by Pentabu
ME: ……!
Y-KO: But now it’s time to return to your mischievous past!
I’ll be Great Saiyaman number two, so you handle number one’s pose.”
ME: Absolutely not!! You have zero intention of making that pose, do you?!
Y-KO: Damn, busted.
ME: I knew it…
Y-KO: Don’t let it bother you… Ooh, got another message. What does this one say…?
Ohh, it sounds like she still has video of that talent show presentation.
ME: What?! Why does she still have that?!
And more importantly, what kind of e-mails have you been trading with my mom?!
Y-KO: What kind? The Top 100 Most Embarrassing Stories involving you.
ME: Mom… What are you doing to me…?
Of all the horrible shocks!
My own mother has turned to the enemy’s side!!
Y-KO: —Oh, and I’ve been thanking her for these stories by reporting more embarrassing tales about you (in the present) in return.
ME: ……
Th… this is no time to be crying!!
Hang in there, me… Hang in there!!
“Happiness.”
2007/07/30 21:00
As I returned home from my work training session,
I found an almost shockingly excited Y-ko.
Full beam on her lips, comic magazine in her hand.
Comic B’s Log.
—The comic magazine that, beginning this month, will run Rize Shinba’s manga version of My Girlfriend’s a Geek.
Y-KO: You’re finally home! It’s about time, Sebas!
The magazine that has the manga in it has arrived!! Here, look!!
And she shoved the magazine under my nose.
… Oh, wow. Right on the cover. My Girlfriend’s a Geek.
ME: …… Uhh, for starters, I’m home.
Y-KO: Welcome back! So, would you like manga?! Would you like manga?! Would you like manga?! Or would you prefer manga?!
ME: You seem really excited, Y-ko…
Y-KO: Are you kidding?! I’ve been turned into a manga!
How can I stay calm? How shan’t I stay calm?!
ME: … That doesn’t make any sense.
Y-KO: I’m serious! What should we do, Sebas? This is amazing!
I’ve finally fulfilled my longtime dream and become two-dimensional!
And I look so pretty! What’s going on? Is this a dream? If it’s a dream…
And she brandished the magazine at me.
What’s she going to do? Hit me with it? With the corner?!
ME: Careful! Not the corner! Those thick magazines hurt when you hit with the corner!!
Y-KO: … Oh, I’m only kidding. I wouldn’t hit you with such a valuable magazine.
What if I snapped something?
ME: Like… my bones?
Y-KO: No, like the spine of the magazine.
ME: Ouch, that hurts my heart! I think you may have snapped my heart in two!!
Y-KO: Oh good. If it hurts, that proves that this isn’t a dream.
……
Okay. Hang in there, me.
ME: … Putting that aside, how was it?
What do you think of the manga edition?
Y-KO: The collection of family treasures that is passed down through generations has just grown to accept a new article.
………
Family treasure already? Of course, that’s pretty much how I felt about it, too.
ME: Well, it’s certainly an amazing thing to be the main character of a manga.
… But the idea of a multigeneration family treasure is just as wild.
My family doesn’t have any of those.
Y-KO: Oh, there’s all sorts of stuff. I’ve also got all the necklaces and shoes you gave me, and the stub of the first movie we saw together, and the notes with messages that you left for me.
ME: ……
Y-KO: What’s up? Your face is red.
ME: … Would you not surprise me with a dere ambush like that?
Y-KO: Sorry, can’t help ya. Making you blush is an intense pleasure of mine.
Heh-heh-heh, and your face is red as a beet, Sebas!
You’re right—it is!
But so is yours, Y-ko!
I guess you’ve forgotten that saying those corny lines makes you blush, too!
… Damn, she is too cute!
So once I had finished reading the manga edition of My Girlfriend’s a Geek, already added to Y-ko’s list of family treasures (?), she called out to me from behind.
Y-KO: Let me see that, if you’re done. I want to read it again.
ME: Hang on a minute. I want to read it again, too.
You’ve probably read it dozens of times this afternoon, haven’t you?
Y-KO: Wow, look at that! Sebas, completely engrossed in a shjo manga!
Finally… Finally my teachings have born fruit!!
ME: Say whatever you like. I’m not giving it back.
Y-KO: Boo! Give it here! That’s my family treasure!
ME: Your family treasure is my family treasure, dear.
You’ll just have to wait a little longer.
… The manga edition is seriously incredible, though.
I can definitely see why Y-ko was so pumped up!
Y-KO: ……
—Okay, done rereading.
I turned back to her and gave her the magazine.
Y-KO: … Sebas.
ME: What?
Y-KO: Say something funny, Sebas.
ME: What kind of a request is that?! Something funny?!
Y-KO: … Hmm. Yeah, that sounds like what my Sebas would respond with, too.
ME: … My Sebas? Too?
Y-KO: Well, there was a scene in Lucky Star where Konata said,
“Say something funny, Sebastian.”
ME: Huh?… So what did the Sebas say?
Y-KO: He said, “No way, I can’t!”
ME: Of course he did… So, Y-ko, why don’t you say something funny?
Y-KO: The other day, I packed my boyfriend’s Photobucket account full of BL images, but he hasn’t noticed yet because he never checks it. I’m a little bit worried, because I know he takes his laptop to his work training every single day.
ME: That is definitely not a funny story! But I want to hear any other stories you have like that! Spit them out! All of them! Or else something terrible will happen!!
Y-KO: Something terrible? What? Is someone going to get hurt?
ME: Yes, me!
Y-KO: Okay, that one was kind of funny.
Whenever you make a really goofy pose, it usually elicits a chuckle.
ME: That wasn’t for humor! I am dead serious!
Y-KO: Now, take that laptop packed full of my love, and go survive another day of your harrowing on-the-job training!
ME: I don’t want that kind of sinister, evil love!
Oh my God! It really is packed full of BL images!!
Y-KO: Love has to drive a hard bargain, Sebas.
ME: I don’t need this kind of love!
Y-KO: You’re saying you can’t accept my love?!
Even though you all but proposed to me right here and now?!
ME: Proposed…? Oh, you mean when I said that your family treasures were my family treasures?
Y-KO: … Oh, so you were aware of it?
ME: No, I just saw your face get red, and I thought, “Crap!”
Y-KO: Why didn’t you say anything after that, then?!
ME: I dunno. I got curious as to what happens next in “Sepatte Takuro.”
Y-KO: Who are you, me?! Yuiko Ameya?!
Dammit, Sebas! Make me some tea! It is now my reading time!
ME: Certainly, madam.
I picked out two matching cups and poured the boiling water.
I pulled her favorite tea bag out of the cupboard and inserted it into the cup.
I put the lid over the cup to let it steam and waited two minutes.
Y-KO: ………
ME: … What is it?
Y-KO: I was just thinking, you’re getting the hang of the tea preparation thing.
ME: Well, it’s still just tea bags.
Of course, I could practice a more traditional method if it would make you happy.
Y-KO: Mm, nah. This way is good enough…
Plus, I’ve been thinking about it, and it seems like all of my dreams have been coming true since I met you.
ME: Pardon?
Y-KO: Did you know that I’ve always wanted a Sebas-style boyfriend who would make me tea?
And just today, my dream of entering the world of manga came true.
As she said this, Y-ko pointed at the cover of the magazine in her hand.
On the cover, smiling up at me,
was the manga version of Y-ko—Yuiko Ameya.
Y-KO: And look how beautiful I am… What do I do now?
Most of my dreams in life have all come true.
ME: Really? Well, I’m happy for you.
…… If I’ve made it this far, I might as well make all your life dreams come true.
Y-KO: ……
ME: ……
Y-KO: … Would you stop making my heart beat with surprises like that?
ME: Sorry, no can do.
… I just love seeing her blush.
Y-KO: … Okay, then. I guess you will have to make them come true.
ME: Leave it to me. I can promise I’ll give all the effort I have.
Y-KO: Really?
ME: Really.
I looked into her eyes and nodded firmly.
Y-KO: And what if I told you to make me happy?
ME: I will do it.
… Wait, what? Why did I give an instant response?
She said she wanted me to make her happy, not that she wanted to be happy, right?
Was that question… what I thought it was?
Ummm…
Y-KO: … By the way.
ME: … By the way?
ME: When you say, make you happy…
Y-KO: To be more precise,
I’ve been having trouble making room for all my BL books, so I’d like you to keep some of them in your apartment, that’s all!
ME: ……
Y-KO: And if you went on a BL shopping spree and decided to fill the place with your own material, that would make me even happier!
ME: And it would make me miserable!
Y-KO: Oh, please. You know you’re happy just having me in your life.
ME: How did you know that?!
Y-KO: … How did I know? Uh, because…
ME: ……
Y-KO: Your face is red, Sebas.
ME: So is yours, Y-ko.
Happy Ending.
2007/++/++ 00:00
The stroke of midnight—the date changes.
Today is my girlfriend’s long-awaited birthday.
The present is paid for and prepared; the only question is when to hand it over.
I started by congratulating her on her lucky day.
ME: Happy birthday, my dear.
Y-KO: Mm, thanks. Alas, now the gap between us grows one year wider.
ME: Oh, only for a few months. You’ll be back to a two-year lead in a few months.
Y-KO: That’s all right for now, but what happens when I’m about to turn thirty and you’re still in your youthful twenties? Of course, I don’t really mind.
I like the sound of “younger boyfriend.” And you like older ladies, don’t you?
ME: It’s true that I have no qualms with the older women…
But it’s not like that’s my bag, y’know?
I would have fallen in love with Y-ko even if she was younger than me.
—Of course, I don’t say this stuff out loud.
But enough about that.
ME: It’s funny, you don’t really have that older woman image, though.
Y-KO: What?! Why not?!
What about me doesn’t fit the archetype?!
ME: Maybe when we first met, but not anymore…
I’m just saying, you don’t really give off that “big sister” aura…
Y-KO: … Hmph. What does that make me, then?
ME: Umm… More like a master, if anything.
Y-KO: Hmmmm. Master, huh…?
I like the ring of it! Sebas! From now on, you will call me master!
ME: What?! Is that really what you want?!
I was hoping your reaction would be more like,
“Oh no, is that how you’ve seen me all this time? I’ll do the cooking and laundry from now on!”
Y-KO: Nope, sorry. Besides, I like your cooking.
ME: …… Thank you. I like your cooking, too, though.
Y-KO: Oh, all right, then. I’ll make tomorrow’s dinner.
ME: Nope, sorry.
The date has changed, and it’s now your birthday. That means I’m cooking tonight.
Y-KO: ……
ME: … What’s up?
Y-KO: … A thought just occurred to me. You don’t want to let me cook, do you?
ME: ……
… Busted.
Laundry is one thing, but when it comes to food,
sometimes I just like to give her a bit of a hard time.
At some point in time, I realized that having someone wholeheartedly enjoy my cooking was a greater pleasure than I ever could have imagined.
Y-KO: … What are you now, a housewife?
ME: All thanks to your long and tireless training.
Y-KO: Heh… Nice one, me. But wait a second. Does that mean I no longer have the option of being that babelike older lady who’s also a killer cook?
ME: I guess that would be the case.
Y-KO: Damn… Oh well!
I guess I can try to seduce you through other avenues of attack, then!
ME: Oh? Like what?
Y-KO: Big Brother Sebas! I can’t figure out my homework. Will you help me do it?
ME: The little sister method…?
Plus, Sebas is bad enough, but Big Brother Sebas is just ludicrous.
There has to be a less surreal nickname to use.
And in the end, it’s always me doing everything!
Y-KO: It’s a question where I have to debate whether Kira is seme or uke for at least four hundred words…
ME: I’ve never even heard of such an assignment!
And even if it was real, I would never want a little sister who asked her big brother for help on it!
Y-KO: Huh? It’s the same question I asked my older brother.
……
Of course.
She would do this.
She’s a little sister with a Gundam otaku for a brother.
ME: … And I’m sure you traumatized your brother for life.
Y-KO: Actually, this is what he said:
“Save those questions for that boyfriend of yours…”
ME: Why?! Damn, I didn’t know your brother was my enemy, too!
I believed in my heart of hearts that he of all people would sympathize with me!
Y-KO: But it was just a one-sided crush all along.
ME: That’s a very misleading way to phrase that emotion.
Y-KO: Oh… was it requited?
ME: There was no love to begin with!!
And can you imagine a more disturbing love triangle?!
Your boyfriend and your older brother in love with each other.
… Why the hell am I thinking about this?
Y-KO: … Kinda hot, actually.
ME: Kinda not hot, actually! Kinda really gross!
Y-KO: But there’s still one problem.
ME: Oh, trust me, there’s well more than one problem with that…
Y-KO: Both you and my brother seem like the uke type.
ME: ……
If there’s a real problem, it’s Y-ko’s fundamental fujoshi nature…
Why are we even talking about this?
I’m in my girlfriend’s room on her birthday, and we’re talking about pos
sibly the most inappropriate topic imaginable for such an occasion.
Of course, it’s not like I haven’t grown completely used to this by now.
I’m used to it,
I enjoy it, and I’m happy with it.
No matter what the topic is, when I’m with my girlfriend, I’m happy.
The days that pass by are all incredibly precious to me.
Y-KO: —Hmm, but you know…
ME: ?
Y-KO: I’m amazed that you still love me.
ME: … What?
Y-KO: I mean, look at me. I’m not as good at cooking as I pretend…
In fact, I just let you do all of the cooking.
My boobs are small, I don’t really act my age, and I’m selfish.
Most of all—
ME: —You’re a fujoshi?
Y-KO: …… Yeah. I’m a fujoshi.
It’s weird for me to say this myself… but sometimes I get worried.
Like is it right for things to be this way?
ME: ……
Y-KO: I feel bad, but I’ll probably keep being a fujoshi, keep being selfish, and keep calling you Sebas forever.
ME: Great.
Y-KO: But because of that, I think I’ll also love you forever.
… I guess that makes it an equivalent exchange?
ME: I see.
Equivalent exchange.
It’s a phrase I’ve heard from Y-ko’s lips countless times since I began dating her,
but I never imagined it would be used in such a serious context…
Y-KO: I guess all I’m saying is, “Here’s looking at more time with you, Sebas.”
ME: Y-ko.
Y-KO: Oh, come on. It was hard for me to say all that, so don’t give me your usual snappy comebacks.
ME: Actually, I wasn’t going to snap at you… I was just going to say that, although it’s not exactly as if I’m doing this to return the favor for those nice things you just said… I have something I want to tell you, too.
And I pulled out the present I had hidden for this moment.
I put the little case into Y-ko’s hand.
—The case that held a ring fitted to her finger size.
ME: I want you to be with me forever.
Y-KO: ……
ME: ……
Y-KO: … Okay, I think pulling this stunt at a time like this is uncalled for.
ME: You think so?