by Pentabu
MOM: And she’s safe!
ME: No she’s not!
I don’t care if she’s still in her twenties; it’s not an automatic excuse!
And that one was clearly an out!
I’m the one who writes the rule book!
DAD: … Is it just me, or have your put-downs been sharpened since the last time we saw you?
MOM: They cut harder… and they have a strong flavor.
ME: Okay, I understand the “cut”… but “flavor”?
Am I a beer now?
MOM: Fizz!
ME: What is that, a sound effect?
DAD & MOM: Fizz, fizz!
ME: Stop harmonizing!
Oh yeah! I remember now!
For some reason, I forgot that my parents are huge pains in the ass!
MOM: Oh, honey?
DAD: Hmm? What?
MOM: If you’re done with the wash, will you wipe down the table?
DAD: Already did it.
MOM: Okay. I’ll pour some drinks later if you get the glasses out.
DAD: You got it!
Hmm-hm-hm-hmmm.
Dad turned back toward the living room, humming.
… Come on, Y-ko. Don’t smile like that.
I know what’s going on.
I’d always had an inkling it was the case.
I just didn’t want to admit it.
—The reason I can’t snap back at you…
—I guess this is what they mean by, “You can’t fight your nature.”
Taking My Girlfriend to Meet My Parents, Part 7.
2007/02/12 18:20
So.
The story of the face-to-face meeting of my parents and my girlfriend ends today.
My dad is driving us to the airport in his car.
The conversation naturally turns to reflect on the last few days.
DAD: How did you like America, Y-ko?
Y-KO: I had a lot of fun!
It was great getting to meet you and talk to you.
MOM: And I’m glad to hear about what this young man’s been getting up to back home.
We’ll have to meet up in Japan next time.
Y-KO: Absolutely. I’ll be expecting more childhood stories, too.
Particularly the embarrassing ones!
She still wants more…
After my poor past has already been stripped bare and savaged…
MOM: Ha-ha-ha, you can count on it.
Also, we’ve still got some albums left in Japan to show you.
What’s with a parent’s obsession with photo albums, anyway?
I’ve had enough of my photos being dug out of storage!
… And now Y-ko’s got a whole new hand of embarrassing things she can lord over me!
MOM: Oh, and if he does anything to you, just e-mail me about it anytime you like.
Y-KO: Of course! I will!
And when did they exchange e-mail addresses?!
Plus, is it just me, or are they way too friendly?!
I mean, sure, it’s better than the usual mother and daughter-in-law scenario,
but I still don’t like what this relationship is implying… for me!
And Mom!
If anyone’s going to get stuff done to them, chances are it’s going to be me!
—And as the harmless (except to me) conversation continued, we arrived at our destination: the airport.
We put our bags on the counter, and it came time for the (exaggerated) farewells.
DAD: Good-bye, Y-ko. You take good care of our boy.
MOM: I hope you can overlook his many faults.
Y-KO: Huh? Uh… okay.
Wow.
She’s in serious mode for once.
DAD: Oh, and son, be careful not to forget anything.
MOM: And brush your teeth before you go to bed.
Y-KO: Look left and right before you cross the signal, and raise your hand.
ME: Be serious! Please, treat me like a serious human being!
And why are you joining in the teasing, Y-ko?!
Y-KO: Oh, I just thought the situation called for it.
It worked out nicely, didn’t it?
DAD: But, Y-ko… it’s not the signal you cross, it’s the street.
Y-KO: … Good point!
Yes, it may have been a good point!
But is that the best comment a father can make in this situation?!
Your son is being lectured about how to cross the street, and that’s the best you can come up with?
DAD: Okay, enough of the jokes.
Ahem, he coughed.
DAD: You stay safe.
MOM: And don’t forget to call.
ME: … Right. I’ll see you later.
Y-KO: Thank you for everything.
ME: Let’s go.
I waved to my parents and headed through the gate with Y-ko.
… It was a short trip, but it was well worth it.
Y-KO: You’ve got nice, fun parents.
ME: I know, right? A bit weird, though.
Y-KO: Ha-ha-ha. But I can see why you turned out the way you did.
ME: Is that so?
… I guess that statement from you makes it worth the trip.
Y-KO: Plus Papa Sebas is a fun person.
ME: Papa Sebas?!
Y-KO: Oops, should I call him Sebas Papa?
Personally, I think Papa Sebas has a much better ring to it than Sebas Papa.
ME: Whether Papa comes first or last is not the problem!
My problem is with you calling my own dad Sebas!
Y-KO: Okay, got it. I’ll just abbreviate Papa Sebas into Papas, then.
ME: Papas?! Are you going to kill off my dad?
Y-KO: If that happens, the question is whether I’m Bianca or Nera…
By the way, which one did you pick?
ME: No, that isn’t the question… but to answer your query,
I’m the type who would prefer to play the game twice and enjoy each side of the story.
Y-KO: Aaah! I’m going to tell your mother about this!
ME: About what?!
Y-KO: Her son is an adulterer!
ME: I am no such thing!
But for some reason, I feel incredibly guilty!
Should I have picked one or the other?!
Y-KO: Heh… You will learn to rue this terrible mistake.
ME: … Okay. Which one should I have picked?
Y-KO: Huh? Which what?
ME: Bianca or Nera? Which is the correct choice?
To be perfectly honest, if I was forced to choose one and not the other,
I’d have to go with Bianca…
I guess?
I don’t really know.
Y-KO: In that case… the answer should be… me.
ME: …… What?
… Me?
Y-KO: I don’t care if they’re childhood friends or rich landowners’ daughters.
You are not allowed to choose any woman aside from me. How’s that?
ME: … I get the picture.
Yes, I see.
A very bold and cool statement, especially considering it came out of a pointless discussion about video games.
… Well, damn.
Sometimes she just knows how to be cool.
…… Hmm?
Wait a minute.
ME: Well, you know what that means! I can’t make the jump into girl games now!
Y-KO: Huh?
ME: Well, I’m not allowed to choose any woman aside from you, right?
Even if she’s from a video game.
Y-KO: …… Umm, I… guess so?
ME: Oh good! Now I don’t have to worry about cheating on you with 2-D girls.
And that means you’re going to stop trying to shove those games down my throat!
Yes.
She is all about the erotic games, the girl games, the dating sims.
She keeps trying to force me to play them.
Y-KO: …… Hmm…
ME: You want me to
choose you, not Bianca or Nera, right?
I put the screws to her.
If I can wring a statement out of her, I win!
Y-KO: …… I guess I don’t have a choice. I’ll stop pushing those girl games on you.
… Victory!
I felt a wicked, leering grin form behind my face,
just like the kind you’d see on the protagonist of a certain manga about shinigami and notebooks.
Y-KO: —But in exchange…
… Huh?
In exchange…?
Y-KO: I said you couldn’t choose another woman but didn’t say you couldn’t choose a man!
… Oh, I think they’re boarding us now. Let’s go, SuperheroSebas!
ME: Wipe that evil smile off your face!
That’s not the kind of smile you point at your lover!
That’s the smile the owner of a shinigami’s notebook makes when he announces his victory!
And that’s how we came home!
* Bianca or Nera: The central choice of the game Dragon Quest V: Hand of the Heavenly Bride is whether you will marry your childhood friend Bianca or the wealthy Nera—the ultimate dilemma. By the way, Papas (or Pankraz in the English edition) is the main character’s father, who dies during the game.
Intellectual conversation.
2007/02/25 20:35
In the school library.
Yes, the same library that has all those helpful literature, science, and history texts.
… Actually, it shames me to admit that when I was a student (okay, I still am a student),
I never got very much use out of it, so I’m not familiar with how it works…
The same library that has not a single entertaining book unrelated to study.
Yes, out of those school libraries packed full of (supposedly) intellectual textbooks…
… I have heard that some actually have copies of My Girlfriend’s a Geek, which is centered around distinctly unintellectual conversation between Y-ko and yours truly.
… It’s a thing to be grateful for.
Y-KO: … I guess Japan’s education has really broadened its horizons recently…
ME: It starts with “M,” so imagine looking down the row and seeing Macbeth right next to My Girlfriend’s a Geek.
Y-KO: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Shouldn’t it be organized by category? Then it’d go Junai Romantica, My Girlfriend’s a Geek.
ME: …… Junai Romantica?
Y-KO: The new volume is out this month.
ME: Another BL manga?
Y-KO: Close! Junjo Romantica is the comic version.
ME: … Okay, I have no idea whether that’s a novel or comic,
but I do know that there’s no library that stocks tons of BL!
Y-KO: Huh? If they have our book, then surely it can’t be that big of a stretch, right?
ME: ……!
Y-KO: … Right?
ME: ……
True, I guess it’s not that big of a stretch…
… Wait, what?
* Junjo/Junai series: The Junjo series is a manga while the Junai series is a novel. The Junjo Romantica manga is drawn by Shungiku Nakamura, while the Junai Romantica novels are written by Miyako Fujisaki with illustrations and concept by Shungiku Nakamura. In fact, the Junai novels are a story written by the Junjo manga character Akihiko Usami. In other words, it’s a story by Akihiko Usami told through the pen of Miyako Fujisaki. Confusing, huh?
Y-KO: Well, if we’re going to get our book put in school libraries,
then we probably ought to have some intellectual conversation sometimes, right?
ME: … Intellectual conversation?
Y-KO: What’s with that Can you do that? glance?
ME: Ooh, close! It was actually You can’t, can you?
Y-KO: How rude! I’ll have you know I’ve got an intelligent conversation or two in me!
ME: Oh yeah?
Y-KO: Follow me, Sebas! We’re embarking on a stimulating exchange of ideas!
ME: … No idea what you’re so excited about, but I’m game.
Let’s see what you’ve got, Y-ko.
Y-KO: So, the yen is down!
ME: Its exchange rate against both the dollar and the euro are brutal right now.
Y-KO: ……
ME: ……
Y-KO: …… Okay, I give up.
ME: … Huh? What do you mean, you give up?!
Is that the end of it? Already?!
And what exactly did you think was “intellectual” about this, Y-ko?!
Y-KO: … I guess charging into battle using your specialty of economic analysis was a bad idea.
ME: This was a battle?
Y-KO: It was a mistake to challenge someone who reads the newspaper cover to cover to a discussion about the Japanese economy. If I had to make a comparison,
it was like Amuro attempting to fight the Sazabi before he had even read the manual.
* Sazabi: A psycommu-equipped Newtype mobile suit that appears in Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack. It utilizes the psychowaves emitted by Newtypes to control all the onboard systems. A very advanced craft miles beyond what was seen in the original Mobile Suit Gundam, where Amuro operated his first mobile suit with the manual in hand.
ME: I’m afraid your example is over my head…
And isn’t it normal for people to read the paper cover to cover?
Y-KO: The newspaper exists solely for the TV guide section!
ME: Only the TV section? No wonder you go through the paper so quickly!
I see!
The age-old mystery has finally been solved!
Plus, we get the Nikkei paper, which has the TV guide hidden in the middle. Must be hard to search for it!
Y-KO: Don’t look at me like that, you first-page Sebas!
ME: First-page Sebas?!
Y-KO: First-page Sebas… Actually, wait. That’s kind of moe.
Imagine the first page, covered with little Sebases.
ME: Actually, I think that sounds more like horror than moe…
A first page covered with Sebas.
That’s an image that can only inspire fear.
If I saw it in a dream, it would be a nightmare by default.
Y-KO: Oh, crap! We’ve lost the topic! This isn’t intellectual at all!
Did you just notice?
And I didn’t realize you were still focused on your “intellectual” discussion.
Y-KO: Okay! Here we go with round two!
ME: Well, I’m game… but no giving up right off the bat like last time, okay?
Y-KO: … Did you know that Toru Furuya, who played the voice of Amuro Ray, also played the protagonist of Star of the Giants?
ME: I give!
Voice actors?
And what happened to “intellectual”?
Y-KO: And of course, you’re aware that Mr. Furuya also played the great Tuxedo Mask, mystery thief of Sailor Moon?
ME: I told you, I give up!
Y-KO: Also, Athrun (Gundam SEED) and Kaworu Nagisa (Evangelion) are played by the same actor.
Murrue (Gundam SEED) was done by the person who played Misato (Evangelion) and Usagi (Sailor Moon). Also, Domon (Mobile Fighter G Gundam) and Yzak (Gundam SEED) are the same person…
Oh, and I think he’s also Suneo from Doraemon, right?
ME: W-well, I can at least recognize the names of some of those characters!
Y-KO: Plus, isn’t the actor who plays Archer also the one who does Atobe?
ME: Are you raising the difficulty level on these references?
I’ve never heard of these characters before!
Y-KO: What?! You don’t know them?!
ME: I can’t believe you actually expected me to be familiar with them!
Y-KO: Okay, here’s a hint!
ME: That’s supposed to be a hint?
Y-KO: Yep. Now repeat it together with me.
Be awed at the sight of my prowess! And go!
ME: Be aw…
> No way, I am not doing this.
Y-KO: Be awed at the sight of my prowess! And go!
ME: I told you, no way! Why do I have to repeat it?
Y-KO: Because I was surprised at how embarrassing it was to say on my own!
It’s not fair that I’m the only one who feels ashamed!
ME: So you do have a sense of shame!
* Prince of Tennis’s Keigo Atobe and Fate/stay night’s Archer were both played by actor Junichi Suwabe. He’s also responsible for roles in Nana (Kyosuke Takakura), Nodame Cantabile (Toru Kikuchi), LoveCom (Kuniumi Maitake), Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny (Sting Oakley, Malik Yardbirds, Mars Simeon). Is there no limit to his talent?! “Be awed at the sight of my prowess” is the catchphrase of PoT’s Keigo Atobe.
Inhuman Monster.
2007/03/08 20:27
Well.
In the previous update, I made a statement to the effect that “school libraries would never stock anything like BL,” but…
… it appears that school libraries do have BL…
I must admit that I have underestimated the diversity of our places of learning…
Y-KO: … So school libraries do have BL…?
ME: The truth can be shocking… and did you really not know that?
Y-KO: Huh? Well, I don’t go to a library to borrow books,
I just buy my own. Especially when it comes to BL.
ME: So it’s been that way since you were a student?
Y-KO: When it comes to my book collection, I can probably beat your average library.
Especially when it comes to BL.
ME: That’s not something I’d prefer to gloat about.
Y-KO: Want to read some?
ME: …… I’ll pass, thanks.
Y-KO: What a waste. I guess I’ll have to do it, then…. Here we go.
ME: Go ahead, be my g—Wait a minute! Where did you get that book?!
Y-KO: Huh? From your bookcase.
ME: Was that always there?!
No, it definitely wasn’t!
I check every week to make sure the number of books stays the same!
Especially before I have friends over to hang out!
Y-KO: Heh-heh-heh, that’s my secret skill: the mundane dust cover!