Something Real

by Ariadne Wayne

  “That’s the aim. You’ll never forget me.”

  I shook my head, laughing. This was better than any party, and more like a real date, despite the lack of romantic setting.

  “I’ve got a magic trick,” I said.

  Logan rolled his eyes. “Show me.”

  Opening my mouth wide, I crammed the rest of the burger in, holding my hands in the air and humming a ‘ta-da’ noise.

  I’m sure the people around us thought we were nuts, but he laughed with me, and it was wonderful.

  The beach was a different story. The sand was soft beneath my feet. We tracked footprints down the beach as we walked off the huge burger meals we’d eaten. The sun went down, and we never went beyond holding hands. But that was fine with me. He was with me because he wanted to be. Not because he was obligated to.

  I’d never felt more free.

  “We should bring the boys down here,” he said. “Bring some buckets, build some sandcastles.”

  That he would think of them now touched me more than I could say.

  “They’d love it. There's so much I want to do with them when we have both the time and the energy."

  We stopped back in front of the car, and he held my hands in his, squeezing them gently.

  “You’re not alone, Liv. Don’t ever forget that.”

  We leaned against the bonnet as the sun disappeared and the sky grew dark.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  I turned my head to see his gaze on me again. “What do you want to know?”

  “Do you have anyone else who helps with the kids? I mean, you never have anyone over that I’ve seen other than Rebecca, and you just do so much.”

  I shrugged. “Nope. Just me. Mum kicked me out when I got pregnant with Jack.”

  He frowned. “Seriously?”

  “Yep. And I lost the family friends in the divorce. Not that I can get divorced. Yet.”

  He sighed. “Man, that sucks.”

  “Yeah it does. You have to be separated for two years. Can you believe it? I think I should get time off for good behaviour.” I laughed, pushing myself off the car.

  “No. I meant that you’re by yourself. I have my mother at least.”

  I turned and looked at him. “You’re not likely to have been a pregnant teenage girl though.”

  He chuckled. “No, but I don’t think Mum would have thrown either my brother or I out if we’d come home with a pregnant teenage girl.”

  “I guess I was just special.”

  "You are special."

  I grinned. "Not that special. Don't you have a thing for blondes?"

  He smirked, cocking one eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

  "Kat, Maddy, need I go on?"

  "Are you jealous, Olivia Grant?"

  I shook my head.

  "You shouldn't be. Recently I've had a hankering for a certain brunette."

  What I really needed right then and there was a fan to cool my burning face. A bucket of cold water might have worked as an alternative.

  Logan moved toward me, his face inches from mine. “Let’s get you home.”

  “It’s still early.” I didn't want him to take me home, I wanted every second I could get like this.

  “What do you suggest we do, Ms Grant?”

  I shuffled closer, leaning against him. “I don’t know.”

  “It’s 9pm. Don’t you turn into a pumpkin or something if you don’t go home?” He teased me, waggling his eyebrows.

  I laughed, remembering Rebecca calling me Cinderella.

  “We can take the scenic route home, around the bays and back again. It's a nice drive.” Logan suggested.

  I nodded. At least we’d be together.

  The car ride nearly put me to sleep—that and the small amount of alcohol I’d had plus carb overload. This was bliss, Logan by my side as we drove the twisty road along the beachfront. And that sea air was so soothing. I hadn’t relaxed in so long, I’d forgotten what it was like.

  “Happy?” he asked.

  “Very.”

  “I’m glad.”

  I sat back in the seat, resting my head on the gorgeous leather. I’d never felt so spoilt and lucky. The worst twist in my life had led to the very best.

  Miles away, I didn’t even click that we’d arrived home until the car stopped. Logan got out and came around to open my door, helping me out with a touch of his hand. This time I didn’t want to let go.

  “Let’s get you home to your babies,” he said.

  We walked up the stairs hand in hand, and as we got to the doorway, he raised one of my hands to his lips, with that shit-eating grin on his face I’d come to love. My heart ached as I watched him, and as he cast his eyes over me again, that self-conscious feeling began to grow.

  “Thank you for tonight, Liv. It was great having you with me.”

  “Thank you for inviting me. I had fun.”

  His eyes were so warm and welcoming. Kiss me.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself." He gazed at me, a tiny smile on his face, his head gently nodding. "I suppose I’d better let you get in to check on the boys.”

  Don’t let go of my hand, don’t let go, don’t let …

  He gently placed my hand by my side, slowly moving his away, his fingers lingering on my skin.

  I love you.

  Shit.

  Did I say that out loud?

  I breathed out really loudly as I realised I hadn’t. Thank heavens for that. Crisis averted. Tonight had been fun, but I wasn’t like those gorgeous creatures I'd seen with him. I couldn't make him fall in love with me.

  Retract back into shell and step into the apartment.

  “Goodnight, Olivia.”

  He leaned over, brushing his lips against mine before I could stop him. Wait. What? I didn’t want to stop him. I wanted him to keep going.

  Holy shit. Get it together.

  “Go inside. I want to make sure you’re safe.” Oh. My. God. He was perfect.

  My cheeks were burning, and for once I was glad the light between our apartments was broken so I could hide in the shadow.

  “Goodnight, Logan,” I whispered, sliding the key in the lock. Slipping inside the door, I closed it quietly behind me, exhaling really loudly.

  I’d completely forgotten Maddy was there, and she looked up at me, grinning at the sight of my discomfort.

  “So. Did you kiss him?”

  “What?”

  “Logan. Did you kiss him? Because you look like either he kissed the crap out of you, or you're running scared. You really like him, don’t you?” The words came flowing out as if she’d practiced them. I knew I didn’t have a poker face, but I didn’t think I was quite that open.

  “Maddy, I …”

  She waved her hand. “Relax. I’m not going to tell him. It was written all over your face, though. He likes the crap out of you.”

  I actually thought my heart was about to explode. She’d just confirmed everything I was beginning to think.

  “We’re good friends,” I said, nodding, moving towards the couch. As if I was going to confide in his ex-girlfriend.

  “No, he really likes you. Seriously, Olivia, you should give him a shot. He’d be in like a rat up a drainpipe if you gave him a chance. And he is good in bed. I mean, exceptional. He’d make you forget all about Mr Jerkoff-Turn-Up-On-Other-People’s-Doorstep ex.” She bit down on her bottom lip, eyeing me nervously. “Oh, shit. I’ve said far too much. That’s not like me, I swear. Okay, maybe it is, but don’t tell Logan I told you any of it.”

  Well, this wasn't uncomfortable at all. Speaking with someone who had seen Logan naked, shared a bed with him. No this was really freaking uncomfortable and Maddy was completely oblivious. What?

  Carly was asleep on the floor, and Maddy picked her up gently, grabbing her bag from the couch. “The boys were great. They sat and played with Carly—well, picked up her toys while she smiled at them. They watched some cartoons and then went to bed.”

  “Tha
nk you so much,” I whispered.

  “It was no problem at all. I left you my number on the fridge too. Any time you need a break, or want to go anywhere, call me. I don’t have much of a social life right now, so I’m always available to babysit. And if there’s ever any time I can’t, maybe my husband can."

  She stood, and I couldn’t think of anything else to do but hug her, leaving a space for little Carly of course.

  “Sorry if I butted in like that. I’ve just been holding that in all night, and seeing you walk in the door helped me put the pieces together,” she said.

  “Thank you for everything,” I said. Thank you for all of it, however much of it is true.

  She walked to the door, turning and smiling before opening it. Logan stood on the other side, that grin back on his face again, and I think my heart beat about three million beats per minute wondering if he’d heard what she’d said.

  “Give a girl a fright,” Maddy said.

  “I thought I’d better wait and walk you to your car. I don’t want anything happening to you, and I’m pretty sure Andrew would kill me if it did.”

  His gaze locked with mine over her head, and I saw another emotion pass over his face. Longing?

  You’ve been writing too much romantic stuff. Stop imagining things.

  “Goodnight again, Liv.” He smiled a tiny smile, and I held my breath remembering what Maddy had said. Exceptional in bed.

  “Night.”

  Maddy closed the door behind her, nodding at me with a smile as she did so, and I flung myself down onto the couch. My breathing became ragged at the thought of him, his hands on me, his mouth on me. In all my life I’d never wanted anything so much.

  I sat for a moment, squeezing my hands together before reaching for the laptop. My muse had given me so much without even knowing.

  One day I’ll tell you everything.

  Chapter Seventeen

  We were lying together, my back to his chest. His arms enveloped me protectively, wrapping me up, claiming my body. His lips grazed my neck as his hand slid between my legs, touching me until I was a shuddering, whimpering mess.

  I was his.

  I woke to the phone ringing beside the bed and rolled over, flopping my arm onto the bedside cabinet to pick it up.

  “Hello?”

  “Olivia Grant?”

  A voice far too chirpy for this hour of the morning was on the other end of the line. I opened one eye and looked at the clock. 8.35am. The boys were probably settled in front of the TV watching Sunday-morning cartoons.

  “Yes?”

  “My name is Rachel Peterson. I’m a reporter for the Central Star. I was wondering if we could have a chat.”

  “What on earth for?”

  “I’d like to talk to you about your books.”

  My blood ran cold. No way did I want to talk publicly about them. I wasn’t embarrassed by what I’d written, but I’d kept it so quiet.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t really want to talk about them.”

  “But you’ve done so well with this one. And I read your blog post about your inspiration. I’d love to get to the bottom of it, maybe even meet this man you rave about.”

  The size of the knot in my stomach was only exceeded by the knot in my throat. What had I really expected? People had to know some time, but not in this way. This should be my choice.

  “I’m not interested, sorry.”

  “I’ll leave you my number if you change your mind.”

  “I won’t.”

  I hung up the phone and sat up, my chest aching. I shivered all over. How had she tracked me down? There must be a trail leading back to me. I knew that when I was setting everything up, but I’d kept myself to myself.

  Oh well, I’d told her I wasn’t interested. Now she could leave me alone and let me get on with my life.

  * * *

  The week ticked by slowly, and apart from small glimpses of each other coming and going, Logan and I hadn’t had a chance to catch up and talk about the previous weekend. Either he was really busy at work, or he was avoiding me. Apparently my imagination chose the latter. And I was still thinking about that damn phone call.

  “You look miserable,” Rebecca said. I’d been staring into space for at least half an hour with no motivation, my mind going back to the call.

  “I’m fine. Just have a few things going on.”

  She walked around my desk, perching on the corner. “This might seem a bit random, but I go to the gym most lunchtimes. I wondered if you wanted to hang out? I realised that you might have found a new hobby with your writing, but it just keeps you indoors more. To feed your mind, you have to feed your body.”

  She grinned as I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know, I’ve never been into exercise. Besides, I don’t have any clothes for it.”

  “I've got a spare shirt and shorts that I'm sure will fit you, and I know you have your sneakers on. Come on, we can hang out on the treadmills and perve on the bodybuilders.”

  “Rebecca, I don’t know …”

  “Come on, Olivia. Live a little. Do something different.”

  She wasn’t going to leave me alone. I loved it as much as I hated it. “Fine, I’ll come with you.”

  “Good girl.” She patted my hand. “I’ll see you out at reception at twelve on the dot.”

  Nothing like a spontaneous change of direction for the day.

  Two hours later, Grace sat at the reception desk, frowning at us disapprovingly. Rebecca already had her gym gear on, but I was still dressed in my normal skirt and blouse. I didn’t know what Grace’s problem was; she didn’t seem to like anything.

  “I don’t know if I want to do this,” I said.

  Rebecca shook her head. “You’re not getting out of it that easily, Ms Grant. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  Reluctantly I followed her out to her car, and we drove just down the road, stopping outside a gym.

  “Seriously? You drive here? We could have walked,” I said, confused.

  “When we’ve worked out and your legs are aching, you’ll thank me.”

  Inside, Rebecca handed me a shirt and shorts and I changed, stuffing my clothing in a locker. She was right, this would help get rid of some cobwebs, a little exercise never hurt anyone. It wasn't like she had asked me to run a marathon.

  We walked out to the rows of exercise machines. They all looked brand new, and I was almost afraid to touch them.

  After a quick rundown by a staff member, I eyed up the treadmill. I hadn’t exercised since compulsory physical education classes during the last year of school. The ones that doubled as sex education classes, such as they were. Clearly I’d failed at that.

  I pressed the buttons on the treadmill, setting it for a fairly sedate walk. No point in jumping in at some advanced level I couldn’t keep up with. If I enjoyed this, maybe I could make it a more regular thing.

  After a few minutes, I sped it up a little. That was more like it. It still wasn’t that fast, but I soon started to build up a sweat. This was good, as if all the tension in my body was breaking out and I could just relax.

  “Psst.” Rebecca made a sound next to me, and I turned my head toward her. She nodded behind her. “That guy is checking you out.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. You’re between me and him. It’s probably you he’s looking at.”

  She leaned forward and I glanced past her, accidentally making eye contact with the man she was talking about. He was lifting free weights, and smiled as our eyes met. I couldn’t see his eye colour, but he had muscles for Africa. Holy cow.

  Going back to look at the treadmill, my concentration was broken, and I stole another glance, almost forgetting what I was doing.

  It all happened really quickly. I tripped over my own two feet, landing face first on the treadmill controls with a loud bang. The electronic tag linking me with the treadmill pulled away and the treadmill came to a grinding halt, me on my knees, and Rebecca gasping in horror as I tried to stand from the kneeling position
I now found myself in.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, turning off the treadmill she was on and rushing to help me up.

  “Pretty sure I’ve given myself a black eye, but I think I’m okay.”

  The staff were there in seconds, and I was led out the back to be examined and given first aid. So much of it was a daze, my head still fuzzy from the impact of the fall. How embarrassing.

  And as Rebecca led me to the changing room to shower and dress, she laughed as we passed back through the gym.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  She nudged my arm and I looked up. The guy who had been looking at me winked as we passed.

  Thanks for the concern.

  The shower water felt soothing, warm, but I couldn’t stay in for long.

  “I’ll take you home,” Rebecca called.

  “I still have to get the boys. Just take me back to work.”

  Towelling my hair, I gingerly dried my forehead. It was painful to touch, and I sighed when I saw my reflection. The bruise extended from just below my hairline to my cheekbone on one side. It was red and blotchy. That was going to come up a treat.

  "We can try to cover it with make up," Rebecca said, stroking my hair.

  "That will just be great. Like I have something to hide. My boys are going to think I’ve been fighting,” I said.

  “They’ll love it. They’ll think it’s some type of war wound.”

  I hated to admit that she was right.

  Sure enough, Jack screeched when he saw me. “Mum, who did you fight?”

  I laughed. “I knew you would think that. No one. I had an accident. Wasn’t looking what I was doing.”

  “Oh.” His face fell in disappointment.

  “How about we order pizza when we get home? I don’t feel like cooking, and I don’t really want to show too many people this.”

  He laughed. “That sounds great, Mum.”

  Thank God it was Friday.

  * * *

  I wiped the pizza sauce from Thomas’s face, and he frowned, looking at my bruise.

  “Can’t we wipe that off, Mum?”

  Shaking my head, I smiled. “No, sweetie. It’s got to go away by itself. I’ve got some things I can do to help it, but it’ll be there for a little while.”