by Megg Jensen
My mother nodded, gave me one more hug, and then headed back to her cottage. The others had retired long ago, there was no one around to see me open a portal. I flicked my fingers, bringing the sparkling portal to life. I stepped through, eager to get ready for Elessia’s funeral. Afterward I would tell Chase everything. He would help me find a way to protect Mags, Trevin, and my mother. Once they were free, we could finally figure out how she could help me with Wren’s dire prediction.
Chapter Eighteen
I slipped the silk dress over my head, shimmying it over my waist. It was the most expensive gown I’d ever worn. It was a fitting tribute to Elessia, who’d risked everything for Chase and I. She deserved the finest at her funeral for what she’d sacrificed. It was one small thing I could do to honor her.
Running a brush through my silver curls, I wondered who’d ordered the dress to be left in my room. Was it Chase? Or Reychel? I’d thank them both, just to be sure. After a quick splash of water to my face, I slipped on the matching silk slippers. I took a glance in the mirror. I tried not to think about how much better I would have looked with my red hair, instead of this mess of grievous silver.
A knock at the door interrupted the first vain thoughts I’d had in months. I opened it to find Chase on the other side, dressed in his finest doublet. A tentative smile crossed his face.
“This wasn’t how I pictured us on our first night out together.” His eyes looked me up and down. “The clothes are right, but the event is wrong.” He held out a hand to me. “You look beautiful.”
A blush crossed my face. “Thank you, but like you said, this isn’t the time.”
He cocked his head to the side. “You look different. It’s not just the dress. It’s something else.”
A smile broke out on my face, so hard I thought my cheeks might crack. I was still high from my meeting with my mother. This entire week had been one of healing. I hadn’t felt so good for so long my whole life.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
Chase’s eyebrow lifted. “Really? What is it?”
I felt my stomach flip at his gaze. If my mother could finally be a real mother, then maybe there would be a place in my heart for Chase too. Miracles were known to happen, but so many at once was unfathomable. Yet not unwelcome.
“I’ll tell you later tonight. We need to honor Elessia’s life first,” I said. With a pang of sadness, I realized I still had more sorrow to slog through before I could concentrate on all of the happiness.
Chase nodded, taking my hand in his. “You’re right. Are you ready?”
I squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. He opened a portal and we stepped through together.
The cemetery stood in stark contrast to my day. The darkness permeated it so deeply, I couldn’t imagine sunlight ever gracing the tombstones. Laid out in neat rows, they stood like soldiers protecting the dead who lay below the ground.
A deep hole had already been dug for Elessia. At my request, she would be laid to rest next to Bryden. I slipped my hand out of Chase’s and tiptoed around to Bryden’s tombstone.
I hadn’t been out to visit it. Chase had offered many times to bring me, but I knew Bryden was gone. Only his shell remained behind. I ran my fingers along the cold stone. I traced the outline of his chiseled name. A cold shiver ran through my body. If I could just see him once more, tell him how much I loved him, everything would be complete. We didn’t have enough time.
All of it was taken away too soon by the woman who’d held me today while I cried. I never would have predicted that months ago. As far as I knew, Chase hadn’t had a vision about it either. I was walking blind.
A small hand on my back startled me. I looked over my shoulder at Wren. Her blond hair had been combed until it shined in the moonlight like a star shower in the deep of night.
“He loves you,” she whispered.
I nodded. Back to this game again. “Yes, I know.” I wanted to give her mind a little peace on the topic. She’d been so insistent the other day. I kneeled down next to her.
She leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Come with me.” Her hand slipped into mine. She tugged me away from Bryden’s marker.
“I can’t,” I said. “Not now, sweetie. I’m here to celebrate Elessia’s life before we put her to rest. Maybe we can play later, okay?” I patted her silky hair.
She shook her head. “Soon.”
“Yes, soon,” I promised.
She wandered to her waiting father. He eyed me curiously as he scooped her up in his arms. Wren snuggled her sweet head into his shoulder, just as I’d done with my mother earlier. Love between a parent and a child amazed me. It was finally my turn to experience it.
I kissed my fingertips, and then laid them on Bryden’s name. He was gone. I could finally let go.
My eyes fell on the ground as Chase’s boots landed next to me. He held his hand down. I took it, letting him pull me up to standing.
“Xaxier says we’re about to start,” he said. We walked carefully around the graves to Elessia’s. I looked at her stone, so close to Bryden’s, and smiled. Neither of them would ever be alone again. Chase squeezed my hand, reminding me that I wouldn’t be alone either. I had him. I had Sebrina and now my mother and Mags. It was possible I could live, even happily.
A few other people gathered around the grave. Reychel and Mark stood back, off to the side. The stable master and his daughter were behind them, tending to the horses Reychel and Mark had ridden to the cemetery. Chase had told me earlier that since Reychel lost her gift she’d preferred to travel on horseback rather than portals. Using one with Chase had been the first time in a long time, only done because of the immediacy of the situation.
“Not many here had the pleasure of knowing Elessia,” Xaxier said, “but we owe her a great debt. When the Malborn abducted Chase, she was assigned to watch him. Not only did she grow to care about him, but she later served as a spy for him before her death. She served us all by helping someone we love keep us safe. There is no greater achievement in life.” Xaxier paused. “Chase, would you like to say a few words?”
I squeezed his hand twice, and then let go. He smiled at me and took his place in front of everyone.
“Elessia was a special woman. When I was a kid, a pompous kid, I might add, she tolerated me. Barely.” Chase flashed one of his bright smiles, letting us know it was okay to laugh. “Over the years, though, we grew close. She always stood by her people, never wavering that their vision of life was the right one. She said that someone had to be the winner, and why not the Malborn?”
An eerie silence fell over the small group.
Chase cleared his throat, and then continued. “After Elessia met Lianne, she realized that maybe everything I’d been telling her all those years was true. She’d seen the pictures, heard my rantings in my sleep deep in the night, but never thought any of it could be real. Meeting Lianne changed her. If my visions were true, then maybe everything I’d been telling her about her people was true too.
“Elessia decided to spy on a few of their leaders and report back to me. She made this choice on her own. I never asked her to put her life in danger. Sadly, she learned that I was right.” He paused, choked up. “She lost her life because of it.”
My heart pounded and I felt slightly dizzy. Chase hadn’t told me any of this until now. I didn’t know how integral my presence had been to her death. I knew it deep in my heart that she made her own choices.
But my soul cried out for her life. She risked everything because of me. The scent of moonflower permeated the air, its light fragrance tickling my sensitive eyes. I was so weary from all the crying I did earlier with my mother, I couldn’t stomach the thought of one more tear cascading down my cheek.
My chest burned, as if something was ripping me apart from the inside. It couldn’t be more grief. I’d put it to rest not moments before. With a sad resignation, I realized I hadn’t tucked it away as soundly as I had believed. The gut-wrenching pain snak
ed its way back into my body and soul, reminding me that most of the death and loss could directly be attributed to me.
Chase had finished speaking about Elessia, but I didn’t even noticed until he rejoined my side. Xaxier and three men lowered Elessia’s coffin into the hole in the ground next to Bryden. Maybe they could name this section of the cemetery after me. The first two buried here were dead because of me.
Chase took my hand again, but I left mine limp in his grasp. I wanted nothing more than to run away, escape this place. Out of respect for Elessia, and for Chase, I held my ground. Chase grabbed a handful of dirt, tossing it on top of Elessia’s coffin. I tossed the flowers I held in my hand.
We turned and walked away slowly, letting Xaxier and his men complete their job. Chase’s parents mounted their horses, trotting back toward the castle without even a wave at us. The stable master flicked his fingers, opening a portal. He and Wren walked through, the portal closing not long after.
“He’s got magic?” I asked, surprised.
Chase flicked his fingers, opening his own portal. “He’s gifted. I told you before, the people here aren’t slaves. They can work wherever they choose. Horses are his love, other than his daughter, of course. His wife died in childbirth. Anyway, he wanted to work in the stables and is now the stable master.”
“That’s incredible.” There was so much I needed to learn about Chase’s land. In mine, magic was outlawed. Anyone who wasn’t royalty was a slave. Some were free, but their freedom came at a price, living under the thumb of the Fithian ruler. That changed when the Dalagans conquered the Fithians. I could only hope they’d learned to work together after the failed Malborn invasion.
“You wanted to tell me something tonight?” Chase put his hand under my chin, tilting it upward so I was looking him in the eyes. His eyes twinkled under the light of the moon. Just a few short minutes ago, I’d been so happy to tell him about my mother and our reunion. But after seeing the reality of what my choices wrought, I couldn’t feel the euphoria anymore. It was still down there, somewhere, but when I told him about my mother, I wanted it to be a happy occasion.
“Not tonight.”
His eyes fell, but he seemed to understand. “It’s probably for the best. Tonight belongs to Elessia.”
“And Bryden,” I whispered. I ran both hands through my hair. “I feel horrible for not coming to his burial. It’s as if I finally have the chance to make up for that tonight.”
Chase fingered a lock of my hair. “He loved you. He would have understood. Bryden didn’t want you to think of him as a dead body in the ground. He would have wanted to live on in your heart.”
“He does.” I laid my palm on my chest. My heart beat strongly, reminding me I was alive with every thump. “I think I want to be alone here for a few minutes.”
“I understand.” Chase held out his arms. I fell into them, returning his gentle embrace. Our hearts beat in sync. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”
I nodded and smiled, gesturing toward his portal. Then I turned and headed closer to the gravesite. Xaxier and his men were cleaning up their tools, placing them in a wheelbarrow. He opened a portal. His men filed through, one by one, the last one taking the wheelbarrow with him.
“Can I have a quick second with you, Lianne?” Xaxier asked. I smiled a bit at him. I knew he wasn’t evil, that he’d only been pretending to be while setting up my mother, but his dark hair and even darker eyes still gave me a fright.
“Of course.”
“I’m so sorry for everything. If I could have told you ahead of time, I would have. But if your mother would have suspected something was amiss, Chase might not have gotten there in time to help you.” He glanced quickly toward Bryden’s tombstone.
“Sometimes no matter what we do, someone pays the price,” I said. “I understand you did what you thought was right.”
“Your mother is a very dangerous woman,” he said.
“Was.”
“I don’t know. It’s hard for me to believe someone so twisted can change so quickly.” He shifted from foot to foot, no longer looking me in the eye.
“They severed her. I’m sure she’s changed.”
“I wouldn’t be so quick to believe it. Chase’s mother was severed, and she’s essentially still the same woman.”
“She remembers everything. It’s different.”
Xaxier shook his head. “Doesn’t matter, does it? She’s been taken care of and she won’t bother any of us again. It’s for the best, Lianne.”
I nodded to appease him. I knew it wasn’t for the best. She’d changed. I’d prove that to all of them.
“You okay here by yourself?” he asked. I nodded. Xaxier patted me on the back and walked through the portal.
It closed behind him, leaving me alone in the dark cemetery. I walked over to Bryden’s tombstone again. Sitting on the ground in front of it, I laid my cheek on the rough, cold stone.
“I miss you.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around my body for extra warmth against the cool breeze. “You always knew the right thing to do.”
Silence enveloped me, reminding me how alone I was.
“I didn’t want you to die and some days I’m not sure how to live without you. I’m trying my best to move on, to leave us in the past. But part of me knows if you were here, everything would be simpler. I could feel your arms around me, your lips on mine.”
I thought back to the last time we’d made love. I had thought I’d never be with another man. Now I faced an uncertain future.
“I feel like I’m drowning, Bryden. I don’t know who to hold on to. How can I find the right path without you?”
My chest heaved, taking in chilled breaths. “I’m so sorry it ended this way.”
Love never ends.
My head shot up. I glanced around the cemetery, looking for the source of the voice I’d just heard. I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the pain in my thighs from riding Aphotica. “Is someone there?”
I squinted in the dark, listened intently for the sound of a crunched leaf or broken branch. Silence.
I slid back down to the ground. For the third time that night, I traced Bryden’s name. “I thought I heard something. Stupid me. I thought maybe it was you, talking to me from beyond death.”
It’s me, Lianne.
Chapter Nineteen
I woke up the next morning, groggy and confused. My mind swam with images and sounds from the night before. Bryden’s gravestone. The voice that spoke to me. Could it really have been Bryden?
Yet there I was, back in my chambers the next morning, with no clue how I’d gotten there.
I rubbed my scalp, massaging myself awake. My eyelids fluttered against the blinding sun streaming into my chamber. Not only had I gotten back, but someone had taken the time to open the heavy curtains in my chamber. I’d kept them closed for months to keep out the sun, and the rest of the world.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I gasped, but then quickly realized it wasn’t the same voice I’d heard the night before. It wasn’t Bryden.
“Do you remember what happened last night?” Chase asked. He stood in the path of the sun, illuminated brighter than a torch in a dark hallway.
I shielded my eyes and sat up. “What I don’t remember is how I got back here. What do you know about it?”
He smiled sheepishly. “I checked on you last night, to be sure you returned safely. When you didn’t answer the door, I walked in and discovered you hadn’t been back. I ported to the cemetery and found you collapsed in front of Bryden’s tombstone.”
His eyes dropped toward the floor. “You were in such a deep sleep, I couldn’t wake you.” In a few long strides he crossed to the bed, sitting down next to me. His hands swept over my head.
I swatted him away. “What are you doing?”
“Checking for lumps. I didn’t find any last night, but I thought maybe the swelling hadn’t started yet. I wondered if you’d been hurt.”
His hands found t
heir way into my hair again, his fingertips gently probing my scalp. I didn’t protest this time, just sank against the upholstered headboard. A tingle rushed through my body. I stared at his eyes, so full of concern and worry. His palms stopped on both of my cheeks.
“Are you okay? Is there anything you want to tell me?” If I hadn’t heard that voice last night, giving me hope of connecting with Bryden in some way, I knew I would have asked Chase for our first kiss. The time was right. We both wanted it, but now something hung between us. Another mystery. Another wedge in whatever it was we were building together.
I cupped my hands over his. “I think Bryden spoke to me last night.”
Chase’s hands dropped to his lap, but his face fell further. I knew I’d ruined the moment, killed that precious time when we could have finally expressed our confused, but all too real, feelings for each other.
“That’s not possible. You must have been too cold last night. Sick. Hallucinating, maybe.”
He wanted to believe it was true. As long as Bryden stood between us, I couldn’t let myself love Chase fully. We both knew it.
I shook my head. “No. I heard him.”
“It could have been anyone,” Chase insisted.
“I know Bryden’s voice.”
Chase pushed off the bed. He paced across the room, his black boots hitting the floor with a thump. “You wish you heard him, Lianne.”
I squeezed the sheets between my fists. I knew what I heard last night.
“You were obviously hit on the head or something. I found you passed out. You dreamed it,” he said.
“I. Did. Not.” Still, the hole in my memory left a tiny space for doubt. Something had happened to me after I heard Bryden. I couldn’t deny that. But I was positive I’d heard his voice before I passed out.
Chase abruptly stopped pacing. He cracked his knuckles. “You know, I thought if I waited long enough you’d come around. Just the other day I thought you’d finally turned the corner, Lianne. I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, you were finally ready to give love a chance with someone else. I thought you’d come to terms with Bryden’s death.”