Something Real

by Ariadne Wayne

  Standing, I turned toward the door. Logan had gone again, back to the kitchen I assumed, and when I came back out Logan was sitting at the table, his cup in his hands, and there was a matching one sitting on the other side of the table for me.

  “Made you a hot chocolate.”

  “You’re so sweet.” I sat down and yawned. I was more tired than I thought I’d been too.

  “Tonight was good, huh?”

  I took a sip and nodded. “It was great. I can see what you mean about Maddy adoring Andrew. Those two are so cute together.”

  He grinned. “You and Maddy get on great. It’s nice that two of the women who mean the most to me are becoming friends.”

  I cupped my face in my hands as I leaned on the table. His eyes narrowed. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but …”

  “Oh. Shit. You hate her. She is really pushy, and she talks way too much at times.”

  I raised my head and shook it, smirking at him. “Logan, she’s fine. Really lovely, actually. I don’t have any problem with her.”

  He nodded. “Okay …”

  “It’s just weird becoming friends with your ex. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but my husband did run off with my best friend.”

  Logan came around the table, squatting beside me. “You know there’s nothing like that between us, don’t you? Hasn’t been for ages. And she has Andrew. Those two are freaking soul mates, if there is such a thing.”

  I clamped my lips together, looking at the floor. “I know, and maybe I’m being silly. I like Maddy. It’ll just take a while to adjust to having her around and knowing that you and her used to—”

  I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence as Logan kissed me, his tongue finding mine as he soothed my fears with a touch. I might have felt a bit weird about Maddy, but I knew how Logan felt about me, and I had zero reason to think he would ever play around behind my back.

  “I think it’s bedtime,” he whispered, kissing me softly under my ear.

  Nodding, I let him take my hand as he stood, leading me to the bedroom.

  I don’t think I’d ever been happier in all my life.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I woke with him spooning against me, one arm slid under my neck and the other over my waist. The hand he had free was between my legs, inside my panties, and making me gasp.

  I lifted the hem of my nightgown. “Come on then, just a quick one before I have to get the kids out of bed.”

  Logan pulled me roughly onto my back. “Don’t you get it, Liv? I never want just a quick one with you.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t have much time in the mornings to muck around.”

  He kissed me, long and deep, making my skin tingle with excitement. Every nerve in my body instantly awoke.

  Hooking a finger in my panties, he slid them down my legs. “You should sleep without those, by the way.”

  I laughed, reaching up to stroke his face. “Would that make you happy?”

  “You on tap makes me happy.” His lips curled into a grin as he leaned over to kiss me again. He rolled on top of me, kissing my neck. “You could lose the nightgown too.”

  “Years of habit.”

  “I want you naked in bed with me,” he whispered in my ear. A shiver ran the length of me, and I was almost panting with desire. I just wasn’t used to feeling this wanted.

  He pushed himself up and I pulled my nightgown over my breasts. Logan ran a loving tongue across them before letting me sit to slip it over my head. My eyes met his, and I turned to marshmallow at the way he stared adoringly at me.

  “Logan,” I whispered.

  “You’re so damn beautiful, Liv. I just want to look at you all the time, feel you against me. I can’t get enough of this.”

  I fought back tears. Not once had Evan said anything remotely close to this, not even in his most tender moments. Logan loved me more than anyone else ever had.

  “Don’t cry, baby. I know you’re not used to this attention, but you’d better get used to it, because this is me.” His eyes were full of longing as he examined my face.

  His kiss was so tender, and I closed my eyes, lost in the moment as he trailed kisses down my neck. “Get on top.”

  He rolled off me, beckoning me to straddle him, lowering myself on his hardness. Now it was my turn to gaze down at him, see the love in his eyes, the love that was mine and mine alone.

  “Love you,” he whispered.

  I wiggled my hips and he grinned in response, thrusting upwards, harder into me. I loved that we were literally joined at the hip, and I never wanted it to end.

  “Earth to Olivia,” he said softly.

  I laughed. He’d noticed I was away with the fairies, in my own little world thinking about us.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I'm thinking about just how perfect this is. And I’m thinking that we still need to make this quick so that I can get the boys dropped off on time. And then there’s work.” I waggled my eyebrows to show him I wasn't completely serious.

  Logan smirked, one side of his mouth twisted into a sly grin. “Forget work, come home and play with me.”

  I laughed. “As much as I’d like to, I have rent to pay.”

  “I’ll pay the rent. You can be a kept woman.”

  I rolled my eyes, gasping as we moved together. Never in my life had I felt so connected with someone, and not just in the physical sense.

  He stroked my breasts, my shoulders, running his hands down my back as if he didn’t want to lose contact in any way. I didn’t want him to either, but I knew that I’d have to return to earth sooner rather than later.

  His hands on my shoulders pulled me down towards him as he groaned his release. I couldn’t have been any more poetic and loving in a book.

  My heart swelled at the realisation that this was my life from now on. He was my life.

  “Logan,” I murmured as I rolled over and snuggled up beside him. I never wanted this feeling to end, the complete and utter giving of myself to another human being. One who was prepared to give me just as much back.

  He kissed me, the whiskers on his chin tickling my face. It was a kiss filled with more than just the passion that we felt for one another—it was a kiss filled with love.

  And as much as I loved it all, the clock was ticking.

  “You are going to hate me for this, but I have to get out of bed.”

  Bang. Back down we both came, but he just grinned at me and nodded.

  “I know. You have to get our boys off to school. Liv, I understand you need your independence after everything that happened, but you don’t have to work as hard anymore. You’ve got me right behind you.”

  Our boys—he called them our boys. Something told me Evan didn’t care enough to be concerned about that. It felt weird, but so good.

  Logan pushed the hair back that had flopped so inelegantly over my face, his fingers running through the strands as he gazed at me.

  “Get going before I change my mind and tie you to the bed,” he murmured.

  I laughed, pecking at his lips before pulling away. It wouldn’t take much more to convince me to stay, but this would have to wait until the evening.

  “You don’t think I’m serious?” He cocked an eyebrow as he pulled himself into a seated position, leaning against the pillows.

  “I know you are. Why do you think I’m escaping now?”

  I picked up my panties from the floor. “I’d better put these on too. They can always come off later.”

  “You know they will.” Logan winked, those eyes full of love making my heart pound.

  I sighed, overwhelmed by the feeling inside me. Nothing had ever felt so good. I’d thought I had it all before, but this time, I really did.

  “Move it, missy, before I change my mind about letting you go.”

  I dropped my nightgown over my head so I could make my way to the shower. Logan sighed as it draped ov
er my breasts, and I shook my head, rolling my eyes at his lost expression.

  Leaning over the bed, I kissed him tenderly before making a move toward the door. “Want anything for breakfast?”

  “I believe I’ve already had breakfast.” He had such a cheesy grin on his face, I had to get out to stop myself from laughing.

  If this was what real love was like, I wanted my life to be this all the time.

  It was overwhelming and amazing, and at the same time scary. The thought of getting what I always wanted terrified me.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It didn't take long for Logan to all but move in. As the days went by, he brought over clothing and the most important thing of all, according to the boys: the PlayStation. I even gave him a key so he start preparing dinner. It all just felt right.

  We couldn't get enough of one another, and it was almost as if he'd always been there, the way he naturally stepped into our world full-time.

  Now I came home to dinner cooking instead of rushing to do it myself, and our apartment felt like a real home. I hadn't realised just how hollow my old life was. Logan had completed it.

  We settled in to our new routine as if it were the way we'd always done things, and the month flew by as I looked forward to sharing a bed each night with him.

  Tuesday night was Chinese takeaway night, and I grabbed some on the way home. The boys were chattering the entire car trip about their days and what they hoped would be their latest Lego conquest after dinner.

  I rolled my eyes at them, but I loved how enthused and happy they were. They'd had so much to deal with during the past few months, but they were settled, and knew just how much they were loved.

  Logan wasn't home when we got there. That was odd. His workshop was nearby, a five-minute drive away, if the traffic wasn't bad. I pulled my phone out of my bag, but there were no missed calls or voicemails.

  Maybe he'd lost track of the time. I placed the food on the table and went to the kitchen to fetch some plates.

  "Where's Logan?" Jack asked.

  "He must be at work, baby."

  He pouted. "Not fair."

  "Jack, he has customers he has to take care of. I'm sure he'll be home soon."

  I returned to the table, putting the plates down and taking the lids off the plastic containers. There was that lovely freshly cooked smell.

  Making the boys plates up first, I put one together for Logan for later and plated my own dinner.

  I sat on the couch as the boys sat on the floor, wolfing down their food, desperate to play that next level on their game. "Slow down you two, the game isn't going anywhere."

  "But, Mum ..." Jack said, talking through a mouthful of food.

  "Take your time. I said you could play the level."

  When we were finished, I put the plates in the sink and lay on the couch to watch them. I loved how they were using team work to build things and demolish them.

  It helped keep my mind of Logan not being home, and as the minutes ticked by I tried not to think about it, pretend that everything was fine.

  An hour later I looked at the clock, frowning as it ticked over to 6.30pm.. All those old insecurities began to grow as I called the workshop and got no answer. His mobile went straight to voicemail.

  Torn between being worried about his safety and worried that he might be up to no good, my stomach ached. My heart told me he would never do anything to hurt me, but years of dealing with bullshit turned my head in such a way that the feeling ate me alive.

  “Where’s Logan?” Thomas asked.

  “I don’t know sweetie. Running late.” I smiled as he grinned up at me.

  “He’s not Dad, Mummy,” Jack said.

  My heart caught in my throat as I gazed at him.

  “I know, baby. Something must have happened. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”

  The nagging doubt stuck around until after they’d gone to bed. Where was he and why wasn’t he answering my calls? The thought of him with anyone else stabbed me in the heart. I’d given myself to him heart and soul, more so than I had any other person.

  I sat on the couch, flicking on the television while I waited. Eyes growing heavy, I laid down, resting my head as I looked at the images on the screen. Tears welled in my eyes. I’d been used to this with Evan; I never thought I’d have to deal with this with Logan.

  A stream of tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to fight them. There could be many explanations as to why he wasn’t home, but the years of Evan going out in the evenings with no idea of when he was coming home pushed me to cry.

  I closed my eyes, only to be woken by Logan’s gentle kisses.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he whispered.

  My eyes felt as if they were glued together as I pried them open.

  “Oh, baby. I hope those tears weren’t for me. I got home as soon as I could.”

  He pulled me up to sit, wrapping those big, strong arms around me, making me feel comforted even without explanation. He was home, and all was right with the world.

  “I went to get parts this afternoon out east, and there was a huge accident. Must have been all over the news. Some poor woman got stuck in her car, and I stayed with her until the fire service managed to cut her out.”

  Holy crap. My breathing sped up as I released a sob, and he pulled me closer, stroking my back to calm me.

  “I tried to call when I realised I was going to be a while, then found my phone was flat. I should have got someone to call you, babe, I just didn’t think. I’m sorry.”

  “I didn’t watch the news; we were having dinner and then the boys played their game. I just thought …”

  “You thought I’d done what Evan used to do to you. Damn it, Liv, don’t you know I’ll never, ever do that?” He kissed the top of my head, resting his chin in my hair. “All I kept thinking about was that if it were you, I’d want someone to stay and hold your hand. No matter how long it took.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I could until the sobs subsided, and I felt I could breathe again.

  “I know I was being silly,” I whispered.

  “Never. You have every reason to feel this way after all the times it’s happened before. If there is ever a time I’m not by your side when I’m supposed to be, there’ll be a good reason. God knows, it’s hard enough to say goodbye to you in the mornings.”

  I buried my face in his chest, laughing.

  “Jack knew,” I said, my voice muffled by Logan's warm body. “Jack told me you weren’t like his dad.”

  “Jack’s very wise. You should listen to him.”

  “He is, and I know you’re not. I just panicked. I’m sorry.”

  He leaned back, letting go of me, and raised my face with his fingers under my chin to look into my eyes.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I really want to have a shower and go to bed. Want to come with me?”

  I nodded, and he bent his head to kiss my tears away, making me better.

  “Then, I want to hold you close and dream with you. That woman today? Her husband was away on business. They couldn’t even get hold of him to let him know. It made me so grateful that we’re all together and nothing is ever going to separate us.”

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  “I love you too. Very much. Don’t ever forget that.”

  He stood and reached out for my hand to pull me off the couch. With his hand in mine, I felt safe, loved, sorry that I ever thought the worst.

  Soon after I examined his face as he slept peacefully beside me. What I felt for him still blew me away. I’d never thought anything was possible, but here he was, right next to me, loving me as if it were something he’d done his whole life, protecting me from harm, feeling the need to be with me as I felt for him.

  And still, I was terrified.

  Terrified of having something so perfect and losing it. Terrified of being left alone again.

  I’d had to be stronger than I’d ever thought I’d have to be s
ince Evan left. Now I had this big, strong man backing me up, wanting to fulfil my dreams.

  I only hoped I could give him what he needed in return.

  * * *

  “I think it’s time you met my mum.” They were the first words out of his mouth in the morning.

  The words freaked me out. Not that I wasn’t committed to Logan, but I’d not had much luck with parents. My father had left, and my mother threw me out. Evan’s parents had split up at some point, and his dad had died in a building accident. His mother was around for a while, but then she’d had a massive stroke.

  Maybe I was just bad luck.

  “Are you sure? I mean, I seem to either drive them away or kill them. Not that I literally kill them, but that’s what it seems like.”

  His eyes smiled as much as his lips did. “Olivia, relax. She’ll love you. You’re the most chilled out, down-to-earth girlfriend I’ve had. You’re not overwhelming, like Maddy, and you don’t do drugs. And those boys? Man, she’ll think she’s died and gone to heaven.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Do you not think that’s what I’m afraid of?”

  He laughed. “I get my easy-going charm from her. you two are very similar.”

  “Easy-going charm, huh?”

  “Well, it worked on you.” He leaned forward and kissed me as I laughed. “That and I just know you were impressed by my wealth.”

  “What wealth?”

  “Whoops.” He waggled his eyebrows and kissed me again.

  “I think I fell in love with your arm muscles first. They are pretty damn hot.”

  Logan frowned, looking hurt. “What? You only want me for my body?”

  I nuzzled his nose with mine. “That’s just one thing I love about you. You’re loving, and kind, and exceptional in bed, as Maddy would say.”

  He pulled away from me. “You and Maddy have been talking about our sex life?”

  I laughed, raising my finger to my lips. “That’s for me to know.”