he envied her for having a former life to return to, whereas he had to forge a new one. Not that he minded. He’d been lucky in Afghanistan, given a second chance at life and the opportunity to choose a new one. Not everyone got that. Lopez drifted into his mind, and his gaze instinctively went to Amigo, now in the ditch on the other side of the drive.

  He inhaled, scattering the memory, and breathing in the dry, toasty scents of a sultry afternoon in the country. It was so quiet he could almost hear his own heartbeat. Then he bent to jimmy open the paint can. He’d leave some trim for Thomas to finish up.

  The work was exactly what he needed, demanding his complete attention, except for an occasional glance for Amigo, now lying beneath one of the trees lining the drive. Luca had no idea what time Thomas arrived home.

  Amigo heard the car before it appeared, rousing from his nap to bark a warning. Luca whistled him over and grabbed his collar as the Pattersons’ station wagon rounded the bend.

  He saw the surprise in Thomas’s face when he got out. After thanking Mike and waving goodbye, Luca explained, “I decided to put off my trip until later tomorrow. Maybe you and I can hang out while Kai’s in town. I think she told you about her Memorial Day assignment?”

  Thomas nodded.

  “Anyway, you’re here just in time. I’m ready for a break, and there’s still some trim left to do.” He pointed to the window and door frames. “Mind taking over while I go get some water for Amigo?”

  Another nod as Thomas dropped his backpack. In spite of his low-key reaction, Luca caught the slight smile as the boy picked up his paintbrush. Luca signaled Amigo and jogged down the drive to the farmhouse, the dog racing ahead.

  Luca realized that the sit-down with Thomas should happen after his talk with Kai. First things first, he told himself. That thought amused him. He’d never needed reminders about organization in his old life. Nowadays his mind was constantly jumping all over the place.

  Thomas was well into the job when Luca returned with bottles of water. He looked up and grinned, pointing to the parts he’d finished.

  “Good job. When you’re done and after we’ve cleaned up, maybe we can take Amigo for a walk. I haven’t had a chance to explore that stretch of woods off the highway down there.” He gestured in the direction away from the Lewis farmstead.

  Thomas simply took a long swig of water and got back to work. Luca and Amigo headed for the patch of shade nearby and together dropped onto the tall grass. Luca drank some water and offered more to Amigo. The dog had learned to drink from Luca’s palm when they’d first met, and his tongue tickled as he lapped up the puddle of water Luca held. When he finished, he stretched out and rested his head on his forepaws. Luca watched Thomas paint, then lay back, folding his arms beneath his head, and stared into the branches of the maple tree. His mind emptied, and he felt his body easing into the dry grass, Amigo’s gentle snores and the swish of Thomas’s paintbrush lulling him to sleep.

  * * *

  KAI PEERED THROUGH the windshield, unsure exactly what she was seeing. Figures sprawled under the first tree in from the highway, beyond the ditch backing the shelter. She tapped the brake and coasted into the turn off the highway, getting close enough to recognize Luca, Thomas and Amigo. All three apparently asleep. She wished her camera was on the passenger seat instead of in its case behind her, on the rear bench. But she shifted into Park, touched by the intimacy of the sight. Heads leaning against one another and shoulders slumped together. Amigo, lying with his head on Luca’s legs, was the first to notice her and his bark shook the other two awake.

  Kai smiled at their confused expressions. “Working hard, I see,” she called out.

  Luca got up and sauntered over to the truck, rubbing his face, his own smile sheepish. “Caught in the act. Though it was a well-deserved rest, wasn’t it, Tommy?” He looked behind him to Thomas, who was slowly heading their way.

  “Well, hop in. I’ll give all of you sleepyheads a ride down to the house.” Thomas and Amigo climbed into the rear cab while Luca stowed the paintbrushes and cans in the truck bed.

  “The shelter looks good. I assume your afternoon was productive.”

  “Yep. Thomas finished up for me when he got back. I was supervising when—”

  “You were struck down.”

  Luca laughed. “You said it. That’s exactly what happened.”

  “While Thomas was putting the finishing touches on?”

  “Uh, I’m sure I wasn’t sleeping for long when he came over to join Amigo and me. It was just a few seconds later, wasn’t it, Thomas?” He glanced back to where Thomas sat, grinning. “Come on, bud, give me a break here.”

  Kai saw Thomas nodding vigorously in the rearview mirror. “Guess you’re off the hook then.”

  “It was the heat,” Luca protested. “And how about your afternoon? Get done what you wanted to?”

  “I did. Some people were starting to set things up so that helped me figure out the best places to shoot from.”

  “Great.”

  Kai looked in the rearview again. “Thomas, keep an eye on Amigo. There’s fried chicken and potato salad in those bags.”

  On cue, Amigo let out a half-groan, half-whine that got them all—including Thomas—laughing.

  She was still reveling in that spectacular sound when she pulled up to the garage. The day had obviously been as magical for Thomas as it had for her. And she still had a last evening with Luca before he left. Life was good.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  LUCA GOT UP earlier than usual after his promise last night to make breakfast while Kai organized for the ceremony. She’d insisted she’d be up anyway, as she wanted to get to the site at least an hour before starting time, but Luca had pancakes and bacon on the go when Thomas wandered into the kitchen followed by Amigo, who charged out the screen door Luca held open for him. Thomas was waiting for his second pancake when Kai bustled into the kitchen, blouse buttoned askew and strands of hair dangling from what looked like a ponytail. Luca couldn’t be sure.

  Pausing only long enough to eat two pieces of bacon and a slice of cold toast while standing, she leaned over the sink to dampen a comb that she tugged through her now-loosened and resisting hair. Luca and Thomas watched her from their c
hairs. It was better than television, Luca thought, as she flitted about, checking a small notebook, rummaging through her shoulder bag and finally downing the lukewarm glass of orange juice Luca had set at her place an hour ago.

  “Okay,” she announced, tucking the tails of her sleeveless blouse into her pants, “how do I look?”

  Thomas’s giggle interrupted what Luca had been about to blurt—beautiful!

  “I’m not usually this—”

  “Flustered?”

  She frowned. “I was going to say—”

  “Discombobulated?”

  Thomas giggled louder. Luca grinned.

  “Is that even a word?”

  “Think so.”

  She shrugged. “Well, as I was trying to say—it’s been a while.” She pushed her water bottle into her bag and slung it over a shoulder. Then she sighed. “I don’t know how working mothers do it.”

  “I made breakfast,” he pointed out.

  “Right, and thanks for that, Luca. And for...you know...” Her eyes went from his to Thomas’s. She pursed her lips. “So, what do you two have planned for the morning?”

  Luca caught the change in tone. “After we clean up here, maybe the walk we didn’t get yesterday. What do you think, Thomas?”

  He merely shrugged, but his eyes were intense. Luca guessed he was wondering if they were going to the ceremony. The subject hadn’t come up at supper last night, and Luca hadn’t wanted to broach it, given his own ambivalence about the day.

  “Well, I’m off then.” She walked over to Thomas and kissed him on the forehead. Luca stood and helped Kai carry her stuff out to the pickup. Not that she couldn’t manage on her own, but it gave him a chance to be alone with her for a few minutes while Thomas finished his breakfast.

  Luca lingered a moment at the driver’s door. “Take your time,” he said. “I’m not in a hurry. To head for home—and the Lopezes.”

  She seemed lost in thought, leaning against the seat. Finally, she said, “Listen, are you sure about hanging around? I can always take him with me. We’ll likely meet up with the Pattersons there anyway.”