Deceit of Angels

by Julia Bell

  They left the Grange through the main entrance. She followed Jason along the drive that led to the far end of the building, her thoughts in confusion and yet, excitement made her tingle. As they rounded the corner, the stables came into sight. These were a row of low structures with half a dozen split doors opening onto a large cobbled area, where riders used to mount and dismount. However, standing in the centre of this courtyard was a brand new Peugeot, its red paintwork gleaming in the bright morning sun.

  Jason slipped his arm round her waist. Anna looked to left and right in bewilderment.

  “I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’m starting to get very nervous!” she muttered.

  “Nothing to get nervous about, we’re here now and there’s my present to you.”

  She glanced at him and then her eyes followed his line of vision to the new car.

  “You’re looking at the car,” she commented dryly.

  “I know. That’s my present.”

  “You’ve bought me a car?”

  He didn’t answer, but his smile showed his delight at her total surprise. They walked towards it, Jason sweeping his eyes over the sleek bodywork, making sure it was exactly to his specifications. Anna couldn’t speak. Her heart thudded loudly and she found it hard to catch her breath with excitement.

  “Well! Do you like it?” he asked giving her a huge squeeze.

  “How can I not like it! I don’t understand, why did you buy me a car?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Is this a company car? Do I have to return it when you sack me?”

  He chuckled. “I thought it time you had your own transport and it’s yours for as long as you wish.”

  She grimaced, knowing her own car was still parked in the driveway of the home she shared with her husband, but then she smiled. “I love it. I really, really do. But I can’t accept it.”

  “Why not? And if you so much as mutter, ‘what will people say’, I’ll pick you up and throw you in the stable. With any luck I might even find some manure to drop you in!”

  “I feel embarrassed. It’s so lovely. How can I thank you.”

  “A kiss will suffice for now.”

  She entwined her arms about his neck and only after the lingering kiss had floated away, did she suddenly remember she still had to tell him about her husband. Nausea gripped her insides, since now the guilt she carried had been compounded by the giving of his marvellous gift. She held him close and took in a deep breath, painful tears aching at the back of her eyes. He didn’t say anything, but tenderly moved his hands down her back and over her buttocks.

  After a couple of minutes, he dipped into his trouser pocket and pulled out some jangling keys.

  “Well, milady, where are you going to take me?”

  “You want me to drive now?”

  “Of course! This is your car so let’s see how you can handle her.”

  “But I don’t know any places to drive to.”

  “Then we’ll go up to the lake. It’s only about three or four miles. I’ll direct you.”

  Excitedly, Anna took the keys and opened the driver’s door. As she climbed in and unlocked the passenger side, she looked around. Everything was spanking brand new, with shining knobs and an intoxicating smell of leather. They started their excursion, a journey that only took about ten minutes along the twisting country roads.

  By the time they reached the lake and parked, Anna’s spirits had started to soar and she believed that whatever the outcome of the next hour or two, at least she would have the most wonderful memories to take back to West Yorkshire with her.

  Hand in hand, they started their walk round the lake. It was a popular spot for families and courting couples and the weather had brought many people out of doors. The sun felt gloriously warm on their faces and occasionally they would stand and watch the glittering lake with the boats and windsurfers gliding across the surface, the sails a riot of colour against the blueness of the water. At one point, two young boys came screeching past on bikes. They found an empty bench and took a rest. They didn’t speak for a while, their eyes drinking in the beauty of the scene before them.

  After a couple of minutes, Jason pointed to a young man wobbling about in a canoe. “I hope that young man can swim. It looks as though he might go over any minute. Whoops! There he goes!”

  “Shouldn’t laugh, really. After all, it looks fairly difficult to do.”

  “Just technique really. After a bit of practice, it’s quite easy.”

  “Can you canoe?” Anna asked incredulously.

  “Yes. We did it at school. I used to come here with my friends when I was a boy. I’ve had a great deal of fun here. This is a special place for me. That’s why I wanted to bring you.”

  She sighed. “It’s very beautiful. A place where you can forget all your problems.”

  “Have you any problems?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Just wondered.” His eyes remained fixed on the boats.

  Casting him a sidelong glance, she bit her lip nervously. “Are you talking about last night? I’m so sorry about that, I really am. It must have been the ghastly day I had.”

  “What happened that was so ghastly? Mother didn’t say anything when I phoned. In fact, she gave me the impression you were absolutely fine.”

  She paused slightly before continuing. “To begin with, I found out you had gone to Bristol. That was a good start to the day!”

  “No one was more disappointed than me, I can tell you. But that’s the business I’m in.”

  Then Anna took in a deep breath and began to tell him of the incident in the kitchen and how she had disgraced herself so miserably.

  “I didn’t realise that a few glasses of sherry would affect me so much and I was sleeping it off when you rang the first time. I felt so ashamed, but your mother was charming about it all.”

  All through the narrative, Jason had listened with great delight, bursting into laughter when she came to the part about misunderstanding Margaret’s comments.

  “My mother has a strange sense of humour,” he smiled.

  “If that had been all, then I would have got over it, only something else happened and this one scared me a little.” Anna continued, telling him about the events in the morning room and how Tess had rushed at her, making her knock over a vase. “I’m not used to dogs and for one dreadful moment I thought she was a wolf or something.”

  Jason grinned. “There’s been no wolves in England for quite some time and Tess won’t hurt you.” Sitting forward in the seat, his elbows resting on his knees, he couldn’t hold back his amusement. “I’ll ask Mother to keep her in the kitchen for the duration of your visit. I want your stay at the Grange to be pleasant…and comfortable.”

  “You’ll do no such thing! I’ll get used to her.” She looked away for a moment and then smiled. “A wolf! How ridiculous is that. My husband always tells me I have a lively imagination!”

  Jason paused for a second, his eyes searching across the surface of the lake. When he spoke it was quiet, almost a whisper. “Your husband always ‘tells’ you?” She looked at him puzzled, not understanding. He decided to make it clearer. “You’ve done this before, used the present tense when referring to your husband. Surely if you’re a widow, it should be your husband always ‘told’ you.”

  Anna sat still, barely daring to breathe. Tears stung her eyes. She turned her head away so she couldn’t see his face. She blinked hard, fighting to control the surge that was threatening to spill over at any minute. The moment had finally arrived. “I’m not a widow,” she said quickly. “I have a husband in Wakefield. I left him to come and work for you.”

  She stared down at her fingers clenched so tightly the white of her knuckles showed and waited for Jason to say something as she gulped hard and tried to steady her breathing. She felt him lean back on the bench and take in a sharp breath. But he remained silent and the silence cut through her and made her wince with the pain. It was then she realised she had been right all alon
g. He was disgusted with her for her deceit; he hated her for her betrayal of his trust. She couldn’t bear it any longer and sprang from her seat. Without daring to look back she hurried towards the car her only thought to get away from him. She didn’t want to see the anger and disappointment in his eyes.

  It was when she reached the car that he caught up with her, grabbing her by the shoulders and bringing her to a sudden stop.

  “I hope you’re not thinking of leaving me to walk back?” he asked.

  She didn’t dare turn round, tears ran down her face in an endless stream. “You take the car. I’ll walk home,” she sobbed.

  “Now, that’s being silly.” He offered her a white folded handkerchief. “Give me the keys.”

  She passed them to him and he opened the door and put her in the passenger’s seat. Walking round, he got in behind the wheel.

  Anna lifted her head and was surprised to see his expression passive. There was no hate in his eyes just a look of resignation.

  She began to talk quickly. “If you take me back to the Grange, I’ll pack my things and leave. I’m sure Ben would give me a lift to the station and I’ll send for…”

  She got no further. To her utter amazement he suddenly reached out for her and before she could catch her breath his mouth was on hers, pressing down with the passion and intensity he had shown her the night before. At first she struggled, not understanding, almost frightened of him. But then his kiss became gentler and she relaxed, sinking against him. It seemed a long time before he finally released her. And when she opened her eyes, he was smiling.

  “I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Well, if you’d given me the chance, I would have explained.”

  “Explained what?”

  He waited a few seconds, before pulling her close once more and kissing her hair.

  “I know, Anna. I know about your husband. That’s why I hesitated. I was trying to pluck up the courage to tell you,” he whispered.

  She jerked her head round to look at him. “You...You knew! But how?”

  He smiled meekly. “Oh, little clues you kept giving away. I told you, I’m a good judge of character. I also have an instinct about people.” He saw the blank look on her face and took in a breath. “When you came into my office for your interview, I knew you were hiding something. That interested me. A woman with an intriguing secret! There’s not many about, I can tell you. And it was so obvious you were watching your every word in case you let something slip.”

  “You could see all that?”

  “It wasn’t very difficult.” He held her closer a small smile hovering around his lips. “Did you know that when a person lies, they can’t look you in the eye? You averted your gaze so often, I knew you were…what should I call it? Stretching the truth somewhat.”

  “That’s an understatement! I’ve been lying through my teeth since the day I read your advert!”

  He threw back his head and gave an incredulous laugh, before saying, “Anyway, by the time you received the letter, the one you burnt, I knew that things were very, very wrong.”

  “So you put it all together and worked out that I wasn’t a widow after all and that I did have a husband tucked away somewhere,” she said crisply.

  “In actual fact, I knew the real truth about you long before that. A month after you arrived I discovered all about you.”

  “A month!”

  “I had a phone call from a…well, suffice it to say I ended up speaking to your husband.”

  Anna opened her eyes in horror, putting her hand to her mouth to stop the scream that wanted to make itself heard. “You spoke to my husband!”

  “You’re starting to sound like a parrot,” he chuckled, but then continued more seriously, “I found myself talking to a very angry, rude guy. At first, I didn’t know who he was, but then when he said your name, and how you’d run off and left him and the boys, his words not mine by the way, I got the general idea. He was very furious about the fact I’d taken you away from him. You see, sweetheart, he thought I was the ‘other’ man. I found that quite interesting at the time. Of course, after I discovered I really did love you and after what nearly happened last night, I suppose I am the ‘other’ man now.”

  “But I had to leave him, Jason. Please understand. I told you I was a widow, because I didn’t think you would give me the job, if you knew I had responsibilities in Wakefield.”

  “Why did you turn the job down and then change your mind?”

  She swallowed hard. “I felt I had to turn it down, because of the twins and their exams, but then they went off to Romania and I discovered…” She gave a sob and put her hand to her mouth. “I discovered Dave had been up to his old tricks again. I think he’s cheated on me from the day we married, perhaps even before. And I couldn’t take any more.” She tried to pull herself together. “I was so happy working for you, but then came the letter.”

  “I assume it wasn’t very pleasant?”

  “It was upsetting because he seemed to be blaming me for our separation. He made me feel guilty when I hadn’t done anything wrong.” Moments of silence passed between them. “Jason, why didn’t you tell me you’d spoken to him?” she pleaded in desperation.

  “What would you have done, if I had?”

  “Been shocked, but at least things would have been straight between us.”

  He sighed sadly. “Many times I came close to saying something, but I decided not to. I believed you would tell me sooner or later. Of course, I didn’t realise you would hold out for so long, even though I could see it was a huge strain. I gave you one more day, if you hadn’t said anything by tomorrow, then I was going to say something to you! I can’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner.”

  “I thought you’d hate me and send me packing.”

  “Even after I told you that I loved you?”

  “That was when you thought I was a widow. Or at least, I thought you thought I was a widow. Oh dear! This is getting complicated. You’d gone through such a lot with Kiera and I couldn’t bear to add to your problems.”

  “Do you believe me when I tell you that nothing has changed and I still love you?”

  “But Jason, I just up and left my husband one morning. I abandoned my two children. Doesn’t that worry you about the sort of woman I might be?”

  He chucked her under the chin. “Your sons are no longer children so you’ve not abandoned them. And what kind of woman are you?”

  “The kind that runs away when there’s any kind of problem.”

  “Infidelity is not just any kind of problem. How you put up with it all those years is beyond me. It shows incredible courage.”

  “Or stupidity,” she said, puckering her lips. “But what about my lies? Dear Lord, I shudder to think of what I came out with. To tell you that my husband had died of a terrible illness and then your own wife dies. I feel so ashamed.”

  Jason frowned. “Then you mustn’t.”

  “You’re so good to forgive me,” she sighed.

  Jason took his arm from her and put both hands on the steering wheel as if trying to summon strength from gripping it tightly.

  “Anna, I don’t think you understand. I was trapped in a nightmare of a marriage too, so I understand. Kiera and I…disintegrated. Oh, I know we tried for Hollie’s sake but it was becoming more and more difficult to live together and finally we had to separate.”

  Anna felt stunned. “What about Peter? I thought she left you for him?”

  He gave a caustic laugh. “She did.” He rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the tension. “Our marriage was over and as soon as she met Peter, then that was her ‘get out of jail’ card.’ I allowed Hollie to go with her because she was always an excellent mother.”

  “Kiera doted on her,” Anna smiled.

  Jason nodded and dropped his hands from the steering wheel. He took in a breath before turning to her again. “Did Kiera, by any chance, tell you that she’d like us to marry? Then you could lo
ok after Hollie?”

  Anna’s mouth went dry. “Yes…Yes she did.”

  “She told me that too.” Jason put his arm round her. “And that’s exactly what you’ve done. You’ve been a second mother to Hollie.”

  “Have I though?”

  “You certainly have! Anyway, it wasn’t Kiera’s place to put that kind of responsibility on your shoulders.” He held her closer. “And you’ve been a wonderful support to me through all this. I don’t think I could have managed without you.”

  “But marriage?”

  He gave a half-smile. “I would ask you here and now to be my wife and not because Kiera wanted it, but because I do.”

  “So Kiera was right. You did have feelings for me, although I didn’t realise.”

  Jason smiled and kissed the top of her head. “We’re a fine pair. Both trapped in a loveless marriage.”

  Anna pressed her face against his shoulder. “I lived with Dave for nineteen years. I gave him two sons. Surely it means something?”

  “It means that you persevered against all odds.”

  “I did love him. Well, at the beginning I certainly did. And I was always faithful to him. That’s why last night was such a disaster. I couldn’t bring myself to behave the same way he did.”

  “You have quite a traditional view of marriage, haven’t you? Fidelity and loyalty figure highly in your notions of marriage. I feel so sad that it wasn’t returned, because you deserve better.”

  Anna looked out of the window and across the lake. “Yes, I did expect more from my marriage,” she said dejectedly. “But there again, I had expected much more from myself before I got married. Oh Jason, I had such dreams, so many plans. I wanted to go to university and study English. Then I could train as a teacher. I wanted to work abroad, even go to the States. But instead I got married.” She searched his expression for reassurance. “I thought that I could still do it after the boys had left home. Still do all the things I’d planned. I thought that if I got a qualification in office work, it would give me a start. But it all got out of hand when you offered me a job. My application was supposed to be an experiment.”