by J. L. Beck
“It is.” I paused. “I mean... it’s important all of this is taken slow. We just found each other after years of being apart. I feel drawn to you as if time never separated us, but looking at myself, and even you, I know time has. So I want to take it slow. However, at the same time I crave you…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Yet a-fucking-gain, I was putting my heart out on the line. Tegan and I were like a teeter-totter. One was always above the other when it came to emotions.
“Devon, it’s really okay. I know how you feel, because… I feel the same way. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong. Maybe I’m crazy to think there could be a chance between us again after everything God had put us through, but I want there to be a chance.”
Pulling over in front of her apartment, I put the Tahoe in park. I was still gripping the wheel as if it had the power to hold me in place. My mind was scrambled, and I didn’t know if loving her would be the right thing right now. Then again, I didn’t know if I could stop myself from wanting her either.
“You know what? Let’s just focus on the task at hand. Forget about all of this because I can’t look at you without wanting you, and if I don’t have my head in the game, we’re both as good as dead,” I said, undoing my seatbelt as I gripped the door handle. Turning, I hadn’t noticed she was leaning across her seat with her elbows leaning on the center console.
“I loved you then, Devon, and I love you now. I won’t let you slip through my fingers again. I won’t let you leave without a fight. You were meant to be mine.” And then, she did something I never thought she would—she pressed her lips against mine.
With one simple touch, there was a spark of fire that had me reaching my hands into her hair and holding her in place. Her skin was soft, her lips firm and full and ready to be taken by me. I bit at them greedily like I was starving and as if kissing her once would never be enough to cure the hunger for her that stirred inside of me.
My hands gripped at her, praying for this moment to never end. She opened her mouth and a moan broke free from her lips. My eyes popped open just to sneak a peek at her face, to see if she was feeling the same bloom of butterflies in her stomach as I was.
The second our eyes met, she pulled away, and I placed my forehead against hers. Never again would I let her go. Never again would I let her walk away. I would burn down this city and slit the throats of all the men who wanted her before I would allow her to leave. She was mine.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the first moment I saw you,” I whispered, my voice hoarse as I tried to fight the desire to rip her clothes off.
“Me, too. I know none of this is going to be easy and we’re on an uphill battle, but I won’t let you go.” The words seeped from her like a bleeding wound.
“I will take care of all these problems and give you everything you always deserved. You won’t have to let me go, Tegan, because I wouldn’t let you even if you tried. After all this time, I finally have you back.” I released her, grabbing the door handle.
“We should probably go in and get your stuff.” I watched her cheeks turn bright red from embarrassment. She had no reason to be embarrassed and the fact she was made me angry.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Tegan. My feelings for you run just as deep and just as strong.” I cupped the side of her cheeks, rubbing my thumb across her silky skin.
Instead of responding to me, she pulled away giving me a shy smile. She leaned back over, opening her door, and getting out. I followed suit, scanning the premise to make sure there weren’t any dodgy people nearby.
As soon as I knew it was secure, I allowed her to walk ahead of me. She followed the sidewalk up to the front steps. Then she turned around and looked at me for a moment before walking up the stairs. It seemed as if she was a little self-conscious to be showing me the place she lived.
As we took the steps in front of me, I felt them shake beneath my feet. They were rickety, and I wondered how long they had been this way and when I would get the chance to fix them.
Fuck. What was wrong with me? I was worried about fixing her fucking stairs?
At the top of the steps was a door, and it was there that we stopped. Checking my surroundings once again, I noticed the paint on the building was peeling and worn.
“Fuck, I don’t have my keys,” she muttered looking at me. Looking off to the side, I spotted a small window beside the door. My brain went into overdrive as a light bulb went off in my head.
“That’s fine. We’ll break this window open and then I’ll give you a boost inside.” I smiled softly, grabbing the plastic outside of the window. It bent with little pressure, which not only told me that this place wasn’t safe, but it was in fact as shitty as I thought. Applying more pressure to the lining of the window, I heard a snap as plastic pieces went flying. The window had to be one of those older ones, simply because the second I broke the plastic barrier, I could push against the glass and the window popped opened.
“Never thought I would be breaking and entering with Devon Mitchell.” Tegan laughed, causing a cute as hell snort to come from her nose.
I smiled, my chest filling to the brim with joy. Not once did I ever think I would hear her sweet laugh again.
“In you go,” I mumbled, extending my hands out to give her a boost into the window. Her eyes gazed at my hands for a moment before taking a step forward and lifting her foot so I could lift her up. As I pushed her up and through the window, my eyes lingered over her very firm ass all but begging for me to touch.
I braced my hands against the windowsill when her feet touched the ground on the other side. I needed to get my emotions under control. Most importantly, my cock. Calm yourself… I said to myself.
“Are you coming in?” Tegan’s voice startled me, pulling me from my own hell. She was watching me as if I were a ticking time bomb. How could I tell her she was the only thing that made me this way?
“Oh, yeah…” I faked a smile and met her at the front door. I walked over the threshold of the apartment, which happened to be just as shitty on the inside as it was on the outside. How had I allowed her to live this kind of life? To live in this fucking place? She should’ve been living in a lavish apartment… Isn’t that the whole reason I left?
“Well, this is it.” She sighed gesturing to the room before me. There was a couch, a shitty one at that, a coffee table, no TV, and a bookshelf. I smiled as I took notice of all the books on it. Well, there was one thing that hadn’t changed about her. She still loved books.
I walked over to the bookcase browsing her collection. Damn, had it grown since I had seen her last.
“I’m just going to go change,” she mumbled as she walked away. My eyes zoned in on the book I had given her before graduation years ago. It was a favorite of hers—Romeo and Juliet. Gripping the book in my hands, I flipped it to the front where I had written her a poem.
Teg,
When I look at you, the sun shines for the first time in forever, and I feel the warmth of your love. I feel the air in my lungs, the ground beneath my feet, the wind across my cheeks, and your love.
Your love all over me. Your love living and breathing in me. Your love completing me.
Our love may not have been perfect, or even meant to be, but for one short moment in time—it was invincible.
Forever yours,
Dev
Somehow, I had found myself walking, my feet carrying me to her as my heart filled with joy. She had kept the book. She had kept the fucking book. After everything I had put her through, she still managed to keep a shred of me with her. Maybe the reason I had never been able to let go of her was that, all along, she was still holding onto me. Keeping me fresh in her mind, body, and soul. Hoping and praying for the day when I would come back to her.
My breath halted in my chest as my eyes lingered over her body. Her lace covered breasts rose as a red flush formed all over her chest. I lifted my eyes to meet hers and saw desire in them. There was enough combustion there to burn this fucking building down.r />
“You…” I couldn’t get the words to come out, nor could I stop myself from crossing the room. My hand reached out cupping the side of her cheek as I placed the book on the small nightstand.
Her eyes were wild and filled with a lust I knew all too well. I traced the contours of her face before placing my lips against hers softly. She trembled in my hands as I did everything in my power to stay in control.
“You’re as beautiful, if not more beautiful as the first day I ever laid eyes on you.” I pulled my thumb away, running it over her plump bottom lip as her passion filled eyes shined up at me.
“We can’t,” she managed to get out before placing one of her hands against my shirt, gripping the fabric. The jeans that were in her hand fell to the floor as she gripped me with both hands. She was saying one thing, but her body was doing another.
“Shhh,” I softly said, wrapping my arms around her. She was a weakness to me, my own personal drug. My nose skimmed across her neck as the scent of cherries invaded my senses.
She was an appetizing cherry dangling within reach. The question wasn’t would I reach out and take a bite, but more, if I would savior it when I did or would I lose all control and lap it up like a man thirsty for water.
“I kept it because it was the only thing I had left of you,” she whispered. Her voice was so soft it felt like silk against my skin. Without hesitation, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. Kissing her greedily, swallowing every moan of pleasure that fell from her lips. She clung to me with a savage need, and I held on to her with every single piece of me.
“I want you,” I groaned, nipping at her bottom lip. She bit back, harder, the taste of copper filling my mouth.
“I want you more.” Her voice was full of hunger and her eyes filled with a hotness that could rival even the sun. Her hands trailed down to the top of the sweatpants I had loaned her. I watched her hook her thumbs into the waistband and shimmy out of them. Her hips moving from side to side was pure seduction as she revealed shapely legs and something I had wanted to taste since our love story started seven years ago.
“I want to taste you.” The words escaped my mouth loosely as I lost whatever control I had left. I fell to my knees as I pushed her against the wall, removing my sweats from her ankles and spreading her wide. Before me lay her hot pulsing sex. I gripped both of her thighs as I placed them on my shoulders.
“I’ve never done this, Devon,” she said meekly, shielding herself behind her glowing red hair. An overwhelming feeling of adoration formed within me. To be the first man to do this to her would be more than a fucking honor.
“I promise to make it just as good for you as it will be for me, and I won’t stop until you’re screaming.” I could barely talk as I sunk a finger into her hot core. She was tighter than fuck, which just made my cock even more envious of my finger. A purr sounded in the air as she arched off the wall.
Licking my lips, I bent forward, my hot breaths blowing against her core. In one swift motion, I licked her from bottom to top.
“Oh, my God…” I heard her hushed voice as her hands went into my hair. I smiled against her pussy, sliding my finger in and out slowly.
“No, baby, just call me Devon,” I said before I locked down onto her clit, sucking with all my might as my fingers continued to move in and out. I was a starved man. I wanted to devour her in one lick. I wanted to suck every juice she produced into my mouth to make up for all the lost time.
“Devon!” she screamed, her nails digging into my shoulder. My cock was hard as concrete as I slipped a second finger into her, picking up the rhythm and pumping even harder.
“Scream it, baby. I want this whole neighborhood to know it’s me who makes you feel this way,” I said pulling away so I could watch her face fill with ecstasy as her walls clenched my fingers.
“Fuck…” She paused, taking a deep breath as her chest heaved. “Devon!” Another scream escaped her lips when I hooked my fingers, finding her g spot and pushing down firmly as I rotated my fingers in a circular motion. Deep satisfaction rooted itself within me, fuck... Hearing her scream my name like that, knowing it was me who made her feel this way was fucking magical.
Her baby blue eyes faded closed as she came hard against my hand. Her juices soaked me, coating my fingers as a euphoric look crossed her face. It didn’t matter I was fucking hard as a rock. All that mattered was, for the very first time, I had been able to watch her come. I slowly removed my fingers as I licked my lips and then brought them to my mouth lapping all her juices. The flavors mingled so intensely in my mouth, I wasn’t sure I would be able to hold back from taking her. Teg’s eyes popped open and a shy smile marred her face.
“That was…” She didn’t get to finish because I interrupted.
“Absolutely fucking amazing?” I questioned an eyebrow raised.
I knew my pussy eating skills were top notch. Though I wasn’t Tegan’s first, nor was she mine, it didn’t change anything. A first time between two people who loved each other was far different from the very first time someone had sex.
I waited until she had her footing to get up off the floor, and then I stood there watching her as if she were my next kill. Did I want her? Of course, I did. I wanted her against the wall, on her knees on the floor, bent over the counter, against the tile in the shower. Hell, I would take her anywhere I could get her. There was only one problem… I didn’t think she was ready for it—hell, I fucking knew she wasn’t ready for it.
“Thank you,” she mumbled as she leaned down, grabbing the pair of jeans at her feet that she had dropped during my attack on her.
Her taste and smell surrounded me. I needed to get out of here. I needed air, some form of oxygen before her enticing scent got her fucked.
I all but ran out of her room without another word being said. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t be around her at that moment without being inside of her. I leaned against the small table in what should’ve been the dining room. The apartment was clean but small. On the table before me was a white piece of paper and on it was Tegan’s name.
What the fuck…?
“That really shouldn’t have happened—” Her words cut off the moment she saw the piece of paper between my fingers. “What is that?” she asked. I was still staring at the scrap of paper. It was folded in half and even I was afraid to open it.
Instead, I shook my head and handed it to her. “I don’t know.” In reality, I did know. It was more than likely a ransom note or something along the lines off—Have our money now or we’re coming to kill you.
She unfolded it, her fingers moving diligently as a nervous look showed on her face. Silence filled the room removing any lust filled thoughts from my mind. I watched her eyes roam over the note. Once, twice, three times before I spoke.
“What does it say?” I asked.
“Basically, they want their money, which I already knew. I knew they wanted their money the whole time. The first time they sent Liam, it was to hunt Jamie down. Since they think I’m not paying fast enough, they’ve come to collect me,” she said as she slung a backpack over her shoulder. I could almost feel the fear in her words and fuck if it didn’t make me want to take them fuckers down even more.
“I won’t let them hurt you, Tegan. I won’t let anyone lay a fucking finger against your skin.” Stepping into her space, I cradled her face in my hands. “I will never allow them to get close to you again.” I meant every single fucking word I said.
She smiled before pulling away from me, handing me the piece of paper. Scribbled on the inside — We’ll be watching you.
Fuck. Of course, they would be. They were criminals. Not just that, but they were criminals with an agenda. The agenda being Tegan, but just like they had an agenda, I did, too. I wouldn’t let someone cause her any more pain than she had already experienced.
“We need to get back to the cabin. The fact this note is here is proof they are keeping tabs on the house.” I looked around, probably looking like a lunatic.<
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“Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. I have everything,” she said, pulling at the backpack on her shoulder. Her cheeks were red and her dark blue eyes lingered on mine for a moment longer than usual. What we had done in the bedroom must’ve really done something to her. I know it fucking did to me.
“Smack that ass out on the floor…” Smack That by Akon reverberated through the room. What the fuck was that?
“I think your phone is ringing,” Tegan said, a huge smile showing on her face. I smiled back, simply because it was contagious, and the fact that people in situations like ours barely had a reason to smile.
Smiles were small blessings in shitstorms like this.
Reaching my hand into my pocket, I see it was my phone ringing and Akon’s ‘Smack That’ is blaring from it. The caller ID says ‘Asshole’ and I instantly know who the hell assigned this ringtone in my phone.
“Greetings, Asswipe. Nice of you to finally answer your phone,” Zerro’s cheery voice enters my ears.
“Umm…” I’m not even sure what to say to him. Tegan doesn’t know about my partner. She knows some of the shit I have had to go through, but not all of it. The fact that I’m not even supposed to be on an assignment right now is one thing she doesn’t know.
“Ummmm… what the fuck is wrong with you?” I could hear Gia’s laughter in the background and it warmed my heart. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want that one day.
“Nothing, just…” I paused as Tegan eyed me. “Nothing.” Two lies in less than two seconds. We were on a roll today.
“Nothing? You’re far too quiet for ‘nothing’ to be going on.” Zerro didn’t sound convinced, and I didn’t have the time to try to sway him. I needed to change the subject and fast.
“Nothing is going on. How is Gia? Does she miss Uncle Devon?” I asked. I could all but hear the sigh in Zerro’s voice.