Hanging in the Stars: A Mafia Romance (Dark Romeo Book 3)
Page 34
My fingers curl around the gun handle. The familiar contours of the gun work somewhat to calm me. I tiptoe to the door, careful to avoid that creaky floorboard, my gun aimed at the door at heart-height. I lick my lips – they’re completely dry. My heart is thudding so hard in my ears that I can barely hear it when the knock sounds again.
I press my eye to the peephole.
Caden is standing outside. Caden, dressed in a dark shirt and denim. I’m going crazy. He can’t really be there. I blink. He’s still there beyond the peephole.
Caden Thaine. Every tall muscled inch of him. That dark hair that I love to run my fingers through. Those green eyes that unstitch me with one glance. That dangerous scar that thrills me to lick.
I’m hit with a torrent of emotion, so hard that I feel like I’m almost knocked backwards. I hate that he’s here and I don’t trust his intentions. My heart reacts by releasing a rush of heat through me. All at once my mind roars with chatter.
Don’t open it. It’s a trick.
But it’s Cade. You know him. He would never hurt you.
You’re an idiot.
He’s unarmed.
That’s what you think.
Fuck. Either way I have to know why he’s here.
In one swift move, I unlock the deadbolt and swing open the door, pointing the gun at Cade’s chest.
His eyes find my face first. They look down towards the barrel of my gun aimed at his heart. The sadness in his eyes makes my own heart ache, but I don’t drop my aim. I don’t falter. I don’t even flinch. My face remains stern like steel.
“You don’t need to point that at me, kitten.”
Hearing his nickname for me causes tiny cracks in my resolve. No. Stay strong. “What do you want?”
He seems to accept that I’m not lowering the gun. “Can I come in?”
His eyes remain on my face. No, I can’t keep meeting his gaze. It’s too intense and it melts me and makes me soft on the inside. I drop my gaze slightly down to his left cheek. “Not until you tell me what the fuck you are doing on my doorstep after disappearing for four goddamn weeks.”
A ghost of a smile touches the corner of his lips and I see him nod slightly. I feel for some odd reason that he is proud that I haven’t just given in to him.
“I came to apologize.”
Down the corridor I hear another door open. I can hear Mrs. Gardener, my neighbor, yelling at her husband not to forget the milk. Mr. Gardener has to walk past my door to leave the building, and even he won’t miss the fact that I have a gun pointed at this man.
I step back but keep my aim on him. “Get the fuck inside,” I growl low.
He steps in and turns to close the door behind him, just preventing Mr. Gardener from getting an eye-full of my barrel as he ambles past my door to the stairs. I step forward and press the barrel to his spine.
“Hands on the door.”
He complies.
“Don’t. Move.” Using the words that he always uses on me before he strips me makes my face heat up and sends a pulse between my legs.
Keeping my gun pressed into his back I use my other hand to pat his back, sides and legs down for a weapon. I can feel every hard, thick inch of him and my body responds like a cat in heat. Imagine if he were naked under my hands…
I bite my lip and am grateful that he can’t see me struggling to keep my shit together. I have to step closer to him to move my hand around to feel his chest.
Before I can touch him he grabs my hand and brings it up to his mouth. His lips running along my fingers has me shaking.
“I’m not armed.”
Anger and need mix in my body and it hurts. It fucking kills like a fist twisting at my insides. I hate myself for still reacting to him this way. I hate him for coming back.
I snatch my hand back. My eyes roam hungrily across his wide back under his dark shirt then drop for a second to his ass. Shit. I need more distance between us. I take another step back and he slowly turns around.
“I missed you, kitten.”
“Liar!”
“I understand why you’re angry. I understand why you want to shoot me.”
My gun is shaking in my hand and my arm is starting to get so heavy.
He continues, “I didn’t want to leave. But I could feel what little I had to offer you wasn’t going to be enough anymore. I don’t have any more to give you. I don’t. You deserve so much more than me. I thought I was doing the right thing by you. To leave before you started resenting me.”
“That is such bullshit, Cade.”
“But you resent me now anyway.” He shakes his head, sadness pulling at his features. “I messed up. I thought… I thought that you would be better off without me. I’m still sure that you would be better without me. But I’m selfish and I need you too much. I can’t stay away from you anymore. I’m sorry.”
My heart is flipping in my ribcage. I want so badly to throw this gun aside, this single piece of metal that separates us now, and to melt into him. I just… I can’t move. I can’t fucking move. I want to believe him, but I’m scared to.
“You looked so sad the other day. Even from where I was I could see that you’d been crying. I wanted to wipe your tears away and kiss your eyelids until you felt better. I wanted to kill the person that hurt you. Then I realized I was the asshole who did this to you. I fucking hate myself for being the cause of it.”
“You- you’ve been following me?”
“I just needed to know you were okay.” His hands raise in an attempt at placation. “That you were safe. Happy. I just needed to see you.”
I have to fight to keep my eyes open as a wave of emotion overwhelms me. It’s sadness and ache and anger and beautiful agony all at once. Cade has been with me even when I didn’t think he was.
“If you tell me to go away, I will. If that’s what you want. That’s the only reason I would ever leave again. I can’t live without you. It took losing you to realize it.” He steps forward.
I step back. “Stay back or I’ll shoot.”
He steps forward again and I step back. “Tell me you never want to see me again and I’ll make sure you don’t.”
I believe him. I could end this now. If I never wanted to see him again, he would go and he would stay away because I asked him to. He takes another step. My gun is shaking now and I’m angry that I can’t keep my aim straight. His hand comes up slowly towards the barrel of my gun.
“Don’t. What the fuck are you doing? You want to die?”
His fingers close around the steel. He aims it at his heart and steps forward so the barrel is pressing at his chest. “Kill me or tell me that you want me to leave. It’s the only way you’re getting rid of me.”
I can’t. I can’t do either.
“If you need to shoot me, then shoot me. I would be okay with that. My life is yours anyway, kitten. I know that now.”
“Fuck you,” I whisper.
I can’t look him in the eyes. I know that if I do I am a goner. I need to stay strong. I need to remember that he is hiding things from me. That he is broken.
So are you. You are hiding things, too. You are broken.
He lifts his other hand to cup my cheek. It’s the first touch that we’ve shared in almost a month. My skin warms under him and it feels like summer rain through my body. Warm and heavy and rolling. I turn my head and press my nose to his skin. It smells of musk and wood smoke and him. It smells like home. It feels like I’ve just taken my first real breath in weeks.
Every trace of hesitance evaporates. Whatever this is I can’t walk away and I can’t tell him to leave. We are bound. Always.
The gun slips from my hand as I reach for him. He pulls it from between us, and our bodies and lips meet. My arms clutch around his neck and his arm wraps around my waist. He pulls me up around his hips and moves sideways until I’m sitting on the kitchen counter. I hear the clatter of the gun being put aside before his hands race up under my clothing and through the neck of my shirt to grab at
my hair. The collar tugs back against my neck and chokes me a little, causing me to moan. His tongue pushes deeper into my mouth like he’s trying to taste all the noises I make for him. Using my legs hooked around him I pull him closer until he’s pressing against everything that aches for him. My lips, my heart, my core.
I lose myself in the rush that consumes me. It has built up and my heart feels like it’s bursting. It escapes as tears from my eyes.
“You bastard,” I say as I clutch at his hair. “If you ever leave me again you’d better be dead or I’ll find you and kill you myself.”
He laughs and licks each tear from my cheek and my jaw. But I’m not in the mood for sweet and loving Cade. I thrust my hips forward and rub at his erection through his jeans. He lets out a curse and I watch his eyes narrow as his darkness takes over.
I love all sides of Caden. Even the broken and twisted parts. This part of him is the one I want fucking me right now.
I have barely taken another breath when his hands tug my pajama pants from under me. The laminated bench is cold against my ass and I hiss. He steps back to pull the material off the ends of my legs. He doesn’t throw them to the side. He starts to wind the legs of my pants around his hands like a rope. I’m panting just watching him watching me. There’s nothing I want more right now than to be bound and laid out for him. I press my thighs together to hide my wet ache.
There’s now only a foot of material between his fists. He steps forward and pushes himself between my knees. My legs separate around his hips. He places the piece of pant material between his fists around the back of my neck.
“Put your hands on your head.”
I comply. The action causes my back to arch and my chest to stick out and I moan at the pressure of my breasts against my shirt. He glances down. From his angle he can see all the evidence of my need for him. My hard nipples against my top and my exposed wetness below, dripping to the counter. His gaze burns me and I suppress another noise. A devious grin slides across his face. I want to suck it right off his lips.
His gaze comes up to meet mine. He winds the legs of my pants around my wrists and starts to tie until, somehow, my wrists are tied to the back of my neck. With his hands, he pulls my top up and tucks it over my head until the collar hem sits just across my nose and over my eyes. Through the thin cotton I can make out his gauzy figure taking up most of the space in front of me. If I look down I can see a small gap at the bottom of the material. I can see the tops of my thighs and the triangle of counter between them.
I feel his wet mouth all over my breasts and hear him undoing his pants. He bites my nipple and I cry out. The pain is exquisite and I rock involuntarily on the counter. I need him now. Please, God, don’t let him tease me.
His hands find my ass and he latches his mouth to mine. He fills me in one swift movement. I’m tight around him and it’s almost painful, but he doesn’t pause before he starts to move. The discomfort quickly gives way to complete pleasure. We are relentless and ferocious as we thrust against each other. It’s like we are punishing each other for every last second that we were apart. It’s angry and raw and just so damn beautiful.
I look down through the gap of my shirt and I can see his thumbs pressing into my hips and the length of him disappearing inside me. This forbidden view pushes me over the edge. I come apart around him.
He pulls me flush against him as I ride my orgasm out. When my Earth stops moving I’m weak and limp in his arms. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, setting me down on the mattress. I don’t argue when he keeps me bound and blinded. We make love until we are both exhausted and spent.
In the early hours of the morning, I’m lying with my back to him, wearing a shirt and a pair of briefs. Like always, he is dressed. I can feel the warmth through his clothing as he holds me from behind. It’s just like it has always been with us. Except this time, Cade is in my bed. In my bed. He fills out the space in my sheets with his body and his warmth and I wonder how I ever slept in this bed without him. He pulls me closer against him and his fingers tuck between the mattress and me. I exhale. I feel safe.
But I don’t sleep.
Is this safety that I feel with Caden an illusion? I still have so many unanswered questions, now even more so. Will I still leave this city? Is there actually a connection between Caden and the Tyrells? Or is the matchbook just a coincidence?
I need to know.
I watch the pale dawn begin to light up the curtains. It has been a struggle to keep myself awake, but I have managed it. I shut my eyes when I hear Caden shift behind me. He’s waking. I feel the mattress depress when he lifts himself up onto his elbow. I can feel his eyes on me. With the softest touch, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. I hope he can’t feel my pulse thumping under the skin of my neck, otherwise he would know that I’m awake.
He places a light kiss on my shoulder and slips out of bed. I listen intently as I hear him gathering his things. My body surges with adrenaline and I have to restrain myself from moving until I hear the door close behind him. I jump out of bed and tug on the first pair of dark jeans and sneakers I can grab.
Here is my chance to follow him.
16
When I get downstairs to the lobby, I’m surprised to see Caden is walking down the sidewalk away from my building. I thought he would have come here by bike. I had picked up my car keys in anticipation of having to follow him in my car.
I slip out the front door and dart behind the small hedge that lines the property. There are very few people out this time of the morning, so I have to be extra careful; I can’t get caught. I need to know whether it’s safe for me to trust Caden.
My breathing is loud as it heaves in and out of my lungs. Too loud. Everything is too damn loud. My heart, my breath, my steps. I am convinced he can hear all these things. He doesn’t. He’s too far away to hear the way my body thunders inside.
My skin is jittering with adrenaline as I watch him walking away. I’m perched on the tips of my toes, my calf muscles tight and ready. He turns the corner and I race along the street after him, light on my feet so as not to make noise. I reach the corner he disappeared around. Did I lose him? I breathe out a small sigh of relief when I peek around the corner and see his wide figure still making its way down the street.
My eyes follow him until he turns again. How far will he walk? Where is he going?
I follow him like this through several more streets. Now I peer around the corner of a fence. Partway down the street, he crosses the road. My eyes widen when I see him turn into the driveway of a small residential building. No. Is this where he lives?
It can’t be. Caden lives four blocks from my home. Four blocks?
Is this just a coincidence? Or does this mean something?
I never want to involve anyone else in my business with Caden, but I’m desperate now. I thank myself that I had the presence of mind to grab my phone on the way out of my flat. I only have three numbers programmed in there. Dixie’s bar, Dixie’s mobile and Mick’s mobile.
I ring Mick. He picks up on the third ring.
“Kid, you’d better have a bloody good reason to call me this early in the God damn morning.”
“I need your help.”
Immediately I hear the change in his voice and alertness in his tone. “What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath. “It’s a long story, but I need you to help me break into someone’s flat.”
Then I hear him muttering. “Jesus, kid, what the hell have you got yourself into?”
“I have a good reason. Will you help me or not?”
There is a long pause. “When?”
“I’m down the road from his building, waiting for him to leave. You don’t have to help me. But I’m going to find a way in with or without you.” Preferably with you ‘cause I’ve never had to break into a place before. I’ve had to sneak out. But never in.
Mick mutters a string of curses. Then he sighs. “Text me the address. I’ll be there as soon
as I can.”
I eye the street while I wait for Mick to show up. The streets in this part of town are only just wide enough for two cars. The sidewalks are either nonexistent or cracked and broken and littered with large overflowing bins. The sky has begun to lighten and I bite my lip nervously. Soon the world will be up. I keep an eye on the front of Cade’s building, but he hasn’t come out yet.
A car pulls up to the side of the road near where I am waiting. It’s Mick. I hop in the passenger seat. He nods hello and turns the corner to park at the end of Cade’s street.
“Has our man left yet?” he asks.
“No.”
“You wanna tell me about him and why we’re planning on breakin’ the law for this guy?”
“His name is Caden Thaine. At least, that’s the name he gave me. I found another wallet on him and all the ID in there says his name is Harper Lexington.”
Mick’s brow creases. “Harper Lexington? Sounds familiar.”
“His family was murdered fifteen years ago. It was in all the papers, that’s probably where you know it from.”
“Huh.”
“Anyway, I followed him here this morning. He lives here. Or at least, that’s what I think.”
Mick frowns at me. “What is this man to you? Did he hurt you?”
“No. No, nothing like that.” I decide that if I am dragging Mick into this then he deserves to know why. “We’re seeing each other but he’s hiding something and… he may be connected to my past somehow. And that isn’t a good thing.”
He scratches at his chin.
“I think I love him,” I say in a small voice. “You have to help me.”
“Ah shit,” he says. “Alright, kid. I’ll help.”
I squeeze his knee. “Thanks for doing this.”
He grunts. But I can tell he appreciates my thanks.
It doesn’t take long for Caden to reappear out his door. I sit up in my seat. “There he is.”
“Careful with those claws, woman.”