Into the Wind_A Love Story

by Jaclyn M. Hawkes

  Almost chuckling to herself, she gave Lije a grin and faced forward again, into the wind that blew down the valley in front of them. This was an amazingly different life than what she had been raised with, but she’d never been happier. It was truly much more satisfying to have a sure purpose to her life. Glancing back over her shoulder to her handsome husband, she gave a quiet sigh. Lije was definitely the most attractive and masculine man she’d ever come into contact with. As hard as their first days had been, she had found Lije because of it and would always be grateful. He truly was the best of men.

  From time to time, they had gone after cougars or bears and even coyotes that tried to kill the livestock, but with this last big snow, it seemed that the predators became more of a problem than ever. Three nights in a row, they heard coyotes yipping and howling. They made the livestock restless and Lije kept an extra hand on night watch in and around the pastures and pens.

  The third night, when shots rang out, Lije abruptly got up out of bed and threw on some clothing. As Brekka shrugged into a wrapper, her heart pounding, he reached above the parlor fireplace and took his rifle down. Turning back to her, he must have realized she was frightened, because he said, “Stay here and shoot the bolt on the door after I go out. I’m sure it’s just some varmint after the stock, but just in case, bolt the door. It’s probably already gone from the sound of things, so I won’t be gone long.”

  Wordlessly, Brekka nodded, wishing she was braver as he stepped outside, leaving her standing there in the chill, listening for any sound of what was going on outside. After a moment, she built up the fire and then went to don knitted slippers. She was just about to light a lamp in their room, willing Lije to hurry, when a sound from outside their bedroom window brought her head up. It was a strange place for the men or even a predator to be, as all of the livestock were clear on the other side of the house.

  With her heart pounding even more fiercely, she glanced around the room, but then another shot sounded, far on the other side of the house and her brow furrowed as she wondered what was going on out there that would have men or creatures moving around in such separate areas of the ranch.

  Instinctively, she stepped away from the bed and the unlit lamp on the bedside table. Feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, she quickly stepped to the side into the deep shadows beside the wardrobe cupboard and brushed the edge of the drapes hanging there around her body. The draperies were sheer enough that she could see through them and she wouldn’t be hidden if someone actually came into the room searching, but for someone outside the windows, she would blend into the deep shadows.

  For several seconds she stood there listening to her heart pound and feeling slightly sheepish because she was breathing as heavily as if she’d been running. Across the room, she could see moonlight on the snow outside the other window. Earlier, she’d drawn the drapes as she’d dressed for bed, but then when they’d blown the light out, she’d opened the curtains back up so they could see the beauty of the winter scene outside.

  Now, as she stood there in fear, that seemed frivolous and foolish. What if what she was hearing out that window wasn’t a coyote or cougar? What if that Indian had finally figured out where she was?

  She stood there, motionless, for long enough that her heart had finally stopped pounding and she could smile at herself and picture Lije’s grin when she told him she’d hidden behind the draperies. She heard nothing more out the window and eventually took a deep, calming breath. Just before putting her hand on the drape to push it out of the way to step out, she froze when a flicker of movement out the other window caught her eye. Inhaling quickly, she moved only her eyes to look that way.

  At first, she couldn’t see what had caught her attention, but then, ever so slowly, in the brightness of the moonlight on the snow, she saw a slightly darker shadow moving toward the window glass. It took nearly a minute to actually slide into view and as it did, Brekka’s breath caught roughly and she began to shake almost violently. Even just the silhouette of that stringy haired, war painted brave from that horrible day last summer brought back the fear that made her stomach clench and she was instantly nauseous.

  Realizing that she was nearly paralyzed with fear, she consciously made herself breath in and out, striving to fill her lungs with air as she stood there wondering what to do. Her first reaction was to stand perfectly still and pray that he didn’t see her, but then a part of her wanted to take just a single step forward toward the bed and reach under her pillow. She’d placed the little derringer pistol there when she’d laid down only a couple of hours ago.

  Unsure of what to do, she began to pray, asking for both her own safety and their child’s and Lije’s and whoever else was out there on this cold night watching over their ranch. She didn’t want to be alone over here with this skulking Indian, but she also hoped and prayed that Lije stayed wherever he was with the livestock and far from this man who she had no doubt would kill her husband and think nothing of it.

  She’d come to have the greatest respect for her husband’s survival skills in this relatively new land. She had no doubt that he was both smarter and more competent than this barbaric Ute—still, she wanted him safe and didn’t want her husband to have to kill someone. Hopefully, if the Ute didn’t find either one of them, he’d think this wasn’t their home and go away.

  The shadow moved ever so slowly until he came right up next to the glass and she could see his face as he peered into the room. Hopefully, all he could see would be the empty bed and a lot of deep shadows. Looking around through the curtain, moving only her eyes, Brekka was glad to see that she hadn’t left anything lying out that would lead anyone to believe a woman lived in that room.

  After a couple of minutes that felt like hours, the Indian finally moved away from the window, but Brekka didn’t move, knowing he was likely only going around the corner of the house to look in the very window she was standing beside. The idea that such a filthy, frightening person could possibly be standing only a few feet away from her on the other side of the wall made her breath catch again, and she had to remind herself that at least he wouldn’t be able to see her at all standing to the side of this window as she was. Still, she worked to keep her breathing quiet. Her heart was pounding so hard he could probably hear it if he was outside that wall.

  In the near silence, she suddenly heard the squeak of a step in the snow and she realized she was right. He really was just outside the window and as frightening as it was, it made her mad.

  Who did he think he was that he could come sneaking around their home like this? What kind of a savage did these kinds of things? He had absolutely no notion of success and honor having to do with good and noble things. His way was only about sneaking, and stealing, and abusing in the basest ways, exactly as was told of the idle and loathsome people in the Book of Mormon she read with Lije. It was pathetic actually, and if she hadn’t been so disgusted with having to protect themselves from such depravity, she would have felt sorry for the poor fool and his pitiful culture. As it was, she struggled not to hate him as she stood there with her heart pounding.

  A few minutes later, she heard his steps squeaking and crunching in the snow again as he walked away. Still, she didn’t move from her hiding place behind the drapery as she waited to see what would happen with Lije and the other hands and the livestock. She simply bowed her head and prayed again. If something happened to Lije . . .

  When Lije finally did pound on the front door, calling her name more than twenty minutes later, Brekka nearly jumped out of her skin and the tension she’d been struggling to contain finally broke. Tears welled into her eyes as she stepped out from behind the curtain and grabbed up the little derringer from under her pillow on the way to the door. She unbolted it and as soon as Lije walked in with snow crusted around his boots, but safe and whole, she all but threw herself into his arms.

  “Lije! Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  He hugged her tight and laughed, “Of course I
’m okay, Brek. Why wouldn’t I be? It was only an old mountain lion. Josh got him before he was able to harm any of the stock.”

  She leaned back and looked at him, hating to wipe the smile from his face. Finally, she shook her head and closed her eyes as she clung to his chest and whispered, “White Stone is here. He was outside the bedroom windows. Looking in.”

  Lije abruptly pulled back to look down into her face in consternation as he shook his head and said, “No one was out there, Brek. It was a mountain lion. And it’s dead. We’re all okay. Four of the hands were out there with me. We didn’t see anything but that ol’ cat.”

  “No.” Brekka shook her own head. “I saw him, Lije. I was hiding in the drapes and he looked in the window. I don’t know why I thought to hide, but I saw him with my own eyes. He was there. He’s out there.” She put her face back against his chest and the tears she’d been fighting welled over and she shivered.

  Stepping back from her, Lije studied her face for a moment as if to see if she was serious and then he went back to the door. Opening it, he fired off three shots spaced about two seconds apart into the dirt of the root cellar across the yard and then came back inside the house and bolted the door behind them. He wiped at the tears on her cheek, took her hand and walked with her to the fireplace. Setting her on the settee, he strode to the windows to double check that all the drapes were pulled and then shrugged out of his sheepskin coat before sitting down beside her and gathering her into his arms and saying, “Brekka, I’m so sorry you saw him when you were alone. Are you okay?”

  She closed her eyes and nodded, whispering, “I’m okay now that you’re back in here. I was so afraid when you were out there with him.”

  He rubbed the flat of his hand across her back and said, “I’m fine, Brekka. I didn’t see him and he didn’t see me. Those shots will signal the others that he’s been spotted. And tomorrow we’ll go after him, but tonight we’re fine here inside, snug as bugs in a rug and the others will watch for us. Lay here against me and see if you think you can get sleepy again and I’ll watch over you. You need to rest for the baby.” He rubbed again, back and forth slowly.

  Even as she felt the fatigue of her body and snuggled closer to Lije, she knew this was going to be a long, long night.

  The next morning, Lije found the tracks, right where Brekka had said she’d seen the brave and he sent Joseph out at first light to see if he could figure out if the Ute was still around or where he’d gone. Brekka hadn’t gone back to sleep until nearly dawn and Lije had stayed awake with her, holding her and trying to keep her mind off thoughts of the Indian, but he knew he hadn’t succeeded. He didn’t doubt that the nightmares she’d struggled with for so long would be back with a vengeance.

  Lars and his dad came by an hour or so after Joseph went out to tell him that Joseph had tracked the Indian a few miles back into the hills and thought he was heading away from Lauritzen’s Valley. Then they went to feed cattle as Lije went back to Brekka.

  He once again picked her up and carried her exhausted body, this time back into another bedroom and climbed back into bed with her. There was no way he was leaving her this morning and they were both tired to the bone. There was still a man up on the lookout point and all the hands were keeping their eyes open. Their vigilance was notched back up to its highest level again, and much as he wanted to be Christian and forgiving, Lije knew he wasn’t going to take a lot more of this before he went out hunting himself a Ute brave.

  From that next day, there were more hands around her and Lije’s house both day and night, and Heidi began to show up at the house again like she had when Brekka had first arrived in the valley and was so ill. Brekka knew that they were all trying to protect her without making it too obvious, and she loved them for it, but at times it became almost smothering. And who knew that having that many people in and around their house would put such a damper on her and Lije’s intimate life?

  Lije would hardly even think of letting her out of his sight, not that she wanted him to, but even as much as she enjoyed his company, she didn’t want to have to practically beg to be able to cross the yard to gather the eggs from the hen house. Then when she was out on her horse with him the next day, when she rode to the top of a hill to look over, she was surprised that he stopped what he was doing and rode up with her. It made her feel guilty for interrupting his work. After it happened a handful of times, she had to stop going to see what was on the other side, which was definitely not what her nature really wanted. It was safer, but so squelched her spirit.

  Not seeing any sign of the Indian, and the arrival of a very busy spring were the only things that brought relief from their fussing over her. And while Brekka felt freer, between the nightmares she began having again, and the constant strain of being careful, she wasn’t sure if she dared yet to feel safer.

  By the end of the second week after the Ute was spotted, the big snow had almost all melted and the sun traveling north up the horizon brought a marvelous warm spell that encouraged the earliest bright green of spring on the south faces.

  The ice was long gone off the creeks and she was finally baptized. It was just one more step that made her new life here feel more right and good than ever. Then, just the very next day, she got a letter from her father in Denmark, stating that he and Kristina were coming for a visit and would be arriving sometime in late July. It brought tears of joy to her eyes. She indeed loved her life here with Lije, but she had so missed her family back home. It would be wonderful to have them visit and meet Lije.

  Not long after the green began to appear, the first cows began to drop their calves and life in Lauritzen Valley moved from the relative ease of late winter, into the whirlwind pace of early spring. The herds had to be attended to around the clock and sleep for the hands became a precious thing that sometimes didn’t actually happen. Brekka and Heidi had to have a woman from town come out to help them prepare the food that one of the men usually helped with.

  At least it meant that there were large numbers of ranch hands around day and night that augmented the security of the valley.

  The calves came first, and then in quick succession, the sheep and goats dropped their young, and then the baby pigs and poultry were right behind them. Lastly, the broodmares in the south pasture foaled and Brekka had never in her life realized how utterly magical having that many baby animals around a ranch could be.

  Certainly there had been young animals born in the spring in Denmark, but there she’d been so far removed from it that she hadn’t truly experienced it. Here, she was literally in the middle of it and whether it was all more poignant because she was carrying her own child within, or simply because she was so much closer to it all, she didn’t know. All she knew was that each new lamb or chick or calf was a small enthusiastic miracle and as they bucked and played in the pastures and the barns they made her feel emotional. She spent hours watching them play and caring for them as they arrived.

  The healthy ones were so fun, but the sickly ones broke her heart. She knew after she broke down and sobbed when a calf she’d been trying to save, finally died, Lije was going to start insisting she not be quite so involved with it all.

  Even when he insisted she back off and take it easier, the spring blossoms in the orchards on the hill behind the house gave off such a heady fragrance that she couldn’t help but feel like all the world was a spring fairyland. The demands made her tired, but this valley that truly blossomed like a rose in the desert, had somehow become more of a precious home to her than Denmark had ever been. She was starting to understand what Lije meant when he said he loved this ground to his very soul.

  Now if only they didn’t have to worry about that Ute brave.

  Actually, a few weeks later she found that the Ute wasn’t the only thing they needed to worry about. While the events of the spring had been so magical to her for the most part, one early summer afternoon, she became familiar with one of the harsh realities of life in the desert of southern Utah territory. She
’d never even heard of a gully washer flood before coming here.

  She and Lije were over in a side canyon, checking a small herd of yearling horses. They on their way back when Brekka heard what sounded like a far off wind in the trees. Lije heard it too, and his head came up fast. She could tell he was listening intently and then he all but shouted, “Gully washer! Brekka, quick! We have to get out of this canyon! Follow me! Run!” Wheeling his horse, he kicked it and the horse must have been afraid as well because it lunged straight into a gallop. Brekka’s horse almost unseated her jumping after it.

  Both horses raced down the canyon path with the sound behind them getting louder. Lije’s horse leapt over a clump of brush in the path and stretched out into an all out run, a pace that would have been frightening in this terrain if she hadn’t already been terrified by the growing sound behind her. For three hundred yards the canyon was steep sided and narrow with the path winding in the bottom and no way to get out except forward. As the sound behind grew like a living thing, Brekka felt cold terror pulse through her. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but she’d never sensed fear in Lije. She sensed it now!

  Suddenly, her horse stumbled over another bush and Brekka lost her stirrups. She felt herself falling, but the horse caught itself and she grabbed the saddle horn in front of her with all of her strength and held on, stirrups flapping. The roar behind them sounded as if it was right on top of them!

  Finally, the canyon began to level out and Lije immediately veered from the path and began climbing the slope, their horses lunging up the steep hill. Rocks and gravel rolled under their hooves, with wiry brush clawing at them and again Brekka thought she was falling, holding on by gripping desperately with her knees and by shear arm strength.