I close my eyes, forcing my head to clear, for the thoughts to store away for the next three minutes. I focus on exactly what Tammy said. I think of something that makes me smile. I think of my niece and nephew, think of my family, no matter how neurotic they are. I smile, breathing in and out as a goat comes to sit next to me and another sits on top of me. I’m about to continue my happy thoughts when I hear Noah’s voice.
“Fucker,” he hisses out.
I peel my eyes open. He has three new goats around him. One is trying to eat his crotch, one is by his ear trying to chew the collar of his shirt, while another one just pounced on his stomach and then fell on the side and pounced back up again. Tammy finally declares the class over. Noah rolls to his knees and gets up, bending over to roll up his mat. I walk over to him.
“You anxious to leave?” I ask him, trying not to giggle at the scowl on his face.
“These goats are fucking aggressive and should be kept out in the wild. I have been bitten, nipped, licked, pounced on, and I swear to God that goat had his whole nose up my asshole.”
I reach out, grabbing his arm, but pulling my arm back when Tammy’s voice breaks through.
“I’m so sorry that this wasn’t as relaxing for you as for the rest of us. It just seems that they were drawn to you and your energy.”
Noah nods his head, handing me his mat so he can roll up mine. When he finishes that, he grabs the mat I’m holding as well as the one he just rolled up and grabs the bag. “Thank you for your class,” he says, walking outside barefoot.
I say a quick bye to them all, watching Stephanie smirk on the side as I follow Noah outside. I find him at the side of the building putting on his shoes.
“That has got to be the worst yoga class ever.” He ties his running shoes then stands up. “How much do I owe you for the clothes and stuff?” He grabs the bag, getting his wallet out, opening it to grab some cash.
I put my hand on his, stopping him from taking anything out.
“Trust me, it was on me.” I smile at him. “From one friend to another.” I wink at him.
“Really, then can this friend buy you a drink? Or better yet a bite to eat? I’m starving,” he says. “I know a great little Italian place around the corner.”
I think for a minute that this could be bad news. I shouldn’t actually go and eat with him. I am seriously playing with fire and right when I’m going to say no thank you I notice Karen lick her lips at him. Almost like a cat waiting to catch the bird about to fly over. “I would love to have a friendly dinner. Is it close enough that we can walk?” I ask him.
“Yes.” He nods, pointing down the street in the direction of the restaurant. “I’ll lead the way, friend.”
We walk first to Noah’s car where he puts the yoga mats and the bag in the trunk. As soon as he closes the trunk and locks the doors, his hand goes to my lower back as he ushers me in the right direction. When we make it to this little bistro, I notice that the inside is very small and they only have two tables outside.
“Hey, Mr. Noah.” A short bald man comes up to him, his arms open wide to give him a hug. Noah leans down to accept it. “What is that smell?” He backs away, his nose scrunching up.
“Giuseppe, it’s goat spit and probably shit.” He turns his head to smell his own shirt. He leans in to smell me, his nose lightly touching my neck, making my body almost shiver. “You don’t smell of goats.”
“You sitta outside.” He nods to the table. “Yeah, okay. I getta de bread.”
He pulls out a chair and sits first, making me grab the seat in front of him.
“Come here often, Mr. Noah?” I ask, sitting back in my chair, folding my legs and leaning back.
“Only when I want the finest Italian cooking in the city. ‘Mi Amore’ is just like eating in Italy. He has everything flown in.” He’s about to say something else when the bus boy comes outside to pour some water in our glasses.
I lean in, saying “thank you,” picking up my water, and almost finishing it off in one gulp.
Noah just nods at the boy.
Giuseppe comes back outside, grabbing the boy around the shoulder. “Noah, you meeta Giovanni. He’s my nipote.”
“I’m his grandson.” Giovanni smiles at us, walking back inside.
Giuseppe claps his hands together. “So whatta you going to eat thisa time?” he asks us.
“Is there a menu?” I ask him while Giuseppe just smiles at me.
“Bellisima, you tella me whatta you want to eat and I make it for you.”
“I’ll have the osso buco with the pasta on the side,” Noah says, drinking his water.
“Is that meat?” I ask him while he nods. “I don’t eat meat.” I look at Giuseppe. “I’m vegan.”
Giuseppe gives me a confused look then looks at Noah for help.
“Um,” he says, trying to explain what a vegan is. “Just vegetables,” he finally says.
“Also no butter, cheese.” When I see that he isn’t getting it, I smile at him. “I’ll take the salad with just olive oil and balsamic. And all the vegetables that you want to throw in it.”
He slaps his hands together. “I doa you the best salad in the place.” And he turns around, walking inside.
“Your smile totally threw him off of his game.” He smiles at me, bringing his glass to his lips.
I shrug my shoulders as if I didn’t know what I was doing. We both look at each other, each of us trying to find out what the next play will be and who will make it.
When Giuseppe comes back outside with bread and butter, he shocks me by adding a plate and putting a bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, moving it in the plate. “For you, bellissima.”
“Grazie.” I surprise both of them with my Italian word. “It’s the only word I know along with si and ciao.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “Noah, this isa good one. Si?”
“We are only friends,” he tells him, the words making my heart flutter a bit, a pang coming.
“Aha, like me and my Maria?” He throws his hands up. “We go to a school together back in Italy.” He starts his story. “Then I comma to America and she writes me letters.”
I sit up, leaning and placing my elbows on the table as I take in his story.
“Then my mamma she calla me and tell me Maria is getting married. My heart it stopped.” He places his hand on his heart. “I went back and told her you come with me to America.” He ends the story on a smile.
“So she came with you to America?” I ask him, anxiously awaiting the rest of his story.
He shakes his head. “Ah, that Maria she never a do what I say.” He puts his hands together like he’s praying. “Dio mi, I fall in love with testa dure.” His head is making the knocking on motion.
“She tells me, Giuseppe, I wanta babies. I tella her I give you all the babies you want. She wants tre.” He shows us the number three. “I give her five.”
“So she came to America with you. She left Italy for you.” The thought of leaving everything that I know hurts my heart.
“She said no. I said yes. Then I go to her fadher and I say I want Maria to come with me to America. He said okay, so she comes. She notta happy.” His hands go to his head. “Madonna, was she arrabiata. She refused to talk to me for a week. Now I think best week of my life, because now she never shuts up.”
We both laugh out while we see this small little thing come outside with her hands on her hips, her dark brown hair tied at the nape of her neck in a bun, a white apron around her neck with what looks like tomato sauce all over it. “Giuseppe, come and get the plates,” she says loudly. All he does is nod and follow her back in.
“See,” Noah tells me. “You can be friends with the opposite sex.”
I shake my head at him. “He basically did whatever he wanted.”
“Same thing.” He shrugs. “He knew in the end that she was what he wanted and didn’t take no for an answer.”
I don’t say anything else because Giuseppe and Giov
anni come back out with our food. They place the salad in front of me, a mix of greens, with onions, peppers, olives, celery, cucumbers, zucchinis, shredded carrots, and little pieces of broccoli. “This looks amazing, Giuseppe,” I say, but what hits me the most is the aroma from Noah’s dish. The pasta is tossed in what seems to be just a plain tomato sauce. My mouth waters, but what I don’t see is Giuseppe place a plate next to my salad.
“This Maria make for you. She checked da Google with Giovanni.”
I look down.
“It’s mellenzanie, eggplant. She cooked it in oil, no butter and then she put da sauce on top.” He brings his fingers to his mouth. “Deliscio.”
“Thank you so much for going to all this trouble,” I say, smiling at him, eager to taste it.
He bows and then walks away. I don’t watch Noah. I just pick up my fork, cutting the tender eggplant, grabbing a piece with my fork, and bringing it to my mouth. The flavors hit my tongue all at the same time, making me close my eyes and moan. The tanginess of the sauce, with the sweetness of the eggplant…I open my eyes, still chewing. Noah’s eyes are almost bulging out of his sockets, his hands gripping his fork and knife while his jaw clenches tight.
“You okay?” I ask him once I swallow.
“How about you never pull that sound again while we are eating? Or drinking, or ever.” All this is said between clenched teeth.
I laugh at him, cutting another piece. “I’ll try my best, but I make no promises. This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten, ever.” Even the salad, which is tossed with a lemon, balsamic dressing is light, fresh, and amazing. “How is your dish?” I ask, watching him swirl the pasta on his plate, taking a big bite of it.
“It’s the second best thing I’ve eaten.” He smirks at me then winks. “Ever.” His voice is smooth.
My body stills. My breasts perk up as if they’re ready to participate in a saluting contest. My mouth goes dry and it’s a good thing because I have nothing to say, no comeback, nothing. Just a dry mouth, clammy hands, and a beating fucking heart. I was so fucking right. You cannot be friends with someone you’ve been with, but the thought of not seeing him anymore bothers me more than I care to say.
Chapter Fifteen
Noah
As soon as she tasted her meal, she threw her head back and moaned. Whatever fucking power I had was gone, poof, vanished. That and the fact that all my blood traveled south, my cock fighting the constriction of my shorts. I couldn’t do anything except grab onto my fork and knife with all my might instead of flipping the table over and devouring her.
The minute I walked into the fucking yoga class I knew I made several mistakes. One, the smell was really horrible like I was in the middle of a barnyard. The second was her smile. Her smile stopped me in my tracks and then finally those fucking yoga pants. Jesus, good thing I had a jock on, which didn’t make me show the world what I had to offer. Now here I am in the same state. This woman gets me going every single time.
This whole being friends is complete bullshit. There is no way that she doesn’t want me as much as I want her. I can see it in her eyes, see it in the way her body responds to me. I’m about to lean in and take her hand in mine when Giovanni comes back out.
“Nonno wants to know if you want more food?”
Kaleigh smiles up at him. “I couldn’t eat another bite.”
He nods at her while he takes her plates. I place my fork and knife down.
He clears the plates, leaving us all alone.
“See.” I grab my water. “We can have dinner together as friends.” I wink at her.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she says, rolling her eyes.
Giuseppe comes out with a plate of fruit. Some watermelon, grapes, cantaloupe, and a couple of figs.
“Hmmm. I love fruit,” she says, picking up a piece of watermelon, biting it, and it’s almost as if it’s happening in slow motion. Her teeth bite into the watermelon, the juice leaking out the side her mouth. She licks her lower plump lip, my eyes following the movement.
“Noah.”
I shake my head.
“Where you go?” Giuseppe asks, laughing.
“Just thinking about my busy day tomorrow.” I grab a couple of grapes, tossing them into my mouth.
“You worka too hard. The whole country same thing. In Italy you have to slow down and enjoy life. La Vita Bella.”
The good life he says and I just nod at him. I pay the bill or at least I try, but since we are friends, Kaleigh chipped in.
Getting up from the table, Giuseppe comes over, kissing Kaleigh on both cheeks. “You come back, yeah?”
She smiles and nods. The walk back to the cars is quiet. The only sounds are the occasional cars along with the crickets. I follow her to her car, our hands grazing each other.
She opens her door, turning around as she stands outside. “Thank you so much for coming and for dinner.”
I lean in closer to her. Her breath hitches softly. “There is nowhere else I would have rather been.”
She stands straight. “Even with the goat rape?” She laughs, leaning in.
“Even with the goat rape.” I move forward just a touch more. “Want to hear a secret?” I ask her and she doesn’t answer, but I see her throat move as she swallows and nods. “If this were a date, I would end this differently,” I whisper to her.
Her eyes blink. She folds her lips then licks them. “Like what?” she asks, her voice so soft it’s almost like she didn’t say anything.
“Like”—I lick my own lips now—“I would hold your hand walking here. I’d open the door for you to get in, but before you get in I would lean in and taste your lips. I would kiss you gently at first.” I smile, thinking about it. “Then I would slowly lick your lips to have them open just a tad before I slide my tongue into your mouth. Our tongues feverish for each other. Tangled, wet, eager. The need to be in each other’s skin would make us forget where we are and who is watching. Because in the end it’s just going to be me and you.” I lean in, my lips almost touching hers, but instead I move to the side, kissing her cheek. “But I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have.” I step away from her, raise my head, and walk away. Take that. I smile at myself.
“Oh, Noah.” She finally speaks out. “If we weren’t just friends, I would have gotten down on my knees.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Have a great night, friend.” And she gets into her car and drives away, leaving me in the middle of the street, cursing out. Noah - 0, Kaleigh - 1.
I make it home with my cock still up and begging for relief. The cold shower and jacking him off did nothing for him. I crawl into bed, the smell of goat still lingering. My phone bings with a message. I notice it’s a picture from Kaleigh.
This was on the yoga page. Thought you would like it for your screensaver ;)
The picture is of me on my knees with a goat’s face up my ass. I zoom it in and see Kaleigh giggling behind me. You don’t have to zoom in to see my ass cheek clenching.
Thanks for this, but I think I’ll stick to Austin’s swollen balls.
Oh, that’s a good one.
I stare at my phone, wondering how to play this. I’m supposed to be friends with this girl. Yet all I want to say is get your ass over here now. Just the thought has my cock stirring into action. Lifting the cover, I say out loud, “Simmer down. I just took care of you.” I shake my head. I’m going crazy. This chick has me talking to my dick and the worst part is I’m expecting it to talk back to me.
I finally decide to write back.
Night.
That’s what a friend would do, right? I turn off the light and end up tossing and turning most of the night. I drag my ass the next day. Gone is the quirky free loving guy. In his place is a grouchy, unused cock. When the hot new red-haired receptionist smiles at me the only thing that happens is a grunt. A fucking grunt.
“Whoa, who pissed in your corn flakes?” Harvey asks from behind me. He had gotten off the other elevator.
“I’m just cranky.” I run my
hand through my hair.
“You sound like an old married man. You’re single, with no ties at all. You should be standing up shouting ‘I’m the king of the world.’” He smiles, continuing, “This morning I woke up with the biggest case of blue balls. I haven’t had sex this whole month.”
I stand here gawking at him. “The whole month? That’s like thirty days, sometimes thirty-one.”
“Yup, the most action my dick has gotten this month was my daughter kneeing me in the balls.” He shakes his head. “The baby is teething and keeping us up all night. If I’m honest, I’m just so tired that my dick probably wouldn’t even get up.”
My hand goes over my mouth. “Thirty days? Do you?” I motion with my hand the jerking off motion.
“Thirty days, if not more. Who the fuck is counting?”
“Are you sure it can still work?” I point at his crotch as we stand in front of his office.
“It works just fine.” He laughs, taking a sip of his coffee. “Now stop being a cranky bastard and go get some pussy, for all our sakes.” He turns to walk into his office.
I go into my office, sitting at my desk, staring into the sky when my phone beeps.
Are you sore this morning?
The text from Kaleigh has me smiling. Grump is gone with five words.
If only you knew. I answer back while I cup my cock.
It’s probably because you kept tensing up with the goats.
Goats have nothing to do with this pain.
Bhahahah really??? So what ails you?
I’m seriously addicted to this woman and I can’t get her out of my mind.
Noah!! she answers back right away
What? I reply back.
We are supposed to be friends.
Friends can’t discuss other friends’ love lives?
Oh, she replies. I thought.
You thought I was talking about you? That I was talking about us?
Well…
Is all she says before there is a knock on my door. Looking up, I see it’s Norma. “We have all the paperwork drawn up for Sal’s newest venture.” She comes in, placing the file on my desk. “The owners are leaving at four p.m. this afternoon for vacation and would like this settled before then.”
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