by Rae, Alicia
“I always admired your friendship with him. You were able to see the fun, loving side of Luke that we had chased away.” He turned to face me. “You brought happiness into his life. You saved him.”
I knew that coming close to losing a loved one made people see a whole new perspective, but this stunned me. His parents had never approved of our friendship. They had taken one look at my lack of guidance and figured I would never be successful because I had no one telling me how to live my life and make the correct choices.
Luke’s parents assumed I had been behind his decisions to officially turn down his father’s requests to take over the family business and to instead apply to medical school. At first, they had thought he would never get in, and he would come running home eventually. When he received his acceptance letter, they had blamed me, claiming that I was making him act childish and irrational. They had lectured him about being more grounded and levelheaded.
I sat there, completely speechless, until I was able to make my brain function again.
“You know, Luke saved me, too,” I admitted quietly to Jim.
“I thought so. You seemed like you came from a bad place, and we figured you were up to no good.”
I ignored his soft-spoken insult. Kyle’s head turned our direction, but I waved him off. I was used to Jim’s degrading comments even though this was not one of those times he meant it. He was hurting, so I was trying to be the better person by overlooking his implication.
I wasn’t sure why I wanted to explain myself, but I felt right now could make a difference. “My parents and sister died in a car accident three years ago,” I said, trying to keep my emotions in check.
Jim’s eyes widened in astonishment, but I continued, finding the strength somewhere deep within myself.
“I was alone and in complete and utter misery. I couldn’t bear to be around everyone in my hometown, so I moved to Florida. Luke was the first person I met. He accepted me with open arms and without any judgment. He knew I was grieving, but he never pushed me to talk more than I was willing. He helped me get back on my feet, and he became a dear friend of mine. Luke saved me with his unconditional friendship.”
Jim pondered a moment. He seemed lost in thought as he processed my words. I had opened myself up to tell my story to a near stranger and half-enemy. The vulnerability made me feel a little sick. However, having Kyle by my side made it much less scary. As always, he gave me strength, and I wanted to pass that strength along to Jim in his time of need.
Jim looked up into my eyes. His expression displayed a great amount of remorse. “I’m so sorry, Lily.” He reached out and gently put his hand on top of mine. “I never knew that.” He shook his head. “Luke never told us. I have misjudged you and treated you harshly. I’m very sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Luke doesn’t know,” I confessed to Jim. “I presume he has put some of the pieces together but not all of them. I’m not sure why I never told him. Until recently, I believed that if I closed myself off from the pain, I could focus more on surviving each day. I’m still working on it, but I have faith that I can heal and move on.” I paused, contemplating his question. “As for forgiveness, I promise to forgive you…if in return, you forgive yourself for your relationship with Luke. You need to be honest with him. Just move forward and start fresh.”
Jim dropped his head in defeat. “I’m not sure if Luke will ever forgive me…or if he’ll want a relationship with me again for that matter. I did him wrong, Lily,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t think he’ll ever forget that.”
“That’s Luke’s decision, not yours, Jim. Give him the choice and the chance to decide. He needs you more than you know. Your strained relationship impacts him a great deal,” I said truthfully.
“Your wisdom is beyond your years, dear. I’m very glad Luke has found such a great friend.”
I smiled fondly, thinking about my dear friend, who was fighting for his life. “I don’t know about that, but I do know that I am forever grateful for your son’s friendship.”
Just then, Caroline walked out of Luke’s room. She had dark circles around her eyes, and the sadness in them matched Jim’s. The nurse came out of the room behind her and then headed off toward the nurses’ station.
“The nurse said his vitals look good but no major improvements,” Caroline said in a small voice. She took a seat next to her husband.
They both were wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and they looked worn-down. I tried to think of something to say to lift their spirits. I wanted to help in any way I could.
“Why don’t you two go home, get some rest, eat, and come back later? Kyle and I will stay here for the afternoon. That way Luke won’t be alone.”
“I guess we could do that. Some sleep and food does sound nice.” Caroline smiled kindly at me. “Luke will be so happy that you came, Lily. I know that you are very dear to him. Will you call us if anything changes?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
Jim and Caroline each hugged me tightly as if I were a lifeline, and I hugged them back, praying I was strong enough for us all. Before they left, they also thanked Kyle for his support.
Kyle and I took our seats again.
Turning to me, Kyle’s face displayed a deep sense of pride. “What you just did, Lily, was amazing,” he said in awe. He kissed my forehead and then my lips.
“I wanted to help. They looked so tired and wretched. It was breaking my heart.”
“Not that.” He shook his head. “Well, that, too, but what I meant was your conversation with Jim. You gave him hope for fixing his relationship with his son. You made a difference, and he’ll be a changed man for it. What you said also gave me a better understanding of your friendship with Luke.”
“I hope so.”
“I’m so damn proud of you right now. I want to find a storage room and show you just how much.”
I blinked in complete surprise and then laughed. “Well now…I’m glad to see I turn you on.” I grinned. “But in all fairness, hot stuff, I believe you left me hanging this morning,” I teased.
“Hot stuff?” Kyle questioned, raising an eyebrow.
I grinned. “Very hot.”
“I like to make you hot.” Kyle grinned, his tone deep and hoarse. “Later tonight, I’ll have to make up for leaving you high and dry,” he promised.
“I look forward to it.”
He kissed my cheek and draped his arm around my shoulders. “And where do you come up with this stuff?” he asked in wonder.
“Come up with what?” I asked, leaning my head back against his arm for support.
“Hot stuff? Sexy alpha?” He chortled quietly, bending over to kiss my cheek.
I felt his breath on my skin.
“I think you even called me mountain man?”
“I believe I said mountain boy.” I grinned slightly, angling my head in his direction. “But you changed it to mountain army man,” I corrected.
“Damn right I did.” Kyle snorted. “A guy’s nickname has to be manly.”
“Okay.” I let out a small laugh. “I’ll give you that one.” I dropped my head to nuzzle into his shoulder, feeling extremely thankful to have him by my side.
***
The afternoon had passed by impossibly slow. Nurses had come and gone. Even the doctors stopped in to check on Luke’s progress.
I had went into Luke’s room several times. I’d texted Caroline with updates even though there was no new news to report. It felt like we were at a standstill. The nurses had told us that no change was still better than bad change, so we were trying to stay in good spirits.
Kyle’s demeanor had been just a bit off today at certain times. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something was different. I had asked him twice if he was okay, and each time, he had taken my hand in his as he’d reassured me that everything was fine. But I could feel extra tension radiating off of him.
I vaguely remembered seeing this side of him yesterday. I had a
ssumed it was his jealousy of Luke. My emotions had been strung too tight to ask him if anything else was wrong.
I vowed to get to the bottom of it when we were back at the hotel. I gave him the we-will-talk-about-this-later stare as I decided to let it go for now. His only response was an eye roll followed by a playful wink. He was clearly not intimidated by me. We’ll see.
Kyle left my side only to get us food. His support meant the world to me. I felt selfish for taking him away from his life, but I could not imagine going through this alone. I wondered how much he was giving up to be here, and I truly hoped that Abbey was able to hold down the fort while he was missing. I would feel terrible if his business was suffering because of me. I thought about if that could be the reason for his mood change today.
I kept trying to figure out what was different with him, but I continued to come back empty-handed. He just seemed…detached or lost in thought. I felt frustrated and hurt because he was keeping something from me.
Restlessly, I tossed and turned in the chairs. I leaned my head against Kyle’s shoulder. I pivoted, so my head rested on the arm of the chair, and my legs were over his. At one point, I seriously contemplated lying on the floor, so I could stretch out, but I ignored the impulse.
I pulled out my cell phone to text Brooke and let her know what was going on with Luke. She had hung out with us many times, and she’d formed her own friendship with him.
Hey, Brooke. No changes with Luke yet. We are still waiting for him to wake up.
She texted back right away.
He’s still not conscious! :/ I am coming to visit tomorrow, so I can see him and take you out for a bit.
I wasn’t really in the mood to go out and about.
I’m okay. I will be happy to see you and for you to see Luke.
She replied quickly.
The first sign you need girl time is when you say, “I’m okay.” Now, you can meet me at the mall, or I will hunt you down.
I rolled my eyes at her bossiness. Brooke and Kyle were two peas in a pod. Before I could respond to her last text, my phone chimed with another text from Brooke.
You need this. No buts about it.
Kyle glanced between my cell phone and me, raising his eyebrow. “Girl trouble?” he asked casually.
“She wants to have girl time tomorrow,” I said, shaking my head. “It doesn’t feel right to go off and have lunch with a friend while Luke is fighting for his life in there.” I lifted my head in the direction of Luke’s room before looking back at Kyle.
“That’s sensible.” Kyle reached for my hand, taking it in the palm of his. “But sometimes, you can’t help others until you clear your own mind. You need time to be yourself, too, Lily.”
He sounded just like Brooke. They were both quite stubborn and outspoken…but also very sincere and thoughtful.
“Okay. I’ll spend some time with Brooke before we come back to the hospital.”
I sent Brooke a new message.
Girl time first and then back to the hospital. See you tomorrow.
I smiled when I read her next message.
See you then! *hugs*
Since Kyle had suggested that I needed some time to be myself, it occurred to me that this was the longest I’d gone without typing a single word in my novel. I truly missed writing and would have to get back to work soon. This past week had been such a roller coaster. I looked forward to returning to my regular day-to-day life.
I wished I had finished Annie’s room before I left. Leaving something undone was unsettling. I needed closure, but at the same time, I needed this distance.
Jim and Caroline came back to the hospital after dinner, and they thanked us both for staying with their son. Their gratitude was worth being here. Nothing should be more important than a friend in need.
***
I couldn’t take any more hospital food, so Kyle and I decided to get some fresh air and go out to dinner.
Glancing at Kyle, his features seemed dimmer than usual. His eyes looked tired and strained with tension. The hospital was a draining environment, but I wasn’t sure that was the root of his uneasiness.
Hand in hand, we walked until finding a cozy little Italian restaurant around the block. The booths near the back of the restaurant were secluded, and I was relieved for the peace and quiet.
The waitress brought salad and breadsticks while we looked over our menus. As soon as she returned minutes later, we ordered our food, and Kyle added a glass of wine for each of us.
The waitress returned with our wine right away. I almost moaned out loud as I took my first sip. It was divine.
He kept glancing at me, and his eyebrows were drawn in, tugging toward the center. I couldn’t help but wonder what was on his mind. The atmosphere felt intense and clouded as it closed in around us.
Finally, I couldn’t take it, not even for one more second. As I opened my mouth to speak, he finally broke his silence.
“Abbey and I went four-wheeling on a mountain not far from our home when I was about seventeen. She was young and wild. She constantly wanted to keep up with Ryan and me. My mom had such a hard time with it. She wanted Abbey to be more feminine,” he said with a loving smile as he thought about his sister. “But our Abbey was all tomboy. My mom had a constant fear that Abbey would get hurt.”
My heart was beating frantically in my chest, not knowing where this story was going, as I saw the pain in his eyes.
Kyle continued, “I was originally supposed to go with just a few buddies, but Abbey begged to come with me. She complained that she never got to go out on the trails with us. My mom was furious that my dad had already given her permission to tag along. Mom made me promise to take care of her and watch out for her…but you only have so much control when each person has his or her own machine. You can lead, guide, and teach someone everything you know and still not be able to save him or her from an accident.”
I barely noticed the waitress setting our plates down on the table. Once she realized we were in the middle of a weighty conversation, she quickly excused herself.
The anguish in his eyes was crushing me. My fingers gripped the edge of the table. I wanted him to continue, but at the same time, I didn’t want to hear the tragic details I knew he was about to tell me. Abbey was safe and alive now, and that was the only reason I let him continue.
More than that, I was so happy that he was opening up to me, and he was doing it on his own. He never revealed much about himself unless I pried. I loved Kyle, and I also desperately craved to know more about him.
“She was right behind me the whole time. She always kept up with me and begged me to challenge her more. She said I was going too easy on her.” He laughed sadly, proud and pained all at once. “I knew better than to take her on an advanced trail.”
Our food was completely forgotten as he continued.
“As I came around a sharp curve, I used my body weight and leaned into it. I had taught Abbey well how to use her weight, but for this curve, I feared her lighter weight would be a major disadvantage. In that moment,” he said, shaking his head slowly, “I knew that she would not make that curve.” He paused, looking as though he was reliving a flashback.
His eyes were now almost black, the darkest I had ever seen them. Regret and guilt filled every curve of his face.
“Her back wheel slipped first. When the four-wheeler started to pull her over the edge, I heard her scream. I had already jumped off my four-wheeler, and I was running to her. I was inches from catching her front grill.” He winced.
“It sounded like a rough version of ping-pong as she fell with the four-wheeler down the side of the steep hill. I didn’t even stop to think when I went after her. I had no idea how sharp of a drop-off it was past the brush, but I didn’t care. My only thoughts were of Abbey. I just threw myself after her, knowing I could not go home without her.
“My biggest fear was that the four-wheeler would take her over the edge. By some miracle, I was able to catch her just before she
reached the final drop-off. She wasn’t screaming anymore, and I was worried about why she was so quiet. I will never forget the look in her eyes…fear followed by such relief.”
I gasped. It was heartbreaking to hear of such a gut-wrenching story about Abbey. Even in such a short time, I had grown very close to her. Seeing the agony in Kyle’s eyes hurt me. She was his sister, and I had firsthand experience with losing a sibling. I knew how he felt, thinking that it had been his fault.
That familiar pain seized my chest. Annie…
I pushed the thoughts aside because I needed to know more.
“What happened to her?” I asked.
Kyle sighed. I could tell he was fighting himself. I wasn’t sure why, but sharing his emotions, other than his feelings for me, seemed to be difficult for him.
“She had a collapsed lung, moderate internal bleeding, and a broken arm along with many scrapes and bruises,” he answered despondently, dropping his head. “It was the worst feeling in the world…feeling so helpless while just sitting in the waiting room…just waiting and waiting. All I could do was wait.” He paused as he looked up at me. “She was in a room just like Luke’s,” he added quietly.
Instantly, it all clicked in my mind. It made perfect sense why he’d had a difficult time being at the hospital. He had been so tense today, and I had known it was not because he thought I had feelings for Luke. The waiting in the hospital had been a trigger that hit close to home for him.
Unable to stand the distance, I stood, ignoring the surprised expression on Kyle’s face, and slid into his side of the booth. He welcomed me with open arms while I snuggled in as close as our bodies would allow. Thank goodness for the secluded booths. We were only cuddling, but the act felt so intimate.
I was caught off guard, and I was a little scared at how much his pain affected me. I felt it all the way to the depth of my bones, and I desperately tried to blink back the tears threatening to overwhelm me. I practically crawled onto his lap, and I buried my face against his neck. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. I needed to get a grip. I knew Abbey was okay, and I prayed Luke was going to be okay, too.