Body Bags & Blarney

by Shaw, J. D.

  “Really?” Vivienne was intrigued. She grabbed a small corn broom from behind the counter and began to sweep the work area floor.

  “Think about it. How many times have you been asked while waiting to speak to an operator on the phone if you would like to try their online solution center?” Stephanie asked as she neatly worked the icing from one cookie to the next.

  “Quite a bit, actually.” Vivienne agreed. “You have to navigate through a slew of voice menus to even get the option to speak to a real person.”

  “Exactly. My professor had us watch an old Twilight Zone episode about a man who slowly automated his factory until not a single human worker was needed.” Stephanie recalled as she emptied one bottle of frosting and grabbed another to finish off the batch of cookies.

  “I remember that one. In the end, the computer ends up telling him he was no longer needed as he is now obsolete.” Vivienne chuckled. “I guess we never learned the lesson in that episode.”

  “Well, as much as I love my smartphone, I still try to spend quality time with my friends and family. A virtual hug can only go so far.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” Vivienne swept a plethora of sprinkles, flour, sugar, salt, and other baking ingredients into a little pile on the floor and then grabbed her dustpan. “Perhaps the human race isn’t doomed to a future of technology-induced isolation after all?”

  Stephanie finished the tray of tulips and set them aside to dry. “We can only hope.”

  “Those look terrific.” Vivienne beamed with pride at her assistant’s work on the cookies. “Don’t you wish the real thing were outside? Oh, how I love the smell of spring flowers in the air.”

  “I haven’t even seen a crocus leaf poking up from the ground yet.” Stephanie commented. “So you know we’ve got a long wait for some color outside.” She reached into her apron and pulled out a scrap of paper. “I wanted to show you something.”

  Vivienne emptied the dustpan into a trash bin and shut the lid. “Sure thing. What have you got?” She hung the broom and dustpan back on its wall rack and pulled a small antibacterial hand gel from her apron pocket. As she squeezed some on her hands and rubbed them together, she wandered over to see what Stephanie wanted to show her.

  Stephanie produced a hand drawn picture of a fleur-de-lis. “I thought this year, just in time for Mardi Gras, we could use the king cake batter to make petit fours and decorate them with some images from the carnival season.”

  “I like that.” Vivienne nodded eagerly. “Mardi Gras is next Tuesday, so we need to get moving on this project.”

  “I was thinking we could create some delicious fillings, like praline and cream cheese, pineapple and mango, even a French silk chocolate.” Stephanie continued. “It would give people a little taste of king cake on the go.”

  “You just gave me a great idea.” Vivienne snapped her fingers. “I was just on the phone with Dowling Tax & Payroll. I bet they could sell me a small box of those parade trinkets that we could put randomly into some of the petit fours.”

  “You think they would part with a box?” Stephanie asked.

  “They have time to order more before the parade.” Vivienne reasoned. “Anyone that finds one, will get a twenty-five percent off coupon for their next purchase when they bring it in.”

  “That sounds great.” Stephanie smiled back. “Just like finding the little baby inside the king cake.”

  Vivienne was about to speak when the phone rang. “I’ve got it.” Vivienne hopped toward the counter. “Sweet Dreams Bakery, how may I make your day more delicious?”

  Stephanie walked over to the cake pans and pulled out the full sheet size. She placed her drawing of the fleur-de-lis on the bottom and began to map out how many she could get out of each cake batch. Given the fourteen by twenty-two inch dimensions of the pan, she would easily be able to make fifteen to twenty double-layered treats.

  Vivienne scribbled another order down onto her notepad. “Yes, I can do the cherry chip cake with the cream cheese filling. What color scheme would you like for the flowers?” Vivienne listened for a moment and then scribbled down the selection. “Sounds perfect. A double layer round cake will be twenty-five dollars. If you want to add another layer, it would be thirty.” Vivienne smiled at Stephanie as she awaited the customer to make a decision. She grinned and gave Stephanie the thumbs up. “Triple layer it is. We’ll see you next Monday at noon.” She hung up and moved to the computer to put the order in the database.

  Stephanie brought the sheet pan over to the front counter. “I can easily get fifteen or so out of this. What were you thinking for a price point?”

  Vivienne paused for a moment. “Well, given a single layer of filling, what about four dollars each?”

  “Sixty dollars a sheet pan. Sounds like a winner to me.” Stephanie commented.

  Vivienne put the new order into the computer system. “I’m going to make a personal visit over to Dowling Tax & Payroll to see if I can buy a box of trinkets off them.” She grabbed some wax paper sheets and reached into the display case, pulling out a half dozen blueberry crumb muffins. “It never hurts to start negotiations with an offer of delicious baked goods.”

  Stephanie handed her a small box to set the muffins inside of. “If only every business worked this way.”

  “I’d be a millionaire.” Vivienne chuckled and closed the top of the box. “Wish me luck.”

  * * *

  As Vivienne drove her Toyota Matrix along Cobbler Avenue, she was pleased that Patricia had been more than happy to sell her a box of trinkets for the same wholesale price they had paid. What she hadn’t expected was still having the box of muffins next to her on the front passenger seat.

  Patricia had explained that the rest of the staff were attending a business tax seminar up in Albany and suggested the muffins go to someone who could enjoy them at their peak freshness.

  As she turned the corner onto the lower part of Lake Shore Drive, her eyes fell upon a large canvas tent that was being erected on the grounds of the Shoreline Baptist Church. She could see a rental truck pulled along the curb where several men were unloading those large outdoor heaters she had seen used to keep people warm on patios at restaurants during the fall months.

  She slowed as she approached the welcome sign to the church to read the message for the week. ‘Tent Revival Saturday at 7PM: Witness the miracle of His greatness with Pastor Seamus Kilpatrick.’ Vivienne wanted to pull over and find out more about what was going on, but she thought better of having another run in with Eunice Kilpatrick. She didn’t see her anywhere around, but she was certain the moment she stepped out of the car she would appear to read her the riot act about Joshua’s actions the night before. It was best to keep on driving to her destination, which just so happened to be the site of many previous uncomfortable confrontations: The Nora Finch homestead.

  Nora, much to Vivienne’s surprise, was nothing but hospitable and welcoming to her daughter during her surprise visit. They shared a coffee and some blueberry muffins in the kitchen, had a pleasant conversation about Nora’s plans to take a five day New England coastline cruise with Clara Bunton in July, and most impressive of all, she had complimented Vivienne’s successful running of her business.

  Up in the attic, Vivienne rubbed her arms together as the cozy heat below failed to make it up the folding ladder steps. “Where is the light switch again?”

  “Keep reaching up. It’s on one of those long metal cords.” Nora replied from the base of the ladder which she held tight to. “I always told your father to put a switch down here on the wall but he never did.”

  Vivienne reached blindly through the dark attic air until her right hand brushed against a cold metal cord. She gripped it firmly and gave a little tug. The single sixty-watt bulb blazed to life, illuminating the cob-webbed rafters above her. “Found it.”

  “Good.” Nora replied. “Now don’t take too long, all the heat is going to bleed right up there and my electric bill is sky high enough as it
is.”

  Vivienne pulled herself up to the floor of the attic and marveled at how small it actually was. In her childhood memory, it was such a cavernous, dark land full of places where ghosts and monsters lurked amongst the shadows. But as an adult, it was simply a cramped storage space with a six foot ceiling, uncomfortably sloping walls, and the lingering scent of old newspapers and mothballs.

  Truth be told, there really wasn’t as much in storage in the attic as she had originally thought. She recalled helping her mother remove some of it to the garage and basement after her father had died, but she always thought there had been much more just waiting to be moved. It was a rather pleasant surprise to discover her memory was wrong.

  “I never trusted this ladder.” Nora pointed out from the safety of the floor below. “I was always convinced it would break and send me tumbling to my death.”

  “Thanks, Mother.” Vivienne always found it amusing how easily her mother volunteered her to scale the ladder of death without hesitation.

  She pivoted around and opened the tops of several large cardboard boxes that were not labeled. Inside one she found a stash of old Christmas lights and outdoor décor that her father had used to decorate the yard during the holidays. In another, she discovered a pair of old box fans that they had used to cool their home with before the central air was installed. Finally, on the third try she saw some posters rolled up and kept closed with rubber bands. She pulled one out and went to undo the band when it crumbled with age. She unfurled the poster and felt her face flush with embarrassment. It was a New Kids on the Block poster that had hung above her bed when she was a teenager. Their youthful, smiling faces, complete with bad early nineties fashion, reminded her of just how old she was getting. It seemed like ages ago that she answered quizzes in teen magazines about which of the guys she would most likely go on a date with, or even marry. “I think I found what I was looking for.” Vivienne called down.

  “Well, hurry up and bring it down so we can close the attic up.” Nora replied.

  “There are some other boxes up here, do you want me to bring them down too?”

  “What’s in them?” Nora asked.

  “Some Christmas lights, some decorations, a couple of box fans.” Vivienne rattled off. “I didn’t go through them all.”

  “Just leave that up there. I don’t want any of that old junk cluttering up my clean house.”

  “Fine.” Vivienne reached down into the cardboard box and found what she was looking for. It was a small plastic treasure chest that she had purchased from the mall with her allowance. She placed it under her arm, turned off the light, and carefully navigated the ladder back down to the carpeted hallway outside of Nora’s bedroom.

  “Why didn’t you bring the entire box down?” Nora asked. “It’s probably all yours anyway.”

  “I didn’t want it all tonight.” Vivienne said as she folded the ladder and closed the attic access.

  “You’ve got plenty of space in your house.” Nora added.

  “Not as much since Joshua moved most of his possessions into my place.”

  Nora frowned. “Well, I just don’t like to have a cluttered home.”

  “Do you serve tea up in the attic when friends call?” Vivienne quipped.

  “Don’t be smart.” Nora warned with a raised index finger. “If I could get up there safely I’d dust it daily.”

  “I’m just saying, it’s not exactly a pig sty up there.” Vivienne spoke softly. “You have maybe a dozen small boxes in the entire attic. Most people would kill to have that little stored away.”

  “Well, you know how those little things bother me.” Nora continued. “It’s like going to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes. I can almost hear the plates pleading to be washed and put away properly.”

  “You have a dishwasher, Mother. I don’t think you have to worry about that anymore.”

  Nora glanced at the myriad of family photographs that lined the walls as they walked toward the main stairs. “Thank heaven for small favors.” She eyed the treasure chest in Vivienne’s arm. “Whatever do you need that gaudy thing for?”

  Vivienne stopped at the top of the staircase and popped the top open. “I’m using these parade trinkets for a window display.”

  Nora peeked at the little plastic coins, figurines, and bead necklaces. “Oh, that’s a charming idea.”

  “I thought so too.” Vivienne explained as she shut the top. “There’s a lot of memories attached to these things in here. I’m hoping that they’ll spark the interest of window shoppers who will then come in and buy something.”

  “You know, I think Nana Mary has a box of some of those trinkets too. You might want to check with her this week.”

  “Oh, some vintage parade memorabilia would be awesome in the window display.” Vivienne descended the stairs and retrieved her jacket from the wall hook where she had hung it by the front door. “Are you going to see her this weekend?”

  “I was just over there yesterday. I brought her a box of the chamomile tea she likes so much.” Nora smiled. “With this blasted cold spell, I thought she’d appreciate it.”

  “I’m sure she did.” Vivienne smiled back.

  “I’m glad I could help.” Nora leaned forward and gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t go running around so much that you catch a cold.”

  “I’ll try not to, Mother.” Vivienne handed her the treasure chest as she put her jacket on. “I really should get back and see how Stephanie is holding up.”

  “Yes.” Nora agreed. “You do have it easy with such a dependable young lady in your employ.”

  “Agreed.” Vivienne felt a twinge of nervousness hit her as she thought about what was going to happen when Stephanie graduated from college.

  “Are you okay, honey?” Nora asked.

  “Oh, I’m fine. I was just thinking about something down the road I’ll have to deal with.”

  “You looked a bit scared.” Nora noted. “Are you worried because Joshua hasn’t proposed yet?”

  “What?” Vivienne laughed. “I think it’s a little early for that step.”

  Nora shrugged. “I’m not making any judgments.”

  “Good.” Vivienne said with a forced smile. “Because that’s not at all what I was thinking about.”

  “Oh.” Nora replied a bit crestfallen. “I don’t think that if he asked you this early it would necessarily be a bad thing.”

  “We don’t even officially live together yet. He stays at my place most of the time, but we still have separate homes.”

  “Well, don’t let him have it that easy for too much longer.” Nora protested.

  “Mother, what are you talking about?”

  Nora raised an eyebrow. “When a gentleman has a bachelor pad, it gives him a certain amount of freedom that could lead to trouble in the long run.”

  “A bachelor pad?” Vivienne blinked in surprise.

  “Don’t make fun.” Nora protested. “An apartment, a house, whatever it is he lives in. When a single man has his own place for too long, he’s less likely to pop the question.”

  Vivienne took a deep breath. “What talk show did you see this on?”

  “It wasn’t a talk show, smarty pants.” Nora replied. “It was in a women’s magazine article I read over at Doctor Peterson’s when I was waiting to get my teeth cleaned last week.”

  “Oh, well I’m glad that you’re citing a psychologically validated source.” Vivienne added.

  “Fine, don’t listen to your mother.” Nora raised her hands in the air in defiance.

  “I’m just saying that the relationship that Joshua and I have is working just fine for the both of us.” Vivienne reasoned. “I have no intention of rocking the boat.”

  “And I’m just warning you not to become a lonely spinster cat lady who let all the eligible men slip away.”

  “May I remind you, you gave me the second cat for Christmas?” Vivienne replied. “Isn’t that called aiding and abetting?”

  �
�Oh, hush.” Nora laughed. “Goodbye, darling daughter.”

  “Goodbye, Mother.” Vivienne opened the door as a strong breeze swirled her auburn hair upwards. “I’ll call you when the window is done so you can come look.” She waved goodbye as the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

  “Sounds like Joshua is being kept busy today.” Nora said with concern.

  “Job security.” Vivienne waved goodbye and hurried to her car. She could hear two distinct sirens and they both sounded not too far away. Whatever it was that was happening, she hoped it was nothing serious. Unfortunately, she didn’t have time to satisfy her curiosity. She had a window display to work on, followed by a late dinner with Joshua. She looked at her watch and noticed the time was nearly four in the afternoon. It was going to be takeout from Shanghai Sunset once again.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  After closing up her bakery for the day, Vivienne parked her car in front of the Shanghai Sunset Chinese restaurant on Weyer Place. As she stepped out onto the street, an acrid smell filled her nostrils. She hoped that it wasn’t the Imperial Feast dinner box for two she was about to pick up, as the smell was somewhere between charred wood and melted plastic.

  As she stepped into the lobby of the restaurant, she was happy to discover that it was not coming from the kitchen area. Vivienne walked past the rows of potted palm trees that lined the faux-granite floor and approached the takeout counter.

  “Vivienne Finch, bless my soul, how nice to see you.” Father William smiled as he waited for one of the staff to bag his dinner order.

  “Father William, how are you?” Vivienne walked up to the counter next to him.

  “Just enjoying a little treat.” He grinned. “I just love the spring rolls here.”

  “They are tasty.” Vivienne replied. “Joshua and I eat her at least twice a month.”

  A young Asian woman handed a paper bag to Father William. “Thank you and please come again.”