by BWWM Club
“I am okay.” She told him exasperatedly. “You have asked me that so many times that I am wondering if it’s becoming a mantra with you.”
“Maybe,” he grinned unabashed as he hugged her close to him. “I was thinking that we could have a thanksgiving dinner here and invite Gladys, my mom, Mary-Ann and several others. What do you think?”
“As long as I don’t have to cook,” she told him.
“I told you, I love to cook and I have hired someone from church to do the housework. So all you have to do is sit back and give orders.” He said with a grin.
“Sounds like a plan.” She told him teasingly as they went back inside.
*****
“I got the good news.” Gladys told her with a smile. She had been looking a little wilted for the past few days and Leah had wondered if she was coming down with something. She had left the office and come on down to talk to her because she had grown so close to her. She knew that Gladys lived alone in a tiny apartment and Leah was wondering if Paul would let her have the little cottage at the side of the church that had been Pastor Leo’s before he had gotten his house. It would be nearer for her and there would be people around to help her. “I am so happy for you both.” She had just put in a batch of cookies inside the oven.
“Thanks,” Leah said with a smile, going forward to pour tea for both of them like she usually did. “You okay Gladys; you look like you’re coming down with something.”
“I have been feeling a little weaker than usual for the past few days but I guess it’s just the change of weather that’s causing it.” Gladys accepted the steaming cup of tea with a grateful smile. “Now tell me about the fabulous new house.” She said changing the subject.
Leah hesitated, wondering if she should continue to push but decided against it. “It’s really beautiful and way too big,” Leah said with a shake of her head. “Paul has this idea in his head that we are going to fill it up with children.”
“And you should,” Gladys said seriously, sipping her tea thoughtfully. “I wish I had children of my own, sometimes I get so lonely and no matter how many loving people you have around you, your own are your own.”
“I am sorry you were not able to,” Leah reached out a hand to touch the woman fleetingly.
“God knew best my dear,” Gladys told her seriously. “I am going to tell you a story that I have only told two other people in my life.” She put aside her cup and took Leah’s hands in hers. “I got involved with a man when I was eighteen years old. I never knew he was married until after I discovered I was pregnant. I was so starry eyed, thinking that we were going to be married and live happily ever after. I had just finished my first year of college and I said to myself that college could always come afterwards. When I told him that I was pregnant he hit the roof, accusing me of trying to trap him with pregnancy. I was so frightened and bewildered that I just stood there looking at him in the tiny apartment where we always met, my apartment that my dad had rented for me. It never occurred to me that he never took me anywhere and the only thing we did was copulate. That was when he told me he had a wife and two kids and was not looking for another family. He encouraged me to get an abortion and it was done by a quack. I almost bled to death and that was when my parents knew about us. They didn’t bother scolding me because I had been punished enough and they took care of me and I never heard from him again.
“A few years later I met my husband and I told him what had happened. At first we tried all kinds of things but nothing happened and I spent the first few years of my marriage beating myself up for the incredibly bad choices I had made until he told me that if I did not stop blaming myself he was going to leave.” She looked at Leah with tears trickling down her face. “I made a mistake and the consequences of that mistake stayed with me for my entire life. I had asked God for forgiveness and I have received it and that’s how I have learned to live with myself since.”
Leah sat there in shock; her heart twisting with the pain of what Gladys must have gone through. Two women and two very poignant stories that had made them who they were. She could not imagine going through all that and still talk about God’s forgiveness but they were doing so and were so grateful at being giving a second chance.
“I am so sorry.” She clung to her hands, her own tears starting.
“So am I but God has forgiven me and my husband loved me in spite of the stupidity of youth.” She said with a smile. “I want you to enjoy what you have and don’t ever take it for granted.”
“I don’t intend to.” Leah whispered getting up to give the woman a hug.
*****
Leah spoke to Paul about her when they got home later that evening. He had been in and out of meetings because he had been trying to get the media part of the ministry going. “I think we should let Gladys move into the cottage.” She murmured as he took her feet and started rubbing them.
“Something wrong?” he asked her.
“I don’t think she is doing too well.”
“I saw her this morning and she said she was coming down with the flu. You know it’s that time of the year.” Paul commented as he rubbed some cream into the small of her feet. She was just two months pregnant and was not yet showing but she found that her feet had started bothering her.
“I think she should see the doctor.” Leah persisted.
“I will see about that tomorrow.” He told her.
“Maybe I am overreacting,” Leah told him as she climbed into beside him. “After losing both parents, I don’t want to lose someone else so close to me.”
“We never really lose the people we love baby,” he told her softly, pulling her into his arms. “They live on in our hearts.”
*****
They got the call early the following morning to say that Gladys had been rushed to the hospital. Paul drove them directly there and went to see her. Pastor Leo was already there and several other members in the waiting room.
“May we see her?” Paul asked the doctor as soon as they got there.
“She is sleeping now Mr. Maitland,” the friendly doctor said. “She has a touch of pneumonia and we are keeping her under observation. She has gotten progressively weaker over the last few weeks so we are just making sure that she is okay.”
“Can you call us as soon as she wakes up?” Paul asked.
“Sure,” he nodded and hurried off to answer a page.
“I don’t want to leave,” Leah held on to his hand as he made to leave. “I want to be here when she wakes up Paul.”
“Honey you heard the doctor, he’ll call when that happens.” Paul told her gently. He could feel her trembling slightly and he wrapped his arms around her.
“Please,” she lifted pleading eyes up to him and he relented, even though he did not want to leave her, he had an urgent meeting to go to. “Okay,” he said reluctantly. “Pastor Leo, could you make sure my wife is okay?”
“Sure thing Paul. I will call you if there are any changes.” The man said with a smile.
“I’ll try to get back as soon as possible, but call me if you need me.” He kissed her on the cheek before leaving.
Pastor Leo went to get her some tea which she accepted gratefully and sat there trying not to be too anxious. She had experienced death twice in her life. Once, when she was not even aware of it and then when her father had died and she had not been there. She had grown so close to Gladys and the story she had told her about what had happened to her when she was eighteen was something that had been haunting her since. The woman had been through so much pain and suffering that it seemed like her life was just that: pain and suffering, and still she found the time to offer comfort and encouragement.
*****
Paul glanced at the documents in front of him frowning. He had been trying to find his birth father for the past three weeks and he had not said anything to Leah. He had told her he did not care about finding out what he was but ever since he had found out he was going to be a father soon, he had figured he wante
d to at least find out where he came from. He had set the P.I. on it and so far they had come up with zero. He had discreetly asked his mother about her partners, not willing to let her go back down that road again but she did not have a clue and he had stopped asking.
He had told them to still continue digging because he wanted to know, he wanted to be able to tell his son or his daughter where they came from and he wanted to know himself. He had agonized over whether or not he had inherited defective genes because what sort of man leaves a child without trying to find out if the child was going to be okay? At least his mother had placed him on the steps of a home but his father had not bothered trying to find him. Or did he even know he existed?
He sighed and leaned back against his chair, closing his eyes briefly. The meeting had ended half an hour ago but he did not feel like going to the hospital just now. He had not told Leah but he felt that Gladys time had come to say goodbye and he was not sure she was going to be able to deal with it.
*****
Gladys woke up half an hour later and the doctor told Leah she could get five minutes with her. “My dear what are you doing here?” she said weakly as soon as Leah entered the room. She looked so frail that Leah almost cried.
“I am here to see you, what else?” Leah said forcing a smile to her lips and pulling up a chair beside the bed. “More to the point what are you doing here? You told me you were okay when I asked you yesterday.”
“I was all right,” she said with a feeble smile. “It’s these people, they fuss too much. A person cannot get a little cold these days?”
“You need to take care of yourself Gladys,” Leah said gently. “Who am I going to turn to for advice if you are not around?”
“You have a very loving husband and a God who cares about you more than you can ever imagine.” Gladys told her soberly. “Ever since my husband died I have been hanging on to do the Lord’s work but really feeling tired and wanting to go home and be with him. I have done my course my dear, I have been on the battlefield and I have done what I can and I just want to go home now and rest.”
Leah felt a shiver of alarm go through her. “What are you saying?”
“I am saying my dear that I am tired and I need to rest. I have been in the wheelchair for so long and not that I am complaining but I need to rest in the arms of my savior.” She smiled suddenly, a beautiful angelic smile that had Leah blinking. “Forgive the ramblings of a middle aged woman my dear, maybe it’s the medication. Now how are you feeling?”
They chatted for a little bit until the doctor came in and said it was time for her to get some rest. “I will be back to see you later.” She kissed the woman on the cheek and left the room, feeling a little forlorn.
Paul was not there but he had called and said that he had some conference calls to make so he wanted to know if he should send the car for her. She got a ride from a church member and went to the office. It was starting to get cold and she pulled her coat around her as soon as she got out of the car.
“He’s in the office Leah.” Mary-Ann said with a smile. “How is dear Gladys?”
“She looks weak,” Leah said sadly. “And she is talking about going home to be with her Lord. It’s like she is saying goodbye.”
“She is always saying goodbye,” Mary-Ann said with a shake of her head. “Don’t take it to heart.”
Leah went inside her husband’s office to see him on the phone. He waved to her to come nearer and she did. She was just realizing that she was feeling extremely tired and wanted to lie down.
“I just spoke to the doctor.” He took her hand and pulled her onto his lap. “She is sleeping right now and she is not too bad. I am sorry I did not get to come back baby but I had some calls to make.”
“I know,” she rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. “Did you know she had a horrible relationship when she was a teenager?”
“I heard something like that but not the full details.” He murmured, stroking her back.
“She was forced to have an abortion that almost cost her her life by a man selfish enough not to be thinking of her.”
“Oh honey,” Paul said softly. “She is always so upbeat and cheerful. I look at her in that wheelchair and she gives me so much hope that no matter what life throws at you; God will always be able to sustain you.”
“I am trying to believe that Paul but sometimes it is so hard.” Leah said wearily.
“I know but you just need to keep on believing.”
*****
Gladys took a deep breath and gave a sigh of relief when the nurse left the room. She knew that it was due to Paul’s influence that she was being treated like a queen. She had been given a private room and the nurses and doctor came by to check on her every few minutes. At one point she had pretended to be asleep so that they would leave her alone. Sneaky she knew but they had been getting on her nerves.
She settled back against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. She had been doing a lot of thinking and planning because she had a feeling that her time was running out. She had told Leah that she was rambling but that was not exactly true, she was tired and wanted to rest but she had seen the expression on the girl’s face and had put a light note on it.
Leah was the closest she had ever come to having a child and it made her wonder what she had allowed to destroy. Had it been a girl? Or maybe a boy? She looked at Paul and Leah and wished she could somehow go back in time and make the decision all over again but life did not work like that and she had accepted her loss and moved on from there with the help of God. But still she wondered sometimes and she cries to herself at the senseless loss of everything. The folly of youth, she thought sadly.
She had asked the nurse for a note pad and a paper because she wanted to put her thoughts on paper before it was too late. She knew the doctor had told her that she was coming along fine but she knew otherwise. She knew her body too well and knew it was getting weaker by the days and truth be told she was tired of sitting in one position for so long. She smiled as she remembered a little bit after they had gotten married and her husband had taken her on a boating trip. She had been so afraid of the water but he had told her that he would always be there to fish her out if she fell in. She had fallen in one blustery summer day and he had jumped in after her, holding her close to him. “I told you,” he said triumphantly.
*****
Leah dreamed that she was on the hill again and this time it was Gladys at the bottom holding out her hands and telling her to jump.
“I can’t I am afraid,” she called out.
“Don’t be my dear, I am here and I will catch you,” the woman told her.
Leah found herself wondering how was it that Gladys was suddenly walking. “When did you start walking again?” she asked her.
“It’s a miracle and I thank God that I am able to walk again that’s why I want you to believe and jump.”
She woke up at that point, wondering what the dream meant. She got off the bed quietly, careful not to wake Paul. He had a tendency to get up when she did and insisted on getting her whatever she wanted from the kitchen.
He had been true to his word and got someone to do the housework which meant that she had nothing to do when she got home. She had been doing some gardening, finding that planting vegetables and fruit trees was quite therapeutic. She made her way down to the kitchen and made herself a cup of herbal tea; her stomach had started acting up again and the doctor had told her it might settle down when she got to her second trimester. She placed her hand on her still flat stomach, hardly believing that she was carrying a baby inside her.
She bit her lip as she remembered that her child would never know her parents and wished her dad was alive to see and know what was happening with her.
The kitchen was sparkling clean. She rested the cup on the beautiful marble counter top and sat on a curved chair in front of it. The sheer elegance of the house she called home often stunned her and she found herself looking around at the luxurious carpe
ting in the living room and the smooth shiny surface of the parquet floor in the kitchen. Paul had not spared any expense in making the place something to look at and she loved him for the way he was always taking care of her.
“I knew I would find you down here,” his deep voice had her turning to face him.
“And I knew you would come and find me,” she said with a smile as she opened her arms to let him in.
Chapter 8
Gladys died two weeks later. Leah had been to see her that very day and they had been talking about the baby and how Paul was a man living on the moon nowadays.
“You have given him the world my dear, “Gladys told her with a smile. “He was in here the other day and all he could talk about were you and the baby.”
“He does not want me to pick up a straw and when I am at the office he constantly asks me if I am okay.” Leah said shaking her head.
“You need to cherish that my dear, not many people have that sort of a marriage.” Gladys said patting her hands. She looked frail, Leah thought. The doctor had said that her immune system had deteriorated and she was not eating much.
“I will.” Leah had told her softly.
She had been to visit her in the afternoon and had planned to go back in the evening but she had been busy typing up some of her notes and had lost track of time. She died that night at around twelve o’clock and they got the call the next morning.
“How could she be dead? I saw her earlier in the afternoon.” Leah was visibly shaken. They had been having breakfast at the house when Paul got the call. “What happened?”
“A fresh bout of pneumonia and coughing. Her lungs collapsed and they could not help her. She went peacefully baby.” Paul tried to take her into his arms but she pulled away and hurried towards the bedroom.
He followed her. “She did not want to suffer anymore Leah, we have to understand that.” He said gently. She was sitting at the stool in front of the huge dresser; her eyes huge and blank. “God knows best...” he began when she rounded on him.
“Stop it!” she cried out, her hands clenched. “I am tired of hearing that God knows best and I am tired of facing death.”