Where Grace Abides

by BJ Hoff

  Delivering their two youngest sons had been a devilishly frustrating task, made even more trying by Beiler’s insistence on being in the birth room and the glowering frown he wore the entire time. Clearly Martha had not wanted him there, and although David probably wouldn’t have resented the presence of most husbands during a delivery, the reality was that most husbands, including Amish ones, typically removed themselves, leaving the process entirely to David and sometimes a midwife.

  He wondered, too, about Beiler’s relationship with his boys. His impression of the younger two were that they behaved like inanimate wooden figures when their father was anywhere nearby. As for the older one, who must be sixteen or so by now and in his rumspringa, well, David had to wonder if he might be a case of the apple not falling far from the tree. From what he had seen of the boy, he was a surly sort. Rumor also had it that he was a wild one and had a temper to be reckoned with.

  In any event he had always been relieved that Susan’s Rachel seemed to want no part of Beiler’s attentions. He liked Rachel and respected her. He would have hated to see her involved with Beiler if he actually were the type of man David suspected he might be.

  As for what Beiler might be up to with Gant and the business of ordering a gift for Rachel, well, it reeked of a certain territorialism that, if it didn’t anger Rachel, would almost certainly embarrass her.

  He could only hope it wouldn’t come to that. Perhaps Beiler would realize before things went much further how utterly foolish it would be for him to try to stake a claim on a woman who didn’t want him.

  This whole business with Beiler, Gant, and Rachel sparked the uneasy thought of a spider that blindsides its prey—capturing by stealth and a web of deception what might be difficult, if not impossible, to secure in an open confrontation.

  He shuddered and abruptly pushed to his feet. All this sitting around, fretting about this and that, one thing and another, simply proved that Susan was right. He worried too much about his patients and everything else. He needed to learn to think less and relax more.

  He would start tonight by going to bed instead of upsetting himself any further. God willing, a good night’s sleep would make a difference in his outlook on things.

  If nothing else it might go far to alleviate the throbbing headache that had begun to form earlier in the evening.

  32

  A PROBLEM SOLVED

  He did not wring his hands, as do

  Those witless men who dare

  To try to rear the changeling Hope

  In the cave of black Despair.

  OSCAR WILDE

  Gant planned to wait a week before confronting Terry Sawyer about the possibility of his leaving Riverhaven, but as it happened, Sawyer approached him first, before he had a chance to say anything.

  On Friday morning, before the shop opened for business, Sawyer came to the back room where Gant was mixing some paint. “Captain?” he said, standing a few feet away with his hands behind his back. “Could you spare me a minute or two?”

  Gant turned to look at him and, seeing the expression on the man’s face, capped the paint container before replying. “I can,” he said. He was fairly sure he knew what was coming and was glad he’d waited. He had hoped Sawyer would approach him first, before he had to bring up the subject.

  The younger man seemed fidgety, shifting from one foot to the other a few times before getting to the point. “Ellie and I have been talking,” he said, not quite meeting Gant’s eyes, “and we’ve decided I should go on ahead to Indiana without waiting any longer.”

  Gant wiped the paint stick and put it on the table. “You did, eh? You and Ellie decided that?”

  “Yes, sir. For several reasons it seems the wise thing to do.”

  Gant stood watching him until Sawyer finally met his gaze. “Why is that, I wonder?”

  “Sir?”

  “Why do you believe it’s best that you leave now rather than waiting?”

  “Oh—well, for one thing winter will be on us before long, and I need to get a house at least partly underway before the weather turns. My uncle Norman, he says that Indiana winters can be hard.”

  “So can an Ohio winter, lad, and you’ll be leaving your wife and baby to face it alone.” Gant knew he sounded curt, but truth was he didn’t feel all that kindly toward young Sawyer at the moment.

  Sawyer looked down at the floor. “I know. But it’ll be better for Ellie and Naomi Fay to stay here for now.”

  “So—when were you planning on leaving?”

  “Well, sir, if you can do without me, I’d like to get on my way in a couple of days. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can get things settled for us and come back for Ellie and the baby—before the worst of winter sets in.”

  Was he right? Would it be foolish to wait any longer and risk traveling in bad weather?

  “You can’t wait at least until Gideon gets back? You’ve seen for yourself that I need someone to help me out in the shop.”

  At least the lad had the decency to look uncomfortable.

  “I know that, sir, and I’m sorry—I really am. You’ve been awful good to us, and I hate leaving you in a spot. But, Captain, I can’t help but think this is the best way for my family.

  “And if you’re thinking I’d be leaving them for others to take care of,” he hurried to add, “that wouldn’t be the case. We’ve put by every cent we could save, and I figure with my wages due today, we’ll be all right for a while. Once I get there, my uncle says he’ll stake me for a time so I can send enough money back to Ellie to do her till I come and get her and the baby.”

  Gant waved off his words. “It’s not your family’s keep I’m concerned about,” he said. “I’m no expert on women, but it seems to me it would be a hard thing entirely for a new mother to be stranded in a strange town with a baby and no husband. What if there’s some kind of an emergency, lad? What if one of them gets sick or there’s an accident and you’re out there in another state? Have you given any thought to that?”

  Sawyer visibly bristled. “’Course I have, Captain. I know this won’t be easy for Ellie, and I know things could happen. But I still think it will be better for them this way than to try and travel right now.”

  “You’re missing my point, man!” Gant instantly regretted the gruffness of his tone, but if nothing else, Sawyer needed to see all sides of what he was proposing to do. His actions didn’t affect him alone. “Why do you have to go now? Why can’t this wait?”

  Clearly he’d offended the other. Sawyer’s face turned crimson, and his chin shot up in a jerk. “I thought I’d already explained that, sir. If we wait until after the chance for bad weather is past, that’ll mean staying here another five months or so! We’re wanting to get on with our lives, Captain.”

  Wanting to get on with his life, maybe, but Gant wasn’t so sure Ellie Sawyer wouldn’t have preferred to slow things down a little.

  But he knew he’d be wasting his breath to say anything more. Sawyer’s face had turned hard-rock stubborn with his last words.

  “All right, then,” he said giving a shrug. “You can collect the wages due you at the end of the day.”

  Sawyer’s expression brightened. “You’re sure, sir? That would really be all right with you?”

  Exasperated with him by now, Gant just wanted this conversation over with before he said something he’d regret. “If you mean am I sure you’re doing the right thing for your family—no, I’m not sure at all. But you have to do what you think you must, and I can see you won’t be swayed. For now we both need to get to work.”

  He turned then and, without another word, started for the door to the shop.

  This hadn’t gone the way he’d hoped it might. His idea had been to try to reason with Sawyer, to make him see that this couldn’t be a comfortable situation in which to leave that young wife of his. He had hoped for an amicable discussion that might bring about a change in the younger man’s plans.

  Apparently Ellie Sawyer had been surprising
ly candid in her words to Doc Sebastian about her husband’s “wanderlust,” his difficulty in staying in one place for any length of time, and his desire to leave Riverhaven for Indiana as soon as possible. Still, Gant had thought—wrongly so as it turned out—that he might be able to convince him to wait, that ultimately Sawyer would put his wife and baby first, before his own wishes.

  Grudgingly he admitted to himself that probably the man had convinced himself he was doing just that. And maybe he was. Who was he to judge another man’s decision on what was best for his wife and child?

  After all, it wasn’t as if he’d had any experience or was ever likely to have any experience in that area.

  Two days after Terry Sawyer left Riverhaven, Gant reluctantly went to see Mrs. Sawyer—reluctantly because he didn’t quite know what to expect or what to say to her.

  If he had anticipated nervous weeping, Ellie Sawyer proved him wrong. She let him in with a smile—a little forced, he thought, but at least she didn’t seem tearful. She held the baby propped against her shoulder, patting her back while they exchanged a few words of greeting.

  She asked him to sit down, but Gant declined, still uncomfortable with his reason for calling. “I have to get back to the shop,” he said by way of excuse. “I just wanted to come by and see how you’re doing.”

  She nuzzled her cheek against the top of the baby’s head and then went to stand close to the window. “Terry left you without any help at all. I’m so sorry for the trouble, Captain.”

  He shrugged off her apology. “It’s not that big of a problem, Mrs. Sawyer.”

  “Ellie,” she put in. “Please.”

  “Anyway,” he said, “if things start to get too hectic, I just put up the Closed sign and take a walk until I unwind a bit. Folks around here are fairly patient, for the most part.”

  “Everyone I’ve met has been very kind,” she said. “I wouldn’t have minded staying here indefinitely, but Terry really wants to farm his own place and be close to his uncle.”

  Again Gant was struck by Ellie Sawyer’s youthful appearance. Standing there by the window, the afternoon sun splashing gold on her flaxen hair, she could have easily passed as a schoolgirl.

  Except for the baby in her arms—a reminder to Gant of why he’d come.

  “Mrs. Sawyer—”

  “Ellie,” she reminded him.

  He smiled a little. “Ellie—I just wanted to make sure you and the baby are doing all right, and I wanted to tell you too, that if you need anything, anything at all, you send word to me.”

  She returned his smile, continuing to pat little Naomi Fay, who made soft baby noises against her shoulder. “Thank you so much, Captain. You’re very kind. But we’ll do fine, I’m sure. In fact Mrs. Haining just this morning offered me a situation that she assures me will work to her advantage as well as mine.”

  “Oh?”

  “She keeps quite busy here, as I’m sure you know, what with letting out rooms and running the restaurant as well.”

  Gant nodded.

  “I’m going to be helping her in the kitchen and perhaps even waiting on tables when things are really busy. For doing that she’s offered a small wage—and our room and board free.”

  “Well, that’s good news! Really good. For both of you. Mara Beth has needed help around here for months, but she just hasn’t been able to find anyone.”

  “Even better, I’ll be able to keep Naomi Fay with me. Mrs. Haining says I can fix her a nice place in the back of the kitchen, so she’ll be right there, close to me the whole time I’m working. Doesn’t that sound just perfect?”

  “It surely does…Ellie. And you’ll like working with Mara Beth. She’s a fine woman. She’ll do right by you.”

  “Oh, I know she will! And she just dotes on Naomi Fay. She seems to enjoy her so much. It’s a shame she hasn’t any children of her own.”

  “Well, I’d have to say this sounds made to order for both of you. I should be going, but don’t forget what I said. If you need anything, you’ve only to let me know.”

  “Thank you, Captain. I’m sure we’ll do just fine, but I hope you’ll stop by to see us now and then. And I do hope Terry’s leaving doesn’t make things too difficult for you.”

  Gant gave a wave on his way to the door. “It will all work out. I’m sure Gideon and Asa will be back before long, and I’ll have plenty of help then.”

  Gant left the boardinghouse, his heart considerably lighter than it had been earlier. Ellie Sawyer had been on his mind almost constantly since her husband left town. He had wondered and fretted over just how much he could help her without crossing the border of propriety or wounding her pride. Now it seemed that Mara Beth Haining had stepped into the gap and taken care of things in a way he never could.

  Mara Beth’s plan would enable Ellie Sawyer to be largely self-sufficient. He would still keep an eye on her and the baby, of course. No doubt, as a young wife and mother, she would still have her times of loneliness until her husband returned for her, but keeping busy would at least help to relieve those times.

  Here at last was a problem solved.

  If only some of the other troubles that continued to weigh him down could be worked out half as efficiently.

  On that note he reminded himself not to take this, or anything else, for granted. It had been his experience that the very time when things seemed to be going surprisingly well often turned out to be the very time when something was almost sure to go wrong.

  He sighed, sincerely hoping this wasn’t one of those times.

  33

  LEAVING FOR HOME

  So long as there are homes to which men turn

  At close of day;

  So long as there are homes where children are,

  Where women stay—

  If love and loyalty and faith be found

  Across those sills—

  A stricken nation can recover from

  Its gravest ills.

  GRACE NOLL CROWELL

  The night was heavy with clouds and fog, a damp, cold night permeated with wood smoke when they chanced to pass a farm along the way.

  With all their passengers safely turned over to the next conductor at Canton—all but the belligerent Micah, who had taken off on his own while they’d still been hiding in the woods—Gideon and Asa were on their way home.

  “Are we going to make it, Asa?”

  Asa lifted an eyebrow and turned to look at him. “You always this impatient, young Gideon?”

  “Only when my mother’s getting married and I’m this far from home.”

  Asa nodded. “I suppose that’s reason enough. Didn’t I tell you we’d be there in time for the wedding?”

  “You did, but that was before we got stuck outside of Canton.”

  “Well, we’re on our way now.”

  “But I don’t see how we can possibly make it back in time for the wedding at this rate.”

  Asa shook his head. “I wouldn’t have taken you for such a worrier.”

  They rode along in silence for a few more minutes until Gideon had another thought. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to unhitch one of the horses and let me ride it the rest of the way. I could probably cut the time in half.”

  Asa seemed to consider that. But not for long. He gave another shake of his head. “I can’t do that. The captain would be fit to be tied. I’m responsible for you.”

  “No one is responsible for me except myself,” Gideon bit out. “I’m not a child.”

  Asa scratched his head. “I have to wonder how many times you’ve reminded me of that fact on this trip.” He sighed. “I know you’re not a child. But this is your first time working with passengers. Now you tell me if I’m wrong, but I have a suspicion you’ve never been out of Riverhaven before, at least not far.”

  “I went to Columbus once.”

  One side of Asa’s mouth twitched. “At least you’re honest.”

  “I can find my way back easy enough. I could take that map you’ve got in b
ack. You probably don’t need it.”

  When Asa didn’t answer, Gideon pressed. “I’m a good rider. I’ve been riding a horse practically since I could walk.”

  Asa shot a skeptical look at him.

  “Well, I wasn’t much older than that. Come on, Asa. It’s not like you need both horses to pull an empty wagon.”

  Asa made no reply, so Gideon tried again. “All I need is the map and the horse. I’ll be fine.”

  Even as he tried to persuade him, however, he could tell Asa wasn’t warming to the idea. And Gideon had learned during their time together on the road that when Asa made up his mind about something, there wasn’t much point in trying to talk him around to a different way.

  Still, he decided not to give up. He’d give him time to think about it for a spell. Maybe he’d come around on his own.

  Gideon was just about to nod off when two men on horseback crashed out of the trees just ahead, startling the horses and blocking their way. Roused by the sudden stop of the wagon and the frightened horses, he caught a sharp breath. “Uh-oh! What’s this?”

  “Don’t know,” Asa said, his voice low, “but I don’t like the looks of it. Thank the good Lord we already delivered the passengers. Stay alert, though.”

  Behind them a low growl started in Mac’s throat, but Asa hushed him.

  “Asa—look!”

  Another man could be seen now. Shuffling behind the two, this one was on foot and roped to one of the horses. His hands and feet were shackled, his neck trapped in an iron collar. His shirt was torn to little more than rags.

  “It’s Micah!” Gideon rasped. “I tried to warn him! I told him he should stay with the others.”

  There was no more time for words. The men drew up their horses, waiting as Gideon and Asa approached and slowed the wagon.