Child of Mine

by Beverly Lewis

  Well, I’m not wearing designer clothes, but at least I won’t be underdressed, she thought, pausing at the sign, taking in the well-manicured area, a golf course that swirled about the grounds, and the lake behind the restaurant.

  “They have walking paths,” he’d told her.

  She took in a deep breath and drove through the parking lot. Jack was standing outside, more casually dressed than she’d expected, putting her mind at ease. He pointed toward the outer edge of the parking lot, to a single parking spot. She gave him a got-it smile and parked her increasingly embarrassing fifteen-year-old rust bucket.

  Jack met her halfway to the door. She felt nervous, wondering how to greet him, but he made it easy for her, kissing her cheek.

  He smiled. “You look great.”

  She thanked him, blushing and slipping a strand of hair behind her ear. She thought of Violet’s line in the classic movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, and repeated it verbatim, flipping her hair back with a flourish. And then she felt stupid, because it was only funny if Jack had seen the movie.

  To her relief he had and played along. He grabbed her arm playfully, and in a passable version of Jimmy Stewart, said, “Whadd’ya say, Violet? L-l-let’s dance till the sun comes up!”

  Kelly laughed. “You are a multitalented man, Jack Livingston.”

  “It’s lost on Nattie, I’m afraid. She doesn’t appreciate seventy-year-old films.”

  “She doesn’t like all things Bedford Falls?”

  “Potter scares her.” Jack grinned.

  “Potter scares me!” Kelly exclaimed, allowing Jack to escort her as they ascended the front steps. They were off to the races, she realized.

  I’m one meal away from meeting her!

  Jack put his hand on the small of her back, holding the door for her as they walked into the dimly lit entryway and were greeted by the spirited laughter of a full house. Jack made his way to the smiling hostess behind the wooden lectern and gave his name, confirming their reservation.

  While they waited for their table, they sat on country-style benches and made small talk.

  Eventually, they were called and seated toward the back, where it was somewhat quieter. Jack pulled out her chair, and she felt like a princess. So far there’d been nothing in his manner to indicate anything amiss.

  Living on the edge, she thought, smiling wryly to herself.

  “What?” Jack asked, noticing her smile.

  She leaned over, covering the side of her mouth, as if to whisper a secret. “This is really nice!”

  “You like?”

  “I love!”

  They were joined by the maître d’, who asked for their wine requests. Jack met Kelly’s eyes, noting her quick headshake, and declined. “Nothing for us, please.”

  The man nodded respectfully. “Your waiter will be with you shortly. I hope you enjoy your meal.”

  After they received their menus and studied them, the waiter came back and announced the specials. Kelly hadn’t known the prices and now felt sheepish for suggesting this place. To her, lunching at a fast-food joint was decadent. A lot had changed in ten years, when Bobby would drop a hundred on a meal without batting an eye.

  “I’m not sure yet,” she said uneasily, encouraging Jack to order first. So he ordered the filet mignon. She gulped, still tempted to order the salad, if only to lower the bill.

  Jack seemed to sense her hesitation. “Try the salmon,” he offered, and the waiter seconded Jack’s recommendation. “Or the roasted chicken.”

  “Salmon sounds delicious,” she said with a tentative smile, closing her menu.

  Jack ordered raspberry iced tea, and she, lemonade, and after the waiter left, they surveyed the room, mostly older couples in suits, ties, evening gowns, pearls and earrings, sharing stories, drinking champagne, laughing at their jokes.

  Jack leaned forward on the table and gave her a curious look.

  “I know that expression,” she said, taking a drink of water, her nerves rising suddenly.

  “Tell me about your work, Kelly.”

  She cleared her throat in what she hoped was a ladylike manner. She’d been prepared for the profession question, and she was relieved to answer it honestly.

  “I have a degree in marketing, with a minor in accounting,” she told him, reminding him she worked for an investment manager. “Just as an assistant, mind you, but I do hope to move up.” She paused, worrying that she’d sounded too assertive. “I wish I’d been a finance major, since I’ve always enjoyed the world of stocks, bonds, and futures.”

  Jack seemed intrigued as Kelly talked about the business, hoping to give the impression she’d worked at her present employment for more than a month, knowing it was unlikely he’d check her employment references.

  It wasn’t lying, not really. She just wasn’t telling him everything, like the real reason she’d showed up at his office, and the fact that a sociopathic monster, her former husband, had kidnapped her daughter.

  Things like that, she thought wryly.

  Overall, she was doing her best to appear forthcoming, and yet she couldn’t help holding her breath, waiting for him to burst her balloon with, “By the way, my sister doesn’t know who you are,” but it never came, and that in itself raised a red flag. Surely he wasn’t that naïve.

  At what she hoped was the appropriate time, she asked about Nattie, and it was like she’d offered him a million dollars. His eyes brightened, and it was again clear that Jack adored his daughter.

  Jack transitioned from one story to the next, and she couldn’t help thinking these were all the memories she’d missed out on. And yet she found herself studying Jack as he talked, observing his firm jawline, his cheekbones, the lazy way he styled his fine blond hair, casual and relaxed, and—Ernie had nailed it—those ocean blue eyes.

  She was curious about his past, how long he’d been single, if he dated much—she doubted it!—and if he’d ever been married, although surely he would have told her earlier.

  She decided to be direct and asked him outright.

  Jack leaned back a bit, considering the question. “Marriage just kinda slipped through my fingers,” he said, his eyes serious. “I wasn’t exactly marriage material when I was younger, and then when Nattie came along, I was too busy being a father.”

  A good father, she thought, hoping her expression was more whimsical then questioning.

  He smiled, narrowing his eyes playfully. “What about you?”

  “What?” she asked with a giggle.

  “Why aren’t you married?” he asked, covering her hand with his, making the question intimate.

  She felt her breath leave and tried not to stare at their hands. “Like I said . . . I was married once.”

  He nodded, waiting for her to continue.

  “He was a larger-than-life kind of guy. A real charmer . . . and a drug addict,” she said.

  Looking sorry, he nodded again.

  “Bobby died of an overdose.” After he kidnapped my daughter and sold her for drug money.

  “It was a difficult time,” she continued. “I was clueless at first, not aware of his addiction until . . . much later.”

  “Perhaps it’s a good thing you didn’t have children together.”

  She felt her insides collapse. This one would require a black lie.

  She sighed. Or she could just tell him the truth, something along the lines of, “Speaking of children, I should have said this earlier, but we did have a daughter. . . .”

  “Jack . . .”

  Chapter 25

  Will you have time to meet Nattie?” Jack interrupted. His eyes practically sparkled with anticipation.

  Kelly paused, trying not to seem too eager. “She’d be in bed, wouldn’t she?”

  Jack checked his watch. “She’ll be waiting up, I’m pretty sure, but even if she’s in bed, she won’t be asleep.” He smiled knowingly. “Trust me. Nattie and sleep don’t mix.”

  “I remember those years.”

  Jack
gave her an apologetic look. “I interrupted you. You were going to say something about . . . children?”

  She shrugged as if she’d forgotten, and Jack apologized for causing her to lose her train of thought, but she hadn’t, not really. The prospect of meeting Nattie had completely derailed her objective.

  “Didn’t you say you were once a magician’s assistant?”

  They heard an eruption of laughter from a large table across the room, a party of a dozen or so. By now, their entrées had been delivered, and Kelly quickly took a second bite of the salmon, trying to buy herself a little time before answering.

  She swallowed, reluctant to deepen her deceit but not sure how to dig herself out. Fortunately, their waiter passed by, inquiring about their dining state of affairs, and Jack murmured their satisfaction. He turned back to her. “Well . . . Nattie loves magic.”

  “Magic brings out the kid in all of us,” Kelly said with a bright smile, spooning up the rice pilaf.

  If I tell him the truth now, she reminded herself, I might never meet Nattie.

  It was a feeble excuse, but lately she’d been doing a lot of rationalizing. Stick to the plan.

  After dinner, Jack ordered one raspberry cheesecake, two spoons, and an extra plate. A king-sized wedge of cheesecake, with a dollop of whipped cream and raspberries on top, sat in a chocolate sunburst that swirled about the plate. The presentation alone was exquisite. Kelly took a tiny bite, reluctant to ruin the artwork.

  “Someday,” Jack said, “I’ll take you to Nattie’s favorite dessert place.”

  Slicing off a piece from her side, she didn’t miss the implication of future dates. Was he just being polite? And if so, did it matter, anyway? Whatever they were doing, whatever they were beginning, this whole dating thing wasn’t sustainable.

  She forced herself to meet his eyes and saw only kindness, and she had to look away. She felt dreadful. And if she hadn’t believed it before, she believed it now—he was clearly taken with her. And she, in the name of her so-called righteous cause, was about to break his heart. If so, she thought, the sooner the better.

  She reached in her purse, looking for a Kleenex.

  “Everything okay?”

  No, she thought. Removing a tissue, she dabbed at her eyes carefully, wondering if she’d smudged her eyeliner. She forced a smile, sneaking a quick look in her mirrored compact.

  Jack was staring at her, worried.

  It was the extensive lying that was starting to take its toll. She was accustomed to telling lies for a few minutes at a time, anything to find her daughter, but lying for hours?

  I have to tell him, roared back at her. Now. While we’re in a public place. She could turn it around, make it a joke. We have more in common than you might think.

  But it struck her, as if for the first time . . . what if Nattie wasn’t Emily? What then? Then something could happen here, something real for the first time in a very long time.

  I could date a nice guy for once came the strangest thought.

  They heard the tinkling of glass from the table across the aisle, an older couple dressed to the nines. They seemed gloriously happy. They noticed her staring and returned gracious smiles. The older lady, with white pearls and a dark blue gown, her white hair done up in a bun, raised her glass to her husband and winked at Kelly. “Fifty years, honey! It doesn’t get better than this!”

  Jack turned and wished them congratulations, then turned back to Kelly, his eyes hopeful. After a few more laughs, and a few more anecdotes about Nattie, Jack suggested a stroll around the lake.

  Kelly agreed and Jack paid the check and escorted her out the back door, down the walnut steps bordered by luscious-smelling flowers. They broke out into the freshness of the summer evening, imbued with the scent of newly mown grass and the mossy, sulfur smell of the pond. Birds fluttered about the trees, crickets chirped, and there was an early evening peacefulness that contrasted with her anxious heart.

  “I’ve got to stop talking about Nattie,” Jack announced, taking her hand.

  “Please don’t,” she said, hoping he hadn’t noticed how her back had shivered the moment his hand touched hers. Although he’d just promised not to, he continued to talk about Nattie incessantly. She found it charming.

  Hand in hand, they walked around the entire lake, reaching the beginning point, and by now time was slipping from them. She didn’t want to miss the opportunity to meet Nattie. “It’s getting late, isn’t it?”

  Jack agreed and gave her the directions, and she pretended to be informed.

  Moments later, she began following Jack’s truck through the heart of Wooster. It was in her own car, contemplating the date and the way her hand fit in his, that she realized she’d not only been lying to Jack but lying to herself, as well.

  Jack wasn’t just a nice guy. She actually liked him. And with that admission, little what-ifs began streaming through her mind again. Maybe I could love this guy. I could actually give this a chance.

  Up ahead, Jack’s brake lights flashed, then his turn signal began blinking. She slowed down as he did, following him around the corner.

  This was the perfect setup. Jack was asking her for magic. In a matter of an hour, she could have Nattie’s samples, and no one would be the wiser. In a matter of days, she’d have her answers, and she could breathe easier.

  But Chet’s “royal way” nudged at her again, her promise to him and Eloise. Despite her determination to keep that tidbit confined in her dark little box of things not to think about, it kept leaking out.

  Turning into Jack’s neighborhood, she parked on the street, and Jack met her at her car. She rolled down her window. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  Jack’s optimism shone in his eyes. “Are you kidding? She’s gonna love you, but she’ll be shy at first, so don’t feel bad if she doesn’t warm up to you right away.”

  Kelly’s next words came out without hesitation. “I just realized . . . I left most of my tricks . . . at home.”

  Jack shrugged. “Well, maybe next time.”

  “But I’d like to meet Nattie. I feel like I know her.” And then she remembered the purse trick in the backseat, the one she’d thrown in just in case. “Wait . . . I do have one magic trick she might like.” Twisting in her seat, Kelly reached behind her, grasping her tan leather handbag.

  “Wonderful,” Jack exclaimed.

  She returned his enthusiasm, but it quickly disappeared when Jack followed up with, “She’s inside with San. Remember her?”

  “Oh . . . of course,” she lied, her throat suddenly in her stomach, nerves hitting a high pitch. And as they headed up the sidewalk, her mind raced for a way to respond when San would most certainly reply, “I don’t remember you, Kelly.”

  But nothing came to her. She’d probably stand there and stammer away. Yep, that’s my grand plan, she thought. Stammer. And stutter.

  Jack opened the front door and gestured for Kelly to go first, her stomach in knots. She did, and Jack called loudly behind her, “Nattie-bug!”

  The home smelled of vanilla and pine, the inside resembling a grand-scale A-frame, open and sprawling, very contemporary, with hardwood floors, a long open kitchen to the left, the dining room to the right, and the family room up ahead. The wide wooden staircase leading to the second floor was topped by a balcony overlooking the main floor.

  To the right, beyond the dining room area, she saw a couple of wooden shelves filled to the brink with board games and an upright piano nestled between.

  Jack opened his arms wide as Nattie came bounding down the steps. Poor kid, when she spotted Kelly, couldn’t hide her disappointment. Her expression clouded moments before she forced a polite guest face.

  Kelly was neither surprised nor disheartened. If Nattie was like any red-blooded young daughter, she didn’t want to share her daddy, but it didn’t matter. Kelly was good at this part. Kids naturally gravitated to her.

  It was San who terrified her, whom she kept expecting to pop out of the wo
odwork, and as Nattie came running up to Jack, Kelly glanced around. Where is she? Out loud, Jack asked the same question, “Where’s Auntie San?” and Nattie gestured upstairs.

  Feeling a trickle of perspiration, Kelly ignored it and leaned over. “Hi, sweetie.”

  “Hi” came a soft voice from the wide-eyed child. Adorable haircut, dark brunette, and those eyes. Beautiful brown eyes.

  Kelly crouched to her level, hoping it didn’t seem patronizing, then figured out Nattie was already too tall for this.

  “I have something for you,” Kelly said, holding the handbag with both hands.

  Nattie’s curiosity got the best of her. She positioned herself directly in front of Kelly to get a better view.

  “It’s something your dad said you don’t have, but at the same time, it’s something he said you have a lot of.”

  Nattie’s eyebrows rose even higher, and then she squinted. You could read her expression: What could it be?

  Slowly, dramatically, Kelly began to open her purse, and then stopped. Nattie took her eyes off the purse and met Kelly’s gaze.

  “Can you guess?” Kelly asked.

  “What do you think it is?” Jack asked, now joining Kelly.

  Nattie shook her head, biting her lip.

  “Something you already have,” her father prompted.

  “Well, lookee here,” a woman’s voice declared.

  Kelly glanced up to see San descending the steps, wearing leggings, a long paisley shirt, and black leather sandals.

  “Hi,” Kelly said, feeling the perspiration increase tenfold.

  San wandered over. San, the overbearing sister, who, according to Jack, often said the first thing that came to her.

  This could go downhill fast, Kelly thought, but then saw something that struck her as hopeful—the unmistakable passing of a warning glance from Jack to San: Be nice!

  With a moist and clammy hand, Kelly stood and shook San’s hand.

  “Hi,” Kelly said, trying to put an inflection of nice to see you again in her tone of voice, which seemed rather feeble to Kelly, but her options were limited. Better to say as little as possible.