Wait for Me

by Shannon Alexander

  I watch him. Stitching my hand, he looks sad. Like he knows that this is the end. That I won’t be able to forgive him for sharing my secret. For using it for his own gain.

  “I love you.” I say

  He looks up at me quickly, tears form in his eyes “you do?”

  “I do.”

  He smiles. “I love you too, so much.”

  And he kisses me, it’s slightly desperate, I know how much he loves me. He’s scared. He thought he stood a chance at losing me to Tyler.

  He was very wrong.

  When we finally part I look at him “I’m staying here though, I do love you, but your life is in New York and my life is in Georgia. I don’t know what that means.”

  He uses his surgical scissors to cut the last piece of suture, placing the tools back into his bag after he wipes them off with a cleaning solution.

  I pick up the gauze that he has used and stand to bring it to the garbage. Heath gently grabs my arm, standing up as I turn my body to face him.

  He tucks the hair behind my ear. “I want to be with you Alyssa. I have been away from you for three months too long. I am going to find a way to make this work. If you don’t want to be in New York, I’ll fly out on the weekends. We will make it work. We can still get married and you can fly up when you have time. It will be fine.”

  “What about Addy?”

  “She’ll come with me when I have her, Evan misses her, he asked about her as soon as I walked through the door here this morning. Her mother will be fine with her coming here, as long as I get her back in time the next morning. We have the funds to do this, let’s just see how it goes.”

  He kisses my forehead and steps away from me, taking the pile of gauze from my hand and tossing it into the garbage.

  I let out a sigh of relief. We will make this work. Heath and I are the ones who are meant to be.

  I’ll stay in Georgia and he will come and see us when he is able. It will all work out.

  “You still want to get married?” I ask him

  He smiles at me, over his shoulder while he is washing his hands. “I want nothing more.”

  We could do that. We could get married. There is nothing holding us back. “I think we should too.”

  “Really?” He seems surprised.

  “I agreed to marry you.” I hold up my hand, only then remembering that I took my ring off a few months ago when I was going to Germany.

  Heath frowns.

  “I took it off before I saw him in Germany, I wasn’t sure what his state was going to be like, I wasn’t sure if he would be upset. He doesn’t care Heath, honestly I just forgot about it. I have it right here.”

  I pull the ring on a chain from around my neck. I undo the clasp and slip it right back on my ring finger, holding it up for him to see with a reassuring smile. “See.”

  “Okay, so now that, that is settled, when do you want to do this?”

  “The wedding you mean?” I ask

  “Yeah, the wedding. Do you want to do it here? Do you want it at the courthouse, or do you want to do a big one with everyone?”

  “I don’t really know. I guess we could just do a courthouse thing at some point. We will just have to have Mom and Dad there. They would feel horrible if I didn’t invite them to my wedding.”

  “Great, that works, I’ll make sure I have Addy, I only have one thing I want.”

  “What’s that?” I ask

  “I want it to be within the next month. I know that feels rushed, but before you got the call about Stacy and well you know who else, we were talking about getting married right away. I don’t want to waste any time spending the rest of my life with you. No matter where it is we live, I want you to be my wife.”

  He kisses me again, his lips full of desperation once more.

  “Okay, within the month.” I agree.

  I push a nagging feeling aside. The feeling like this is being rushed for the wrong reasons, and I look at the man that I really do love. He’s made me very happy. He has taken wonderful care of me and treated my son as his own the entire time I have known him. There is no way I could not marry him.

  He’s perfect for me.

  Most importantly, he’s never broken my heart.

  “Let’s do this.” I say grabbing my phone off the table to call Stacy.

  Matthew comes storming into the kitchen before I can hit ‘send’ to connect the call.

  “We need to talk.” He’s angry.

  Heath’s phone rings. It’s his emergency hospital phone.

  I hear him mumble into it. Matthew is looking at me like he expects me to ask Heath to leave the room.

  “I have to fly back to New York, something happened with one of the doctor’s on call and they are short staffed. I’ll call you when I land, and we can talk wedding.” He smiles kissing me on the cheek.

  He collects his doctor bag, says his goodbyes to Evan who is laying on the couch watching cartoons, I look at my brother. He’s watching Heath walk out the door.

  He’s not happy and it has something to do with Heath.

  “Tyler is being released from the hospital.” Matt states

  “Okay, good for him.” I wipe down the counters not wanting to talk to my brother about Tyler. I can tell exactly whose side is on by the level of irritation in his voice.

  “The doctor told him he has to be somewhere wheel chair accessible, if he gets tired he needs his chair.”

  “Matt that is awesome. Good for him. Tyler and I aren’t friends anymore. Why are you telling me all of this?”

  “Sharon’s house is on a hill, steep stairs and it’s not big enough for Tyler to wheel around in.”

  “So he can rent a place to stay.” I know Tyler is going to be getting disability through the VA for being hurt while in the line of duty.

  “He needs help he can’t live alone.”

  And then I see where this is going. I know exactly what my brother is leading up to.

  “So let me guess, Tyler is coming here. He will be here and we are all going to help him?”

  Matt glares at my sarcastic tone “Yeah, Alyssa we are.”

  “Awesome, so Evan and I will live with Tyler, and my Son will get to know his father, and when Heath comes over we can all be under one roof, just one big happy family.” I laugh

  “Whatever, he didn’t know Alyssa. You didn’t see him in the hospital just now, he had no freaking idea that Evan was his son.”

  “I’m sure he made you believe that.” I retort

  “No, I am serious, he’s broken. I went in there to kill him. I thought I really just might. He had no right to say those things to you. When I got there, he was a mess. He wants to hear what happened from you. And you know, you might be angry because something happened, something stopped him from getting that email, but we all played off on our anger towards him and none of us, NONE of us bothered to flat out ask him why he wouldn’t acknowledge Evan. You and I both knew this whole time it wasn’t like Tyler. He isn’t a coward, he isn’t a dead beat. You know how he grew up, he wouldn’t do that to another kid. He just didn’t know.”

  “So yeah he’s going to come and live here for a while. Dad is going to give him a job and you and he are going to work on your shit and he is going to get to know your son.”

  “You have no right Matthew, you know he is lying, I know he is lying!” I scream

  “You didn’t see him Alyssa. That wasn’t the emotions of a man who knew the jig was up, that was a man who just found out he had a little boy for the last 3 years and knows nothing about him. Work it out.”

  I slump down onto the kitchen floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and begin sobbing.

  Matt sits on the floor beside me pulling me into his arms.

  “You loved Tyler for so long. Do you remember the first day I brought him home, that night I heard you in your room wishing on the stars like you did every night. Instead of wishing for a new story idea, and another teddy bear, you wished for Tyler to love you. Do you remember that
?”

  I flinch in embarrassment.

  Matt laughs gently. “I have always known that the two you have loved each other. He would always ask me about you. Picking on the boys who asked you out started out as his thing, I just agreed with it. You made a beautiful baby boy together, I love my nephew I do and he deserves to know his dad. You can be angry that you didn’t get that happily ever after you thought you would have when you and Tyler finally got together, but you can’t deny that what you created isn’t perfect and it deserves you both. Evan deserves his dad.”

  He’s right. Because Matt doesn’t say a whole lot unless he truly believes in what he is saying. He doesn’t offer piles of sage advice often, but today… he’s right.

  “He hates me, I don’t know if I can look past that.” I whisper

  “You know the saying, there is a thin line between love and hate, and I’d say where Tyler is concerned that line is near invisible and all about protecting his heart. He loves you Alyssa, he’s always loved you, he just doesn’t know how to handle all of this. Heath didn’t help what he was already dealing with.”

  “What did Heath do?” I ask

  Matt shakes his head; “that’s a conversation for you and Tyler, but I will tell you this if you marry that guy you are in for a lifetime of what if’s and unhappiness.”

  “I thought you liked him.” I look into my brother’s eyes.

  “I like him, but I love you and I know he is not who you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.”

  I twist the engagement ring that suddenly feels like a ten pound brick on my hand. “We are getting married within the month, a courthouse wedding. He wants to do it as soon as possible.”

  Several moments pass before Matt says anything “I guess I’ll support you, if you think that is what you really want.” It sounds more like a question than a statement.

  “He loves me, he’s been so good to Evan and I the entire time we have known him, I don’t know what happened with Tyler I don’t know how he can possibly claim to never having known about Evan, but that doesn’t mean that I have to change my whole life and stop the path my life is already on.”

  “No, it doesn’t mean that but you have become the girl you once were little by little now that Tyler has been back in the picture, the sister I remember.”

  “That has nothing to do with Tyler, that is being back in Georgia with my family and away from all the stress I was under in New York.”

  “Are you going back? I mean when you guys get married, are you going to pack up Evan once more and move back?” He asks.

  “No, I told Heath that I want to stay here. He seems okay with it.”

  “He’ll move here with you?” Matt questions.

  “I don’t think he has any intentions of moving here, but he did say that we would make it work because he wants to be with Evan and I, so he will fly down on weekends and Evan and I will go up when we can. It’s doable.”

  Matt doesn’t look convinced; “I don’t think that a marriage is going to work when you two are states apart. You do the every other weekend thing and you’ll burn out quick. Why don’t you just wait a while before plunging in?”

  His response annoys me. I decide to end the conversation. “Matt I’ll figure out what I am doing as I go, but I will marry Heath. The rest, all the stuff with Tyler, it will get sorted as we go. Nothing has to be decided today. He has a wife, and another child. He has them to worry about as well. If he can find a way to make all that work, I can find a wake to work for me as well.”

  “Holy shit I have never met two people who need to sit the hell down and actually talk. This is like watching an old episode of As The World Turns.”

  Mom comes walking into the kitchen causing Matt and I to stop our discussion.

  “Tyler will be here in about an hour. I’m giving him the room at the end of the hall, his old room. You and Evan are close by. I’m sorry about that.”

  Mom seems a little sad. Matt gets up and walks into the living room with Evan, giving my Sons’ tiny hand a high five as he passes by.

  “This is happening really fast mom.”

  She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. “There are so many details that you really have no idea about. I thought the two of you had to of been talking about your lives while you were spending all that time together in the hospital. He has so much to tell you so much that I know he wants to tell you, needs to tell you. You are going to need to hear him out. I will tell you, awhile back I had mentioned something about you and your writing for a parenting magazine, and he made a comment about it being odd you would write for a parenting magazine. That’s when I realized but not fully, that he had no idea that you had a child. Who knows, maybe I assumed he thought you had an abortion, but I honestly don’t think he knew a thing about you being pregnant. I just don’t. So many pieces are not fitting here.”

  I wipe the tears that are starting to fall below my lashes with the back of my hand.

  “I don’t know what is happening, it doesn’t make any sense. I was emailing him on his last night, then that guy got on and I got angry. I replied back though. I told Tyler that I was pregnant, even if he didn’t get the email that night, he would have seen it at some point. He had to have known.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore, the point is now he does know and now he wants to try to get to know his Son. He needs a place to go that will fit his chair when he needs it, and he needs family to help him. We are going to do this for him sweetie, because no matter what happened or didn’t happen between the two if you, he is still a part of our family, he is still a part of your story and we are not going to slam the book shut on him because of a sick joke from fate.”

  I nod and walk out of the kitchen to get Evan. Mom, Dad and Matt are all going to the hospital to get Tyler. I don’t really want to be downstairs when he gets here. I have to find a way to tell my son that his father will be here. I have to tell a three year old boy who has never really asked why he doesn’t have a daddy, that he has one and he’ll be a part of his life now.

  I take Evan up to our room, we have our own bathroom. When we came back dad had a larger tub put in because Evan is the definition of water baby. I never had to fight with him to take a bath. He would climb in, I would add the bubbles and his bath toys and he would be happy as could be. He never wants to come out.

  Mom and dad love taking him out back into the swimming pool. In fact, it is one of dad’s favorite things. He is always trying to finish his work early on the farm so he could get home and have time with his Grandson, cooling off from the hot Georgia sun.

  “Mama, why are you sad.” Evan asks, his little voice breaking me from my thoughts.

  “Mama isn’t sad baby, I’m just tired. I was thinking, maybe we could order a pizza and snuggle in bed and watch Caillou?”

  Caillou has to be the most annoying show on television, but Evan adores it. The little boy in the show with his whiney voice is about four years old, and deals with the oh so rough life that kids at that age lead. Evan can relate I suppose.

  “Yay, pizza with roni’s and French fries too.”

  Pepperoni is Evans favorite, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t get him to say the full word. It is amazing actually how great his speech is, he snags himself up on a few words, but for the most part when he speaks, and it isn’t like you are talking to a three year old.

  Sometimes I forget that he’s only three. Moments like now, when he picks up on my sour mood, even while in a bubble filled world of fun.

  I pick up the phone and call our favorite pizza joint. Then I call Stacy and invite her and the baby over. I tell her about my family moving Tyler in. She doesn’t say much.

  She doesn’t have any hard feelings against Tyler, she doesn’t have any reason to. But because she is my best friend, because that is what we girls do, she has resentment for him on my behalf. Especially when it comes to Evan.

  She insists on picking up the pizza instead of waiting for delivery. I run downstair
s and grab a few soda’s and make it back upstairs just in time to hear the front door open and Tyler’s laugh fill the long corridor.

  My heart skips a beat. I try to brush it off. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s an affect from the fight we had today. That’s all.

  I walk into my room only to find Evan passed out in his little bed on the other side of the room. My room could be considered a suite, it has 2 rooms built into the one area, and a bathroom. Evans room is small, but perfect for him, it fits his toys and his bed and everything else he needs is down stairs in the den.

  Stacy comes through my door a few minutes later. The pizza in her hand, a pack of beer in the other.

  Beer, not even something I would normally drink, but for some reason I know it is exactly what I need.

  “Is it just me or is Tyler Pierce way sexier than he ever was in high school?” She laughs setting the hot box down on my desk.

  “You are supposed to be helping me Stac.” I retort.

  “Sorry babe, but seriously he is looking good. I stopped to say hello, ask him how he is doing. He asked me about the baby. Your mom has her downstairs. I think he was expecting to see you though.”

  “Not me, probably Evan. I haven’t really decided how I want to approach the idea with my son that he suddenly has a d-a-d.” I spell out the word, even thought my son is sound asleep and not likely to wake up any time soon.

  “You’ll figure it out. Don’t be so hard on yourself, it isn’t like you planned any of this. I was there Alyssa, you might forget, but I remember how broken up you were when you found out you were pregnant and then realized that you would be doing it alone. I know that if you could have had anything in the whole world back then, it would have been to have Tyler by your side while you raised your son together. Shit happens though, I don’t know that I buy that he didn’t know. I don’t know how he can say that at all, I saw the emails. I know that they were sent, but either way, he is here and he wants you and Evan and he’s a good guy, he’s one of the best guys I have ever met other than your dad.”