by Rae, Alicia
We said our good-byes, and I exited the session. I lowered the top of my laptop to close it, and then I set it off to the side of the couch. I immediately turned to snuggle into Kyle’s chest. I felt a little better after talking with Jeanine. It had felt good to vent, and our conversations seemed to help me let go of my negative feelings. I liked that Jeanine had not tried to push too hard either. I was okay with steps, and so was she.
My phone beeped, and I saw a text from Brooke.
Hey, lady, check your email! Need you to review some excerpts from your last book for marketing and return some other quick paperwork. Also, send me a few teasers from the book you’re working on now. ;) Hope your visit is going well. *hugs*
I sent a quick text back.
Okay, I’ll get on it soon. Visit is so-so. I’ll tell you more later. Miss you!
She replied immediately.
Miss you, too! And stay strong! Call me if you need to talk. *bigger hugs*
I shut my phone and cuddled back into Kyle’s arms. He brought me closer against his body and kissed my forehead.
“Hey, you. How are you doing?” he asked.
I took a deep breath, taking in his scent that I loved so much. Just the smell of him could calm my raging nerves. “I’m alright. I’m trying to process all my thoughts that are running wild in my mind.”
Kyle was quiet for a few minutes. Breaking the silence, he finally asked in a low tone, “Who was the other driver, Lily?”
I stared blankly at him for a moment. His direct question caught me off guard. I should have known he’d still want to talk about it even though he’d heard my explanation to Jeanine.
“It was Ted’s brother, Peter,” I whispered.
Kyle’s eyes widened. “Your parents’ close friend, Ted?”
I looked down at my hands as I folded them in my lap. “Yes.”
“Wow,” Kyle breathed, stunned.
I glanced back up at him. “Yes, I was shocked, too. Living in a small town made it even worse. Ted, Jane, A.J., and Meg were really kind and sincere about it, but it was still awkward afterward. We were all grieving. Everyone in my family along with Ted and Jane wondered how I’d survived…when everyone else had died on impact. I suffered through many injuries, but I still survived.”
Kyle kept his eyes on mine. He patiently waited for me to elaborate as he held my hands in his, caressing them reassuringly.
“Peter had left a local bar, and he was on his way home. His blood alcohol level was well over the limit. He fell asleep behind the wheel and then crossed over the median into our lane. Time was against me,” I said quietly. “There just wasn’t enough time to react. I couldn’t avoid hitting him.”
“I’m so sorry, Lily,” Kyle said in a soothing tone.
“During the following days, everyone wanted to comfort me. I felt like I couldn’t mourn. I had so many people surrounding me when I just wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want to smile or be polite. I wanted to kick and scream and cry because the people I wanted the most weren’t here anymore.”
The room filled with silence as heartache radiated throughout every part of my heart and soul. My hands trembled in between Kyle’s as I leaned into him. This was the very thing I’d desperately wanted to avoid. Talking about specific details wasn’t making it any better. It was just putting it all in the forefront of my mind, crushing me all over again, and my heart couldn’t take it anymore.
“I want to go home,” I stated, just above a whisper.
Kyle eyed me thoughtfully. “What about the rest of the things to do here? I thought you wanted to finish,” he said gently.
I huffed, exasperated. “I know. I have one more room to sort through, and then I need to talk to Aunt Lucie. After that, we’re leaving.” I was not sure how much more I could handle.
He kissed my cheek. “Whatever you want, Lily. Just say the word, and we’re gone. We can always come back when you’re ready. No one said you had to sort it all out in one week.”
“I know.” I sighed. “But I want it to be done. I can’t move on with my life with all these gray areas.” I leaned up and kissed him on the lips. “But I have to go review some things for Brooke now and then email her back. I might be a few hours.”
“Okay, I’ll come and get you when it’s time for dinner. I have some work to do myself.”
“Sounds good.” I looked up at him and smiled. “And thank you.” I gave him another kiss on his lips, lingering for a moment, before I stood. “See you in a bit.”
I grabbed my laptop and went up to my bedroom to catch up on my emails. It was a bit surreal to be working in my old bedroom, but I quickly got into my groove. Brooke had sent me an email to verify my deadline for the second novel, and I replied with my updated time frame. I was very confident I would be done on time if not sooner.
I wrote out a synopsis with plots and character development to give them an overview of the book. I was not one hundred percent positive on the outcome, but at this point, I was pretty sure of the direction I was leaning toward. But a writer’s mind could change at any moment. Until it was on paper, nothing was definite.
Choosing teasers from a book was always difficult for me. I wanted to give readers awesome parts to draw their attention, but I did not want to give away too much and spoil the surprise. I would usually pick out too many scenes, and Brooke would have to rein me in.
I chuckled, thinking of some of our previous conversations about teasers. After reviewing what I suggested, she would huff about it, telling me I needed more, less, or something different altogether. I laughed out loud as I chose one of my steamy sex scenes to send to her, just to rile her up a bit with my newly discovered, unfiltered side that seemed to shine on paper.
My mood lightened tremendously as I lost myself in my work for a few hours. I reread my novel to check for errors or inconsistencies. It was a good breather from the reality of my life over the past several days. I loved revisiting my stories. My characters seemed so realistic to me. With a joke here or a phrase there, it was odd how I could see a part of myself in my work. It was probably because I would spend hours upon hours letting them flow freely in my mind.
I jotted down a couple of notes in my massive notebook that was full of storylines or dialogue, including names and info about my characters. It was how I kept it all straight in my head. To others, it probably looked like a train wreck, but to me, it was organized as it should be.
I was just about to send off my last email when Kyle knocked softly on the door. I turned to see him leaning on the door frame.
“I was checking to see if you were done yet,” he said.
“I am sending my last email, and then I’m finished.” I saved my document and attached it to the email. After sending it, I shut down my laptop.
I walked over to Kyle and stopped in front of him. “After we eat, I thought I would work on Annie’s room,” I said quietly, trying to hide the dread I was feeling. I wanted to avoid that last bedroom, but I knew I could not run from it.
Kyle shook his head. “Not today, Lily,” he said softly.
I wanted to agree with him, but I knew I needed to complete the last bedroom. “I want to finish. I need this to be done and over with.” My voice wavered.
“Tomorrow.” His tone was final. Kyle extended his arm, and his thumb gently gripped my chin and tipped my head up until our eyes met. “I can’t stand the sadness in your eyes anymore today, Lily. I need it to just be me and you, and so do you,” he said.
“Okay,” I surrendered. I was too drained to put up a fight anyway. Maybe he’s right after all.
“Thank you.” He seemed relieved. He grazed my cheeks with his knuckles before kissing me tenderly. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
He twined my hand with his and led me down the stairs. We walked into the kitchen, and I noticed there was no food out.
“I thought we were eating?” I asked, confused.
“We are,” he replied nonchalantly.
“We are
n’t eating here?” My voice was skeptical. The sun was beginning to set. I was tired, and I was ready for my PJs. Not to mention, I was a mess and too emotionally drained to go out in public.
“We are going on a date.”
“A date?” I screeched. “But I’m a mess. I’m not even dressed for a date.”
He grinned at me before turning around and rummaging in a backpack that I hadn’t even noticed was on the counter. He pulled out a hoodie that matched the Army shirt he had on. “Here. You’ll need this. And you look beautiful the way you are.”
He put the hoodie over my head and tucked my arms into the sleeves. I could not stifle my laugh as he dressed me.
He took a small step back, and his eyes roamed up and down my body, glazing over. “Fuck.”
I gave him a questioning look. “What?” I asked nervously.
“You look fucking hot in my clothes, especially my hoodie.” He shook his head. “It’s distracting.”
I snorted. Now you know how I feel every day. His whole body had a way of sidetracking me anytime he was in close proximity to me.
When he pulled out another hoodie and tugged it over his head, it was my turn to gape at him. Damn! He looks hot even in a hoodie! It should be a sin to look like that.
The black hoodie contrasted against Kyle’s skin tone perfectly. His hair was still tousled from lying in my bed earlier. I wanted to reach up and run my fingers through it. My eyes dropped to his unshaven face, and desire bloomed within me. I yearned to feel him beneath my hands.
“We aren’t going to make it out of this kitchen if you keep looking at me like that,” Kyle threatened. His serious tone was alluring.
An image of launching myself at him crossed my mind. I swallowed hard. “Like what?” I asked innocently.
He pinned me with his eyes. “You know what…like I’m eye candy.”
“You already know you are my eye candy,” I teased. “It’s distracting,” I repeated his words.
He chuckled, shook his head, and grabbed another item out of his bag. I recognized the purple ribbon immediately. It had been hanging from the mirror in my bedroom for as long as I could remember.
“I needed a blindfold,” he answered my unspoken question as he stepped forward to wrap it around my eyes. Leaning in, he whispered in my ear, “Your date is a surprise.”
My heartbeat increased in anticipation. He took my hand in his, and we walked a short distance. When I heard a door open, I assumed it was the back door. Hmm, why the back door?
Without a sound, he silently led me down a few steps, and then I felt the grass beneath my feet. I knew from the direction we had turned that we were in the backyard.
I could hear soft music and the faint sounds of fire crackling. I walked on the familiar stepping-stones as Kyle guided me. As we continued moving farther, I could smell burning wood.
He moved behind me and took off the blindfold. I gasped when I saw the setting before me. The fire pit was indeed burning wood, and hot dogs and buns were sitting on a stool adjacent to it. Next to the hot dogs on another stool, I recognized my old boom box from my bedroom. Small candles were lit inside glass jars arranged in a circle around the fire pit and hammock. Blankets and pillows were spread out across the grass near the fire pit. I did a double take when I saw the gray crocheted one.
Butterflies danced in my stomach as I took in this sweet romantic date that Kyle had planned for me. I turned to meet his stare. His warm eyes searched the depths of mine as he waited for me to speak.
“How did you do all of this? When?” I whispered.
He gave me a shy, knowing smile. “Damon helped with the food and candles. I came outside when you were working. I wasn’t sure if you would see me or not, but I was hoping that you were working hard.” He grinned in his mischievous way.
“I was.”
His eyes drew me in deeper.
“I wanted to take you on a date…to make you smile. You’ve had so much sadness in your eyes since we’ve been here, but I know that this is something you need to do in order to put the past behind you.” He paused, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. “I know you’re stressed, so I wanted to take you away from all of that and give you something positive to look forward to.” He placed my hand over his heart. “This, Lily…us. We have our whole lives ahead of us.”
My chest tightened, taking in his expression and his words. They were filled with such love and adoration. The way he always spoke about the future, his feelings for me, and his desire to protect and care for me was all profoundly precious. Knowing that I was truly loved by someone made my heart overflow with awe, adoration, and love for him. He simply took my breath away.
When I smiled up at him, he ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “There is that beautiful smile that I would do anything to see,” he breathed.
Before I could gather a coherent response, his mouth covered mine. Kyle’s hands came to the sides of my face as he deepened the kiss. I moaned into his mouth when his tongue leisurely massaged mine.
He pulled back abruptly. “No more of that. This is a date.” He stepped back and gave me a salacious grin.
“It’s lovely, Kyle. Thank you.” I looked around again, taking it all in.
“You’re very welcome.” He walked over to the stool and grabbed the hot dogs.
“Hot dogs?” I teased.
“Hey!” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “I had limited resources since it was a spur-of-the-moment plan.”
I laughed. “You definitely surprised me.”
Lying down on a blanket, I sprawled out on my stomach and propped myself up on my elbows, leaning my head on my hand. It felt great to lie down and relax.
I watched as he prepared all the food. He definitely knew his way around a fire. I was beginning to think that there wasn’t much Kyle couldn’t do. He was just one of those people who was good at everything, even when he stepped outside of the box. I was one of those people who liked to stay inside the box—or as I referred to it, my bubble. It was safe and familiar and predictable.
“It there anything you can’t do?” I asked.
He came to sit next to me. He bent his legs in front of him and rested his arms on his knees. “What do you mean by that exactly?”
“Well, you are kind, compassionate, and romantic while also strong and protective, and you can cook meals. I’m just wondering when you are going to bust out the flaws,” I said lightheartedly.
“Only with you,” he said, playfully nudging me. “And I have plenty of flaws, Lily.” A handsome grin spread across his face.
“Like what?”
“For starters, I definitely can’t cook, except hot dogs and sandwiches. Oh, and I can make a mean omelet.”
“And?”
“And you already know I’m stubborn,” he added good-humoredly.
“Yep, I picked up on that one quickly.” I laughed.
“It’s another Madison family trait.” Kyle chuckled. “I was doomed from birth.” He stood and went back to the fire pit to turn the hot dogs.
“I’ll have to remember that,” I replied.
Kyle knelt down and stared into the fire before turning to look at me. “Did you work on your novel today or just respond to emails?”
“I wrote my synopsis for my current novel, took a few notes on little things here and there, and reread some parts of my story to choose a few teasers.”
Kyle raised his eyebrows in question. “Teasers?”
I chuckled. “A teaser is a short excerpt of the novel to give the readers a taste of the book. It’s kind of like a preview for a new movie coming to theaters.”
Kyle nodded in understanding. “Is it easy to summarize your stories?”
Feeling a cool breeze, I covered my legs with a blanket. “I’m not sure how it is for other writers, but for me, it’s very hard.”
Kyle watched me with genuine interest, so I continued to elaborate.
“I see so much more in my mind than what I put on paper. I always write
more than I’m supposed to. Even when I was younger, I was good at long essays, but short summaries, not so much.”
“That makes sense,” he said. “You write the story from the vision you create in your mind while others read only what is written before them.”
“Exactly.” I smiled. I loved that he understood such an important part of me. “I have a vision and write the words, and the readers create their own visualization from my words. It’s the best feeling in the world when I follow up with readers and hear their visions of my story and characters.”
“What is your favorite book?” Kyle questioned.
“The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.” I could tell from the expression on his face that he had never watched the movie, let alone read the book, and it made me chuckle. We can fix that. “It was made into a movie. I have the DVD at home. We can watch it together.” I gave him a reassuring smile, fighting to keep a straight face at his blank stare. “And snuggle.”
Kyle’s smoldering eyes reflected the glow of the fire. “Do I get to steal some bases?”
My gaze locked onto his heated stare, and I was momentarily hypnotized. I inhaled a shaky deep breath. Damn, he’s sexy when he looks at me like that. “Of course,” I breathed. I shifted my attention to the hot dogs. “Are they ready yet? Or are you burning them?”
“Almost done.”
Kyle rotated the hot dogs once more and then opened the package of buns. He pulled out the buns, separated them, lightly buttered each side, and placed them facedown on the grill.
“What are you doing?”
Kyle sat back. “It’s a trick my dad taught me.”
I eyed him warily.
He shook his head and laughed. “Just wait and you’ll see.”
“So, yesterday, you talked a lot with Jason about building again. Do you think you’ll do that soon?” I asked.
He lifted a bag from behind a stool. “I would like to. I have thought about it more and more lately.” From the bag, he pulled out paper plates, disposable plasticware, and napkins.
“What’s holding you back?”
“Nothing really.” He shrugged. “I just have to get all my ducks in a row, so to speak. I recently purchased a lot of properties. I have to see them through before I invest in anything else. Then, I plan to take the time to pick out where I want to build. I must be able to commit to staying in one location for a long period of time.”