by Daniel Hurst
‘They didn’t want to spoil tonight’s lesson. But they are going to tell you afterwards.’
I shake my head, annoyed at the deception from my customers. But they were right to leave it until after the lesson to tell me. I’d have left beforehand if they had given me the news then.
‘I don’t understand. I thought you were enjoying our lessons?’ I say to Michael, playing the victim even though I know this has nothing to do with him.
‘I do. I told them that, but they wouldn’t listen. They just said it was for the best.’
I rack my brains for the real reason behind this. Of course I had been expecting to get the boot at some point but not this soon. I had so much to accomplish here before then, and I’m not talking about helping Michael with his revision.
‘There must be something else,’ I say, thinking out loud. ‘Have you got any ideas?’
Michael suddenly looks sheepish, so I press him for answers.
‘What?’
‘I wonder if they overheard us talking the other day,’ he says. ‘About how I heard them in bed.’
I do recall Michael telling me about hearing his mum and dad being intimate the other night, as well as my comments on the matter. Perhaps he is right. Perhaps they did overhear us talking about them. I could see why Amy and Nick would get annoyed by that. Nobody would want their child’s tutor hearing about what they got up to in their bedroom.
‘You really think that’s what it is?’ I ask him.
Michael shrugs, and at that moment he looks every bit of his sixteen years of age. Just a confused, frustrated and helpless teenager being forced to deal with his parents’ latest decision regarding his life. One day he will get to move out and be his own person, but for now, he is as trapped as every child living under their guardians’ roof.
‘Do you think I should go and have a word with your mum and dad?’ I suggest, even though I have no intention of doing such a thing. I’m not going to go begging for my job. If anyone should be doing the begging, then it is them. And they will. All in good time.
‘No,’ Michael says quickly. ‘Then they will know that I’ve told you.’
‘Of course, I don’t want to get you in any trouble,’ I say, trying to sound nice but really saying it to make Michael feel his age.
‘I won’t get in trouble!’ he replies in exactly the defensive manner that I expected.
‘It’s okay, I won’t say anything,’ I tell him, taking a moment to decide on my next move. I could do as I am supposed to and finish this lesson, then make my way to the front door where Amy will give me the news and send me on my way with my last payment. Or I could sabotage this last lesson and teach Michael some unnecessary things which will make his performance in the exam worse. But that would just be getting back at him rather than his parents, and they are the ones who want to get rid of me.
‘I have an idea,’ Michael says, surprising me with his input. ‘I was thinking that I could come to your place and study instead of you coming here. My parents wouldn’t have to know.’
I like the sound of that idea a lot, but I can’t make it obvious right away. I have to pretend to Michael that I am thinking about it. But my delay only makes him try and convince me even more.
‘I have some money. I could pay you myself,’ he says, and it seems Michael isn’t as far off being his own person as I had thought.
‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea,’ I reply. ‘If your mum and dad think you will be better off with someone else, then I should respect that.’
‘It’s not up to them,’ Michael says, with a fair amount of passion in his voice. ‘It’s my education. I should be the one who decides what is best. And I know that you are a much better tutor than anyone else they could get me.’
I’m flattered by my student’s endorsement of me. What he means is that I’m better looking than anyone else that his parents could get for him. But I appreciate it nonetheless.
‘I do need the money,’ I lie, allowing my body language to depict me as the inferior one at this table for the first time since we sat down.
‘Then it’s decided,’ Michael says with a big grin on his face. ‘You’ll still be my tutor. I’ll come to you. My parents won’t have to know a thing about it.’
I smile and say that sounds wonderful. I don’t tell him that his parents are going to find out about it though. I don’t want to ruin his happiness. They will find out. But it won’t be because he lets slip about it. They will find out because I will tell them. But not yet. This will force me to change my plans slightly, but I can make this work in my favour. Just because I’m not in the house anymore, it doesn’t mean that I can’t learn more about this happy little family.
I’m so excited by what is to come that I can barely concentrate on the textbook for the rest of the lesson. But Michael doesn’t seem to mind.
He really is a great student.
33
AMY
No one likes having an awkward conversation. We spend so much time trying to avoid them. It’s the reason we don’t walk past a particular person’s desk in the office or make sure not to make eye contact with a stranger in a lift. Awkward conversations are something to be dodged at all costs. But there’s no avoiding this one.
‘Can I have a quick word?’ I ask Petra before she can get her coat on and head for the door. Her lesson with Michael has just finished, and now I need to deliver the news to her that there will be no more. I feel bad for doing this and even worse because she will have no idea that it is coming, but my mind is made up. I just hope she takes it well.
‘Yeah, sure,’ Petra replies, displaying a dazzling smile that I’m sure has broken many hearts over the years.
I lead her into the living room but purposely don’t take a seat on the sofa because I don’t want the tutor to do the same and get comfortable. If she sits down, then this could turn into a long conversation, and I don’t want that.
When I am sure that we are out of earshot of Michael in the kitchen, I take a deep breath and begin my carefully rehearsed spiel.
‘I’m really sorry, but I’m afraid we are unable to continue with my son’s lessons,’ I say.
Petra genuinely looks surprised which is both good and bad. Good because it means that Michael kept his word and didn’t tell her. Bad because it means I am the one who has to tell her.
‘Oh,’ Petra replies. ‘Did I do something wrong?’
I feel even worse about this whole thing now that Petra has automatically assumed that she has made a mistake that has cost her her job. It might have been easier if she got defensive or argumentative, but she is being nice, which only makes me feel worse.
‘No it’s not that at all,’ I say quickly. ‘You’ve been great. It’s just that my husband and I are going through some financial difficulties at the moment and we need to try and save some money where we can.’
I was planning on telling her that we were looking for somebody with more experience, but I have chickened out because I don’t want to offend her.
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,’ Petra says. ‘I hope your jobs are okay?’
‘Yeah, they are for now, but they might not be,’ I lie, figuring I can’t say that everything is fine now that I have gone down this route.
‘Okay, well I understand,’ Petra says with a sympathetic look. She feels sorry for me, which only adds to the unsettling feeling in my stomach that maybe this isn’t the best thing to do. But then I think about how I will be less stressed when Sue is the one coming to our house instead of this goddess before me, so I forge on with the plan.
‘Thank you. I’m sorry about this. I know you might have been counting on the money, but I hope you can find another student soon?’
‘Oh yeah, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine,’ Petra replies, and I believe her. I doubt a woman like her will struggle to find success in this world.
‘That’s great. Thank you for all your hard work with Michael, and I am sure that he has learnt a lot in y
our short time together.’
‘No problem. He’s a great student and a lovely kid.’
I think about how Michael would hate being referred to as a kid and especially by someone I’m sure he fancies, but he is in the other room so he has been spared that.
I turn and head for the front door, satisfied that this has been a successful outcome and the awkwardness is now at an end. But then we reach the door, and I’m just about to open it when Petra speaks again. But this time there is no hint of the friendly and polite woman that I was speaking with a few seconds ago.
Instead, I suddenly see a whole different side of her.
‘It’s probably for the best anyway. Your husband is a very handsome man. I spoke with him on the driveway last week, and we got on very well. I was rather hoping to get to know him a little more. We could have had some fun together. Never mind.’
With that, Petra turns and walks away up the driveway. I’m too surprised by what she just said to call after her, and by the time I feel ready to formulate a response, she is already in her car and closing the door.
The cheeky bitch. I can’t believe she just said that she fancies my husband.
I have no doubt about it now.
She needed to go.
And now she has.
34
PETRA
I can’t take the smile off my face as I drive home. Catching sight of myself in the rear-view mirror, I don’t look like somebody who has just lost their job. Of course, I haven’t. Not really. Being a tutor isn’t my profession. It’s just the way I was able to extricate myself into the Lever family’s lives.
I applaud Amy for her intuition. She has obviously got a bad feeling about me and decided to stop the lessons. While she can’t even begin to comprehend the reality of who I am and what I am capable of, I do respect that she has at least had an inkling of trouble.
Why else would she get rid of me?
I don’t believe for one minute that it has anything to do with her overhearing my conversation with Michael in which he told me about his parents’ sex lives. I just agreed with him on that because I know he likes it when I do that. But in reality, I know Amy’s decision is because of what could happen in that house rather than what has happened yet.
Amy sees me as a threat, which she should. I’m smarter, better looking and younger than she is. She would have known that her husband and son would become enamoured with me. I’m guessing that her jealousy of me has got the better of her. Not that anything has actually happened yet. Barring a brief chat with Nick on the driveway, I haven’t even begun to get my claws into him. But I was planning on doing so, and that is still the plan. I’ll just have to reconfigure it slightly. Fortunately, Michael has proven to be quite resourceful and has told me that he would like us to continue our lessons behind his mother’s back. He is willing to come to my place to keep studying with me. Of course, the main goal for me is still to get back inside his house, but I already have a few ideas about how I can do that.
I feel quite excited as I drive on through the dreary suburban streets. It’s a good job that I am passionate about my work because there isn’t much else to inspire me around here. It’s dark, it’s drizzling, and every house in this two-bit town looks exactly the same as all the others.
Middle-class families, middle-aged homeowners, middle England.
I’m glad I’m not stuck here forever. I’ll be out of here soon enough.
I’ll be out of here as soon as I have accomplished my goal.
I must have been completely lost in my daydream because I fail to see the jogger until I almost hit him. Slamming on the brakes, I bring my car to a stop inches away from the terrified man in my headlights. His wide eyes stare at me through my windscreen, and it is clear that he didn’t see me coming just as much as I didn’t see him.
But this isn’t just some random jogger after all.
It’s Nick.
I wind my window down and poke my head outside.
‘I’m sorry! You came out of nowhere!’ I say, hoping that my lame excuse of an apology can make up for the fact that I nearly mowed this man down five minutes away from where his family live.
Nick seems surprised to see me but more relieved that he is still alive to see anybody at all after narrowly avoiding the collision with my front bumper. He makes his way around to my window and I see that his skin is glistening. It’s a combination of the rain and the sweat from his exertion, and I like it.
He’s rugged.
Active.
And out of breath.
‘Thanks for stopping,’ he quips as he puts his hands on his hips and sucks in mouthfuls of the cold night air.
‘I figured your wife might hate me if I ran you over,’ I reply with a cheeky smile.
‘Yeah, she’ll be glad you stopped. My kids too.’
I laugh before allowing my eyes to wander down from his face to his athletic body. I want him to see what I am doing.
I want him to know that I like what I see.
‘I didn’t realise how late it was,’ Nick says, making a point of checking the Fitbit on his wrist. ‘I guess you’ve just finished your lesson with Michael.’
I don’t buy it for a second. I’m sure he knows exactly what time it is. I bet he has purposefully stayed out this late so he could avoid having to be there with his wife when she told me that she didn’t want me to be their son’s tutor anymore.
‘Yep, all done. It was a good session. Shame it was my last.’
Nick looks instantly sheepish.
‘I guess Amy spoke to you,’ he says, and I nod. I wonder if he is going to trot out the same excuse that she used on me about how they can’t afford to keep me on. But he doesn’t say anything at all, and I assume it is because he already knows that any excuse is bullshit.
‘It’s fine, I understand,’ I say, keeping my voice light. ‘It’s a shame though. Michael’s a great kid.’
‘Yeah, he is,’ Nick replies, looking like the proud father for a moment which makes me like him even more.
‘So I guess this is goodbye then,’ I say, taking my eyes off him and returning them to the road ahead. I wonder what he will say next. I have a feeling he won’t want this to be goodbye after all.
‘Look, let me have a word with my wife. Maybe we can figure out the finances and keep the lessons going.’
I knew it. He doesn’t want me to go at all.
This is all Amy.
‘Don’t worry about it. I’ve got other students. If you guys need to save money, then that’s fine. I know that times are tough right now.’
I’m deliberately hitting on the pretence that he is short for money because I expect it will make him feel bad if I think he is struggling to provide for his family.
‘No, that’s not it. It’s just...’
He stops speaking as if he knows that Amy would be annoyed with him if he actually told me the truth.
‘Hopefully I’ll see you around,’ I say. ‘This is a small place, after all.’
I wink at Nick then put my car into gear and drive on.
I see him in the rear-view mirror watching me leave. By the time I reach the end of the street he has turned and started jogging home. He is on his way back to his wife.
But I know that it is me who is on his mind as he goes.
35
NICK
I’m shattered. I’ve been out running for nearly two hours, although I have stopped and walked several times to break it up. The whole point of me being out was to avoid Petra and in particular, the awkward conversation where my wife tells her that she won’t be teaching Michael anymore. But in the end, I saw Petra anyway.
She almost ran me over.
I should have been paying more attention as I crossed the road, and I was fortunate that the driver was so quick on the brakes. But I couldn’t believe it when I had looked up and seen who it was behind the wheel. My son’s tutor. The woman who was the reason for me being out here at this time in the first place.
But it’s still annoying.
I’m running fast as I approach my street, but it’s not because I’m feeling incredibly energetic or motivated. It’s because I’m frustrated. Petra has gone, Michael has to put up with a new tutor that he definitely won’t like as much and I’m left feeling like my wife still doesn’t trust me. I would never hurt Amy again. I learnt my lesson after the first mistake. But she still acts as if I’m some wild animal that needs to be locked up at home away from all other women in case I can’t help myself again. But nothing would have happened between the tutor and me. At most, there would have been a little harmless flirting. But it would never have led to anything. I would have made sure of that.
I see my house at the end of the street, but it’s interspersed with the vision of Petra just before she drove away. That cheeky smile and wink made me feel like a man again, yet I’m on my way home now to where my wife is going to make me feel like a boy. I get that Amy is scarred from what happened, but so am I. While she might have trust issues for the rest of our marriage, she has to consider that I also have issues because of that.
Keeping me in this bubble of distrust is only making me want to break out of it even more.
I’m about fifty yards away from my house when I feel the searing pain in the right side of my abdomen. It’s a stitch and it’s caused by me running too fast. I’m not fit enough to be going at this speed for this long, and I’m definitely overdoing it. The stabbing pain in my side is evidence of that. But still, I refuse to stop running, going even faster now and pushing my heart rate up as high as I can get it to go before I reach my front door.