Color of Forgiveness

by Madeleine Beckett

  “That’s just awful,” Jackie says. “I feel so responsible. It’s all my fault, I—”

  “It’s not your fault so quit trying to take the blame for it. Don’t you see? She was stalking us. She would have gotten the information she wanted some other way. It wouldn’t have stopped her. If you hadn’t said a single word to her, it wouldn’t have mattered. She’d have still come after us. She’d have just done something different. She even had Porter fooled and everyone at the station… She’s sick and she needs help.”

  Myra can hear Jackie sniffing. “I guess you’re right. But I’m having a really hard time with all of this. She seemed so nice. She came in all the time and was so friendly. She always brought something sweet that she’d made. She even helped me work on setting up the window display for the store. I just, I really thought that I knew her. And the whole time, she was just using me. I feel sick over it. I feel like I should have noticed something was off about her, but all I remember is her being so nice. Whenever she asked me questions about you two, she just acted concerned and friendly.

  “You could have been killed because of me, Myra. You could have died. What if you had died? What would I do without you?” Jackie says, sobbing.

  Myra’s eyes tear up. “But I didn’t die. You can’t think like that because you’ll drive yourself crazy. You have to focus on the positives…” She swallows the lump in her throat and looks up at Dylan. His face is so soft and tender, his eyes filled with nothing but love. It gives her the courage she needs. She clears her throat. “Jackie, there’s something I need to tell you.” She lifts her hand and touches Dylan’s scruffy jaw. And you, she mouths. His brows knit together in confusion. “That night, when I was upstairs, I told everybody that I went downstairs to check on Porter and that’s when I saw Rhonda. But that’s not quite how it happened.” Dylan’s eyebrows draw together even more.

  She keeps her eyes on his as she tells both of them her experience with Grampie whispering in her ear. “So no matter what, a higher power was at work. Someone was watching out for me that day and keeping me safe.

  “Jackie, your grandpa used to talk to me all the time about fate and destiny. He believed in it and so do I. If I hadn’t heard that sound, I wouldn’t have left my room. And I wouldn’t be here right now. But it wasn’t my time. Someone was protecting me.

  “I’m telling you all of this because I truly believe that no matter what you would have done or not done, Jackie, the outcome would have been the same. Grampie would have saved me because that was my destiny.”

  Dylan’s concerned frown has been replaced with only softness. I love you, he mouths as his hand ghosts over her hair, her face, her shoulder.

  I love you, she mouths back as a tear slips down her cheek. Dylan carefully brushes it away with his thumb.

  “Myra. That…” Jackie pauses, sniffing loudly. “I just, I don’t even know what to say. I absolutely believe in the paranormal and spirits and ghosts. They’re all around us. I feel Grandpa around me all the time. I just know it was Grampie that spoke to you. It had to be. He loved you so much, he had to come back. I bet he could somehow sense the danger. Maybe he even saw it! Maybe he was watching you and saw her outside the house and knew what she was going to do. He protected you. My best friend had a visit from the other side!” Jackie shouts. Myra wonders if she’s clapping and jumping up and down as well. “I can’t believe you had a paranormal experience. Have you ever had a séance? I’ve always wanted to try one.”

  Myra just smiles and shakes her head in amusement. “Uh, no... Definitely not.”

  “Oh, neither have I. We’ll so have to do that together some time. It would be so much fun.”

  Myra decides to change the subject and fast because she wouldn’t have a séance with Jackie even if she was dead. “Are you back in Nyssa?”

  “No. I’m still in Boise.”

  “So am I. I’m here with Dylan. Right after you left, his sister-in-law had her baby prematurely.”

  “You’re in Boise? Oh my god. We have to get together. This is so perfect. Wait. You’re back with Dylan? You guys made up? Did he apologize and finally get his act together?”

  “Uh, I don’t know about the apology thing, but yeah, we’re very back together.” Myra can’t stop the word forever as it floats easily through her thoughts, bringing a sense of calm with it. “We made up and everything’s perfect.”

  Dylan smiles and leans down to kiss her forehead.

  “Well, as long as you’re happy, I guess I’ll try to tolerate him,” Jackie says with a giggle as Myra joins in. “I could tell you were really miserable and sad without him, and I hated seeing you like that. But if he does anything stupid, I won’t hold back going off on him.”

  “So are you still supposed to sign the papers on the bookstore this week?”

  “No… didn’t you hear? Rhonda was behind the whole thing. She was the anonymous person that was going to buy it. All she was trying to do was get me out of town and away from you.”

  “Oh no… What are you going to do?”

  “Well, I’ve been talking to mom and dad, and I’ve pretty much decided that I’m going to go ahead and still put it up for sale. And I’m going to see if I can find someone to rent the house as well. Mom and dad said they’d loan me the money to get my new store up and running in Boise. They tried to give me the money, but I wouldn’t let them. I’ll pay them back either when I sell the bookstore or start making money with the new store.”

  “That sounds like a good plan.”

  “Yeah, I’m excited about it. So what are you going to do? Are you going to stay in Nyssa?”

  “I honestly don’t know yet.”

  “So where and when can we meet up? Do you guys have plans for today?”

  “Good question. Dylan and I were going to talk about that earlier but didn’t get a chance to. Hang on a second and let me ask him…”

  * * *

  As Dylan walks hand-in-hand with Myra down the hallway of the hospital towards Natalie’s room, he feels different, lighter. Like he’s somehow laid down all of the heavy shit he’s been carrying on his back for the last three years.

  He glances down at Myra, and his lips turn up slightly as he squeezes her hand. Her phone rings and she quickly digs it out of her pocket. “Oh. It’s Porter.”

  “How are you?” she says as soon as she answers it. “Yeah…? That’s so good to hear… yes… Okay... Sure… hang on a second.”

  She looks up at Dylan. “He has an update on Rhonda and wants me to put this on speaker phone so we can both hear.”

  Dylan nods and she hits the speaker phone button. “Okay, Porter. We’re both on here.”

  “Hey, Dylan,” Porter says.

  “Hey. How are you feeling?” Dylan asks.

  “I’m better. Still a little sluggish but I got to go home.”

  “Good…”

  “My guys interviewed Rhonda yesterday, and she pretty much confessed to the whole thing. She’s been following you for months, Dylan. She even followed you to Boise… she told us about the tombstone, I’m really sorry about that by the way.”

  “She did that?” Dylan asks, frowning.

  “Yeah, she then tried to cover up what she’d done by making it look some kids did it instead. She was also behind the break-ins, and the damage done to your car, Myra. She also had this elaborate plan to try to buy Jackie’s bookstore to get her out of town. She thought that if Jackie was gone, you’d go back to Philly, Myra. She’s a sick woman. We found out that she had a mental breakdown about a year ago. They’ve not done any psych testing on her yet, but I did talk to one of her doctor’s, and he said there’s no way she’ll pass one. So it looks like she’ll be going away to a hospital for the rest of her life.”

  “So there won’t be a trial?” Myra asks.

  “Probably not, but we’ll have to see how it all plays out.”

  “Is there any way that she could escape right now?” Dylan asks, frowning.

  “No, it’s
secure. She can’t escape so you both are safe now.”

  “Good.”

  “Well, I’ll let you two go. When I hear anymore, I’ll give you a call.”

  They say their goodbyes and Myra hangs up.

  “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe that bitch was the one that did that shit to Mel’s tombstone. What is wrong with that woman?”

  “I don’t know… But she obviously has to be suffering from some kind of serious mental illness because no one in their right mind would do something like that.”

  “I guess…”

  “Are you okay?” Myra asks, touching his arm.

  “Yeah…” Dylan says, taking in a deep breath. “You ready to go see Nat?”

  Myra nods and he kisses her lightly on the lips before grabbing her hand. When they get to Natalie’s room, he taps lightly on the door. Three different voices shout, “Come in,” all at the same time.

  Pushing the door open, he bites back a groan when he sees his mother charging for Myra. He does love his mother, very much. But he just worries that her ‘loving, motherly, and seriously overbearing’ ways might be a little fucking much for Myra. They’ve just gotten back together and everything’s going so damn well that he’s terrified of anything messing it up. Myra has reassured him that she loves his mom, but she could just be saying that shit because how do you tell a person that his mother gets on your fucking nerves?

  “You look absolutely lovely today,” Sherri says before pulling Myra into a hug. “That color you’re wearing just makes your skin glow.”

  Dylan draws in a deep breath trying to keep his mouth shut, and as he does, he catches sight of Myra’s face. With her eyes closed and her arms wrapped tight around Sherri, the content smile on her face tells him everything. She really does love his mom, and it makes him love her even more.

  “Guess what? Trish is here,” Sherri says in an excited voice.

  Dylan looks up to see his sister walking towards him. “Hey,” he says with a smile, giving her a hug. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “I know. I’ve missed you. How have you been?”

  “Good.”

  “Trish?” Sherri says, interrupting. “This is Myra, Dylan’s girlfriend, the one I’ve been telling you so much about. Isn’t she just beautiful?”

  “Mom…” Dylan growls. Trish laughs and pokes Dylan in the ribs.

  “Hi, Myra, it’s wonderful to meet you. And yes, you are quite beautiful and I’m afraid it’s true, my mother has not shut up once talking about you.”

  Myra giggles. “It’s wonderful to meet you too.”

  “Did you guys sleep okay?” Sherri asks Myra still hanging onto her arm. “I know the bed in that hotel can’t be comfortable at all, and I’m certain their sheets can’t be as soft as the sheets I have at home. I just bought some Egyptian cotton sheets that are to die for.”

  Myra’s smiling eyes find his, and they exchange a ‘knowing’ look. “The bed was fine, mom,” Dylan says.

  “Ma, give it a rest. They want their damn privacy,” Chad shouts from a corner chair. “So they can ride the skin bus to tuna town. Jesus, it’s gonna be a long fucking time until I get a ticket on that bus…” Chad says longingly before he slumps back down in his chair.

  “Chad!” Sherri yells before turning to Myra and profusely apologizing. Myra’s eyes meet his again. He shakes his head and mouths, sorry, but has to grin when she can’t seem to stop giggling.

  “Chad, if you don’t shut your mouth, you’ll never get a ticket on that bus, ever again. No tickets. They’ll be so expensive you’ll never be able to afford them, ever. Do you hear me?” Natalie shouts.

  Nick, who is sitting next to Chad in the corner, starts cracking up.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t raise the price of those damn tickets. They’re high enough as it is,” Chad begs Nat in a small voice.

  Dylan grabs Myra’s hand and tugs her over to an empty chair next to Natalie’s bed. He sits down and pulls her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her.

  “Myra, I’m so sorry,” Natalie says. “The only way to tame my husband’s tongue is to strap a child to him. When we get Jilly home, he’s going to be wearing her in a Snuggly for hours on end, I promise you.”

  Chad’s eyes grow huge. “No, not the Snuggly… oh shit. Please, baby, anything but that damn Snuggly.”

  “Oh yes,” she tells him, with an evil smirk. “And it’s going to be way worse this time around because the Snuggly won’t be blue. It’ll be pink with bows all over it.”

  “Oh fuck,” Chad mumbles. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

  Everyone in the room starts chuckling.

  Chad stands up. “Men, I need some fucking chow to make this puke feeling go away, you in?”

  Nick stands. “I’m in,” he says before he looks at Myra. “And hello again. Sorry I didn’t get to say it sooner, but it’s been quite loud in here.”

  Myra giggles and waves to Nick as Chad yells out, “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Dr. Spock. Myra, have you seen how big Nick’s ears are?”

  Dylan ignores him and leans his head towards Myra’s ear. “Do you mind if I go?” he asks, rubbing her arm lightly.

  “No, not at all,” Myra says, with a smile as she stands.

  “Okay. We’ll go see the baby when I get back.”

  Dylan stands and with his hands on Myra’s waist, looks down at Natalie. “You look good… you feeling any better?” he asks Natalie as Myra leans back against his chest.

  “Better in some ways… They’ve been making me sit up and move around, which is good, but extremely painful.”

  Dylan nods.

  “Let’s go, bro,” Chad shouts from the door.

  “I’ll be back in a few,” he mumbles as he kisses Myra on the cheek.

  Once the three men get out in the hallway, Dylan turns to Chad. “Do you always have to say shit like that around Myra? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you always have to act like a damn 12-year-old?”

  “You know my mouth, bro. I open it and shit flies out. I swear to fuck I have no damn control over it, dude. Besides, if your baby girl is gonna be part of our family, she needs to get used to it because that’s who I am. She is gonna be part of our family, right?”

  Dylan frowns when he gets into the elevator, and Chad and Nick both stare at him.

  “Yeah,” Dylan barks back. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “So you’re gonna marry her?” Chad asks.

  “No. Not that this shit is any of your damn business, but I told her that I didn’t want to get married again. So she already knows.”

  “Are you fucking insane?” Chad shouts. “Myra is the type of girl that you marry and keep forever, bro. She shouldn’t have to suffer because it didn’t work out with you and Sabrina.”

  A crease forms in Dylan’s forehead. He’s never thought of it like that before. The elevator doors open, and they exit.

  Chad immediately changes the subject. “Bros, you know I hate seeing my Nat in pain and shit, but I’m so fucking thankful that she had to have a hysterectomy.”

  “Jesus,” Dylan says while Nick just laughs and shakes his head.

  “No. Get this, Nick,” Chad says. “Dylan already knows this. She was gonna make me get clipped. Like a fucking dog. She was gonna make me lose my manhood. Rid me of my swimmers. But now I can keep my manliness, and my fucking nads,” he says as he grabs himself.

  “You’re not gonna need your nads with the way your mouth’s been running lately,” Dylan says. “The closest you’re gonna get to Natalie is a date with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters.” Dylan raises his hand and wiggles his fingers at Chad as both he and Nick start laughing.

  “He’ll have to molest the mole,” Nick adds before holding his knuckles out for Dylan to bump.

  “Ah, fuck you both,” Chad grunts. “At least I’ll still have my hairy buckeyes intact.”

  * * *

  Natalie looks at Myra. “Chad and Sher
ri told me what all you went through in Nyssa. You have to be the bravest person I’ve ever met. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good and the baby’s good. I’m still a little shaken up about the whole thing, but…” Myra shrugs.

  “Of course you would be,” Sherri says reaching her hand over and grabbing Myra’s. “You’ve been through a traumatic experience. You just need to give yourself some time.”

  “Since I had Jillian, we haven’t had a chance to talk, but with the way you two have been beaming at each other, I can see that things are going good. I’m guessing that almost losing you woke Dylan up and knocked some sense into him, am I right?”

  Myra nods. “Yeah, you could say that.”

  “I knew he’d come around,” Sherri says as she pats Myra’s hand.

  “So he’s accepted the baby?” Natalie asks.

  “Definitely,” Myra says, nodding. “When I went to the hospital to get checked out, he was with me. They did an ultrasound, and, well, I guess you could say we had a moment. It was really special. He made it very clear that he was going to be there for me and for the baby. He’s scared and he told me that he knew he was going to make mistakes and probably be overprotective, but he, he even broke down…” Myra looks down at her lap as her eyes begin to flood with tears. Sherri stands up and grabs the Kleenex box.

  “Give me one,” Natalie says as she holds her hand out.

  “Give me one too,” Trish says.

  Myra wipes her eyes while Sherri passes around the Kleenex. “It’s just, I know this pregnancy was an accident, and when I found out, I knew it would hurt him so much. But now… to see him so happy…? It’s just beyond anything I could have hoped for. Even though he’s scared, I can see that he loves this baby already. It just makes me so emotional when I think about everything he’s been through.”

  “He has been through so much,” Sherri says. Myra looks up at her and sees her cheeks are wet with tears. “What happened to him changed him. In a lot of ways, it changed us all. It almost killed me when I lost Mel. I loved that little boy so much, and for a while, I didn’t think I would ever recover from it. But I had other grandchildren who needed my love as well. So I was able to shower them with my affection and let them help me with my grief, but Dylan didn’t have that. He lost everything.” Sherri stops and blows her nose.