Color of Forgiveness

by Madeleine Beckett

  “You can talk to me about anything at any time. Always remember that.”

  He nods. “Good. Do you wanna live in Nyssa?”

  “Uh, I don’t know…”

  “I mean, I want you to live with me, but I want to know if you want to live in Nyssa or have you ever thought about Boise? I was thinking I might wanna move back here to be closer to my family and shit, but if you don’t want to do that, I’ll stay with you in Nyssa or Philly or wherever just as long as we’re together.”

  “I’d love to move with you to Boise,” she says with a big grin.

  Dylan’s grin matches hers. “You would?”

  “Absolutely…”

  “I’m only renting my place so I can leave any time, but what about your house?”

  “Well, it’s paid for so I don’t have to be in any hurry to make a decision about it right now. I could maybe see about renting it out or something.”

  He smirks. “So you’ll just pack up and move with me.”

  She smiles and nods. “Yes, I will.”

  “That makes me really fucking happy.” He leans in and kisses her softly. But he pulls back after a moment and frowns a little. “When you said forever, did you mean that?”

  She nods. “I did.”

  “Well, I know I told you that I didn’t want to get married again, but I was thinking…” he says, making Myra’s heart stop. Her mouth drops open because surely he wouldn’t ask her right here… His eyes get big. “Wait,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “This isn’t a proposal.” Myra can almost feel her heart sink. “Jesus, what I’m trying to say is that when I said that, I was thinking about the past. I wasn’t thinking about being married to… you, I guess. So I just wanted to tell you that, well, I think I’d like to be married to you some day. Not right away of course because we’re just getting back together and shit, and I’m a fucking asshole for screwing all of this shit up but… what do you think?”

  Myra smiles and touches his chest. “So is this a non-proposal before the proposal?”

  Dylan grins back. “Yep, it sure is.”

  “And you want an answer to your non-proposal before the proposal?”

  “Yeah…” Dylan nods, still smiling.

  “Hmm… I’ll have to think about it because I’m not sure…”

  “Woman…”

  “Okay,” Myra says with a laugh. “My answer is yes, I might say yes to a real proposal from you in the future. You’ll just have to ask me some time and see what happens.”

  “I will take you up on that… someday,” he promises before his lips touch hers again.

  * * *

  “He what? He told you he loved you in the back of a police car?” Susie shouts. “You seriously need to star in a reality show or something. What a kick-ass story you’ll have to tell your grandkids. I’m totally hating on you right now.”

  “Sorry,” Myra says with a giggle.

  “But the whole ultrasound thing is the kicker for me. That was so beautiful it brought a tear to me eye. You deserved that, honeybun, especially after all the mountains of crap you’ve been through lately. Do you know what Jeff said at my very first ultrasound?”

  “No. What?”

  “He said and I quote, ‘What’s that weird blob?’ So the nurse told him it was the baby, and he said and I quote again, ‘Uh, that ain’t my baby’. You should have seen the nurse’s face. Yeah, he made the moment so tender and touching.”

  “At least it was memorable,” Myra says with a laugh.

  “True. Guess what happened at work today?” Susie says with a squeal.

  “What?”

  “Trent got fired!” she shouts at the top of her lungs.

  “No!”

  “Yes! That shithead is out of my life for good.” Susie makes a lot of whooping celebration-like noises. “Lori was the one that told me. I guess it was due to ‘restructuring’ or whatever. Anyway, this story is so freaking funny. Lori came into my cubicle and told me she had a secret and that I had to keep quiet. So she whispered in my ear, ‘Trent’s getting fired today,’ and I jumped out of my seat and did all of this silent yelling and cha-chings and victory cheers. Then I really started getting into it dancing a jig and getting my groove on like one of those old timey silent movies, and you know my fat ass can’t dance worth poop.

  “So anyway, I started doing this kind of Travolta-like thingy with my arm. Then I just started shaking my fat fanny, while I was mouthing words like ‘oh yeah that fucker’s gone’, and it made Lori catch the fever. So she got up close to me in my cubicle and started shaking her ass. She threw her hip up next to me so we could do ‘the bump’ thing, and I was so revved up and into it, my hips went swinging to bump with hers, and that skinny bitch went flying out of my cubicle and fell flat on her face. I have to fatten that bony chick up.”

  Myra laughs. “That’s hilarious. Wow. I still can’t believe that he’s gone.”

  “I know, isn’t it sweet? Justice has been served.”

  * * *

  “Uncle Dylan?” Jay says.

  “Yeah?”

  “Wanna play X-box with us?” he asks with Jackson standing next to him.

  “Not until your homework’s done,” Sherri shouts from the kitchen.

  Jay’s eyes widen. “How’d she hear me?” he whispers to Dylan in amazement.

  “She’s got super hearing,” he says. “It’s a grandma gift. We’ll play after your homework’s done, okay?”

  “Awesome. We’ll hurry,” Jay says. He turns to Jackson. “Race ya,” he shouts before running full speed for the stairs. Dylan chuckles as he watches Jackson take off after him.

  Dylan can hear Myra and Sherri quietly talking in the kitchen while they prepare dinner. His eyes move to Joseph playing quietly on the floor with some toys. He walks over to him and drops down beside him.

  “Mind if I play?”

  Joseph’s eyes meet his for a moment before he shrugs and looks back down at his toys.

  “Who’s this?” Dylan asks as he picks up a toy.

  “That’s Fred,” Joseph says. “Haven’t you ever seen Scooby Doo?”

  Dylan smiles. “Yeah, but it’s been awhile. What’s Fred gonna do?”

  “He’s going to solve the mystery. The gang is looking for clues.”

  “Oh.”

  Joseph puts Shaggy in the van then looks up at Dylan. “Why do you look at me funny?” he asks.

  Dylan frowns. “What do you mean?”

  “Sometimes you stare.”

  Dylan swallows hard. “Oh. Well, that’s because you remind me of someone. Someone that was very special to me.”

  “Mel?”

  Dylan gulps and his eyes widen. “You remember him?” he asks in disbelief.

  Joseph nods. “I remember. Mommy thinks I don’t, but I do. Mommy tells me he went to heaven. Can I go see him?”

  Dylan feels a tight, uncomfortable sensation in his throat. He quickly clears it. “Sure. But I think he wants you to wait a while. You know, to live and do happy stuff. But he’ll be waiting on you.”

  Dylan frowns when he thinks over the words he just said…

  … To live and do happy stuff.

  They’re such simple words, but they hit Dylan hard.

  To him, he has always viewed Joseph as a painful reminder of what he lost, almost like a punishment. That he was for some reason supposed to suffer every time he saw Joseph and be reminded of what he could have had with Mel but never will.

  But for the first time since Mel’s death as he stares down at Joseph, he sees him in a different light. Joseph is a blessing… a gift, a beautiful gift instead of a painful reminder. He can watch his son grow through Joseph, and he knows he’ll never look at him the same again.

  “Is happy stuff like playing?” Joseph asks.

  Dylan smiles and gives him a nod. “It sure is.”

  “Okay. Let’s play,” he says as he hands Dylan Scooby Doo.

  Something catches Dylan’s eye, and he turns towards the kitchen
to see his mom and Myra looking on, both with tears in their eyes. Sherri has her arm wrapped around Myra, and Myra’s hand rests lightly on her stomach.

  He studies both of them for a minute. It’s like his past and his future have somehow converged.

  Intertwined…

  He smiles and nods at his mom to let her know that he’s back. He’s home.

  Then his eyes move to Myra’s and drops to her hand resting on her stomach.

  That’s his future.

  As for Mel, he’ll see his son’s little face again soon enough, he’s certain of that. But for now, he’s just going to live and do happy stuff, with Myra, with his child and with his family… until that day comes.

  CHAPTER 16

  DAFFODIL, ANTICIPATION

  Epilogue 1

  8 Months Later…

  “I just landed. You didn’t have her yet, did you?” Susie hisses into the phone.

  “No,” Myra responds with a snort. “I didn’t have the baby yet.”

  “It’s not a baby… it’s a her.”

  “You don’t know that,” Myra sing-songs.

  Susie makes an annoyed huffing sound. “I would have to have the only best friend in the damn universe who refuses to use the wealth of twenty-first century technology to find out the sex of her baby. Oh, no. She has to drive her best friend batshit crazy and revert to the ways of when the dinosaurs roamed the earth.”

  “Hey, you know that since this baby was such a surprise, Dylan and I wanted the sex to be a surprise—”

  “I know. I know! That still doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off about it.”

  Myra smiles. “It’s fun to annoy you.”

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying my agony because I’m not.”

  “I am,” Myra admits with a giggle.

  “I know you are, and I hate you for it. I swear to God I was completely convinced that you were going to pop her out while I was in the air and I wouldn’t be able to do a daggone thing about it.”

  Myra laughs. “Well, I guess the little conversation you two had before you got on the plane was successful. I still want to know what you said. You better not have said anything mean to my baby.”

  “Pfft. Are you going to keep bringing that crap up? I wasn’t mean. I was just stern in a very godmotherly way. All I did was tell that teeny tiny sweet little baby girl that if she dared to make an early appearance before I could get there for the blessed event, that Susie, her fairy godmother, would give her little virgin tushy a good tannin’.”

  Myra gasps as she rubs her round stomach with a soothing hand. “You threatened my baby with a spanking?”

  “Yes, I most certainly did.”

  “I cannot believe you! I knew you said something mean to my baby.”

  “Let me talk to her again.”

  “No way,” Myra shouts.

  “Please? I’ll apologize.”

  “No.”

  “Come on. Godmother Susie needs to beg the little girlie girl for forgiveness. Please? Please. Please. Please. You know I won’t stop. Please. Please. Please—”

  “Oh, all right. Good grief.” Myra cuts her off in a reluctant, ticked-off voice as she flips on the speaker phone.

  “Put me on your belly button and don’t put me on speaker!”

  Myra smiles as she puts the phone close to her belly button. “Go ahead,” she shouts, listening intently. She made the mistake of not putting Susie on speaker earlier… that won’t happen again.

  “Hey, little precious angel… This is your fairy godmother, Susie. I just wanted to say how proud I am of you that you stayed put inside your mommy’s little belly and waited until I could get there. I just love you to pieces already, and I need to apologize for being a mean fairy godmother earlier. I can’t wait to see you and give your little beautiful face lots of kissy kisses. Because with Dylan as your daddy and Myra as your mommy? Girly, you’re going to knock men dead with your gorgeous little self. I love you, sweetie pie, and I’ll see you really soon.

  “Okay, Myra,” Susie shouts loudly.

  Myra blinks her eyes watery and quickly takes it off speaker phone.

  “You listened, didn’t you?”

  “No.”

  “Liar!”

  Myra giggles.

  “I knew it. That was supposed to be a private conversation, you sneaky evil eavesdropper you.”

  “Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

  “Yeah, right...” Susie says. “I just can’t wait to see you and your big belly and Jackie and Dylan’s family again, especially Chad. God, I love that big beefy goofball. How long has it been since I was there last? Three months? Or has it been four?”

  “Closer to four…”

  “Ugh, you’re right. Wow, time flies. So who’s picking me up since Dylan won’t let you drive? That overprotective lump of luscious manly god-like delicious tool-carrying hunk of—”

  “Stop! It’s Jackie,” Myra says, cutting Susie off as she laughs. “Jackie’s going to pick you up.”

  “You know I love your man, right?”

  “Yes, I am well aware of the fact.”

  “I just don’t understand why you can’t share him. Why do you have to be so selfish?”

  “I’m not selfish. Dylan is all mine. Besides, you have Jeff,” Myra says before she giggles when she hears Susie making gagging sounds. “Bye, Susie.”

  “Wait! I want to talk more about that tool he’s got between his—”

  Myra hangs up her phone and laughs, shaking her head. She has missed seeing her crazy friend so much, and she was thrilled when she found out that Susie could fly out to Boise to be with her for the birth. She smiles down at her huge stomach, putting both of her hands on it. She can’t wait to see this little person that has been kicking her for the last few months; she absolutely cannot wait.

  * * *

  Dylan groans when his eyes dart to his phone again, which is on the floor next to the tub he’s installing. He’s lost fucking count of how many times his eyes have repeated that shit in the last damn hour.

  “Ah, fuck it,” he grumbles, setting his wrench down and grabbing the offending thing. He quickly punches the number one speed dial button before he sticks his head out the door and looks both ways down the hallway. With a sigh, he sits down on the floor and leans his back against the tub, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

  “Why are you calling me?” Myra answers in a teasing voice.

  He smiles like an idiot.

  “Is that any way to greet your man? How’re my babies doing?”

  He grins even wider, feeling like a fucking fool when he hears her giggle. “We’re doing fine and quit ignoring my question. Why are you calling me?”

  “Because I miss you…”

  “You just left the house two hours ago.”

  “So?”

  Myra laughs. He could listen to that sound all day long. “Are you worrying again?” she asks.

  “Yeah.”

  “I told you not to work today if you were going to worry about me.”

  Dylan stretches his back and scratches his neck. “I know.”

  “Then why did you leave?”

  “Because… I was going goddamn crazy at home, following you around like an asshole.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  “Well, I felt like I was. Have you had any contractions?”

  “No. Nothing, I feel great.”

  Dylan frowns. “Nothing? Are you sure? No cramps? What about your back? They say that shit sometimes starts in the back.”

  His frown gets deeper when he hears Myra laughing again. “I promise you, no cramps… and my back feels great. I love you, silly. Why don’t you come home?”

  “Are you sure? I won’t drive you fucking insane?”

  “Do you know how cute you are?”

  Dylan groans and rolls his eyes. “Jesus Christ, I’m not fucking cute.”

  “Yes, you are,” Myra says with a snicker. “You’re adorable, and I love how you worry about m
e and the baby. You could never drive me crazy. You make me feel loved.”

  “You are loved. I think I love you too damn much because I’m driving myself crazy.”

  “Well, come home. I don’t want you to drive yourself crazy.”

  “Are Mom and Jilly still there?”

  “Of course... You think she’d leave after the way you threatened her this morning?”

  “I didn’t threaten her,” Dylan grumbles. But he knows that’s a big fucking lie because he did threaten her.

  Myra laughs lightly. “Okay… whatever you say.”

  “Is Susie there yet?”

  “No. Jackie went to pick her up.”

  “All right… I’m coming home. I’ll let Chad finish this job. Tell my mom she can leave but not until I get there.”

  “I love you, do you know that?”

  Dylan tries hard to mask the dumb, happy grin that wants to split his face wide open, but fails miserably. “I love you more,” he says quickly before hanging up.

  He smiles at his phone for a second before his body jerks violently, his eyes popping open wide when his dumbass brother’s huge body jumps in the doorway. “Oh, god, baby girl, I love you more than the stars in the motherfuckin’ sky,” Chad imitates in a high-pitched girly voice to the hammer he’s holding. He bats his eyelashes at it and puckers his lips up, making ridiculous smooching noises.

  “You goddamn motherfucking jackass…” Dylan mumbles under his breath while he climbs to his feet. His heart’s about to pound out of his chest because the stupid oaf scared the shit out of him. Chad begins howling with laughter, and Dylan has an overwhelming urge to snatch that hammer from him and club him over his dumb head with it.

  “You should have seen your face.” Chad points at him before, bending over and slapping his knee repeatedly while laughing like an idiot.

  Dylan’s lip turns up into a snarl as he ignores him and quickly gets his tools together.

  “Oh shit. My gut’s killin’ me,” Chad moans. “That was hilarious.”