Something Real

by Ariadne Wayne

  At least it wasn’t serious.

  We all cuddled up on the couch in front of the television, a boy on each side of me, and did nothing for the rest of the day but relax. The boys would have to be home tomorrow too, as both day-care and school had rules around returning after being sick.

  Thomas fell asleep first, and by the time I tucked him into bed and came back, Jack was asleep. My poor babies needed their sleep, and so did I. When Jack was in bed, I opened the laptop and then closed it again. My eyes already tired; I didn’t want the screen to contribute to the strain.

  I’ll take a look in the morning.

  * * *

  I’d forgotten to turn the alarm off, and it was screaming at me while I tried to find the ‘off’ button with my eyes closed.

  Cartoony sounds came from the living room, and I knew the boys were up and feeling better before I’d even seen them. Sure enough, they were lying on the floor with their pillows and blankets glued to SpongeBob.

  “Morning, you two. Feeling better?”

  “Yes,” Jack said. Thomas nodded.

  “That’s good. You have to stay home today, and we’ll have showers and make ourselves not feel so yuck and sick. Sound good?”

  I spent the day changing the beds, washing the linen and the boys, and spending time with them while I could. It wasn’t until late afternoon that things went a little crazy.

  Coffee beckoned in the kitchen, and I stared at the wall while I boiled the water. Holy crap, my book. I’d almost forgotten about it.

  I poured the coffee and sat at the table, expecting to maybe see a handful of sales if any. What I saw made me shriek.

  It was selling, selling beyond my wildest dreams. The sales graph had steadily climbed overnight. I’d never seen anything like it.

  I couldn’t breathe for crying. This was it. It was our way out of the financial hole we were in. I could build up our nest egg.

  “Mum, are you okay?” Jack and Thomas were by my sides, and I turned around so I could gather them both in my arms and into a big hug.

  “I’m pretty damn wonderful, you guys.”

  “What happened?” Jack asked.

  “Just good stuff. Only good stuff from now on. Now, I need to get dinner on and maybe we can go out to the park before it gets dark to get some fresh air.”

  Thomas’s eyes widened. “Really?”

  “Sure thing.”

  “Can Logan come?”

  I looked at my youngest child, his eyes so full of hope that his new best friend would come with us. My stomach churned. I hadn’t seen him since the night before last; what if he didn’t want to talk to me? How would that effect Thomas?

  I’d let him into our lives, and been mean to him, as my boys would say.

  I had to find a way to make it up to him. For Thomas’s sake, and for my own. My heart ached over the end of our last conversation.

  We got our things together once we’d eaten, and I took a look over the balcony as we went outside. His car wasn’t there.

  “Can we knock on the door?” Thomas asked.

  “Sure thing, buddy. Just don’t be too disappointed if he’s not there. His car’s gone.”

  Thomas ran the rest of the way to Logan's door, pounding on it. When there was no answer, and he pouted. “Maybe next time?” I ventured.

  He nodded, enthusiastically. “I want to go on the biiiiig slide.”

  “You can go on it a couple of times. We’ll have to be quick; it’ll be dark soon.”

  They played until we’d wrung every last bit of light out of the day, and we headed back as evening fell, all of us nearly asleep on our feet. My mind kept returning to my book, and part of me wanted so badly to race home and take another look, but the fresh air was doing us all so much good.

  Logan’s car was parked in his spot when we came in the car park. The boys were still laughing and joking, and we made our way slowly up the stairs with me telling them to quieten down. We got to the door and I fumbled with the key.

  “What are you doing out in the dark? It’s not safe.”

  Logan’s voice out of nowhere made me jump, that damn light not working on the balcony leaving me without warning that he was there.

  “We were at the park, and stayed a little later than I meant to,” I said. Slotting the key in the lock, I turned it and the boys tumbled inside. I flicked the switch in the living room on and light flooded the balcony.

  “Well, don’t. This isn’t the worst area in town, but it’s not the best area either. I don’t want anything happening to you.” There wasn't a hint of friendly, flirting Logan in his tone, just irritation.

  Was he really growling at me? Apart from our growing friendship, it wasn’t really any of his business, and he was really beginning to rub me up the wrong way.

  “I’m fine. Jack and Thomas are fine. Don’t worry about us.”

  He sighed, moving into the light, and ran his fingers through his hair. “I am going to worry while you’re under my watch.”

  Oh.

  “Under your watch?”

  “You do live right next door, and it’s not like we haven’t been getting to know one another.”

  I took a deep breath. I was doing it again. He shows an interest, I act all bitchy. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to dismiss your concern. I’ve just had a really long day. The boys have had some stomach bug and we’ve been home a couple of days. I think we all just got cabin fever.”

  He looked pained, his face downturned in empathy. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope from that giggling that they’re better.”

  I nodded. “They are, and I didn’t pick it up, so there’s that.”

  He gave me the smallest of smiles. “I’m happy to hear that. Wouldn’t want you feeling ill. I’m glad you’re safe, Olivia.”

  “Thank you for checking on us.”

  He turned to walk back to his place. “Logan?”

  Half in the dark, I could see his eyes shining. “Yes?”

  “Last time we saw each other, I wasn’t very nice. I’m sorry. The last person I want to drive out of my life is you.”

  He chuckled. “As if that’s going to happen.”

  My heart did that skip-a-beat thing where I think I’m going to pass out, and I gulped at those little words and the meaning they could hold. Maybe. If I was reading him that way.

  When the boys were in bed, I opened up the computer and nearly passed out. The sales hadn’t stopped, and I swear I could see the future. A future where we could be in a little house again, with a garden, and a room each for my boys. I mean, you do what you have to do when you don’t have much, but everyone dreams of something better.

  I didn’t need to earn a huge amount to achieve my dreams. A couple of thousand dollars extra a month would go a very long way. It would move us from the having enough money to live to being able to enjoy ourselves a little.

  Maybe this was a one-off; maybe I’d never do this well again, but for the moment I was on top of the world.

  I wasn’t really all that surprised at the knock on the door.

  Rebecca stood on the other side. “I’m so sorry I don’t have any wine this time, but I had to see you. I’ve been online all day watching your book.”

  I didn’t care about the no-wine thing. I was just so glad I had Rebecca with me to celebrate. It felt so good to find a friend after the whole Donna experience.

  “You know I’m going to be a zombie at work tomorrow,” I said.

  “You and me both. Do you really think I’m going home to sleep? I’ll be watching your damn book rank.”

  That she cared so much warmed my heart. “Thank you. Thank you for everything,” I said.

  Rebecca slid her arm around my shoulders, squeezing me. “You’re welcome. You’ve been through a shitty time; it’s nice to see some good things happening for you. And this is a fantastic thing. I’m so proud.”

  When she was gone I sat in front of the computer and took a deep breath. Logan may not know he was responsible for the lon
ging and desire I conveyed on the page, but the rest of the world would. Even if they didn't know who he really was.

  I opened the blog page and started to type.

  Today has been one of the best days of my life. You are all so amazing and supportive, and I love the reviews that are coming in.

  This will just be a short blog post. It’s late and I’m tired. Not that I’ll sleep.

  I want to say thank you so much to Rebecca. She reads my words and makes them make sense. I am so lucky to have found her.

  And most of all …

  I stared at the screen. Should I name him? Oh hell, no one knew who I was. Now was the chance for me to say just how I felt without embarrassing myself.

  Thank you to Logan. You are my inspiration. My knight in shining armour. Though I may only admire you at a distance, you are what made my story what it is. A story of love.

  My palms were sweaty as I pressed post and I sat for a moment, closing my eyes and thinking about him.

  How stupid, crushing on someone like this. I’m supposed to be a grown-up.

  Closing the laptop, I stood and sighed. All this excitement and no one to share it with.

  I didn’t mean like Rebecca. That was great, but it wasn’t the same as having a partner, a companion to share my life with.

  I missed Evan. Although, it wasn’t him I missed. There was no way I wanted him back, even if there was any future opportunity. He’d burned his bridges there. I missed having someone to snuggle up in bed with, even if they weren’t always there. I missed there just being a warm body beside me. I just missed someone.

  Then again, I also couldn’t let just anyone into my life. They had to be approved by Jack and Thomas, and I wasn’t about to introduce them to any random person. Logan was different. Logan had become a part of our lives due to his proximity.

  I wished he were even closer.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I took Friday off. I had some leave owing and a long weekend sounded wonderful, especially if I could get a little time to myself.

  Dropping the boys off at school and day-care, I stopped to grab some groceries and headed back home. I’d thrown on sweat pants and a T-shirt, not really caring about appearances. Soon I’d have a little money to buy new clothes. It had been so long since I’d done that.

  I pulled into the car park, parking next to Logan’s Holden. I looked at it curiously—normally he was gone in the morning before I left. Guess he’s having a day off too.

  Grabbing the bags out the back, I started up the stairs.

  “Well, look who else is taking a day off.” Logan stood in his doorway, watching as I came onto the landing.

  “I fancied a long weekend.”

  He gave me a most affectionate look, one that made me warm from my head to my toes. Even with my raggy old clothing.

  “Me too. I’ve got a friend coming over for a visit. You look comfortable, anyway; I would never have guessed you weren’t going to work.”

  I laughed. “I’ll have you know this is the height of fashion.”

  “Doesn’t matter what you wear. You’d look gorgeous in a sack.” My heart raced and my face grew hot. This whole being friends things sucked so bad, but I didn’t know if he really wanted me or was just teasing. “Although, I still think you should wear those shorts more often.”

  He licked his lips. Oh crap. I bit down on my bottom lip and shook my head. “I’m way too old to wear those. Besides, the boys tease me that my butt hangs out of them.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” He shrugged, and I pushed at his shoulder, laughing.

  His focus shifted somewhere behind me and he straightened up, cocking an eyebrow at whoever was behind me. I turned. Oh great, another gorgeous blonde.

  A blonde with a very new baby in her arms.

  “I’m Maddy,” the blonde said, smiling at me. She rocked the baby on her shoulder, and rolled her eyes at Logan. “You’re so rude, Logan. Invite us in.”

  He grinned. “When did you ever need an invite? Did you turn into a vampire or something?”

  I laughed, and the corners of her lips quirked as she tried to hide her amusement.

  “I was being polite. Do you know how to be?”

  Logan shook his head, shifting his focus to me. “Excuse me, Liv, apparently I have a couple of guests. Maddy, this is Olivia.”

  The baby let out a loud squawk and Maddy rolled her in her arms, stroking her little face. “Sorry, monkey. Are you hungry?”

  My heart swelled as I looked at the baby. My boys were once that small, and I’d held them in my arms, taking in the scent of them. I realised I was staring a little too much and drew my gaze away. What's wrong with me? If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was clucky.

  “This is Carly,” she said, smiling at me.

  Little Carly waved her arms and legs, gazing up at her mother with big blue eyes.

  “May I?” I asked, reaching a hand out to stroke the blonde fluff on her head.

  Maddy nodded, and I ran my finger up the tiny person’s face, revelling in the softness of her hair under my skin. “She’s beautiful.”

  Maddy beamed. “I’m rather partial to her.” She looked over at Logan. “Got somewhere for me to sit?”

  “Go on in, Maddy. You know you’re always welcome.”

  “It was nice meeting you,” she said as she sashayed her way past him and into his apartment. For a woman who had apparently given birth recently, she looked amazing in her short skirt.

  “She seems nice,” I said.

  “She is.”

  Is that your child? No, you said you'd never leave your family, it can't be. What’s the connection? Oh good grief, Olivia, this isn’t any of your business.

  “Maddy and her husband live in your old house,” he said.

  Now it was my turn to lift an eyebrow, and a chance to satisfy my curiosity. “What? How do you know that, and how do you know her?”

  “She was my girlfriend once upon a time. We kept the friendship after we broke up, but we’re not as close as we used to be. Not now she’s married with a kid. Your ex turned up on their doorstep one morning looking for you, must have been just before he turned up here. She was worried he might do something stupid, tracked you to here, and realised you were right next door to me.'”

  I nodded, not knowing what else to say. Was that why he was so protective? Was it to take care of me, or reassure his friend that I was safe?

  “I should go. Madam will be expecting coffee.”

  He held my gaze, his lips snaking into a smile, one of those smiles that made my heart race. “We’ll talk later. Hopefully you’ll have taken my advice. You’re far too beautiful to hide yourself away.”

  My stomach lurched as he turned and walked to his door.

  He thinks I’m beautiful? A stark thought hit me. No one’s ever said I’m beautiful.

  The urge to write hit me like a tsunami, my head swirling with ideas. If only I could tell him just how much he inspired me.

  Maybe one day.

  I stared at his closed door door. Would I ever get brave enough to tell him? Would he ever do anything beyond the flirting? We were such good friends—would this ever become more than that? Or was I just destined to watch other women come and go while he joked with me?

  I hammered out a couple of thousand words in a frantic writing sprint, and then with no kids around, I made the most of their absence, cleaning the apartment. The temperature in the living room was about a million degrees, so I opened the door to let some fresh air in.

  The tiny breeze that flowed through made it slightly better, and I left the door open while I went back to vacuum cleaning.

  I don’t know how long he stood watching me, but out of the corner of my eye, I realised Logan was there. He stood in the doorway, resting on arm one the frame and peeking in. As he pointed at the vacuum, I flicked it off, curious about what he wanted.

  “Hey. Um, this might sound a bit random, but I have a party to go to on Saturday. One of my work
suppliers. Thought you might like to come with me.”

  I gulped. He was asking me out?

  “I … umm …”

  “Relax. It’s not a date or anything, I just got a plus-one invite, and I thought you could do with a night out. I mean, the boys and work keep you pretty busy, and you seem quite the recluse at times.”

  My mouth was dry, and I licked my lips trying to think how to answer. What was I doing? There was only one reply.

  “I can’t. I don’t have anyone to look after the boys.”

  “I’m sure Maddy could babysit.”

  I shook my head. “My boys don’t know her.”

  “Yet.”

  I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Logan, it’s really nice that you asked me, and I appreciate the gesture. But it’s just a lot to ask. They’re still all over the place after the upheaval, and …”

  “And their mother should stop making excuses. Come on, Liv. A night out—get dressed up, have a few drinks, live a little.”

  This was more tempting than I could say. I’d never really been on a date. Not that this was a date. It was just a thing that Logan needed a partner for. Of course he couldn’t take Maddy with him. Not with her married and with a young child. I guess it made sense for him to ask the next best thing.

  “Fine. But I want her to come around and meet the boys before we go. Get to know them a little before I head out the door.”

  He grinned, those perfect teeth all on display. God, he’s gorgeous. “She’s just left, but I’ll call her now. Make sure she’s available. They live a pretty quiet life now Carly’s here, so hopefully she’s not doing anything else.”

  I exhaled for what felt like the first time in forever as he walked away. A night out with Logan? Holy crapballs. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t a date—just spending time with him was enough to quench my thirst for him.

  Whoa. Where did that come from?

  I clasped my hands together tightly, closing my eyes.