Darklight 6: Darkbirth

by Forrest, Bella

  The falling lights that surrounded us were shades of hazel—amber, blue, and green—the same color as my eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Happy tears blurred my vision. Everything around us glittered; it felt like I was inhaling stardust. I couldn’t believe this was happening, and for several beautiful moments it was as if I were on the outside looking in on the scene. I could hardly believe this was really happening to me right now. A happiness I’d never felt before in my life filled me to the brim, bursting from me as I flung myself into Dorian’s arms.

  "Yes, Dorian." I brushed falling tears away roughly, a sob racking my body. "Of course, yes." He wrapped his arms around me, holding me so tightly I could feel him shaking.

  I pressed myself as close to him as I possibly could. Despite the difficult turns my life had taken of late, I was so utterly, deliriously, giddily happy to have met the man I was holding. I would never have dreamed I would find this kind of love, a love I had literally crossed worlds for, risked death for, and would fight for until my dying breath. And now I had the opportunity to spend the whole of my life with him. It was such a long, long way from the mistakes we had made at the beginning of this journey, thinking we needed to stay apart and try to forget one another. The only place I needed to be was by Dorian’s side, and that was where I intended to stay. Forever.

  "Why are you crying?" he whispered. His hand brushed the side of my face, thumbing a tear from my damp cheek.

  "Because I'm happy." I let out a choked, delirious laugh. "I can't believe this is happening. Of all the times for this to happen… we're in an entirely different plane of existence that we didn't even know about. Last year, I didn't even know you existed. My mind can't seem to wrap around it. You've changed so much of my life—I don't even know how to tell you how I feel."

  I pressed myself against him again and kissed him hard. "I would never want to live without you, either. You've been one of the few constants in my life, especially throughout this situation we've been thrown into. In every dark moment, you have always risen to the occasion, even if we’ve sometimes disagreed on how to proceed. We've supported each other and watched each other grow. I honestly can't imagine ever being with anybody else. When I look at you… I see my future, and I see a person who makes me want to be a better version of myself. How could I not want to love you for the rest of my life? I want you by my side forever."

  "Oh… Lyra." His voice wavered. He cradled me against him. I tilted my head back, and he kissed me passionately. I smiled into our kiss, enjoying the way our lips seared together with perfect warmth. "You're everything to me. I—" He choked up, unable to get the words out. "I just want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world. I've never met anyone like you, and I never intend to lose you."

  "Then let's promise to stay together." I kissed him. "Forever."

  He kissed me again, crushing me against him. The sudden movement sent the air from my lungs, and I groaned as he nibbled on my bottom lip. I brought my hands up to the back of his neck, weaving my fingers into his thick dark hair, pulling him closer to me. The idea of forever with Dorian was heaven for me. Even if something happened to us—even if we failed—we would be together. I opened my mouth to let his tongue explore and pressed my body tight against him, wanting to be as close as possible. Who knew how long we had until they whisked us away for the final Games? I wanted to soak in every moment of us together. His left hand wandered down to my side. I sighed pleasantly as his hands dug into me, my old wounds an irrelevant ghost of the past here in the Higher Plane.

  Every brush of his hand sent a wild thrill through me. He pulled me to my feet, and I tossed my head back with joy as he spun, twirling me around the room. The hazel confetti on the ground faded, but the light show continued above us. The now softer, more pastel, cotton-candy clouds of our affection floated around the room, gradually beginning to shift into a perfect gradient of violet, pink, and light blue. Our glow from the flitting lights remained. It’s gorgeous and peaceful. It was like we had manifested our own sunset.

  Dorian leaned me against one of the crumbling walls and cupped my face in his hand. A soft golden glow fell across our faces. "You are so enchanting to me," he whispered. "I've never been more fascinated by someone."

  I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, just appreciating him and this precious moment. With everything that lay ahead of us, marriage had been the last thing on my mind. I’d had no idea that he was about to propose. I sighed and looked up at him, admiring the strong angle of his jaw. Suddenly, tears blurred my vision again. Dorian brushed them away.

  "What's wrong?"

  A strong sense of melancholy washed over me as reality began to sink in. My body felt it before my mind had time to catch up. What if we only had a few short moments together in this life, before… I closed my eyes, feeling tears stream down my face.

  "We may not have much longer together." I let out a strangled, half-laughing sob. "God, why is everything in our love life so morbid?" I couldn't help finding a dark humor in it. We already knew what hung over our heads. We’d carried around the weight of death this entire journey, as though the Grim Reaper himself might be waiting at the end of the course.

  "Kane, Bravi, Zach, Roxy, Gina, Laini," Dorian muttered with a playful smile. "Even if we don't make it, those stubborn friends of ours will work with Ruk to make things right. The tear will be sealed, one way or another." He squeezed my shoulders reassuringly. Yes, one way or another—which meant either with or without us. I sighed, collecting myself.

  "We've seen all three worlds set on a track to completely fall apart." I shook my head. "In some ways, I realize how lucky I am to have had so many experiences, even if some of them have been devastating. No other human has gotten to experience what I have, and yet… I hate that we have had to see such destruction. It's always felt like we've been on the edge, shouting into the void for someone to listen. Now? This is our last chance to get anyone to hear us." I considered our allies, grateful that they were clearly alive and safe for the moment. "We have such brave friends… I just wish there were more of us." It was a special kind of frustrating to think back to the Bureau and how long it took for us to break down the conspiracy running amok inside it. My spirit felt like it had aged at least two centuries in the last several months. I poked Dorian's chest.

  He raised an amused eyebrow. "Yes, my dearly betrothed?"

  "Sometimes I think about the moment when you scooped me up on that mission. I had no idea what was waiting for me."

  He smirked. "Neither did I. Drigar and I thought we were out for a normal, casual kidnapping to secure a human ally."

  I let out a laugh, the last of my tears drying up along with the chuckle. Unexpectedly, Zach's brown eyes full of goofy determination came to my mind. How I wished he was here right now. I would tease him that, since he and Gina had been together for years, no one would have expected me to be the first sibling to take this step toward the altar.

  "My brother is alive, and your parents are too," I said. "Of course, I’m still trying to puzzle out what we saw in the tear before Ruk's show. The time thing is giving me a major headache. The things we saw when it was just us worried me.”

  Dorian nodded sagely. "Jia himself said that the time might be different in what we saw. It might only be possibilities." He tucked my head under his chin for a moment, and I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying the feeling of warmth. "During our training, I used what the universe showed us to keep pushing forward. If there's a possibility that we could change the terrible things we saw, I desperately want to."

  My mind brought up Laini and the awful scene of the blood pouring from her mouth and her brutal chest wound. I grabbed onto Dorian harder, greedily soaking up his heat to fight off a sudden chill.

  "Maybe we can," I said. "We could still win the Games and get ourselves home. We’ve trained hard. There's still the possibility that we can get back and prevent it."

  Dorian said nothing, but
I saw his throat bob like he wanted to say something. I couldn’t help but think that it might be a caution against hanging too much on hope, but at this point, what choice did we have? We needed to sink our teeth into every ounce of hope still left within us. I wasn't letting go of the idea of returning home. I want to see Zach, my parents, Gina, Roxy, everyone…

  I rubbed my temples as my mind began to ache with the telltale sign that it had taken too much strain even in stasis. We had other problems, it struck me, as I stared at Dorian's chest right in front of me. The curse. We knew now that it was purposefully set by the arbiters when they designed the ancestors of vampires and that it had been passed down since then. How were we supposed to deal with that? Although our Higher Plane journey was far from ideal, it had been nice to forget the curse without having to worry about the blood issue, which was a cure I was keen never to try ever again, especially when I knew it wasn’t a permanent solution.

  Would we ever find a cure? Would we ever be allowed to find a cure?

  I stared up into Dorian's face, searching it. "Are you sure you really want to marry me when we still haven't figured out a way to fix the curse?" I licked my lips nervously. "Look, I understand it's hard. We both know that. When we get back to the lower planes, we won't be able to be near each other without hurting like before." It was almost unbearable to think about.

  "Of course I want to marry you," Dorian answered immediately, to my relief but not surprise. Had he really thought it through? The tear was at the top of our list, hanging over us like a dark, angry cloud, but the curse was the wind whipping in our faces. It was a reminder that even if things went perfectly, we would still have to deal with it. A shadow passed over Dorian's face.

  "What?"

  "I can't believe the arbiters deliberately placed that restriction on vampires and humans," Dorian muttered in disbelief. "How is it logical to decide to deny the possible love and experience so many vampires and humans could have had over the ages just because it might have slightly inconvenienced their system? A system which was already flawed. Their so-called rationale is warped and twisted. I can't even understand it."

  I chewed the inside of my cheek, a feeling of annoyance crawling over my skin. "It still hasn’t really sunk in for me yet that all these struggles we’ve had are because the arbiters decided to shirk their responsibility and create the Separation. The rise of Irrikus, how bad the tear has gotten, the pain you and I have to suffer through just to be close to one another…”

  Dorian's gaze settled on me. There was an edge to his eyes that made me wary.

  "There is still the imperfect blood fix," he said. "We won't be in the midst of war after we fix everything. It could be a temporary solution, one that won't send you over the edge if we don't have to do battle." There was something he didn’t add, and it was hopefully.

  I scoffed and shook my head fiercely, sending my hair every which way. "Absolutely not. It was hell to feel that muck leave my body, and it was horrific to feel it in me, the person it led me to be. When you cleansed me of that pocket of darkness, it was like breathing in fresh air for the first time in weeks." My cheeks warmed with shame. "I hate to admit that I even let it get that far."

  "We were desperate," he argued, making excuses to make me feel better. I placed a hand on his chest to stop him, saying nothing. It was a kind gesture from him, but I didn't want to even entertain the thought of the blood fix again. I searched his face once again, looking for honesty.

  "Will you be satisfied waiting and figuring this out? It might become our main problem, after we save the universe and all." I laughed as the words flew out of my mouth. "Geez, even saying it makes my head spin, but I'm serious. We might have to be apart for a while, without the distraction of a mission or bigger purpose that we can cling to, you know?” I knew in my heart of hearts that I'd be willing to do that and would love him throughout it, but…

  What about Dorian?

  He tucked a piece of wayward hair behind my ear. "I know that very well, Lyra Sloane. My love for you will never fade. Even if we have to stay apart for long periods of time, I will be there for you in my own way. We both will. And… if we can solve the problem with the tear, I’d say it’s pretty likely that we can do anything together."

  His hand came to rest on my cheek as he stared down into my eyes. The intensity of it made my skin grow hot, no longer from shame, but from the sheer bluntness of his desire for me. Given the origin of the curse, it was ironic that the Higher Plane could offer us this close proximity. I whispered a silent thanks to the universe, though I wasn’t sure if it was even listening.

  "We'll find a way through this,” he said. “If we return to—"

  "When we return," I corrected him.

  He cleared his throat. "When we return to the Immortal Plane, we'll have to put our pain aside, but we've done that before. Besides, you do realize that Ruk owes us an immensely large favor? Perhaps… perhaps he can modify us in some way." He shrugged. "It's just a thought that's been in the back of my mind. If he could make an aquatic wildling walk on land, maybe he can help us with the curse."

  The thought struck me, fresh and new. I hadn't considered that, since Ruk often lamented about his energy, and therefore his abilities, being stripped away. But if he had enough energy… well, there were probably a lot of things he could do. Perhaps he would even be able to alter us on a cellular level to nullify the curse for us. I thought of Aurora floating in that awful tank. Would he be willing to risk changing another creature after seeing what could go wrong? I wasn't sure, but Dorian was right. Ruk owed us, especially me, because I’d been the one to release him from the chains Irrikus and Sempre had locked him in for over nine hundred years. I tried to push the image of her healed-over, stump-like legs from my mind, promising myself that we would do everything we could to save her.

  But Dorian's thought was interesting, and it was certainly another reason to fight. Of course, I wanted to save everyone in the universe, but the added possibility of fixing the curse energized me. I took a steadying breath, my mind still spinning from the possibilities.

  Dorian craned his neck to admire the sky. Our sobering conversation had shifted the clouds to a gentler violet, but the amber lights continued to float around. Our love was still in the air. His arms tightened protectively around me. His mouth brushed my ear as he whispered, "This may be one of our last private moments together." He pulled back a few inches to give me a mischievous look. "As engaged partners, at least."

  I smirked, taking his meaning. For a moment, I let myself drop all my worries about the upcoming Games. We had trained as much as we could. Hell, we'd been training our whole lives for it in many ways. I sank against Dorian and moaned as he kissed me again. I wanted to enjoy this moment. Nobody could take this away from us right now. The Games were going to happen at some point, and I couldn’t stop that, but in the meantime, I would soak up every ounce of love he had to offer. I smiled as he turned me away from the wall. Never letting our lips part, we stumbled over to our makeshift bed. Again, there were hushed murmurs and promises of love. It was time to celebrate this new tier of our relationship with the time we had left.

  Slowly, we peeled each other's clothes off. I started with Dorian's shirt, hungrily pressing my hands to the rugged planes of his powerful chest and stomach. I could see the years of dedication to training as a warrior on his body, as well as the scars of battles past. It always gave me a rush to see him like this; I knew he felt the same way when he saw me naked. Our eyes met for a wavering, vulnerable second as the last of our clothes fell to the ground.

  "I'm still not ready to take that big step," I confessed. "Not in a hurry like this. And I know we have death looming over us, but…"

  Dorian smiled. The corners of his eyes crinkled with loving humor as he leaned forward to capture my lips.

  "That just gives me another incentive to survive the battle and get to our wedding." He winked. "But I want to memorize every inch of you beforehand. It'll be a good motiv
ation technique for us going into the Games."

  We settled onto our bed. My eyes raked over him unabashedly. I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away. I'd been more vulnerable with him than anyone else in my entire life. It was exciting even if we'd done something similar before… but this time it felt different. My future husband. I poked the thought like a beautiful new bruise as I danced my hands up his naked thigh. I gently kissed a fading scar on his side, frozen in time by the stasis of the Higher Plane. He shivered beneath my touch, his breath shuddering with desire.

  "I love that I can make you do that," I admitted.

  His eyes roved over me, just as hungry as I felt for him. We touched each other with feather-light caresses. Nothing went too far or too fast, even though sometimes my own desire pooled hot inside me and begged for it. I wanted to experience that together as husband and wife. The thought of us, married and happy, sent a thrill through me. Above us, the amber lights pulsed as if in time with my heartbeat as our touches grew softer. We lay on our sides beside one another, gazing into each other's eyes, then taking breaks to admire each other's body.

  "There's nobody else in the entire universe I'd rather be with," Dorian whispered and kissed me gently. He grinned wickedly. "And I can say that definitively after having been to all three planes in existence."

  I laughed, and he silenced it with another kiss. Of all the paths I could've taken in life, I was happy I’d chosen this one.

  I pressed my lips against his one final time. The amber lights faded, as if sensing our need for sleep, and one by one began to snuff themselves out like candles. We fell into quasi-sleep still wrapped up in each other's arms, skin to skin. My satisfaction made me warm all over. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was the gorgeous sight of a final dancing light above us. It was an aurora of hazel and pale icy blue. The color of both our eyes. I smiled and drifted off in Dorian's arms. The Higher Plane could be really beautiful when it wanted to be.