Infinite Loss (Infinite Series, Book 3)

by L. E. Waters

  Paytah rises and walks out of the lodge as everyone draws away from him to let him pass.

  Apawi runs after him and screams for us all to hear, “Even our women do not flinch as their bodies split with life. Congratulations, winte! Go find a husband!”

  My heart sinks at Paytah’s fate. Wincing at pain brings disgrace to our people and embarrasses us all. Everything is over for Paytah; no father will ever give his daughter to him now. Weayaya leaves to go back to his lodge to get stronger medicine since Paytah’s shame is a bad omen. The warriors stay seated, waiting to be cut as Weayaya scatters dust from a brightly colored bag—the bag that hung in the center of his medicine lodge. Weayaya once told me it contains the burnt ashes from the body of a great enemy warrior. One of the greatest victories he has ever witnessed. He was convinced it was the sign of great medicine.

  After Weayaya finishes singing his cleansing song, he speaks in Chase’s cutter’s ear and the cutter gets to his feet to go around to Chase’s back. I’m surprised Weayaya chose Chase for the most painful placement. Everyone leans in closer. The cutter takes certain pleasure in getting to test the paleface, and he starts to make an extremely slow incision. Chase sits like stone. He stares at one spot across the lodge—where Mika sits. She gazes back with a slight smile. After the incision is made, the cutter digs deeply to place the toggle and is disappointed not to get any reaction from the white stone-man. Once the toggle is in, Chase’s face erupts with a wide smile, and Mika shines proudly. Weayaya raises his arms for us to cheer, and we respond weakly, a little dismayed by this white person’s Lakota bravery. When all the warriors are cut, Weayaya calls for the drums to start and the warriors to begin.

  Each toggle connects to a long horsehair rope that is tightly tied to the main pole holding up the center of the lodge. Hanska, feeling shown up by Chase, jumps up and immediately thrashes to rip the fastest. Chase turns and springs out into the audience, five feet into the air, only to be yanked violently back when the thick back skin holds. Hanska, his eyes flaring with a mixture of pain and determination, runs around the circle behind the other shaking warriors, wrapping his rope around the pole as he stays at the same distance. As the rope gets tighter and tighter, his flesh gives way, and Hanska falls back hard. Everyone yelps at his quick release, and Hanska hops back to his feet to catch Mika’s reaction. She gives him a proud look and bows her head to him. His wife and mother come to take him to dress his wounds.

  Hanska pauses in their arms to look back at Chase, still at the end of his rope, and screams, “Lakota!”

  Some of the warriors give high-pitched yelps in response.

  Chase stops thrashing and turns around, so the ropes pull behind him and stares back at Hanska. He slowly steps forward to the very edge of the circle. His skin stretches so far that it makes two large triangles of flesh, yet he keeps advancing. We have never seen skin pulled so far. Everyone winces involuntarily for him and some turn away.

  Chase steps past the circle and between two squaws, with no expression on his face. Everyone hears the snap of the skin as the toggle goes flying, as if it was sent by a bow, hitting one of the other warriors in the head on the other side. Laughter erupts as Chase goes sailing through the crowd, landing in Reynard’s open arms. Reynard quickly strokes Chase’s head and says, “I am sorry to tell you again, Chase, that I am a married man.”

  Even Weayaya laughs in the midst of such a serious ceremony. Chase stands and brings his fists up in the air as Hanska turns and walks out. Mika jumps up and down along with a few other maidens trying to gain Chase’s attention. Wakinyan stays seated next to Mika, but I’m jealous when I see the look in her eyes as she watches Chase. I feel a strong urge to prove myself and wish I was already a warrior.

  Otaktay strides over to Chase and helps him up. He goes to slap him on the back and Chase puts his hand up, stopping him. “I am not that tough.”

  Otaktay lets his hand drop, nods in respect, and points for Mika to come and care for his wounds. She steps across the crowd at lightning speed, takes his arm, and brings him to the edge of the lodge. Chase turns before disappearing and winks at Reynard.

  Reynard claps his hands together. “You lucky bastard.”

  We watch the last warriors tear themselves away before the sun falls. We’re all relieved to see them succeed so quickly, even with Paytah’s embarrassment. At dinner that night, Hanska and Chase emerge with salves and herbs on their wounds. Weayaya’s wrinkles seem less deep as he completes another successful Sundance with no death. Everywhere Chase and Hanksa go, men, women and children gather around them. That night, the war council will meet and, with our tribe’s good medicine, our warriors will go on the warpath soon. The drums start up and all those not discussing war leave to dance, and I watch Wakinyan dance until my eyes grow heavy and mother comes to bring me home.

  Chapter 10

  The next morning I wake up with the sun. I want to make as many arrows as I can in hopes that I can go with the war party. When I see Hanska march by, I run astride and ask, “Will you ask the Chief if I can go with you?”

  Hanska looks down at me with a squint. “You think you are ready?”

  “More than ready.”

  He increases his pace. “I will go ask, but you better get your things ready. Weayaya saw the eagle soaring over camp. We must go at once.”

  I stop as Hanska heads to Eyota’s tent. I jump in the air at the possibility of being included and run to fetch Father’s best war pony. Mother paints me in Father’s colors—black and red. There is much commotion throughout camp as the warriors prepare themselves and ride out. Hanska rides over at the last minute and yells, “Kohana, kiss your mother.”

  Mother’s smile is tinged with worry, but she kisses my forehead, getting red paint on her lips. I vault onto the back of my pony and kick it to follow Hanska.

  I come up beside him, and Hanska says, “Do not get too excited. The chief wants you to stay behind at a safe distance.”

  I argue, “Why—”

  “Until you have your own medicine, you cannot fight.”

  Chase and Reynard speed by us to ride with Otaktay, in the lead. Hanska glares at Chase’s back. “You stay back and watch me. I am going to bring great honor. Otaktay will accept my offer by the end of today.”

  We ride right by Paytah at the edge of camp, sitting on an old log. He doesn’t even glance up to see us pass. I tell myself that when I return, I will spend some time with him.

  We ride all day and sleep under stick lean-tos, without fire, in the woods. We’re in enemy territory and have to surprise their camps in order to get a victory. Our three scouts are sent out to see what is ahead and two return, telling us horses and a small camp are up ahead by the river. Otaktay picks his best warriors to ride in front with him. Neither Hanska, Chayton, or Chase are chosen. A big-nosed man with a flat face and a long red-feathered headdress rides to his right.

  “Who is that warrior?”

  Hanska replies with a sideways smirk, “Your future father-in-law, Mato.”

  My mouth drops open. The man turns, hearing Hanska’s light laughter at my expression, and I see Mato’s strange, steel eyes. His stare is like a biting winter wind. After he turns back to the path ahead, I whisper to Hanska, “Is he part-white like Wakinyan?”

  “No, all Lakota.”

  “Is Mato a skilled warrior?”

  “Ruthless. He will kill the smallest child if it serves him.”

  I pause for a moment. “But he must be a kind man if he took in Wakinyan and her mother after the trapper was through with her?”

  Hanska grunts. “He took Zonta in only because of Wakinyan.”

  I’m quiet for a long time, thinking about what he means by that. Otaktay lashes both arms out to his side, telling us all to still. He points to warriors on his right and signals, then does the same for a group on his left. They both split off from us slowly and silently. He then signals us to follow him in a straight attack when he gives his war cry. My heart pumps thick i
n my ears as both Hanska on my right and Chayton on my left take out their bows and buffalo-skin shields. I bring mine out too, and Hanska quickly shakes his head and jerks it behind.

  “Wa-woo-woohoo, wa-woo woohoo!” Otaktay starts but soon it becomes this rolling, haunting, echo—each voice in its own time. The thin trees around us seem to rattle, and the pine needle-covered ground shakes. My eyes fill with tears as the sound stings deep in my stomach. Otaktay brings his arms down and they all take off, winding in and out of trees and into the clearing at the bottom of the hill. The thundering hooves of the ponies only amplify their yells as I stay as still as an ancient boulder in a madly rushing spring stream. I feel as proud as I feel useless, watching all my relatives risk their lives for glory. I see a cliff to my left and climb up to reach it. I get there just in time to see my tribe emerge from the tree line, and the Ojibwa assemble in defense. Women and children dash out of teepees and bound over the riverbank into the woods behind them.

  Chase and Reynard veer out on the left with their muskets raised. Most of the Ojibwa warriors are still fetching their ponies as Otaktay comes into arrow range. Each Lakota fires arrow after arrow, causing many of the Ojibwas to slow their horses and hide under their shields. Most arrows bounce off the shields because of the great distance, so it’s the warriors with the strongest medicine who get close enough to shoot with enough power to kill.

  Otaktay keeps riding forward as some of his other men slow behind him. He comes at the enemy yelping, with his bow and shield above his head. One of the Ojibwas shoots his gun, and Otaktay brings his shield down in time to deflect the bullet. Yet he keeps charging and releases an arrow with such force that it goes right into the warrior’s thigh and through to his horse, sending the animal reeling. Steel-eyed Mato is right behind him and grabs the wounded warrior off his horse and scalps him alive.

  I search for Hanska and see him headed to the right of the camp. If I know him at all he is heading straight to the village for looting. I turn to the left and see Chase and Reynard in a volley with four warriors. One warrior falls under Chase’s shot as another grabs his arm and drops back. The remaining two charge the trappers as the white men laugh and hoot until they reload and fire back.

  Chayton comes around the back of the war party, trying to cut across to the village when his horse gets hit with a stray arrow and rears. Chayton goes flying off backwards and lands on his shoulders and neck. He lies motionless on the ground. No one seems to notice. I wait a few moments to see if anyone goes to bring him from the field, but all are engaged. I know I have to go to bring him back before he can be scalped.

  I kick my horse back down the hill and let it find its way safely through the maze of trees. Chayton is still alone when I reach the clearing, and his horse stands loyally by him with an arrow in its shoulder. I get up on my haunches to allow my pony to go top speed and then leap off. Chayton still breathes, and his horse isn’t badly wounded. I crouch down and lift his heavier weight over my back and, once he is on, I take a deep breath and groan to get his weight up. When I’m finally standing, I see a yellow-painted warrior speeding toward me. I’m defenseless with Chayton on my back and can only watch as he brings his musket up. I close my eyes but hear two shots ring out. Feeling no pain, I open them to see the yellow warrior slumped forward on his slowing horse and Chase and Reynard crisscrossing each other to go for two other warriors closing in.

  I grunt again and, with my last strength, heave Chayton high enough to lie over his horse’s back. I can barely get back on my pony, but once I do, I ride back to my lookout with Chaton’s horse in tow. Chayton comes to shortly after and reaches immediately to check his scalp. Feeling it still intact, he breathes out and, seeing only me there, says, “Thank you.”

  We seem to be winning at the start of the fight, but by midday more Ojibwa come to their aid and push us back out of their village. As soon as the sun begins to fall, Otaktay motions for his Lakota to retreat. Many warriors have one or two ponies in hand, and Hanska’s neck is wrapped in thick beaded necklaces, his chest is stacked with three quill breastplates, and two rifles hang from straps across his back. He comes strutting up the hill on his tired pony with his arms out in triumph, his smile wide and white, plling a pony with an older squaw on it. Otaktay gallops up beside her, and she cries in Lakota, “Five winters, and you never came!”

  The ponies stop their procession as we realize Hanska has stolen back a squaw from our camp. Otaktay embraces her, and the two cry in each other’s arms. Hanska drops the rope, leaving them to their moment, and walks his pony by me. I kick to follow him out. Hanska turns to me and winks. “I told you. By the end of the day.”

  I gasp. “Did you know his relative was in that village?”

  He brings his medicine bag up to his lips, kisses it and bends his head back to the burning sky. “Of course not, but when I saw her she cried, ‘I am Lakota. Otaktay’s first wife!’ I couldn’t believe what the Great Spirit was giving me.”

  I laugh and look back to see the rejoined couple but see Chase’s angry face instead. He too must realize what this means.

  I turn back. “Well, then, you won’t be too mad now that I saved Chayton’s life.”

  He scoffs and sees Chayton further up, still holding his head as he rides on. “Nothing could make me happier than to have Chayton and Chase alive to watch Otaktay hand me Mika.”

  Chapter 11

  After two days of traveling, we ride slowly back into camp. The squaws by the river see us coming and let out loud yelps to announce our homecoming. Wives and children come out with happy faces as they embrace their returned warrior. A loud squeal rips out across camp as some of Otaktay’s older children see their mother return. Otaktay wraps his arms around all of them as he lifts his head to look at Hanska unloading his spoils to his wife. Otaktay nods to him, and Hanska nods back once. I see my mother’s beautiful spotted face as she comes to me with her arms out. She takes my pony’s lead and brings him to feed. I search the crowd for Wakinyan, and after I see her mother alone and Mika not with her, I get worried. I head to Paytah, who is watching the homecoming from his mother’s teepee.

  “Congratulations.” Paytah tries to praise me, but I shake his hand away.

  “Have you seen Wakinyan?”

  “In the woman’s teepee. She has begun and is being kept away until it is over.”

  A panic hits me. I might only have a month or so before she is married, and I wasn’t even a warrior yet. The drums begin to beat, and Apawi comes running through camp with his hair in front of his face and his breechcloth on backwards.

  “Come now, Paytah.”

  He shakes his head, but I pull him up anyway. Weayaya motions to the warriors to bring their scalps forward. Otaktay steps forward with three scalps on his belt, Mato two, and three warriors step up to hand Chase and Reynard two scalps each. Chase shakes his hands for them to keep the scalps, but they insist they’re his kills and that he must dance. Reynard takes the long black-haired scalps, places them on his head and saunters around the circle, making everyone laugh.

  Weayaya enters the circle, and the laughter ceases. Weayaya glares at the scalps on Reynard’s head, and he yanks them off with a guilty smile. Weayaya speaks to us all. “Our brother the eagle has not failed to foretell our victories. Otaktay brought every warrior home to us, with much reward. The Great Spirit has smiled down on us and brought us nine scalps and one of our captured back where she belongs. This is a good day.” He spreads his arms up to the big sky, expanding his leathery fingers as far as he can reach. Everyone cheers.

  Weayaya hands the dancers two clay pots of black and white paint. I watch as the Lakota warriors smear the black paint on one side of their bodies and the white on the other. Weayaya hangs the scalps respectfully on the pole in the center. Chase holds the paints in his hand and looks at Reynard.

  Reynard says, “You paint one side black and one side white to show the one-sidedness of the Great Spirit in your favor.”

  Apawi burs
ts into the circle with his top half painted white and his bottom half painted black.

  Chase points at Apawi’s paint difference and Reynard says, “Don’t follow anything he does.”

  Apawi laughs too loudly and says, pointing to the white, “This is the side the Great Spirit favors.” Then he turns around and points to his bottom. “This is the bad half.”

  All those watching laugh, especially the children. After the warriors have their paint on, a few older squaws step forward to put crossed sticks in the warrior’s hair and stick long colorful feathers up from the warrior’s belts. Mato wears his bear claw necklace—which only a hunter who has killed the bear himself can wear. Apawi walks up to Mato with his head high, points to his necklace of many small claws and says, for everyone to hear, “Mato, you are a brave hunter to have killed a bear, but I am also honored to wear my rabbit claw necklace.”

  Many laugh at this while Apawi looks around in disbelief. “You laugh at my bravery? You should have seen this rabbit. It was a giant, fierce rabbit, three times the usual buck! I shot him with an arrow, and he still ran fast. I jumped on top of him, and the vicious thing clawed and scratched himself free. I grabbed him again, and he sunk his sharp teeth into my arm. He drew much blood before I ended his struggle with my knife.” He pretends to be winded from the recall of his triumph.

  Reynard comes over and puts his arm across his back. “I am glad to see you survived.”

  This amuses everyone—everyone except Apawi, who gives Reynard a serious look. “Everything fights for life with their greatest strength. Who are we to compare their struggles?”

  A quiet comes over the crowd as many nod in agreement.

  Out of the silence, the drums begin. Warriors start to dance around the scalps, bending over low so that the feather sticks up like plumage, and then reaching high, offering up to the sky. Apawi, with the feathers stuck in his backwards breech cloth down between his legs, goes spinning around the dancers, occasionally stopping to flap up his breech cloth exposing a black painted rear end with big white smiling face drawn on it. The children erupt in laughter each time he does this. Chase appears Lakota in every way as Reynard happily makes little circles, rocking his shoulders back and forth the whole time. Reynard is almost as funny to watch as Apawi, who stands still and undulates up in a snake-like movement, with his red tongue flicking. By the end of the dance, my sides hurt from so much laughter, and I’m even happier to see Paytah is also laughing.