Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2

by Candela, Antoinette

  “I’ve been feeling kind of ill lately,” Mindy answers, smoothing out the white jumpsuit she’s wearing. “I wasn’t sure what it was. Upset stomach, vomiting. I thought it was just all the partying and the late nights, but it started to become more frequent and didn’t go away.”

  I squint, confused. “Okay, what does that have to do with the fact that you both are acting like you have something crawling up your pants?”

  Mindy seems to be struggling with something as she drops her chin to her chest and rests her palm flat over her stomach. I roughly exhale a huge breath and take a step back from her and Evelyn and straight into Juju who’s standing behind me. I know. The water. No alcohol. Upset stomach. All of that means one thing. I could be wrong about this. I want to be wrong about this. Mindy peers at me through desperation-filled eyes.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Normally, this type of news would be received differently, with hugs and words of congratulations and questions regarding the father and due date, but none of that registers with me. Instead, I can’t catch my breath because I know what this could mean. My stomach flares painfully, and I grasp the bar top with my free hand. I remember this past summer and how Mindy bragged about her fling with Reed and how amazing he was. Listening to it all annoyed me. Disgusted me.

  “Do you think you’re carrying Reed’s baby?” I whisper harshly.

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?” I spit out. “So, you’re telling me you’re pregnant because you think Reed’s the father?” I challenge. “How many other guys have you slept with before and after Reed, Mindy? Do you even know? Do you even remember?” I turn to Evelyn. “How long have you known about this?” I demand, glaring at her. I search her face. It’s like I don’t even know her anymore.

  “Not long.” She manages to say as she drops her eyes to her hands.

  “Not long?” I counter. “What? One month? Two months?” I stare at Evelyn who doesn’t respond. “How far along are you?” I ask, turning my attention back to Mindy.

  “A little over three months.”

  I calculate the math in my head. It could actually be possible. I stare at them for a moment and swallow a sharp breath of air. Everyone has started to take notice. Juju and Piper are standing beside me as I face Evelyn, whom I thought was my friend, and Mindy, whom I wish would disappear. The music, the crowd, the entire reason we came out tonight is lost. Everything has been destroyed by Mindy’s bombshell.

  “What’s going on?” Reed asks as he moves over to kiss my neck. I stiffen and turn my head away from him. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He takes my chin and turns me to face him after briefly glancing at Mindy and Evelyn. “What did you say to her?” he demands, creasing his brow in concern. Jace and Cane walk over to find out what all the drama is about. I’m not sure how much they’ve heard, but I hope they’ve heard it all.

  I look up at Reed and push his hand away. “Mindy is pregnant. She thinks you’re the father.” He goes cold and drops his hand. Shock passes over his handsome face and his eyes go blank. He looks at me and back at Mindy. What do you say when you’re confronted with something like this? What do you do? Tears well in my eyes as I look to Reed to tell me there is no way this could be true, but when he looks at me, I know my heart is about to shatter all over again.

  “It’s a lie, Mindy. Tell her it’s a fucking lie,” Reed fumes in despair, putting both hands on his head.

  “I...I can’t,” she stammers. “You could be the father.”

  “And who else? Who else is there?”

  I can sense the tension suffocating the air around us. I forgot, but weren’t we supposed to be celebrating something tonight? Instead, I feel like I’m involved in a wrestling match. One side involving my emotions and the other involving my life.

  “I can’t deal with this. You guys need to figure this out on your own. I can’t be in the middle of it.” My anger is starting to simmer. I knew eventually it would reach the boiling point if I didn’t get out of here.

  “Hear me out,” Mindy interjects. “I said there could be a chance Reed is the father.” She closes her eyes and looks over at Cane. “It could be...” she trails off.

  Cane looks up from his beer and peers over at Mindy and starts shaking his head. “There’s no fucking way,” he grits. “No fucking way.”

  I force myself to stand my ground and concentrate on not losing it completely in public. I watch as strangers around us celebrate and have a good time, while my life that I thought was starting to come back together, is getting ripped apart once again.

  “Are there any of my ex-boyfriends you haven’t slept with?” I cry, exasperated by the new development.

  “Things just happened...”

  “Things just happened?” I interrupt her. My voice has a hard edge to it. “You opened your damn legs one too many times, Mindy. That’s what fucking happened!” I glare at her in blatant repulsion.

  Shaking my head in disbelief, I glance over at Cane. When was he with Mindy? Was it when he was with me? He catches my eyes and shakes his head. I thought I knew Evelyn and him, but it seems like I don’t know anyone anymore. Jace is beside himself and takes a step away from Cane and Reed. Just like me, he’s hurt and devastated and we’re both not sure if we want an explanation tonight.

  “What’s all the ruckus about?” Luke strolls over, clapping his hand on Reed’s shoulder. Reed doesn’t flinch. His eyes never leave my face, and mine don’t leave his. Most times, Luke would put a smile on my face, but right now I feel like punching him in the stomach. “Hey, Min.” He greets her with a nod and throws back his beer. She smiles weakly in response and subsequently takes a sip of water. “So, what’s up assholes? Why does everyone look so pissed off?” Luke glances around the group and shrugs his shoulder. “Anyone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on over here?”

  “It’s nothing,” Mindy replies.

  “Cool. If it’s nothing, how about you and me go finish what we started a few months ago?”

  I only caught the last part of his sentence, but it was enough. I think everyone’s head did a one- eighty, and all eyes were focused on Luke.

  “What the fuck are you looking at?” He runs his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. “I love being the center of attention, but you guys have me all creeped out now.”

  “You hooked up with Mindy?” Cane inquires eagerly as he grabs his beer from the bar.

  “Yeah, sure. Who hasn’t?” He chuckles, looking around the group.

  “I’m not getting thrown into this mess. My dick hasn’t been near Mindy.” Jace steps back, holding up his hands. I always knew my little brother was smart.

  “You motherfuckers need to tell me what’s up, or I’m gonna beat the shit out of every one of you.” Luke laughs. “I’m starting to lose my patience.”

  “You really want to know?” Reed asks.

  “What the fuck have I been asking you all from the jump? Yeah, I wanna know. What’s the scoop?”

  “Mindy’s pregnant,” Reed says as he motions toward her.

  “What the flying fuck?” He raises his eyebrows and finishes his beer in record time.

  “Yeah and apparently all of us are potential sperm donors,” Cane adds.

  “Holy shit.” Luke turns to Mindy as the smile drops from his face. “Jesus, Mindy, you said we were good without a condom as long as I pulled out.”

  Mindy visibly swallows back tears and her lips form a tight line. She doesn’t respond to his comment. I feel sorry for her, but it’s her own fault for being so damn easy. I force my gaze away from Mindy and back to Reed. My stomach is bursting with fire, because it is painfully obvious that Mindy was very active over the last few months and Reed is still not in the clear. They all need to take a paternity test since it is the only solution for the situation.

  I take a deep breath and quietly clear my throat before I speak, “The only way to solve this dilemma is for all of you to take a paternity test. Since Mindy is three months pregnant, it can be done
now and it takes about a week for the results to come back.”

  “When and where?” Luke flicks his eyes in my direction. “There is no way I’m ready to be a daddy to anyone’s kid.” He smiles, but I can tell he is scared of the possibility that he may be. I’m scared for the unborn baby if Luke is the father.

  Reed frowns, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he approaches me. He rests both of his hands on my naked shoulders. I feel like backing away from him, but I stand my ground and smile as I look up at him. I can’t find any words in me. I hold my breath and finally open my mouth. “I have to use the restroom,” I blurt out before I lose it in front of everyone. I hastily turn around and shove my way past the celebrating mob, hearing Reed call after me.

  Reed had Juju follow me to the restroom to make sure I was all right. When I exit with Juju, Reed is standing outside waiting for me. A calmness settles over me despite the latest drama, and I know what I need to do.

  “Doll,” he murmurs, stepping closer to me. He looks determined and defeated simultaneously. I know what he is feeling. We’ve got each other’s back, and in a short time, it feels like we are losing each other again.

  “Reed, I can’t right now,” I whisper, gently pushing him away. “I need some time to think about all of this.”

  “It’s not me. I’m not the father.”

  “How are you so sure? All three of you have the same answer. One of you has to be the father.”

  “I just know.”

  “No. No, you don’t. You hope you’re not the father. The test will prove it.”

  “Fine. I’ll take the damn test. We need to talk about us after all of this. We can get through this no matter what happens,” he replies with a frown, placing his arms around me. I don’t struggle because I need to feel his closeness. A small part of me feels like I am going to lose him again. Do I want that? Most importantly, can I handle it?

  “Are you ready?” Reed spins around at the sound of Juju’s voice.

  “Where are you going?” he asks as I pull away from him.

  “Home.”

  “I’m coming with you,” he insists.

  “No, I told you. I need time.”

  “Shit, Elle, this is crazy.” Walking a few steps past me, he jams one hand through his hair as he drops his eyes to the floor. Even with his back to me, I can sense his irritation escalating. He turns around suddenly and punches the wall, causing Juju and me to flinch from the impact. I gaze up into his fiery blue eyes that are immersed in disgust and frustration and then down at his hand which is red and starting to bruise. My heart hurts seeing him like this. I wonder what he sees in my eyes right now. Sadness? Anger? I struggle to find words. I desperately want all of this to go away.

  “It’s crazy, isn’t it? All of it actually,” I say, trying to maintain a semblance of composure in my voice.

  “We’re going to get through this,” he breathes painfully. It’s more of a question than a statement. I instantly feel tired. I want to curl up in a ball and just fall asleep and wake up next to Reed. Alone. Just the two of us. “Baby, let’s leave now. We can talk about it. We need to figure this out.”

  I can’t stand the look in his eyes. I walk right over to him, take his face in my hands and stare into his eyes. A tear slips from his eye, and I gently wipe it away with my thumb and delicately kiss his cheek. He stops talking and wraps his arm around my waist. I watch his eyes shift from panic to passionate in seconds when his skin touches mine.

  “I can’t do this right now. I need to just have a little girl time to sort things out,” I whisper.

  He inhales a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling for a few seconds. Lowering his eyes to mine, he pulls me against his body. I breathe against him. My resolve is wavering.

  “Elle, please tell me you believe me. I don’t think I can live with the fact that you turned me away from you.”

  “I want to. I do, but I need to do this.” He gazes at me wistfully, running his fingers down my arm. I nestle into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “But...”

  “Not together...not now,” I say as a tear rolls down my cheek. “I love you.” I squeeze him tighter, praying that we will get through this.

  “I love you, too.”

  Juju takes my arm as she glances up at her brother. “She’ll be okay, Reed. I’ll call you. Don’t worry about anything.”

  “I’m worried,” he mumbles, swallowing back his anger.

  “I don’t know what else to say,” I whisper.

  “Say we’ll get through this. The test will prove it. Just don’t push me away.” The sadness in his voice seizes my heart, and I stop and turn back to him. He walks over to where I am standing and leans in close, taking my face in his hands. He kisses me desperately and tenderly with emotion and pain that I feel throughout my entire body. He pauses as his lips hover over mine and he breathes softly. “Don’t leave me again.” His eyes frantically search my face, waiting for my words.

  “I know you’re upset, but please, just go with Tommy for now.” I bring his face to mine again and close my eyes. “We will get through this,” I say. I have to believe we will. I have to believe those words.

  Finishing off another shot, I pay my tab and push through the crowd to escape. I have to get the hell out of here. I have nothing to celebrate anymore. I slam through the doors, letting the mild October air hit my hot, sweaty skin. Now, I may have fucked up again with this latest news of Mindy’s pregnancy. I can’t be the damn father. Not that I don’t want to be a father someday, just not like this and not with her.

  “Fuck, man, you’ve got yourself into a whole mess of shit,” Tommy says, jogging up next to me.

  “Shut the fuck up.” I cringe, staring at the red-brick facade of the building. Should I go after her? I thrust my hands into my hair in aggravation and stare up into the moonless sky. What the fuck! How the hell did this happen? I should have kept my dick inside my pants. I’ve got to move. I’ve got to do something, but what?

  My legs start carrying me in no particular direction. The wind whips at my skin as I pass bars filled with fans celebrating the Red Sox victory, bumping into inebriated assholes who are trying to flip over cars and vandalize property. Figuring I can join the festivities at hand, I take out my frustrations on a couple of vehicles and brick walls of vacant buildings. I’m immune to the physical pain, but not to the pain that’s making a home in my heart.

  “Where are we going?” Tommy asks.

  “I don’t fucking know,” I grit, watching the buildings melt into brown and black smudges with only the sounds of our footsteps against the concrete, cars passing by and the faint screaming of fans in the distance. I don’t know how much time passes. I check my phone, hoping that Juju texted me, telling me that it is okay to come home so that I can somehow talk my way out of this with Elle. What can I say? There may be a chance that I am the father? Am I ready to be a father? What would that mean for my future with Elle? My football career? It changes a lot of things for me.

  “Got any advice for me, man?” I mumble, staring at the cracks in the concrete and never breaking my stride.

  “She just needs time to think,” Tommy encourages, wrenching me away from the chaos in my brain and shoving me back into real time.

  “Think so?” I ask, seeing a sliver of light somewhere. It’s faint, but it’s there. It’s more like a candle and any draft or breeze will snuff out the light.

  “No doubt. Finding out your man could be a father is some major shit, don’t cha think?” he counters.

  “Thanks, man.” I agree, nodding my head. “I need the hard truth this time. This is huge,” I reply, finally lifting me head.

  A brightly lit tattoo parlor on the Boston University campus catches my eye, spilling light across the sidewalk. The door is covered in posters and old, faded stickers. I don’t think twice about my sudden plans. I swing open the dense door and enter as the radio blares one of Crimzen’s songs. I’ve decided to get a couple of ta
ttoos tonight. The way I see it, either Elle and I will be together after all of this shit, or she’s going to be a permanent reminder of the love I lost and will never regain.

  Ace, a brawny guy sporting a frohawk and heavy scruff with numerous military tats on his arms finishes my first tattoo in about an hour. He starts tracing the design for my second tattoo on my bicep when Tommy’s phone starts chirping.

  “Answer that!” I exclaim as Ace places the needle onto my skin again.

  “Yeah, man, relax,” Tommy says, scanning his phone and shaking his head.

  “What?” I frown, glancing over at Tommy. “Something wrong?” I ask, desperately ready to spring off the table.

  “She just said not yet. She needs a little more time.”

  “Oh fuck,” I groan, closing my eyes. “I might as well pack up my shit and leave.”

  “Dude, chill or you’re gonna make me fuck this design up.” Ace laughs, pulling the needle away from my skin. “What the fuck has you all riled up?”

  “Sorry, man.” I look down at him and try to smile through the anger, the pain, and a whole mess of other emotions that I can’t grasp right now. “A girl.”

  “Elle,” he says.

  “How’d you guess?” I ask sarcastically, checking out my new tattoo. She can’t leave me now.

  “Sorry to hear it,” he replies, placing the buzzing needle back onto my skin. “I can’t help you there. I’m no good with relationship advice.” He chuckles as the dog tags around his neck clink together.

  “Yeah, it seems like I’m not good with relationships either.” I frown, staring up at the dingy brown tiles on the ceiling. I can’t go through another situation like this with her. I’m not going to walk away from this, and she can’t either. I’ll fight for her; I’ll breathe my last breath for her. I know she loves me. I know she feels it, believes it, needs it and wants it just as much as I do.