Color of Forgiveness

by Madeleine Beckett

  “Sorry to interrupt,” she hears a male voice say, “but, Myra? Do you plan on going to the hospital?”

  She opens her eyes to see Officer Garcia staring at her. She looks up at Dylan and he nods, and she has to agree with him. Physically, she feels fine, but emotionally she’s a wreck. She’d feel a lot better knowing that the baby was okay as well.

  Looking back at the officer, she nods.

  “Okay. If you’d like, I can escort you two there,” he says as he glances between the two of them. “Then afterward, we’d like to take your statements, if that’s all right. The police are going to be here for a while collecting evidence.”

  She looks back up at Dylan and he nods, raising his eyebrows questioningly. She nods back.

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” Dylan tells him.

  “Great,” Officer Garcia says. “My car is over here.” Dylan’s arm stays around her as they follow him to his squad car. Dylan opens the door for her and helps her inside. She sits in the middle of the seat, wanting to be as close to him as possible. Dylan gets in, curling his arm around her shoulders and resting his other hand in her lap. Wanting the comfort of his skin against hers, she immediately reaches for his hand and holds it in both of hers.

  The only light in the back of the police car comes from the occasional street light they pass. After staring down at their clasped hands for a moment, she looks up at him. “Why did you show up at the house? I thought you were on your way to Boise?”

  His face grows serious. “I was,” he whispers. “But I couldn’t leave you… not until I told you some things.”

  “What things?”

  He lifts his hand from her lap and touches her cheek. “I needed to apologize… for pretty much everything I’ve done and said since I found out about the baby. I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I got scared and shit and I acted like a total ass. Can you forgive me?”

  Smiling, she reaches her hand up to touch his scruffy jaw. “Of course I forgive you,” she whispers. He grabs her hand and holds it in his as he kisses her knuckles, his lips lingering on her skin as he stares deep into her eyes.

  “Thank you,” he says. “But there’s more.”

  The expression on his face makes Myra’s heart pound. She raises her eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

  He lowers her hand, pressing it against his chest as he leans closer to her. She can feel his heart pounding through his thin shirt. “I’m in love with you,” he whispers. “I’m so in love with you that it almost fucking killed me to drive away from you. I had to come back to tell you.”

  A small gasp escapes her as her heart begins to race and a warm tingling sensation begins growing inside of her. Her eyes fill with tears. “You, y-you love me?” she whispers.

  He smiles. “So much... so fucking much…”

  She closes her eyes for a second as a tear slips out. Opening her eyes, she squeezes his hand still cradled in his, tucked close to his heart. “I love you too, Dylan. I love you so much.”

  Groaning, his warm lips find hers, so soft, so gentle… almost reverent. He pulls back slightly, his tear-filled eyes roving over her face, her lips. “I love you,” he whispers. She breathes in his words and his warm breath, completely lost… so lost in him... lost in his words. Lost in this all-consuming love she feels for him.

  “I love you too,” she breathes back before her lips touch his again.

  Someone clears their throat loudly. “Um, we’re here,” Officer Garcia announces.

  Reluctantly, she pulls away from Dylan’s mouth. Her eyelids feel heavy as she tries to look out the window and realizes they’re at the hospital.

  Looking back up at Dylan, she watches as a huge smile breaks out on his face. He looks so happy it makes her grin back just as big. He sneaks in a quick kiss on her lips before he opens the door and helps her out, entwining their fingers together.

  “Thanks for the ride,” Dylan says to Officer Garcia.

  “Sure. Not a problem.”

  “I need a few minutes alone with Myra so…” Dylan hedges.

  “Oh. Okay. I’ll just go on in. I’ll be in the waiting area,” he says with a nod before he walks towards the entrance of the hospital.

  Dylan tugs her back into his arms. “I know we still have a lot of things to talk about and shit, but I need to warn you about something.”

  Myra frowns. “Okay…”

  “I might blow the fuck up when I find out everything that happened at your house tonight so I’m just giving you a heads up.”

  Myra nods and grins, unable to force herself to be serious. Dylan grins back.

  “But I need you to know that I’m all in with you. I’m giving you all of myself. I know I can be a real asshole, and I guarantee you that I’m going to fuck things up along the way. Possibly in the next five minutes…” he says, smiling as his fingers brush against her cheek. “And I know I’ll probably drive you up the fucking wall with how protective I get over this baby and just mess all kinds of shit up so I wanna apologize in advance.”

  Myra giggles, brimming with joy and happiness as her eyes well up.

  He smiles again before his face grows serious. She can feel his fingers still lingering on her cheek. “But if you think you can put up with me, I need you to know that… I want you. I want you so damn much to be with me. And I want this baby.”

  Myra closes her eyes and smiles, letting those precious words sink in. Seep into her skin and work their way right into her heart and finally into her soul. She opens her eyes and tries to get closer to him, pressing her fingers against his chest. “I want you, too,” she whispers. “I want all of you. I’ll take everything you can give me, even the broken pieces.”

  His eyes are soft as he stares deep into hers. “You have me, all of me,” he whispers, swallowing hard. “You’re putting all my broken shit back together again.”

  She closes her eyes, tears streaking down her cheeks. When she opens them, he stares at her for a long moment, his eyes lingering on her mouth before he leans in, touching his lips softly to hers.

  * * *

  “There’s the yolk sac,” the nurse says as she points to the little blob on the screen. Dylan squeezes Myra’s hand and turns to look at her face. Her eyes are literally sparkling and dotted with tears as she stares at the screen. He smiles lifting her hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles, holding her hand against his cheek.

  She turns her head towards him, and he can see the gold flecks in her eyes. He leans closer. “That’s our baby,” he whispers.

  She smiles radiantly and eagerly nods. As his eyes stay on hers, he brings her knuckles back to his lips and kisses them again. Smiling, he lowers her hand and presses it to his heart. A tear leaks from the corner of her eye. “Don’t cry,” he whispers.

  She laughs and it kind of comes out as a half-sob. She smiles as she wipes at her face. “These are happy tears,” she tells him. “The happiest tears, ever.”

  Leaning forward, he touches her lips with his. “I’m happy too,” he whispers.

  She smiles and squeezes his hand back.

  “Well, let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat,” the nurse says. “It’s still quite early in your pregnancy so don’t be alarmed if we don’t hear one yet, okay?”

  Dylan’s heart rate picks up. He just hopes like hell that they hear one otherwise he’s going to sit around worrying about that shit. Besides, Myra doesn’t need any more shit to worry about for like the next century. He looks at her and watches as her eyes stay glued to the monitor, her expression serious.

  A loud, thrumming beat fills the room. “Oh, there it is,” the nurse says, smiling.

  Myra gasps, her eyes darting to Dylan’s. A shaky laugh leaves his lips, the sound of that heartbeat is one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard. Watching Myra’s glowing face, his eyes start to sting and burn. That heart.... that strong, rapid beat that he hears echoing in the room is a new life, and it belongs to Mel’s brother or sister.

  Mel.

  His e
yes look up to the ceiling, and his lips begin to tremble. Dylan has never believed in God and heaven and shit like that, but for just a moment… just one moment, he hopes. He hopes that somewhere in a beautiful, happy place, hidden way beyond the stars, Mel is looking down at him at this very moment. I love you son, he mouths as he continues to look up and tears slip down his cheeks. Myra sobs and he looks down at her, quickly wiping his eyes. He nods at her reassuringly and scoots closer.

  I love you, he mouths to her, unable to get the words out.

  Her lips quiver as the tears fall. I love you, too, she mouths back.

  “Well, the heartbeat sounds perfect,” the nurse says as she begins cleaning up and putting the equipment away. “The doctor will come in later and talk to you more, but everything looks really good so far.”

  The nurse pats Myra on the leg. “I’ll just let you get dressed now. The doctor will be with you shortly.” She smiles before leaving the room.

  Dylan roughly rubs at his cheeks as Myra sits up. He holds her hand, helping her down from the exam table before he pulls her into his arms, hugging her close and burying his nose in her hair. They simply cling to each other. Words aren’t necessary. Words are meaningless. There are no words capable of describing this moment.

  * * *

  Myra feels Dylan tugging on her hand as he pulls her away from the nurse’s station. “Do you want to go give our statements and get that shit over with before we go see Porter and Sabrina?” he asks.

  “Yeah,” she says as she nods, thankful that Officer Garcia already told them that Porter and Sabrina would both be okay. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “Okay.” His brows crease. “Do you mind if I go in with you?”

  “Of course I don’t mind… I want you in there. But are you sure? There’s going to be a lot of stuff you’re not going to want to hear.”

  “I know,” he says, taking in a deep breath, “but I need to hear it. I need to know everything. Forgive me in advance because I’ll probably get really fucking pissed, but I’ll try to control myself.”

  Myra can’t help but smile because she knows his temper all too well. “Okay. Just remember, you can always leave if you need a break or something, all right?”

  He grins. “Are you giving me permission to go out in the hallway and punch the shit out of something?”

  “Yeah,” she says with a smile, “something like that. Just don’t hit anything expensive.”

  He laughs. “I can’t make any promises.”

  They walk to the waiting room and find Officer Garcia. He arranges to take their statements in a hospital conference room.

  Myra bites back a smile when Dylan positions his chair touching hers. He holds her hand firmly as she begins retelling the ordeal of what happened with Rhonda. She stops talking when she feels him stiffen next to her. Her eyes drop to his other hand clenched on his knee which he rapidly bounces up and down.

  “You okay?” she asks. She studies his face and rubs his hand between both of hers. The tops of his cheekbones are pink, and his lips are pressed into a grim line. His eyes find hers before giving her a curt nod.

  “Are you sure? Do you need a break?” she asks again.

  He shakes his head. She watches him carefully for a minute or two before she finally continues on with the story.

  Dylan then explains how he happened to see Sabrina, brought her with him to Myra’s house, and everything that happened after that.

  “All right,” Officer Garcia says turning off the small recording device and tucking it into his pocket. “We should be good. Once Rhonda recovers from her physical injuries, she’ll be given a psych evaluation, and there will be a sanity hearing to determine whether she’s fit to stand trial.” He looks at Myra. “If she doesn’t pass, she’ll be put in a hospital for the rest of her life where she can get the treatment that she needs. I’ll be in contact and keep you updated on how things progress, okay?”

  They shake hands and Officer Garcia leaves the room. Myra turns to look at Dylan, but he surprises her by sweeping her into his arms, his lips moving heatedly all over her face. “I could have lost you,” he whispers, his voice husky. “That bitch could have taken away everything that’s important to me.”

  She reaches up and grabs his face in her hands. “But she didn’t. I’m fine and I’m here and I love you.”

  “I love you. That’s why I’m so fucking angry right now. You’re the goddamn bravest woman I know.”

  Myra smiles proudly. “I told you I could take care of myself.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I doubted you.” Dylan sighs and looks at the door. “I need to call my mom to check on Natalie before we go see Porter and Sabrina.”

  “Of course…”

  “Jesus, I need a fucking cigarette,” he mumbles as he digs his fingers deep into his hair.

  “Go ahead,” she tells him. “I’ll stay here and wait on you.”

  “Nah… fuck it. I’m not leaving you.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sits down at the table again. “Come here,” he says, tugging on Myra’s hand and pulling her into his lap. He quickly hits speed dial.

  “I’m gonna put this on speaker so you can hear too, all right?”

  Myra nods.

  “Dylan?” Sherri says, answering.

  “Hey, mom, Myra’s here with me. I’ve got you on speaker.”

  “Oh. Hi, Myra,” Sherri says. “How are you?”

  “I’m good,” Myra tells her. Dylan cocks an eyebrow at her, and she smiles and shrugs lightly.

  “That’s great to hear.”

  “How’s Natalie?” Dylan asks.

  “The bleeding still hasn’t stopped so they’re prepping her right now for a hysterectomy.”

  Myra’s mouth drops open as her eyes shoot to Dylan’s. Frowning, his eyes meet hers. He audibly swallows before roughly clearing his throat. “How’s the baby?” he asks.

  “She’s doing well. They put in a temporary feeding tube. They said it’s tiring for her to try to eat, breathe, and grow all at the same time. So the tube will help her focus on just breathing and growing right now.”

  Dylan hums in agreement. “I’ll let you know when I can come, but it may not be tonight. Some things have happened here. Just… tell everyone I love them, okay?”

  “I sure will. Is everything all right?”

  “Yeah...” He smirks and gives Myra a shrug. “Everything’s good now.”

  “Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye, Dylan. Bye, Myra.”

  They both murmur their goodbyes, and Dylan closes his phone. Myra starts to get up, but he holds her on his lap. “What are we going to do tonight?” he asks. “You don’t want to stay at your house, do you?”

  Myra eyes widen as she shakes her head vigorously. No way does she want to stay at that house right now… maybe even never.

  “Good because I kind of want to kidnap you and just disappear.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  He looks off to the side for a moment, his brows furrowed before looking back at her. “What if we go to Boise and just stay there for a while? I think we both need to get the fuck away from this town.”

  She smiles. “I’d love that… and that way we could visit Natalie and the baby and be close to your family.”

  “We could get a room and just relax and spend some time together.”

  She eagerly nods.

  His smile dims until he’s frowning. “But, are you up for leaving tonight? It’s late and you’ve been through so much today…”

  “I’m fine… as long as I’m with you.”

  Dylan stares deep into her eyes before his gaze drops to her lips. Her mouth opens slightly when his hand tangles in her hair, bringing her closer. He stares into her eyes and back down again at her lips again before he pulls her to him and covers her mouth with his. They’re so warm and soft, moving gently against hers, the scruff of his beard biting deliciously into her skin. But within moments, he pulls back his eyes still focused on her lips fo
r a moment as he runs his thumb lightly over them, causing her to shiver. “We’d better go see Porter before I lose control of myself,” he says, his voice a little raspy.

  She grins and slips off his lap. “Do you remember the room number?” she asks.

  “Yeah…”

  He holds her hand while they walk down the hallway. When they get to Porter’s room, Dylan knocks on the open door and calls out “Hello?” before they step inside.

  “Come in,” Porter says in a hoarse voice.

  Myra’s brows crease as she steps up next to him lying in the hospital bed. “How are you feeling?” she asks softly. Dylan wraps his arm around her waist, keeping her close.

  “A little like Rip van Winkle,” he says with a frown, touching his forehead. “My head’s still a bit cloudy.”

  “I can only imagine,” Myra says, nodding.

  “Garcia came in and told me everything,” Porter says. “I’m really sorry, Myra. I’ve known Rhonda Neil for many years.” His thick eyebrows pull together as he shakes his head. “She came by the station at least a couple times a week always bringing the staff something she’d baked. I knew she had a hard time after her husband died,” he says before pulling in a shaky breath, “but I had no idea how sick she’d become.”

  “I was watching the game when she knocked on the door. She said she was driving by, saw my car and thought she’d drop off some cookies. I honestly didn’t think a thing about it.”

  He reaches for her hand. “Your dad would be so disappointed in me. I really let you down. I was supposed to protect you, and I completely failed.”

  Myra’s eyes tear up. “No, you didn’t. Dad would be so proud of you. You’ve been there for me over the years when he couldn’t be.” Dylan’s hand squeezes her waist as she tries to bite back tears. “There’s no way you could have known about her. I’m alive and well so no guilt, okay?”

  Porter stares at her for a moment before smiling and squeezing her hand. “Okay.”

  * * *

  Dylan stops in front of the closed door of Sabrina’s room and looks down at Myra. “You sure you wanna do this? You don’t have to.”

  “Yes, I do,” she says.