Infinite Love (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘No,’ I whispered.

  ‘Yes,’ he spat back. ‘I’ll enjoy cutting that out and keeping it as a trophy. That condescending bastard will get what’s due when I catch up with him. But when I finish with you I don’t want a reminder of him, you’ll be mine. Beaten, bloodied and scarred. Whore’s don’t deserve to be pretty. I made it quick for the others, they didn’t reject me, so I showed them some mercy, but with you,’ he laughed, crazily, as I tried to keep myself from passing out, ‘I think I’m going to make you wait for me to give you want you want, an end to your suffering. Just like you’ve made me wait,’ he snarled.

  This wasn’t happening. Surely this wasn’t happening? I couldn’t be hearing or feeling what was happening to me right now, I must be hallucinating this whole sick nightmare. If I was, it was the worst and most vivid nightmare I’d ever had. I could still feel the cold of the water that had soaked my hair, face and chest, a trickle of blood rolling down my cheek from the path of the knife. My face still smarted from being smacked, while my head was pounding like a grenade had detonated inside it. The skin around my wrists felt so tender and my heart felt like it was going to run out of steam it was beating so fast. I started feeling dizzy again from breathing too quickly in my panicked state, I gulped and tried to open my eyes as I felt the heat of his breath on my face, but all I could see was a blurred mess.

  ‘Please don’t do this, please,’ I whispered as the bed spun faster and I felt bile rising in my throat again. ‘It’s not too late. Talk to me, I can help you.’

  ‘O, it’s much too late, Mia. You had your chance but you blew me off. You’re just like her, you use your pretty face and body to flirt, and worse, you dress like a whore on that stage. Then when you have us all wanting you, desperate to be noticed, you complain that we’re imagining the signals you give us and try to push us away. Well, whores like you need to be taught a lesson. I thought you were so special, Mia. No, you’re not special, I see that clearly now.’ He laughed again as I heard the clatter of the knife on a hard surface and I swallowed hard as I heard the unmistakable sound of a zip being undone. ‘You’re just going to be number seven in a long line of dirty whores that don’t know their place. I could have loved you, Mia,’ he whispered as I heard him remove his trousers. ‘I could have treated you so well. This is your fault, you brought this on yourself.’

  ‘Gabe,’ I choked, as tears started pouring uncontrollably down my face. I prayed that I was at home in bed sleeping and that hearing his name would make Gabe realise that I was stuck in this nightmare, that he’d wake me up and pull me into his arms and comfort me, but deep down I knew it was a fantasy.

  ‘Don’t say that fucking name,’ he roared as he slapped me again, making me see stars. ‘Where’s your precious bloody Gabe now? I bet he won’t even miss you, he’ll move onto someone else without even giving you a second thought.’

  ‘No!’ I cried, between quick short panicked gasps for air. I was never more sure that Gabe loved me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of what this would do to him. He’d never forgive himself. This on top of losing his mum would totally destroy him, and it was my fault because I disobeyed him. In this moment what upset me the most wasn’t the fact that I was going to be raped and maimed before I was killed, because the small rational part of my brain that was trying to make sense of this knew that my suffering would be relatively short. I would probably only last hours, or days, at most. Losing me though, I knew that would stay with Gabe forever. I couldn’t bear the thought of him suffering like that all because I’d broken his trust. ‘No,’ I sobbed.

  ‘Yes, yes, yes. Funny, just what you’ll be screaming any second now, right before I start to carve you up.’ I gulped as I heard a condom wrapper tear and started to hyperventilate as I felt Milo’s body climb on top of mine, his weight pressing me down into the old lumpy mattress beneath me.

  ‘I’m begging you,’ I whimpered.

  ‘You will be, just like all the others,’ he laughed. I could just make out his dark hair as his face approached mine and I clamped my eyes shut tightly. I knew I was going to pass out again, the wooziness in my head, the sudden dry mouth and the tremors running through my body were my advance warning. An image of Gabe’s distraught face was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

  I groaned as I felt myself coming to. I heard loads of voices yelling. Male voices. I registered that I was alone on the bed and took a pained gasp as I remembered what was happening to me as I’d passed out. I still felt sick and so confused, my wrist and ankles felt raw and the pain in my head and on my face was throbbing. I started crying again and I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, I didn’t want to see what Milo had done to me. Where was Gabe? I needed him. So badly.

  ‘No,’ I sobbed as I felt something heavy lay on top of me again.

  ‘Sssshhhh, you’re safe now. I’m Police Officer Bennett and I’ve put a blanket over you to cover you up and keep you warm. You’re going to be ok, Mia.’ The voice sounded different, reassuring and female? I felt my hand being picked up and the noise of the chains again, and one by one all my limbs suddenly felt lighter and free. I heard static, maybe the crackle of a radio. ‘I need the ambulance in here right now, it looks like she’s been drugged and she has cuts and a nasty contusion to her head.’

  ‘Gabe,’ I whimpered, willing him to magically appear as I opened my eyes and saw a fuzzy face floating above me again. I tried to say more, but nothing came out.

  ‘It’s ok Mia, you’ll see him soon. He knows that you’re safe now and he’ll meet us at the hospital.’ As I felt a hand stoke my hair, I felt oddly safe for a moment and closed my eyes taking a few deep shaky breaths as I covered my face with my trembling hands, wondering what had happened and how Gabe was going to react to this. Would he still want me after what Milo had done to me?

  I screamed at the top of my lungs and flailed my arms and legs as a bright light suddenly assaulted my eyes, snapping me out of my slumber.

  ‘Mia, Mia sweetheart, it’s ok, you’re safe now. You’re in hospital, remember? Mia, can you hear me? You’re on a drip so be careful with your arm.’

  I turned my head to see a nurse standing over me and I started sobbing as I remembered that I was in hospital. In a clean bright hospital room. Flashes of consciousness came back to me, hearing Ambulance sirens, a nice Policewoman asking if she could run a sexual assault test on me. No! A memory of being on that bed came back to me. O God, had Milo really raped me? I started howling again as it all came rushing back to me and I felt her take my hand and stroke my forehead and I jumped as the door was flung open.

  ‘Mia? It’s ok baby, I’m here. I’m sorry, I was right outside the door, I thought you were sleeping again.’ This time I recognised the voice and even though it was full of relief, it sounded like his heart was breaking.

  ‘Gabe?’ I sobbed. The nurse moved out of the way and I saw him come running to me. I didn’t even have a chance to try and sit up before he hauled my upper body into his arms and broke down on my neck. I felt his hot tears washing over my skin while my own flowed down his neck. I could vaguely recollect moments where I’d been lucid in this room, where he’d smiled down at me with a sad look on his face as he’d stroked my hair telling me I was going to be ok. I had a weird recollection of Mum and Gerry having been in here as well, Lexi too, but I must have been dreaming. Neither of us spoke and I heard the door being quietly closed and assumed that we’d been given some privacy. I couldn’t even hug Gabe back, his arms were pinning mine to my sides, but even as I cried the smell of his familiar detergent and masculine scent reassured me, I felt safe. He smelled like home. We stayed like that, with him wrapped around me, until both of us stopped crying.

  ‘Baby, I can’t believe you’re finally awake and with it. God, I’ve been going out of my mind,’ he whispered against my neck as he held me tightly.

  ‘Gabe, what’s happening?’ I whispered. ‘Milo, he … he …’

  ‘Sssshhhh, you’re safe now, no one’s ever going
to touch you again. I’m never going to let anyone ever hurt you again, Mia.’

  ‘Did … did he …’ I stalled, I couldn’t bring myself to ask. What if he’d raped me while I was unconscious? What if Gabe now saw me in a completely different light? If he was repulsed by me because I’d been tainted? He slowly let go of me and positioned me back on the pillows, tucking the sheet around me before stroking my forehead as I took panicked gasps for air.

  ‘Try and take deep breathes for me baby and stay lying down, I don’t want you passing out on me again. You kept waking up for a few minutes and then dropping off again. I’ll explain everything, but no one touched you, not sexually anyway. You’ve been in and out of it for hours, I’m not even sure you knew we were all here. You agreed to a sexual assault test, but the Police Officer asked your mum and I if it was ok to carry out as she wasn’t sure you knew what you were agreeing to, we confirmed that she could examine you. She said that there was no evidence of sexual assault and from what I’ve been told of what happened, the Police got in there and pulled him off you before he had a chance to do anything, ok?’ He smiled gently at me and clasped both of my hands in his. I nodded and gave him a half-smile of relief as I nervously chewed on my lower lip. I still felt scared and confused, but in there with those emotions was some relief to be safe, to be here with him, and to be told that I’d not been raped. I focussed on his handsome face as I lay back on the pillows. He looked so tired and stressed, and he hadn’t shaved, I’d never seen his stubble that long.

  ‘Mum’s here? How did she get here? How long have I been here? I can’t remember much. What happened to me, Gabe?’ I uttered between tears rolling down my cheeks.

  ‘Sssshhhh, take a deep breath and I’ll explain everything, ok. The important thing to remember is that you’re safe now. No one can hurt you in here and when I’ve explained everything your mum, Gerry, Georgie, Lexi and Doug are all impatiently pacing outside wanting to see you now you’re properly awake. Dad and Sofia should be here soon too, they’re flying back from New York as we speak.’

  ‘They are?’ I felt my bottom lips wobble as I watched him nod and looked at his pale drawn face. ‘You look awful. Casper the ghost awful.’

  ‘Thanks, you don’t look much better yourself,’ he laughed, then let go of one of my hands and reached up to gently run his finger down my face. I winced and he pulled a face. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Why did that hurt?’

  ‘You have a really nasty bruise and some butterfly tape on a cut on your cheek. The doctor said it’s not deep and shouldn’t scar. Do you feel up to talking? Or do you want some rest?’

  ‘No, I feel oddly awake and alert all of a sudden and I need to know what happened Gabe, please tell me.’

  ‘You’re feeling better because the nurse gave you another dose of something to counteract the Methadone that was in your system. You’ve been having regular doses, which is why you had some short lucid moments, but as the Methadone is practically out of your body now, you’re pretty much back to normal.’

  ‘Methadone?’ I looked at him puzzled.

  ‘It’s a narcotic, you were given it to keep you drugged up and compliant,’ he hung his head and shook it as his voice quavered.

  ‘Gabe please, I need to know what happened. Please tell me, my imagination’s going crazy.’

  ‘What do you remember?’

  ‘You’re going to be so mad at me if I tell you,’ I whispered. He whipped his head up to hold my gaze and squeezed my hands.

  ‘It’s done Mia, I know now that you went to see him, against my express wishes, but none of that matters now, ok? You’re here with me and you’re safe. I don’t care about that anymore.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I nodded as I bit my lip. I suddenly registered that it was dark. ‘What time is it?’

  ‘It’s seven o’clock on Friday night, you were brought to the hospital last night, but that’s bringing you in at the end of the story. What do you remember?’

  ‘You dropped me at the gym, but Milo wasn’t there so I rang him. I swear I had no idea he was this crazy Gabe, I promise you. He just sounded so upset that Jenny had broken up with him, so I got a taxi to his house. He told me that Dan was there, I wouldn’t have gone if I’d known I was going to be alone with him, I promise. He was drunk, I found out that he’d lied about Dan being in the house and he was acting really weird, so I freaked and ran out of the house to stand outside where someone would hear me scream if he did anything. I was waiting by his gate looking for the taxi at the end of the street and then … then …’ I snatched my hands away from Gabe’s and covered my eyes and took a deep breath as I remembered the cold air, the palm sealing over my mouth, the horrible choking sensation as his arm tightened around my neck. ‘He … he grabbed me from behind and I remember blacking out. How could he do this to me, Gabe? I thought he was my friend, he was one of my best friends and all this time he was killing all of those girls. He had me chained to a bed. He was going to kill me.’ I started crying again as the terror of lying on that bed hit me full force. Gabe pulled my hands away and held them tightly in his.

  ‘No he wasn’t, Mia,’ he said quietly as his thumbs caressed the backs of them. I sniffed and looked at him confused.

  ‘I don’t understand, Gabe. I woke up feeling really ill and he was saying really horrible things, nasty things about me being a whore and deserving what was going to happen to me. He had me chained to some sort of bed and was going … he was going to rape me,’ I whispered as I lowered my eyes, too ashamed to look at him.

  ‘No he wasn’t.’

  ‘I’m not lying, Gabe,’ I uttered as I pulled my hands out of his. ‘Look, look at my wrists they’re all scratched and red raw from where he cuffed me. My feet were as well. He said he was going to fuck me because I was a brunette whore and then cut up my face with a knife he held to it. I was sick, I was so scared I was physically sick and it made him really mad because he had to go and get water to throw on me to clean me up. He was going to hurt me Gabe, Milo was going to hurt me, rape me and kill me, just like all those other girls.’ I started shaking as tears poured down my face again and I clutched my arms tightly around myself.

  ‘Milo would never have hurt you, Mia,’ Gabe said softly as he caressed my arm, I jerked it away from his touch.

  ‘I’m not making this up!’ I yelled, bolting upright, suddenly feeling angry. I shook my head as I went all dizzy from the sudden movement. ‘Why don’t you believe me?’

  ‘I know you’re not lying, everything you remember happened, except it wasn’t Milo baby.’ He reached up and palmed my cheek as he looked at me sadly. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I felt on the verge of passing out again.

  ‘It wasn’t … Milo?’ I whispered in disbelief.

  ‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘Milo was in love with you Mia, he’d never have done that to you. I may not have liked him, but I know now that he could never have hurt you, any more than I could.’

  ‘How do you know? How did I get away?’

  ‘You didn’t get away, you were found. Let me explain what happened before you get yourself all upset again, you’ve been through a horrific ordeal and I want to reassure you that traumatic as it was, your face and cuff bruises are the extent of your physical injuries, ok?’

  ‘You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?’ I sniffed as I wiped my eyes on my hospital gown sleeve.

  ‘Have I ever lied to you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I never will, Mia. You can see the Police reports later if you want reassurance, but I’m going to tell you what I know, ok? Just drink some water for me first and lie back, you look so pale, baby.’ He held up a glass to my lips and helped me gently sip it, before taking it away and lifting up my wrists and kissing the bruises and dressings around them. I shuddered as I looked at them, fuzzy memories of lying on that bed battering my senses. I didn’t resist when Gabe gently lay me back down.

  ‘Gabe, please stop stalling, I need to know.�
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  ‘You were put in a carotid artery choke hold which made you black into unconsciousness, then you were injected with Methadone to keep you drowsy and out of it for a few hours, carried to a car, and driven to an abandoned factory where you were put on an old hospital bed and chained up.’

  ‘How do you know all of this? Who was it if it wasn’t Milo? I was standing outside his house, right by the front door, I only looked around to see if the taxi had come to get me and that’s when …’ I broke off. He had to be lying to me. It had to be Milo who’d attacked me.

  ‘Last week Doug told me that Milo had come onto you at the Halloween party.’

  ‘He what?’ I exclaimed and what did that have to do with all of this? I felt so drained and confused.

  ‘It’s done Mia, I know that you didn’t encourage him and I never said anything because I was so fucking angry that I didn’t want to lose it and take it out on you. I never liked him, I never trusted the guy around you … I really never did,’ he laughed as he shook his head and I frowned, none of this was making any sense. ‘I hired Mason, the private investigator, to look into him and tail him, hoping to get something on him to convince you to stay away from him. I knew me simply telling you not to see him wouldn’t work, I needed proof that he was up to no good. You have no idea how hard it was for me that night, leaving you at the gym to meet him, knowing what I knew about him wanting you. Christ … I shouldn’t have let you go … I should never have let you go. I should have refused to let you see him, if I had …’ he stalled and wiped away the tears filling his eyes.

  ‘Gabe don’t, please don’t. I should have been honest with you about what I was doing, but I was so worried how you’d react and I didn’t want to upset you, but my friend needed me. I still don’t understand what this has to do with what happened to me though?’