Wicked Memories (CASTLE OF DARK DREAMS)

by Nina Bangs

It was Kayla’s turn to sigh. He was going to make her work for this. “Thorn disappeared into this house three nights ago. No one has seen or heard from him since. The police, the media, the insurance companies, his lawyer, along with lots of just plain old nosy people are littering the castle. Sparkle is not happy.” She raised one brow. “So?”

  Grim studied her for a long time. His face gave nothing away. And just when she was about to start squirming, he leaned forward in his chair and spoke.

  “Do you love him?”

  Kayla blinked. What kind of question was that? She started to say it was none of his business, but then paused. There was something intense in his eyes that suggested she think carefully before she answered.

  She considered lying, but in the end she didn’t. “Yes.”

  He nodded. “Okay, here’s the situation. For eight hundred years Thorn was a bit of a jerk.”

  Kayla opened her mouth to defend Thorn, but Grim held up his hand to stop her.

  “If you want the story, you need to keep quiet, listen, and not interrupt.”

  She settled into sullen silence.

  “For eight hundred years, Thorn used his power of persuasion every day. His attitude? Why do something for yourself when you can get someone else to do it for you? Why buy that piece of jewelry when you can persuade the seller to give it to you? And before you accuse me of exaggerating or not being fair, know that Thorn told me this himself. He used a lot stronger word than ‘jerk’ to describe himself.”

  Kayla tried to see the man Grim described in the man Thorn had become. She couldn’t.

  “Thorn said he’d told you what happened two hundred years ago.”

  She nodded.

  “I’d guess that Thorn never did things halfway.” He offered her a weary smile. “When he decided to live like a human, he quit using his power cold turkey.”

  Kayla tensed. She sensed something coming she wouldn’t like.

  “And endured the withdrawal symptoms from hell for a month. Migraines that no amount of herbs or potions could stop. Stomach cramps and nausea without the relief vomiting would bring. Joint pain that made it agonizing to even move. Thorn told me he thought he would die, wished he had during most of it.” He shook his head. “The worst part? He was completely helpless. For a month anyone could’ve destroyed him. Vulnerability is a terminal disease in vampires.”

  Horror widened her eyes. “I thought vampires didn’t suffer the way humans do.” This was so much more than the one headache she’d imagined. Why hadn’t he told her the truth?

  “Guess whoever said that was wrong.” Grim leaned back against his cushion. “He’d developed a true addiction to his power. And like any addiction, when he stopped feeding it, pain followed.”

  “I don’t understand.” Kayla didn’t want to picture Thorn in agony, unable to stop the pain.

  “I can’t help you there. I don’t know of any other vampires who’ve gone through what he went through. But maybe most vampires don’t use whatever major power they have on a daily basis. Eric is a Mackenzie vampire, and he uses his power to create realistic illusions. But he doesn’t create them two or three times a day. Even working for Nirvana, he only did one a week that Zane put on magical repeat.”

  Kayla swallowed as she tried to control her nausea. Was this why she hadn’t seen Thorn for three nights? “Is he going through withdrawal now?” Please, no.

  “Yes.” Grim stood and paced in front of the windows. “Evidently, the addiction never goes away. Once he went through that first withdrawal and survived, he was fine. Until he used his power again. Even using his persuasion a few times in small doses brought on bad headaches.”

  “And he used massive amounts of power on the ship and to persuade Aegir.” She stood.

  “You understand now.” He walked over to where she waited. “Why don’t you go back to the castle? Once he’s feeling better—”

  “Will he feel better?”

  “He’s strong, and he’s fighting. The biggest danger is that he’ll give in and use his power just to ease the pain.” Grim’s eyes said he couldn’t make any promises.

  “I’m staying.” She looked around. “Where’s his room?”

  “Are you sure you want this?” He speared her with a hard stare.

  “Yes.” She thought of something. “Some of the others must’ve come around asking to see him. Did you let them in?”

  “No.”

  “Then why are you allowing me to stay?”

  He smiled. “You’re the only one who said she loved him.”

  “Of course.” Kayla rested her hand on Grim’s arm. “He has a good friend in you.”

  His smile widened. “I’ll remind him of that when I ask for a raise.”

  She didn’t say it, but she very much doubted that Nirvana would rise again. In silence, he led her up some stairs to the second floor and to what must be the master bedroom.

  “I’m sure you want to be alone with him.” He handed her earplugs. “So far Thorn has resisted the temptation to use persuasion on me to get rid of his pain. But you never know when it’ll become too much for him. Put these in if you have any doubts about his intention. Don’t bother knocking because he’ll only tell you to go away. Just go right in.”

  Kayla nodded and watched him return downstairs. Maybe she didn’t want to go in by herself. Maybe she wanted a buffer between herself and any angry words Thorn might fling at her. Maybe you need to suck it up.

  She took a deep breath and opened the door. Shock held her motionless with the knob still in her hand.

  His wrists were bound to the bedposts. Shirtless, his torso gleamed damply. He wore sweatpants that had ridden low on his hips. And he glared at her from eyes that burned with a blue flame.

  “I told Grim not to let you in. I’ll fire the bastard.”

  His voice was raspy as though he’d spent a long time shouting. Or screaming in pain. She ignored the fury in his gaze.

  “I didn’t know vampires could sweat.” Kayla sat on the side of his bed. She kept her voice calm when she felt anything but. “I always had this fantasy about a great-looking guy tied to my bed. Too bad it isn’t my bed. Did Grim do this?” Kayla clenched her hands in her lap to keep from touching him.

  “I told him to do it.” He turned his head away. “When the pain gets really bad, I sort of lose it. I don’t want to go running into the street looking for someone to persuade. And I’m not dead, so I can sweat. Now will you leave?”

  “No.” She leaned forward and put her finger over his lips. “Don’t shout for Grim. He looks beat. I think he deserves a break.”

  His glare could’ve bored holes in her forehead, but he didn’t call for Grim. “Did he tell you what’s happening to me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Figures.” He sounded disgusted.

  “Stop whining.” It killed Kayla to keep up the pretence that this wasn’t devastating her. But she sensed he’d hate having her cry over him. “I’m staying until you’re better. Have you been taking anything for the pain?”

  For a moment, she didn’t think he’d answer. Then he nodded toward his nightstand. “Five of those painkillers help a little.”

  “Five?” She got up to look at the pills. “God, that’s enough to stop an elephant’s headache.” She pulled a chair up to his bed and sat down. “What should I expect?”

  He looked resigned. “The pain comes in waves. And when it hits, it hits everywhere at once—head, stomach, joints. I don’t vomit, so you don’t have to deal with that.” He closed his eyes. “I’m not fun to be around then. You might want to leave for a few hours until the pain eases.”

  “Not a chance.” The savage sound to her voice surprised Kayla. It was all about protecting her mate when he was at his most vulnerable. Who knew the primal part of her still hung around in some corner of her mind?

  He lay silent for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes. So many emotions lived in his gaze that she couldn’t begin to separate all of them.

&nb
sp; “Why are you here?”

  It was a quiet question, but she knew her answer might be the most important of her life. Be brave. She shoved aside her fear of rejection, her uncertainty about their future, and told him the truth. “I love you.” Then waited.

  He never got the chance to reply because the pain chose that moment to strike.

  Thorn grew rigid, every muscle in his body locked in agony. He clenched his hands into fists and fought the chains that bound him to the bed.

  She leaped to retrieve the pills. Dumping five of them into her hand, she mentally thanked Grim for leaving a glass of some reddish liquid on the nightstand.

  As she fought to help Thorn swallow the pills, she decided the liquid was too thin to be blood. Maybe a watered-down version?

  Once she’d gotten the pills into him, she didn’t know what to do next. Frantic to help, she tried to focus. Joint pains? She began to massage his arms, shoulders, thighs, and legs. And she talked, anything to distract him from the pain.

  As the agony escalated, Kayla could see him clenching his teeth, trying not to scream.

  Grabbing his shoulders, she held him until his eyes focused on her. “Scream, damn it! Let it go. And I’ll scream with you.”

  And so they both screamed. When Grim raced up the stairs to see what was happening, she waved him away.

  Then after what seemed like hours, the pain eased. Thorn looked exhausted. His face was pale, his eyes red-rimmed, and his hair was plastered to his forehead. Kayla went to his attached bathroom and brought back a cool washcloth. She smoothed it over his face and torso.

  “I’m going back to the castle to get some of my things. Then I’ll be back.”

  “Don’t come back.” Each word seemed dragged from him. “Don’t want you to see this over and over.”

  “Shut up, vampire.” She mock-punched his chin. “We’re in this together.”

  If she hadn’t been watching, she would’ve missed the slight twitch of his lips. Kayla returned his smile and then left. She waited until she was in the car to cry. And when the tears finally dried, she realized that not once had she worried that he might try to persuade her.

  The next few nights passed in a blur of pills, screaming, and massaging. The agony was so bad that it even kept him from his day sleep. And when he grew incoherent with the pain, she stroked his face, his hair, and whispered promises she might never get a chance to keep.

  He never mentioned her words of love. Maybe he didn’t remember them. The pain had been coming on, so he might not have even heard her. Or he could’ve decided not to say anything because he simply didn’t return her love and didn’t want to hurt her feelings. That last possibility ripped at her heart.

  It was while she sat in the kitchen during one of those nights gulping down a quick meal that Grim found her. He sat down across the table from her.

  “How’s he doing?” His eyes were warm and sympathetic.

  She looked down at her soup. “The pain isn’t lessening.”

  Grim reached out to put his hand over hers. “It’ll take a few weeks for him to start feeling better. Hang in there. His mood has improved since you came.”

  Kayla nodded even though she wasn’t sure how much she was helping. “We were talking about you tonight. Thorn said you found your father after being separated from him for centuries.”

  “It was a freaking miracle.” He smiled. “My father married an investigative reporter. She tracked me down along with my brother and sister. Our family’s finally together again.”

  Kayla held his gaze. “I’d like to do the same for Thorn.”

  “What?”

  “His father was a jerk to him the last time they were together. He hasn’t seen him in a thousand years. I’d like you to help me find his father. And if old dad is still alive and has mellowed, I’d like to bring him here to see his son.”

  “What brought this on?” Grim looked serious. At least he wasn’t laughing at her.

  “He’s going through this because he chose to help others.” She leaned forward, trying to make Grim understand. “If his goal was just to bring Sparkle down, he didn’t have to persuade those people on the ship, and he didn’t have to use his power on Aegir. He could’ve closed down Nirvana and walked away as soon as he realized the sea god would destroy Sparkle’s business for him. But he stayed.” She looked down at her soup. “I want to give him this. Can you help?”

  Grim nodded. “I’ll call my stepmother.”

  20

  Every time Thorn clawed his way out of hell, Kayla was there with a cool cloth and whispered promises. But it was her “I love you” that he carried into the flames each time the pain grabbed him with its bloody talons.

  Fevered, semiconscious dreams had blended with his lucid moments for what seemed an eternity. Thorn couldn’t feed, couldn’t think, couldn’t do more than simply endure. He had no idea how long he’d been down. But the very fact that he could wonder meant he was getting better. Not that he had ever thought he would die. What had driven his terror was the possibility that during one of those moments filled with agony he’d grow weak and use his persuasion to stop the hurting. Then he’d be lost forever.

  Kayla had been sitting beside him tonight when he woke, just as she had for all the other pain-filled nights. He’d gotten used to waking up to her.

  Thorn didn’t want to blurt out his love while he still felt weak and probably looked like hell. Yes, he had his pride. But he’d tell her. Soon.

  It seemed, though, that tonight would be different.

  “Time to rise and shine, slacker.” She grinned.

  He allowed the warmth of her smile to fill all the cold spots in his heart. “You have something special in mind?”

  “I think you’re strong enough now to make it to the bathroom. First we’ll get you out of those sweatpants and then into a nice hot shower.”

  Out of pants. Hot shower. That combination of words had possibilities. Something stirred that hadn’t done much of anything for a few weeks. “Sounds like a plan.” The waves of pain had been coming further and further apart. And when they did come now, he could handle them. He no longer had to be tied to his bed. “Do I get my back scrubbed?”

  “That can be arranged.”

  She smiled, but he could see uncertainty in her eyes.

  Grim came upstairs to help him into the shower and then left. Jeez, just walking a few feet and shucking his pants had tired him. Where was all his vaunted vampire strength? Kick him if he ever used persuasion again.

  He was considering how long he could stand in the shower before collapsing when Kayla entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

  “One back scrub coming up.” She didn’t smile as she slowly stripped off her top, slid her jeans down over her hips, unhooked her bra and dropped it to the floor, and then shimmied out of her panties. He knew there was a reason he loved his clear glass shower.

  Thorn glanced down. Yes, he was alive.

  She padded on bare feet to the shower and slipped in behind him. He turned the spray on with hands that shook, and not from weakness. Thorn had promised himself there’d be other showers, but he hadn’t quite had this in mind.

  Kayla reached around his body to cup him. “Soon. But not tonight.”

  Soon. A popular word. Thorn knew she was right, though. Jeez, he could hardly stand up. Sex would kill him. But that didn’t stop him from reverting to the six-year-old he’d been a thousand years ago who would cross his arms over his chest, stick out his bottom lip, and shout, “But I want to.”

  He didn’t speak as she soaped up the washcloth and smoothed it over his shoulders, his back, his buttocks, and then his legs. Thorn locked his knees in place so they wouldn’t shake.

  Kayla reached for the handheld shower and quickly rinsed away the soap. After she replaced the handheld, he started to turn so she could do his front. Eager much?

  “No. Wait.” She sank to her knees behind him.

  He didn’t get a chance to ask what sh
e was doing before he felt her fingers slide over his butt cheek followed almost immediately by a sharp sting. Thorn widened his eyes. “You bit my ass?”

  Kayla stood, wrapped both arms around him, and molded her body to his back. For a moment he was speechless as he tried to find a coherent thought beyond the sensation of her soft breasts pressed against him. She was shaking. Crying? Panicked, he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong. Then he realized she was laughing. Laughing?

  “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

  “But you bit me.” He couldn’t get past that. “Why?” Not that he really cared. He was willing to take any bodily contact she was willing to give.

  “Practice.”

  He just stopped himself from repeating the word out loud. Thorn rolled it around in his mind. Looked at it from all angles. Practice for what? And when the answer came, it struck him speechless. Not an affliction he suffered from often. He’d save the discussion of “practice” for another time and place.

  Silently, he watched her wash his chest and arms before moving down to his thighs and legs. The feel of the washcloth moving over his skin soothed him at the same time it annoyed the hell out of a part of him that felt she should be using her hands. He tried to ignore that voice. The one that didn’t run its opinions through his brain first.

  Finally, she handed him the cloth to complete the job. The fact that she stood watching while he handled himself didn’t help matters. And her beautiful breasts gleaming wetly almost brought him to his knees. Not that weakness wasn’t close to putting him there anyway.

  The last thing she did was wash his hair. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her fingers massaging his scalp. After the final rinse, she turned off the water.

  Thorn was a detail man, so he noticed that one drop still clung stubbornly to her nipple. Before she could step away, he leaned down and licked the drop away.

  He heard her gasp and reveled in it. “We’ll do this again when I’m stronger.” Thorn hoped she read the intent in his eyes, because he sure wasn’t trying to hide it.

  The next few minutes were filled with bliss as she dried his body with a soft towel. Then she helped him climb into a fresh pair of pants.